Asha heads off to a new home

[Tiggy's Mum]

That's good to hear that it all worked out for the best, and for both of them too  It must have been heartbraking to let Asha go so I'm pleased for you that it turned out to be the right decision 100% 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Thats great and so pleased its all worked out well for both cats 

[Puffball (Louise)]

Hi All

Sorry it's been ages since I was online but here's the final update to the story. The cats have been transformed by the separation. Willow is once again a confident, relaxed and affectionate cat. The ceiling high cat tree that had been Asha's territory sat unused for a few months but the top platform is now Willow's favorite perch in the day and she's sleeping on my bed again at night. There's been no more cystitis and she's clearly much happier as a solo cat

Asha adjusted very quickly to her new family. She showed no inclination to go outside so they are keeping her as an indoor cat but I think she gets far more attention than she did at mine and seems to be thriving. She'd been getting a bit portly at mine but looking at photos she's lost weight so she must be getting more exercise and is looking very sleek and healthy. They moved house in March so she's had a lot to get used to in a few short months but I'm told she's undergone a personality change in their new home. While she was still a very timid cat before she's now quite social and doesn't hide at the slightest noise... they say she's like a "normal" cat now!

After all the stress and heartache over doing the right thing, I wish I'd done it years ago. It's been a win/win result so many thanks for all the advice and job done! 

Louise

[Tiggy's Mum]

Just wondering if you had heard any more from Asha's new owners on how she's been settling in? 

[Tiggy's Mum]

Pleased to hear she is getting more and more relaxed in their company (apart from the cat box bit, that's nothing to do with them - mine do that too and the memory of fighting them into the box pales into the background as they slink back into it in a split second at the vets!  )

Sounds like Willow was used to the company, even if Asha was mean to her she will have been used to her being there and any change is obviously going to be a bit unsettling for her. I 100% agree that you did the right thing for both of them, and very brave of you too considering how long you'd had them 

[Puffball (Louise)]

Asha ventured out of her room on Friday to explore the house then settled down in the living room and played for an hour  Her new dad is a little disappoined she's such a mummy's girl... he's saying he doesn't get a look in. I ermm, "forgot" to mention that most of my visitors are female and she's more confident with them  but I'm sure he'll win her over with lots of play 

They took her to the vet yesterday for her annual jabs and said she meowed all the way there but was as good as gold at the vet and got back in her carrier easily to come home  haven't the heart to tell them she was frozen with fear and her carrier was a safe place from the scary vet!

Willow has turned a bit weird in Asha's absence, she's more playful now but still clingy and sometimes wanders round the house crying and doesn't want play or cuddles, I can only assume she's pining for Asha. Having spent months stressing about Asha chasing Willow up and down the hallway, Willow now stands there crying and when I approach goes haring off in chase me mode  But hard as it may be for Willow I'm still sure it's the right move for Asha as her new owners do plan to allow her the outdoor access I think she needs as she's so bored as an indoor cat.

Bit worried I'm away for three nights next weekend and Willow will be alone, it's bad timing but a long standing arrangement. I expect she'll be be fine and it's just me worrying, but that's us mad cat people for ya 

[Tiggy's Mum]

Sounds like she's doing just fine   

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Sounds like Asha is doing very well 

Willow too lol

[Puffball (Louise)]

Update on my baby... she ate her first full meal (cleared the bowl) on Monday evening and even jumped up on her new Mummy's lap. They say she'll only eat late evening or during the night, plus she's only eaten wet food and is still not drinking, but I figure that's fine. And she produced her first poo (so proud of her  ).

When they get home from work she hides under the table but comes out later and they've even got her to play using Da Bird which is her absolute fav (I ordered one from the shop for her to take with her). But she then realises she's let her guard down and hides under the table again. As she only went on Saturday I think that's good progress

Back at home Willow looked for her for a few days and was extremely clingy. Unfortunately for me she's now reverted to her pre-Asha state and wakes me up at 6am every morning wanting to play 

[Puffball (Louise)]

Thanks for all the replies I haven't had an update this evening but have passed on the advice

[Tiggy's Mum]

I very rarely see mine drink so wouldn't be worried at this stage, perhaps they could put a slosh of water in with her wet food to give her a moistire boost.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Like Dawn I hardly ever see Misa nad Lupin drink, only Sasa

[Puffball (Louise)]

Thanks Dawn, I used to see her drinking at mine but as you say if she's eating wet food she is getting moisture. I asked about litter tray use and she's been 3 times which I assume is a sign that she must be getting some fluids

[Dawn F]

if she is eating wet food I wouldn't worry, I rarely see any of mine drink, cats tend to get moisture from cat food

[Puffball (Louise)]

Update on Asha this morning. She finally ate last night but still hasn't drunk anything, the new owners are asking if they should take her to the vet. Her only fluids have been wet food; she had a meal at mine about 9am Saturday and what she ate last night. When should they start to panic?

[Puffball (Louise)]

I took a big cardboard box with a hole cut out and put in the room... they looked a bit shocked so I told them it's just a hidey hole for now and they could bin it in a couple of weeks hoping it's not already in the rubbish!

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Yes you are right one room at a time with places to hide like un upside down cardboard box with a hole cut out.

So important for them to take it slowly and hope they know a boit more than it seems!

[Tiggy's Mum]

Hope she settles down and that everybody ends up happy, must have been such a difficult thing for you to do 

[Puffball (Louise)]

Asha has gone to her new home  ... she cried for two hours straight in the car and settled down just before we arrived. I set up her quiet room and opened her much hated cat carrier, she shot out straight away and into a book case where she forced her way behind the books!

Update this evening and she has used her litter tray already bless her, though she's not eaten but I guess that's normal. She's now in her cat bed hiding under the cushion. I'm told she's not ventured out of her room yet... grrr! I did tell them to keep the door closed for a couple of days so I've sent an email to remind them or she may find a new hiding spot and be impossible to find!

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Try not to pre-judge and certainly a new home will be enough challenge for her to start with and then it proberly will depend on the surrounding area and roads and stuff 

[Puffball (Louise)]

New development in Asha's rehoming plans. My friend said her son has a large garden and I'd just assumed Asha would have access to it but he told me today they plan to keep her as a house cat. She's never been outside so it's not like she'll miss it but I suspect most of the issues I have with her stem from boredom as an indoor life doesn't provide the stimulation she needs. She's due to go Saturday and they are all excited and buying cat stuff for her... what a dilema 

[Puffball (Louise)]

Could you not start job hunting now and move to Wales sooner and then keep her? If you found somewhere with a garden....

I've been looking for about 6 months but what I do is quite specialised and there's only been 1 job I could apply for in all that time that would pay enough for me to live independently and not have to return to my parents.. even that was in Bristol so I'd have had to commute I have considered moving anyway in the hope something turns up but I think it would hard to let Asha out while keeping Willow in, especially as Willow is the adventurous one who would want to go out but has to stay in on vets orders.

[heather sullivan]

Could you not start job hunting now and move to Wales sooner and then keep her? If you found somewhere with a garden....

[Tiggy's Mum]

Willow looks like she's walking on eggshells most of the time and she's had cystitis twice in the last month after Asha has been hounding her and they've ended up rolling round on the floor with Willow hissing and snarling, ears flat to her head, back legs kicking and trying to bite at Asha's neck. A part of me wonders if this is just the normal rough and tumble of a multi-cat house but deep down I know Asha needs more stimulation than I can provide 

I have two brothers and their 'rough and tumble' play is nothing like the above  I really think you are making the right decision for both of them, as upsetting as it is  The ideal scenario will be that Asha thrives in her new home and extra stimulation of going outside and that Willow can relax in her own home without fear of being chased/attacked. You can always be there as a back-up for Asha if things don't work out as you'd hoped.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I think you should leave it until Christmas and if she hasnt settled by then..............ummmmmmmmm well I guess you know what I think 

[Puffball (Louise)]

Thanks Gill. I will be able to visit Asha, I'm from Wales and my parents are 10 mins drive from her new home. I also plan to move back myself sometime next year if I can find a job there. But I had thought it would unsettle her if I visited, is that wrong? If it's OK should I leave it until after she's settled in? She's moving on Sat 17th and I'll in Wales again 2 weeks later then back again for Christmas

I'm rather stunned that they have been playing again this evening... bit like the many stories I've read on here of the cat bed that is totally ignored until the day you decide to ditch it and it miraculously becomes number 1 spot. There has been no fur flying between them or at least no injuries, but Willow looks like she's walking on eggshells most of the time and she's had cystitis twice in the last month after Asha has been hounding her and they've ended up rolling round on the floor with Willow hissing and snarling, ears flat to her head, back legs kicking and trying to bite at Asha's neck. A part of me wonders if this is just the normal rough and tumble of a multi-cat house but deep down I know Asha needs more stimulation than I can provide 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

You have my sympathy and do hope it works well for Asha, such a hard thing to do 

She sounds so like Lupin my 2yr old birman and he will pounce on huge Misa who crys and moves backwards and occasionally gives him a big wop but Lupin is scared of Lady Sasa who only has to look at him or go squeak if he gets too close and he will back away 

He wants to play non-stop which is just not feasible but I feel after a year plus they are all integrated as much as possible and in the wopping contests fur doesnt actually fly and Lupin is just playing but Misa is such a gentle giant and doesnt want to play.

Sasa is definately the top cat and Lupin is under her control, I think this is quite good cos she is the only one who can control him 

I live in Wales and sad you cant visit Asha but sending all my best wishes that she settles 

[Puffball (Louise)]

Thanks for the replies and WOW Tiggy's Mum you have a good memory!

Typical  cats... Willow is howling in the hall at 6am this morning, when I go to investigate she's not interested in me but as soon as Asha appears Willow starts a game of chase with her  And I've been lavishing so much attention on Asha for the last few days she's here that she's stopped bothering Willow, but I won't fool myself that it's sustainable as in normal circumstances I really don't have several hours every day to play with her (and she's still sat at my feet, toy in mouth, crying for more!)

This has been the hardest decision I've ever had to make and every time I think about it I break down in tears... embarrassing when at work! I have no idea how I'll cope when the day arrives so I try to keep reminding myself I'm giving her the chance of a better life which is a good thing for her and if it doesn't work I take her back and think again.

[heather sullivan]

Its a very hard decision, just a shame it will be miles away so you cant even visit her. Our 2 cats dont get on at all, our 13 year old male who is very aggressive (used to chase foxes out of the garden) is now totally bullied by my 7 year female. Both were rescue cats. Moses was "found in a basket" at the PDSA and Sylvie was a feral cat who wasnt looked after so I catnapped her   They wont walk past each other without Sylvie swiping, Moses normally legs it, but on a brave day they will chase each other and hiss and spit. We just let them get on with it

[Tiggy's Mum]

Wow, I remember you posting about the problems you were having not long after you first got her - nobody could ever say you didn't persevere!  I think it's really brave what you're doing, it must be gutting to have to rehome her but it sounds like you're putting your cats needs over your own 

As Myblesdaughter says you may be surprised at how well Asha settles in to her new home. It does seem like a win-win situation really as you are lucky to have a home lined up for her, not to mention somebody that you know and as you say she can always come back to you temporarily if things don't work out.

I'm sure that Asha will eventually bond with the couple and if their visitors do frighten her then it's not like she will be covering under a bed in the same room - with a 4 bedroom house she probably won't even know they are there and can carrying on snoozing in one of the rooms the visitors aren't in.

[Mymblesdaughter]

It's difficult to know how she will react in her new home as all cats are different. I had two cats that didn't get on and made everyones life miserable. Gizmo was very nervous and spent a lot of time outside, I quite often had to go out and find her and bring her in. I tried everything to get them to like each other but they were continually attacking each other. I rehomed her to my parents house and she was a different cat. We lived a pretty quite life just the two of us with not many visitors. My parents were just the opposite they always have people around. Anyway Gizmo would run and hide at my house when people came round at my parents she would sit in the middle of a room full of people and absolutely love the attention. I could not believe the difference. Greycat obviously made her into a nervous wreck and once she was away from her she could relax. Greycat was also much happier once she'd gone. 

I've been told that two females can often be a problem. Not sure how true this is but I decided to get a brother and sister this time to avoid aggravation.

Hopefully Asha will love her new home. You can always take her back if things don't work out. 

[Puffball (Louise)]

Long post incoming sorry but I'm breaking my heart as I've agreed to re-home one of my cats and I'm desperate to know if I've made the right decision

Asha joined Willow & I 4.5 years ago as a tiny kitten. I did all the right intro over several weeks but it didn't exactly work out and she has always tried to play with Willow who has treated her with total disdain so they reached the stage of tolerating each other... until I moved flat at the end of last year. It's a much bigger property so I had hoped it would improve their relationship but all the rooms are off a long central hallway which has become prime location for territorial blocking in their power struggle.

They are housecats due to central London location (and vets orders as Willow had bad reactions to flea treatments) but in the right location there is no reason why Asha couldn't go out. Asha is extremely playful... she wants to play 24/7 and after an hour+ play session when I attempt to take a break she will keep bringing me toys and sitting at my feet crying for more, she'll do this for at least 30-45 mins until she slinks off to the top of her cat tree. I get the impression that she's bored and requires more stimulation than I can provide which might explain why she's started bullying Willow.

I regularly see Willow running down the hall with Asha in hot pursuit, when she catches Willow she pounces on her back which has Willow hissing and spitting. Last week I saw Asha force Willow down the stairs towards my front door then sit on the top step to block her coming back up, later than evening she was chasing her again and Willow was desperate to find escape so I picked her up and she immediately started crying and struggling to escape which is a first for her, it seemed like a panic reaction to me. The next day Willow had cystitis which I think was probably stress related so I came to the conclusion it was in both their interests to separate them.

So that's the background to why I made the decision but here's the tough bit. My best friend's son in Wales bought a large four bedroom home with huge garden earlier this year and having grown up with cats decided him & his wife would like their own furbaby. He knows the problems I'm having and has been offering for several months to adopt Asha so after last week's turmoil I agreed. So far so good... except, I rarely get visitors to my flat so Asha is not socialised and she may not want to go out as she won't leave my flat to go into the communal area even if I leave the door open. She is an incredibly timid, nervous cat with strangers, noises, doorbells, etc and will hide for the whole weekend when any of my family visit. They are a young couple who have friends visit regularly and I worried I'm condemning her to a life of misery hiding under a bed!

I've been through all the usual advise with the new owners and sent the links to re homing tips about putting her in her own room etc.. plus I've bought them feliway diffusers, a supply of Zylkene and she'll be going with her own cat carrier, bed, litter tray, toys and a supply of her usual food & litter. They didn't want her cat tree which is a shame as it's only a few months old and she loves her bed up by the ceiling... I understand they go for the minimalist look so I suspect this wouldn't fit with the decor! Asha is also a biter when receiving unwanted attention (fortunately they are several years off starting a family) so I've warned them she may nip but they seem undeterred. I'm really not convinced they realise what they are taking on and the amount of work & patience that will be required for her to become the affectionate, hugable sweetie she is for me!

I've offered to take her back if it doesn't work out but I'm desperately worried about how she will cope. Ideally I would re-home her with a quiet retired person who is home all day to lavish attention on her but life is not so easy Am I just putting human emotions on a cat and she will flourish when she settles in? Maybe but you guys are far most used to these situations than me so any advice would be welcome

Thanks for reading, I know it's a bit of a novel!