Author Topic: New cat....or no new cat?  (Read 10136 times)

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: New cat....or no new cat?
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2013, 18:57:47 PM »
I also havent had a holiday since 1993 cos a cat walked into my garden and that was it!

I lost her after moving here some 8 years ago but within 7 days had two new cats cos couldnt stand not having a cat around!

Have gone from there to 4 lost one and got another and am now at 3!

Good luck with your decision

Offline Rosella moggy

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Re: New cat....or no new cat?
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2013, 18:35:20 PM »
they say she wees on the sofas overnight but poos in the tray.

Is there only one tray?  Locking two cats in a room overnight sharing one tray to both pee and poo is not a very good idea :shy:  The other problem is of course the difficulty of getting rid of the smell of urine from the sofa.  It may not seem too smelly to a human but a cat's nose is far more sensitive and they do tend to pee in the place that already whiffs of pee. 

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: New cat....or no new cat?
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2013, 17:49:28 PM »


Oh Miroslav :hug: :hug:  The fact that you're caring is your biggest possible pitfall here.

I'm sad to learn that heartache has been such a big part of your life, but I hope that means you've had a lot of loving too, as the counter point.  :hug:

To not have had a break away longer than 2 days in 20 years is a huge commitment that you've given to others, so maybe now is the time to be a little selfish for once, and think of yourself? 

Would it be worthwhile suggesting to the people who've asked you to take this cat to consider working with a pet behaviourist to see if they can establish what the problem is with the cat that's weeing (whichever one it turns out to be?)   It seems to me they need to show a little commitment too.   If they dont want to (or cant afford to) what about them reading a few useful books or articles about cat behaviour?

The second article on this link may be useful for example

http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/


In case the link doesnt work, this is Pamela Merritt's reply to a reader who had a question about cats who wouldnt use the iltter box after an incident.

"If our cat has an incident with the litter box, whether physical (pain and illness) or mental (being startled in the area,) they could be practicing avoidance even after the incident has been taken care of. We need to get them to see the litter box as their friend, again.

Here’s the steps to reboot our cat’s head:

Illustrate the issue. We need to let our cat know we understand that something had gone wrong. We’ve been to the vet, or fixed the rattling blinds, or cured the cat conflict that had them being jumped on their way to the litter.

Open the subject for discussion by visiting the litter and asking thing how things have been going, lately.

Demonstrate the solution. Show them that we’ve finished the antibiotics — Look, I’m throwing the pill bottle away! Mention that their friendship a former rival has improved — Mr. Whiskers isn’t being mean to you anymore!

Whatever the problem, you have taken steps.

“Fix” the litter box. We know the problem wasn’t with the litter box… unless it was. In any case, we have to change something about the litter box, so it is now a New Litter Setup. Choose a different, but similar, litter. Get a new box. Move it a bit.

This is tough, because we often feel that we had chosen the best setup already! But remember, once we have them using the box again, it’s easier to change it back.

Encourage them to visit. Get excited and lead them over to the litter box. If they don’t mind being carried there, try that. Call their name, and see if we can at least get them to stick their head around the corner.

Don’t despair if we don’t get much cooperation at first. We have piqued their interest, and they often investigate on their own after we’ve alerted them.

Create new routines. Make a big fuss over cleaning the box. If we were already fussy, go to the box and exclaim over how clean it is.

Make a point of cheerfully visiting the box, with a big show of inspecting everything. It’s because we care.

Remove anxiety. If our cat is still apprehensive, we need to address that. Try the tips in my post about reducing cat stress. They need to calm down so they can think, and realize things are better.

Now we and the cat can enjoy our new, and improved, litter box."

To work with the cats in situ would seem to be the ideal solution,  as the cats wouldnt then need to be separated.  They could try the litterbox in a different room - the bathroom or kitchen for example. 

I appreciate this isnt really your problem, even thought they may be trying to make it your problem, but I hope they would be willing to invest some time and effort into sorting this out, for their benefit and ultimately for their cats.  And bless you for caring about the outcome.  :hug:


Offline Miroslav

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Re: New cat....or no new cat?
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2013, 16:46:55 PM »
Minty is a concern for me, I don't want to upset her.

When i'm at work and my partner is at work, I think she gets lonely as the other person living with us doesn't give her any attention.

I don't think the other cat is stressed with another cat being around - they get on well, which concerns me for the other cat that would be losing it's friend.

Well, for me - I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to travel just yet, but i've also not had a holiday longer than 2 nights away for 20 years. The idea was to have a break - i'm not sure about long term.

I've lost alot in life - humans and animals - heartbreak is a regular occurence - I just want a break from it once Minty has gone - maybe I can hope eh.

They've had the cat for a couple of years. She came from a family who wanted to sell a litter. I know them very well and have known them for 20+ years. I don't notice much smell to be honest - they say she wees on the sofas overnight but poos in the tray. My thoughts were that it could be the other cat and also they shut the cats in the living room overnight (litter tray is in their living room in a hidden corner) so it could be a similar case to your dog situation!

The only pressure I feel is what I put on myself - I don't want the cat being given away and not knowing where it has gone. The cat knows me and sits on my lap when I go around, so it knows me.

Thanks for your reply and the advice - it is appreciated.

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: New cat....or no new cat?
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2013, 13:19:49 PM »



There's a lot to think of here, not least of which whether Minty (?) at 19 years will be happy at the thought of another, much younger, female cat entering her territorym and any introductions may have to be taken very slowly and steadily in order to make the integration work well.  On the plus side, the potential new cat isn't going to be a riotous kitten or hooligan teenager of 18 months or so, but she may still pose a threat in Minty's eyes.

The second is that the potential new cat may be toiletting inappropriately because she's stressed at being with another cat.  And it may simply pass the problem from one owner to another.  And of course, how would you feel if you had a cat that was toiletting inappropriately in the house?  How would Minty feel? 

With regard to what you would like to do, does that involve a lot of travelling, or activities which you wouldnt necessarily feel comfortable doing if you continued to own a cat or cats?   Can you make of list of the things you'd like to achieve and see if it would be compatible.  Do you hanker after excitement, or would it be beyond your comfort zone?  Would the excitement be exclusive to cat ownership?  They're just questions to ask yourself. 

As to heartache, well - having lost four family pets in the last two years, I reckon that if you're willing to accept the love and the trust you get from your animal companions, the price you pay for that is the inevitable heartache when they go.  But that's true of anyone you get close to in life, and whose companionship you enjoy.   You'd lead a fairly sterile life if you never hazarded your emotions in a loving relationship, whatever its nature, simply because one day it will end.    :hug: :hug:

It's such a tough decision to have to make, but try to make sure you dont feel guilt-tripped into taking on another cat.  You could perhaps explore with this person whether they've looked at having the cat fostered by a local rescue who would be better able to assess her needs.  How long have they had her, and where did she come from?  If she's had a number of homes in a fairly short life, that in itself could be stressful to her.  And how well do you know this person who's asking you to take on their problem cat?  If you've never noticed a smell at their house, is this really the reason they want to re-home?

I ask because I was once put in a (to me) untenable position years ago of being informed I was going to be given a pet someone else didnt want because it peed all over the house.  Naturally, I wasn't best thrilled, but for reasons I wont go into here, it was something over which I had little say.  Anyway, when we took the dog in, we had the last laugh, because it wasn't her who was peeing in the house - it was their other dog.  We went on to have two years of wonderful companionship from that gentle and elderly dog, and she at least knew love and affection in her last couple of years.

Good luck with whatever you decide, but please make sure whatever decision you make, you make it because you want to, and not because you feel you have to.   :hug:

Offline Miroslav

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New cat....or no new cat?
« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2013, 22:00:30 PM »
Hi

Someone I know has asked if I will take in a cat that they need to re-home as their landlord will kick them out if the cat won't stop peeing on their sofa as the landlord initially said no animals and they don't want the smell to be noticed (i've not noticed a smell when in their house) - they say they've tried everything. They also have another cat and think it upsetting that he's staying and at the same time losing his pal.

I've said I will take it if their is no other option.

Now, I had 5 cats, down to my last 1 who is 19 and female (this other cat is 3 and female).

I'm hoping they will get along ok and she will improve her behaviour - i've been doubting whether to take this new one on or not - after 19 years of cats I was thinking once my old girl passes on that I would take a break from cats and do more things in life, but taking this new cat will tie me down for longer - i'm also not sure if I want the heartbreak again - I don't lead a particularly exciting life anyway and wonder if I can survive without a feline in my life after so long having them. The cat knows me and when I visit always comes to me and sits on me etc so i'll know it's going somewhere where it will know the person and I know i'm responsible enough to love and look after her.

I'm of mixed emotions - i'd always wonder where she was and if I made the right choice letting her go, if I didn't take her.

Not sure this is the right place on this board, but I knew it was the right board to seek advice.

Thanks.


 


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