Long post incoming sorry but I'm breaking my heart as I've agreed to re-home one of my cats and I'm desperate to know if I've made the right decision
Asha joined Willow & I 4.5 years ago as a tiny kitten. I did all the right intro over several weeks but it didn't exactly work out and she has always tried to play with Willow who has treated her with total disdain so they reached the stage of tolerating each other... until I moved flat at the end of last year. It's a much bigger property so I had hoped it would improve their relationship but all the rooms are off a long central hallway which has become prime location for territorial blocking in their power struggle.
They are housecats due to central London location (and vets orders as Willow had bad reactions to flea treatments) but in the right location there is no reason why Asha couldn't go out. Asha is extremely playful... she wants to play 24/7 and after an hour+ play session when I attempt to take a break she will keep bringing me toys and sitting at my feet crying for more, she'll do this for at least 30-45 mins until she slinks off to the top of her cat tree. I get the impression that she's bored and requires more stimulation than I can provide which might explain why she's started bullying Willow.
I regularly see Willow running down the hall with Asha in hot pursuit, when she catches Willow she pounces on her back which has Willow hissing and spitting. Last week I saw Asha force Willow down the stairs towards my front door then sit on the top step to block her coming back up, later than evening she was chasing her again and Willow was desperate to find escape so I picked her up and she immediately started crying and struggling to escape which is a first for her, it seemed like a panic reaction to me. The next day Willow had cystitis which I think was probably stress related so I came to the conclusion it was in both their interests to separate them.
So that's the background to why I made the decision but here's the tough bit. My best friend's son in Wales bought a large four bedroom home with huge garden earlier this year and having grown up with cats decided him & his wife would like their own furbaby. He knows the problems I'm having and has been offering for several months to adopt Asha so after last week's turmoil I agreed. So far so good... except, I rarely get visitors to my flat so Asha is not socialised and she may not want to go out as she won't leave my flat to go into the communal area even if I leave the door open. She is an incredibly timid, nervous cat with strangers, noises, doorbells, etc and will hide for the whole weekend when any of my family visit. They are a young couple who have friends visit regularly and I worried I'm condemning her to a life of misery hiding under a bed!
I've been through all the usual advise with the new owners and sent the links to re homing tips about putting her in her own room etc.. plus I've bought them feliway diffusers, a supply of Zylkene and she'll be going with her own cat carrier, bed, litter tray, toys and a supply of her usual food & litter. They didn't want her cat tree which is a shame as it's only a few months old and she loves her bed up by the ceiling... I understand they go for the minimalist look so I suspect this wouldn't fit with the decor! Asha is also a biter when receiving unwanted attention (fortunately they are several years off starting a family) so I've warned them she may nip but they seem undeterred. I'm really not convinced they realise what they are taking on and the amount of work & patience that will be required for her to become the affectionate, hugable sweetie she is for me!
I've offered to take her back if it doesn't work out but I'm desperately worried about how she will cope. Ideally I would re-home her with a quiet retired person who is home all day to lavish attention on her but life is not so easy
Am I just putting human emotions on a cat and she will flourish when she settles in? Maybe but you guys are far most used to these situations than me so any advice would be welcome
Thanks for reading, I know it's a bit of a novel!