Author Topic: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days  (Read 49153 times)

Offline Dawn F

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #273 on: September 02, 2009, 10:02:57 AM »
glad to hear it!  I was worried for you!

Offline miriambuddy

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #272 on: September 02, 2009, 09:53:56 AM »
Not South Acton estate, THANK GOD!, they throw fridges from the balconies on to the police there!. It's the friary estate which is fairly small but not a place you want to enter if you don't have to. I hated it when my searching took me in there!

Offline Janeyk

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #271 on: September 02, 2009, 09:51:21 AM »
It's just a little corner lamp that provides more of a glow then a spotlight, his hiding place is pretty much in the dark. The last time I switched it off he went crazy, trying to run out of a closed window. I'll try it again tonight to see if he is OK with it. I can still hear him walking about whilst I'm in bed which I like!
His 'girlfriend', a sweet little tortoiseshell has come to the garden a few times, maybe she can smell him through the window!. she never came in the home before so I don't think she would now but i tell Buddy his girlfriend is looking for him!

Next to the road Buddy went missing is a small,  fairly anti-social housing estate and whilst Buddy was missing, there were reports of some of the residents being cruel to animals in the neighbourhood, throwing objects at them etc. I don't know if Buddy experienced any of these attacks but if he did, it could explain his current fear of humans.

If Buddy seems distressed with the lamp turned off then in that case I would leave it on  :hug:

terrible about the attacks and it does sound a coincidence
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Offline Dawn F

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #270 on: September 02, 2009, 09:29:40 AM »
you sound like you are doing everything right Miriam, he will come round I'm sure - not south acton estate by any chance??

Offline miriambuddy

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #269 on: September 02, 2009, 09:24:19 AM »
It's just a little corner lamp that provides more of a glow then a spotlight, his hiding place is pretty much in the dark. The last time I switched it off he went crazy, trying to run out of a closed window. I'll try it again tonight to see if he is OK with it. I can still hear him walking about whilst I'm in bed which I like!
His 'girlfriend', a sweet little tortoiseshell has come to the garden a few times, maybe she can smell him through the window!. she never came in the home before so I don't think she would now but i tell Buddy his girlfriend is looking for him!

Next to the road Buddy went missing is a small,  fairly anti-social housing estate and whilst Buddy was missing, there were reports of some of the residents being cruel to animals in the neighbourhood, throwing objects at them etc. I don't know if Buddy experienced any of these attacks but if he did, it could explain his current fear of humans.

Offline Shirley

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #268 on: September 02, 2009, 08:28:36 AM »
Poor baby, what on earth could have happened 'outside' to make him so nervous of the one who loves him? I really hope he starts to feel much better very soon, it must be heartbreaking for you x

Offline Janeyk

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #267 on: September 02, 2009, 07:11:44 AM »
It does sound like it may a while Miriam it really makes you wonder why they change so much.  I think though that I would probably turn the light off or do as you did before this happened as I don't think that Buddy would see the light on in the same way we would.   I think cats quite like the dark and I would, try and keep things (apart from letting him come round at his pace of course) pretty much the way they would be if that makes sense  :hug:
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Offline Bazsmum

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #266 on: September 02, 2009, 02:15:14 AM »
Slowly does it... I like the sound of the hidey hole you have made for him Miriam its giving him more space to feel secure in and relax!  ;)

Sounds daft but do you think he would remember his pal? I wonder how he would react to seeing him again! (thats if his pal is the sort to come indoors of course)  :sneaky: :hug: :hug:

Offline Kay&2Ts

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #265 on: September 02, 2009, 00:17:00 AM »
if only we knew what was going on in their heads :(

I wonder about leaving the light on overnight, though, Miriam - cats like the dark, and often find it relaxing

he would have no problem finding his way around in the dark
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Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #264 on: September 01, 2009, 23:42:34 PM »
Yes I think your vet is right and its good he has moved where he is hiding cos it shows that he has a little confidence to change things around to suit him.

I think he needs a number of hiding places around the room where he believes that he is hiden from view.

He will come round slowly slowly  :hug: :hug:

Offline miriambuddy

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #263 on: September 01, 2009, 23:23:14 PM »
Hi Shirley, thanks for asking.
Little Buddy is still under the sofa bless him, on the odd occasion i see him, he still looks scared. I have created a little 'home within a home' for him with a little bed with soft blankets inside a cardboard box, a scratching post with a seat at the top which I put treats on the base to attractive  him (he eats the treats!). He eats when I am asleep or out so there is always fresh food for him and his litter fresh each day. I talk to him all the time. I leave a light on all night so he can see where everything is. The felway diffuser is very close to his hiding place. I spoke to a vet and they said it can literally take him months to settle back in. He changed his hiding place which is giving him more room, now in between the sofa and the bookcase but still hidden. I have faith that one day he will realise that he is safe again.

Offline Shirley

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #262 on: September 01, 2009, 22:24:14 PM »
How's Buddy doing, Miriam?

Offline Dawn F

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #261 on: August 25, 2009, 16:57:13 PM »
Oko is pretty good for smells (although a couple of mine are a bit lax with the covering up)!  it tracks a bit but I haven't found anything better so stick with it

Offline miriambuddy

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #260 on: August 25, 2009, 16:55:01 PM »
especially when the smell can literrally wake you from your sleep! :rofl:

aah, I've been home a lot today and he walked around a little bit. but on one of his appearance from the bottom of the sofa ( I was sitting on the edge of the sofa), he made me jump (!) which caused him to skid on his legs and panic back under the sofa, oops, trying to gain forgiveness with a tin of tuna, not working yet but hopefully soon

Jolleys is really good with their next day delivery service, reckon I'm gonna become a regular customer, beats breaking your back carrying litter home from the supermarket!

Offline Kay&2Ts

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #259 on: August 25, 2009, 12:34:07 PM »
perhaps they think we like having big smelly poos in the house, and leave them for us when they have no dead critters to offer up :rofl:
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Offline Bazsmum

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #258 on: August 25, 2009, 10:10:21 AM »
My Blackie went AWOL last week and the first thing he did when he got back in was a big poo in the litter tray.... It did make me notice how much he had changed... From feral to domesticated "not quite" but getting there!  ;)

Its a long road but you have ammunition which is patience and tons of it!  :Luv: :hug: :hug:

Offline Kay&2Ts

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #257 on: August 24, 2009, 22:21:11 PM »
that's a coincidence - I've just ordered a supply of the self-same litter for Tosker, who prefers the tray in the kitchen to the three outdoor soil beds in the patio, and the rest of my garden, not to mention the neighbours' gardens

he even climbs up the fence from the outside, jumps down into the enclosure, comes into the kitchen, wees in the tray, goes back out and climbs the fence again  :Crazy:
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Offline Sam (Fussy_Furball)

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #256 on: August 24, 2009, 22:03:27 PM »
 :hug: Ahhh bless him ... I'm sure he will thank you for it in the end Miriam.

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Offline miriambuddy

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #255 on: August 24, 2009, 22:01:01 PM »
I've also ordered 2 more months of felway diffuser and on recommendations on another thread, best cat oko litter instead of the supermarket one I've been using and changing everyday. When your used to your cat using the outside at their loo, you don't realise how smelly it can be!
but I'd bend over backwards to do anything to help him.

Offline Bazsmum

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #254 on: August 24, 2009, 18:51:01 PM »
Poor Buddy!  :( Sending calming vibes his direction~~~~~Thinking of you both!  :Luv: :hug:

Offline Liz

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #253 on: August 24, 2009, 18:46:06 PM »
It really is such a shame when they are so traumatised but he will come round time and love are the best medicine :hug:
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Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #252 on: August 24, 2009, 18:24:03 PM »
Poor little man  :hug:

Offline miriambuddy

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #251 on: August 24, 2009, 18:18:57 PM »
Aah, when i was out today, little Buddy tried to get out to the sunshine so much he bought down a net curtain, poor little mite, it has to be stuffy under the sofa where he lives when I am home and awake.
and he didn't like the prawns I got him!, I think I'll  have more luck with tins of tuna!

Offline miriambuddy

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #250 on: August 22, 2009, 00:09:12 AM »
Thanks Gill, I'll try it that way.

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #249 on: August 22, 2009, 00:01:39 AM »
I think its a bit early for the prawns in hand yet and would try just putting them in a dish   and then stand about 3 ft away. You keep moving the dish slowely closer to you until you until he is eating with the dish at your feet and then its time for prawns in hand  ;D

It can take a few weeks to get them to do this and slowly slowly is best. You dont move the dish closer to you until he has mastered each step and you may find you need to be 6 foot away to start with.

Offline miriambuddy

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #248 on: August 21, 2009, 23:55:29 PM »
Buddy has popped out from under the sofa the past two morning and watched me in the kitchen for a few minutes, I keep talking to him without looking directly at him but if I try to go anywhere near him, off he runs back under the sofa but sitting on the carpet the same time I am in view is a big step.
tomorrow I am going to try the 'prawns in hand' method to see if he will eat from my hand.
Baby steps.

Offline Shirley

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #247 on: August 21, 2009, 12:53:58 PM »
Hope Buddy is still improving Miriam.

Offline Christine (Blip)

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #246 on: August 18, 2009, 09:43:29 AM »
Buddy previously would run away and hide from all humans except me and my mother who had him as a kitten so I guess he has always had a 'scardey cat' element in his personality.


I guessed so Miriam, I am sure you will get your old Buddy back - just may take time  :hug:

Ah, then that explains so much.  I agree with Janey and the others - you'll get there  :hug:.
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Offline Janeyk

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #245 on: August 18, 2009, 09:30:18 AM »
Buddy previously would run away and hide from all humans except me and my mother who had him as a kitten so I guess he has always had a 'scardey cat' element in his personality.


I guessed so Miriam, I am sure you will get your old Buddy back - just may take time  :hug:
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Offline Dawn F

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #244 on: August 18, 2009, 08:45:13 AM »
good news that he is improving  :hug:

Offline Bazsmum

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #243 on: August 18, 2009, 03:39:02 AM »
Glad to hear that some progress is occurring, a lot of this comes down to psychology, some of it sounds nuts... But believe me it all works!  ;) :Luv: :hug:

Well Done Miriam!  :wow:

 

Offline miriambuddy

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #242 on: August 17, 2009, 21:25:22 PM »
Starting doing the eye diversion and blinking, when i look away, he carry's on eating rather than running away again. And I think the felway diffuser is helping as I had a powercut yesterday for a few hours and when i was out, he went to the toilet in the bath. Since it is back on, he is using his litter tray as normal.
Don't worry, I would never rush Buddy, everything is at his pace.
Buddy previously would run away and hide from all humans except me and my mother who had him as a kitten so I guess he has always had a 'scardey cat' element in his personality.

Helen - Buddy never liked milk so sadly I can't out the Bachs in there.

Offline Philip

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #241 on: August 17, 2009, 18:20:42 PM »
Its wonderful news that he's home.

I think time will be a great healer in this case. My experience with really timid cats showed that it did take quite a long time for them to fully settle, but lots of time, love and care will be rewarded.

when you visit where he is sit on the floor and become as small as you can and gently talk to him. If he looks at you blink you're eyes slowly closed and open. Then yawn and look away. They see yawning as a reassurance that you are not intent on doing any harm. Keep visiting regularly and doing this and sometimes leave treats (prawns work well in these cases).

Leaving a radio on quietly when you are not around will provide reassurance and assist in getting him used to sounds in the home again.

He will still smell of the outside and is yet to Acquire the "clan" scent. He will feel more secure when that scent becomes familiar to him.

Best of luck

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Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #240 on: August 17, 2009, 12:36:06 PM »
I think trigger is right  and you start off like he is a new cat. His experience outside for so long must have traumatized him so badly and only lots of time and TLC will bring him back but it must be done at his time, not yours.

I agree its wonderful you now know where he is and that he is at last safe again.

Never look at him directly, well not until he comes round again.

Misa spent a few weeks under the recliner when he first came here and even now 4 years on, he is not a people cat and jumps at the slightest noise behind him and hides if the doorbell rings.

Its so sad that cats retain this fear and I have two that do and one I still cant touch but I know that they are safe and warm, have food and nobody will hurt them  and at least they know they are safe in the house and can come in when ever they want.

I am sure that Buddy will slowly come to trust you again but be prepared for a long patient wait and dont push him cos I think that will just make it take longer  :hug: :hug:

Offline Janeyk

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #239 on: August 17, 2009, 07:17:53 AM »
With the ferals outside if they look fearful when I approach I keep my head turned the opposite way but talk gently and friendly towards them, most of them will let me get very close now. 

Miriam, was Buddy always a bit of a scaredy cat or was he a cuddle puss?
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Offline Tiggy's Mum

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #238 on: August 16, 2009, 22:52:16 PM »
Does he like cat milk? You could put a few drops in a small amount of cat milk, he'd be guaranteed to drink it that way.  When I used it with Lu he really didn't like me rubbing it on his ears (although it did work) so the milk route could be a winner if he likes it.

Offline miriambuddy

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #237 on: August 16, 2009, 22:47:57 PM »
Thanks Sam, tricky because a) I can't get anywhere near him and b) he preferred his water in the form of puddles. If I can get close to him, I will definitely try the rubbung on the ears, thanks.

Offline Sam (Fussy_Furball)

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #236 on: August 16, 2009, 22:41:41 PM »
Miriam Bachs Rescue remedy can be added to drinking wter (just add a few drops) or the best thing is to rub a little bit on the backs of their ears ... assuming of course you are able to get close to him.

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Offline miriambuddy

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #235 on: August 16, 2009, 22:22:25 PM »
Thanks for the tips guys, they sure are funny little things!
To be honest, it's not to upsetting because at least now I KNOW where he is!, under the sofa is better than out on the streets. I know 'Buddy' is in there somewhere and one day he will realise he is now safe. And I have great comfort in knowing that I DID find him and bring him home, even though he is not completely in one piece. Tonight's attempt is a slice of buttered bread and I know he cannot resist a little bit of butter!

Offline Kay&2Ts

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Re: Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days
« Reply #234 on: August 16, 2009, 22:05:30 PM »
I think for now, Miriam, you will have to forget about the 'old' Buddy and concentrate on the 'new' Buddy

start from scratch as if he was a stray you had just found by chance, and treat him accordingly, and hopefully he will gradually change back into the cat he once was

it must be very difficult for you, but ultimately I suspect the rewards will outweigh all the difficulties you are currently experiencing :hug:   
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