Mix feelings, your opinion please - Please send positive vibes for Millie RTA (Sad news- RIP xx)

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Pav has just had Phoebes ashes buried and she is rather upset just now, I am sure she will be back on when she feels ready  to Pav

[Janeyk]

I hate noise LOL     and so do my cats cos they only have tv on occasionally and its nice and quite right now and they all asleep 

ditto, it's ok quiet I suppose but I been to a fosters and radio has been blurting out it would send me potty so poor cats

[Kittybabe (Ruth)]

Haven't heard differently so assuming so too

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I am sure it is 

[Rosella moggy]

D'ya think no news is good news? 

[Bazsmum]

Just wondering how Millie and yourself are getting on Pav? 

[Feline Costumier]

I only do it for my birdies now cos as I said mines a loud one (house lol!)....Its just with Pav being on her own with MillieI dont want her turning into mad woman who talks to herself all day! 

And that's wrong because? It's already me and more so now I've been banished from my usual office at work for talking too much

[Leanne]

Aww sounds like you're doing all the right things by Millie

[Desley (booktigger)]

Forgot to say about the radio - they actually say that either a talk station or classical music is best for scared cats - talk cos it gets them used to hearing voices, and classical for the soothing action. I couldn't find a classical station on my radio, so we spent the full 5 months SJ was here listening to TalkSport as it was the only talk station I could find!! Now everyone has to listen to Radio 1. Don't think the girls notice the odd day it isn't left on though, and the downstairs cats dont have a radio.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I only do it for my birdies now cos as I said mines a loud one (house lol!)....Its just with Pav being on her own with MillieI dont want her turning into mad woman who takes to herself all day! 



Yes Gilly you do also live on your own....but we already know you are mad woman so its too late for you now! 

Very true 

I am proud to be mad and beyond it all 

[Bazsmum]

I only do it for my birdies now cos as I said mines a loud one (house lol!)....Its just with Pav being on her own with MillieI dont want her turning into mad woman who talks to herself all day! 



Yes Gilly you do also live on your own....but we already know you are mad woman so its too late for you now! 

[Dawn F]

we always have the radio on at blue cross, although I do like home quiet!

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I hate noise LOL     and so do my cats cos they only have tv on occasionally and its nice and quite right now and they all asleep 

[Bazsmum]

....And I dont want you to think you are being awful putting your washer on! lol! What a sweetie you are, how many would go to the laundrette to not scare their cats?  

All these new sights, smells sounds etc she will get used to...Mine is a pretty loud house Pav, I quite found this funny yesterday...Blackie was out the back with some other cats and the council were cutting the grass verges and Blackie shot in the house for fear of the noise!  

Each day as it comes, something tells me that your weeks will certainly be shorter than mine in progress!  

Did you pop a radio on for background noise....its nice to have a level of noise to get used to!  

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

My goodness she is nearly as good as Sasa already 

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

I have a scardey Ginger tom that comes round to visit me every evening when he first started to visit as soon as I moved he he would run off but I persisted and talked to him telling him he was OK and safe and slowly over time he now trusts me enught to let me stroke him (while he's having his catmilk and a bit of wet food).

I would suggest just keep talking to Millie all the time .... telling her what you are doing, where you are going etc etc - a sort of running commentary on your life    (even if you can't see her she will probably be watching and definitely listening to you).  Once she starts to get used to the sound of your voice she will be less jumpy and I'm sure in time she will come round.

[Dawn F]

I used to know somebody who volunteered there - she was hoping to meet Anthony Head though I think!!!

[Kay and Penny]

I've found with scaredy Tosker that it's best to move around normally when he is hovering, as if I start creeping about or freezing on the spot he knows I am noticing him, which is just what he doesn't want - nor does he bother about normal household noises, like the TV or tumble drier
 
Millie is coming along nicely though Pav - she certainly doesn't sound a hopeless case by a long way

[pappilon]

oh pav, sorry about your back lol!  sounds like she is getting braver and it has only been a few days, with the best will in the world the mayhew must be a scary place with the noises and smells I'm sure she will come around quicker in your flat give it some time I bet within a month you will be seeing a bit more of her

Thanks Dawn, in mayhew they rely on volunteers to spend time with cats which need TLC,and i agree with you for a cat like Millie she has more chances of coming around in a quiet flat and i do hope she starts showing her face more.xx

[pappilon]

Thanks Desley and dancer for the tips
I did put some food out on both side of the sofa last night and while i was sitting here on computer she came out and i could hear her eating
I didn't turn to look and then heard her  moving around still ignored her When i went upstairs to go to bed she was in my bedroom behind the door and ran like a bullet But then during the night i had to come down few times and every time she was on landing playing and as soon as she saw me she ran down but came back up again. So at least now she comes out to eat while i am here in the same room with lights on and i think its going to take a long time for her not to runaway when she sees me.
I have to say i am really pleased with her progress and more happier than she is not behind the WM.
I am going to start reading to her from tonight while sitting on the sofa and the ham treat i start in couple of weeks. Thankyou everyone xx

[Feline Costumier]

Dougal is still funny when eating, any sudden movement and he's off under the bed, comes back quickly now though, stomach rules Bond on the other hand is very food motivated and I earned a lot of his trust with food.

I have limited experience with scaredy ferals, only having had two kittens which are much easier to bring round I imagine than an adult. I would just always talk to them, if I knew where they were hiding I would keep a not too intrusive distance and make sleepy eyes and chatter away to them. It's all a very slow process but every little moment of progress becomes a huge milestone and moment of pride.

She will bring you so much joy as all the little things add up to one big moment of trust

[Desley (booktigger)]

Hope your back is better today. I certainly do read books out loud to them, am sure SJ came out purely because he was fed up of me reading the Lion, witch and wardrobe set to him!!
Pav, what I did with him to get him to come out was to use a trail of ham, I would put some close to him for him to get the taste and then do a trail to out in the open (although in the beginning, it wasn't near where I sat) and eventually he would take some from my hand, although if he got scared, I just put it on the floor, so he got some regardless. I did leave it a month or so for him to settle before doing that, but I did have an advantage in that he was in one room, which I think was a big help. From time to time, I would also sleep in the room with him, as he was more active at night, and he also had a cuddly dog (that he still has, even though he has been in his new home for just over 3 years now)

[Dawn F]

oh pav, sorry about your back lol!  sounsd like she is getting braver and it has only been a few days, with the best will in the world the mayhew must be a scary place with the noises and smells I'm sure she will come around quicker in your flat give it some time I bet within a month you will be seeing a bit more of her

[pappilon]

Pav, there is a thread on CC with a link to a website with tips to help shy/feral cats, might be worth a read?

Thanks Desley, i try to find it tomorrow and see if there is any tips on how to get her out to eat when some one is around, i was told in mayhew she never does and she was there for weeks! THankyou x

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Oh Pav, she is having fun with you and that she is in the same room sounds great 

Misa used to pull himself under the recliner and stay there all the time between food.....I must take a picture cos its very small space to get under LOL

Look after your back Pav abd thunk Desley reads the books aloud 

[pappilon]

I still slow blink to Blackie, but now he also accepts the silly talk and scrunched up face too! He slow blinks back at me! 

Dont know what you are like for sitting/laying on the floor near to her pav, get a book or something so she is not your obvious attraction, think of David Attenborough and do one of them (become the background scenery!)

I think your doing great by the way, My Blackie does most of his jaunts of a night time as do my other cats so she is just being normal and when I say sit near her I do mean in the same room and dont want you trying to get behine the washer also! 

Thanks Ruth, i find it very uncomfortable to sit on the hard floore cos of my back, but did take your advice and sat behind next to WM with a book , and the feather which Ruth brought for me and spent more than 2 hours there till i heard scratching on my sofa came out and looked she was and still is behind the sofa, i feel such a fool She must have been there all day, i even went out to laundry so i dont disturb her

I guess its good that she is in the same room as me cos she must be feeling a bit braver and thinking look at this silly hooman
My back is killing me now  oh

[Desley (booktigger)]

Pav, there is a thread on CC with a link to a website with tips to help shy/feral cats, might be worth a read?

[Bazsmum]

when I say sit near her I do mean in the same room and dont want you trying to get behine the washer also! 

I'll pay loads to see that

You have one up on me though Kitty...you can actually picture the scene! 

[Kittybabe (Ruth)]

when I say sit near her I do mean in the same room and dont want you trying to get behine the washer also! 

I'll pay loads to see that

[Bazsmum]

I still slow blink to Blackie, but now he also accepts the silly talk and scrunched up face too! He slow blinks back at me! 

Dont know what you are like for sitting/laying on the floor near to her pav, get a book or something so she is not your obvious attraction, think of David Attenborough and do one of them (become the background scenery!)

I think your doing great by the way, My Blackie does most of his jaunts of a night time as do my other cats so she is just being normal and when I say sit near her I do mean in the same room and dont want you trying to get behine the washer also! 

[pinkpandora]

It took weeks before Jasmine came round but once she did she progressed every day to the point now where she sleeps on the bed with me and will come downstairs at food time and eat with the rest.

[Dawn F]

that sounds like progress to me - how cute that she was watching you!!

[Kittybabe (Ruth)]

Blink slowly at her a lot if she sees you watching her. Sage is nervous, but my partner realised (before me, actually bless him!) that if he blinked at her slowly she realised he wasn't a threat. (It's how they tell each other apparently.)

You're doing great, Pav.

When I got Lexy they told me that blinking slowly and then looking away was a sign of submissiveness, so if you did that when looking at the cat, they would see themselves as your superior. Nothing new then!

Have to say that I think Millie is showing amazing progress considering her background.  It was great to see her toys all over the place yesterday, she clearly is playing and that's just great. You're doing well, honey. x

[Christine (Blip)]

From what I can make out, you're making remarkable progress, Pav, even if it seems painfully slow to you 

[JackSpratt]

Blink slowly at her a lot if she sees you watching her. Sage is nervous, but my partner realised (before me, actually bless him!) that if he blinked at her slowly she realised he wasn't a threat. (It's how they tell each other apparently.)

You're doing great, Pav.

[Janeyk]

I think you will be ok to glance but I just wouldn't stare at her, you will instinctively know what to do I think  with the ferals outside if they are looking scared when I approach them to bring food I don't stare I take the food and say their names gently and they don't run away now.  I also get down to their level alot of the time and now Zippy will come to me (but I still can't touch him) most of the regulars will come when I call them now.  I would act naturally and do my normal things but be wary that she may be in certain placesl, I wouldn't force the pace and would just go with the flow, I'm sure her confidence will come in time but I would put food out when you are there and she should com out in her own time, if she doesn't no matter and when she does - gradually nearer to you but just take it one step at a time 

[clarenmax]

Sounds to me like you're doing just fine hunnie 

As others have said, let her do everything in her own time, just go about your normal day to day activities, she'll soon get used to all the noises, and then things won't seem quite so scary in time.

I'd find it hard not to keep looking as well, but can totally understand why you shouldn't  xxxxx

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

  you will ba able to look at her as soon as she gets braver.....well sort of LOL

I thought she was ginger cos thought you mentioned about ginger fur somewhere.

You will just have to wash by hand 

LOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK she is sneaking up behind you 

[pappilon]

Thanks Gill, i just dont want her to feel she has food and safety when no one is around so why should she comes out when some one is ! I dont mind if it takes months for her to trust me, that's why she is here to feel safe and trust people  so one day she can get a good home. I haven't been able to do my normal things like laundry cos i think if she is still behind the machine i would scare her and also last 2 nights i have been going to bed early so she can come out and play, it must be horrible to sit all day hiding
There is hiding places for her under the stairs and a box with cushion inside, i also left feliway diffuser in the kitchen for her.
Ok i wont look at her direct ever again its just curiosity to see how she really looks like and what she is upto.
She is kind of light ginger i think but i cant see well in dark She is one year old and short hair and skinny but long She is only 2.6 kilogram and i think she has huge ears and i just heard a noise behind me in the kitchen but i am not going to turn and look. x

[Kay and Penny]

everything Gill says, plus I would add do not put a full day's food out at night - she will need to be hungry to make progress

then leave some dry food out where she can eat it during the day without being disturbed

and put out something soft to lie on anywhere the sun comes into the flat, as all cats are drawn to the sun

but it sounds as if she is relaxed when she does come out, and that is a good sign for the future