Brave new world...

[Bee]

Thanks so much for all the replies, particularly those making me feel better about taking in another cat, I can't help but have that feeling of guilt like I am replacing Bass, but we never could...
I think you are all right about waiting and also on concentrating on Drum right now... I hope the honeymoon won't be too traumatic and she should know the guys that stay here...

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

Oh Bee - I so feel for you.   

I echo what Emmy-lou, FC and Tiggys Mum have already said.

It may be less stressful all round to wait until you come back from your honeymoon before adopting another cat, and I also think another deaf cat may be the best way to go. 

Having said that, when our previous Dog lost her eyesight and her hearing around the same time, our then cats used to act as her eyes and ears and were very protective of her - it was a very touching and humbling process to watch as they would constantly nudge her, mark her and shadow her, tails up and always watchful for her.

It's still a very raw time for you just now though and everyone is different as to how soon is the right time to take on another cat.  The thing making it so difficult for you both right now, is the timing issue in view of your honeymoon.     And your honeymoon should be a joyful time for you, not one you wish away through anxiety.

[funkiechicken]

aww poor Drum 

I was in the same situation when my oldest lad died. Nuggie wasnt doing so well being left alone. I did also get another resue kitty after 8wks or so.....then another 

I wouldnt rush in at the moment. I would wait until you are back and assess it then. She will be clingy for a while but she will settle some - and like Helen said it might just all be too much change in such a short space of time.
Also maybe look to get a youngster (deaf or hearing) as it may be more accepting of being the closeness Drum wants? but i find that when you see the right kittie you will know x 

[Tiggy's Mum]

I agree with emmmy_lou, I do think it sounds like Drum would benefit from some feline company but things are still very raw for you and I don't think she will have been able to come to terms yet with the fact that her sister isn't here any more and to suddenly have a new cat and then you going away on your honeymoon might be a bit of overload for her  I think another deaf cat would probably be best, I've read that female-female combos are hardest to integrate so perhaps a boy around the same age or a bit younger?

I also agree with speaking with your local rescue (or maybe the one you got the girls from) as they will have seen situations like thisbefore and can advise you with more authority than our 'gut feelings'. Even if they don't have any suitable cats they can at least advise on what age/sex/personality/hearing or deaf etc they think would suit Drum best.

I guess ultimately only you can decide and if you do decide to adopt again before you go away please don't ever think it is disloyal to Bass or her memory by adopting so soon after losing her - quite the opposite really as she has opened up your heart and you would be giving another cat who has no-one to love and care for him/her the chance of a wonderful home, that in itself is a tribute to her memory.

I chose my boys a week after losing Tiggy and was worried that I wouldn't be able to love them like I loved her or that I would resent them for only being here because she had gone but I needn't have worried,  within hours of getting them home I was head over heels in love with them.

[emmmy_lou]

I think I would wait a bit. I think losing your baby, then the honeymoon, then a new cat may be even more upsetting for Drum?

I am sure whatever rescue you used would help find a cat suited to you all, and they of course would give you a settling in period.

I would definately look into another cat, but not just yet. Just my thoughts tho!

Emma 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I think you need to explain the situation to your volunteers and I would think that she will be much more settled in 6 weeks 

[Bee]

Drum and Bass always stay here when we aren't. My sister usually moves in and had offered to for the weekdays we are away on honeymoon as she works in London then she would go home at the weekends and our neighbours or cat care would come in. We also have another friend that might stay and share the load...
of course usually with both it would have been a pretty relaxed environment, nights aren't as quiet right now, and as they oth have to work it feels unfair to ask if it means sleepless nights.

We have never put her into a cattery and wouldn't want to.

It's a tough one... I wish we weren't going... Which is an awful thing to say about your honeymoon! 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

So many hard decisions 

I dont know what is the best tbh,,,,,where is drum going to be looked after while you are gone?

[Bee]

Hey all

It's been a week and a half since we lost Bass, although I will miss her everyday my grief is giving way to the recognition that she had a charmed life with us, the best we could give her, they both were and are spoilt beyond belief 

It was inevitable that my mind would turn to that empty space next to Drum at some point. We could never replace Bass but we do have so much love to share with another cat, and does, I suspect, Drum.

She's not been the worst she could be since Bass left us, but she has been a little more demanding and night times have been hard, she wakes 4 or 5 times a night, she wails a lot, but it doesn't feel like she doesn't understand, it just feels like she is frustrated she isn't there with her, like she is lonely... We are both getting up periodically following her about the house, after wandering through the rooms with her she settles again for another couple of hours... In the day she seems ok, but is more demanding of OHs time (home worker) she plays on her own then gets bored and wants to play with him... Her and Bass were nearly always in the same room and there was a fair bit of pouncing... They also ALWAYS washed each other after eating... I think she misses these things...

Question is, would she ever want them from another cat, not only was Bass her litter mate, she was also deaf too, it was like they had their own language. I feel like feline company would be good for her, but would hate to make the wrong decision.

To add to it all, we are getting married in 6 weeks and going on honeymoon. What was an exciting prospect now fills me with dread at her being alone for 2 whole weeks... I have friends that have offered to stay but with her current sleeping patterns I just don't think that would be fair....

I am torn as to whether to just jump in there and try getting her a friend now with 6 weeks to work on that or not... Is it too early? If I do, does my new cat need to be younger or older, can they be a hearing cat?

I know there is no right answer here... I just needed to put it out there I guess...