My poor old cat - when should I let her go?

[Shiroi-Neko]

Sorry to hear of your loss  R.I.P Rosie

[Tigerlily (Allison)]

So sorry for your loss Jo 

RIP Rosie.

[Stuart]

 

[Dawn F]

being able to say she had a good life is our biggest reward I think 

[maddercow]

Well is it all over and Rosie is buried in the back garden next to Holly who we lost last year to CRF aged 17.  It was the saddest thing but I don't regret letting her go as I feel she was really struggling and probably in pain and discomfort. She did have a pretty nice cushy comfortable life and that makes me feel better.

I wasn't there at the time as I am just too pathetic but my Mum was and it was very easy and the vet Emma is the sweetest person so I am sure it was as dignified and as painless as possible. There was nothing of her the poor soul, without the breath that was holding her up she was just skin and bones but a very tough little character she was, she wasn't expected to make old bones as she was born with a few health problems but she battled them out as best she could.

My two younger cats have been looking for her but since they were both rather in awe and a little scared of her I am expecting a battle to be top cat, my money is on Izzy, she is a feisty little thing and Cash is just too laid back and soft to be bothered about who is in charge but we shall see.

Thank you all for your replies, support and lovely poems. It really helped me.

[souffle]

I'm so very sorry. I know her path was gentle and you walked a little way with her x

My friend wrote this

I Received My Wings Today

I heard we all get wings, they come at different times.
Some receive when they are young, others wait in line.
I felt mine were coming to me and was waiting for a sign.
I was asked what I wanted, I knew it was my time.
So I asked if I could have them, those special wings of mine.
I heard her say; of course you can, I know it is your time.
And so she helped me into them, they really are divine.
I hope that you can see them, these gorgeous wings of mine.

Written by suga 2/2/2011 (c)

[AllShookUp]

  R.I.P little one 

[bunglycat]

So sorry to hear about Rosie -its the hardest thing to do for us, even though for them its the kindest .
 

[JackSpratt]

It's so hard, letting them go. RIP Rosie.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

So very sorry to hear about Rosie 

RIP Rosie, play hard on the Bridge

[cazzer]

sorry to hear about Rosie  x

[Stuart]

I'm So sorry, you have done the right thing, and let her go with Dignity
 

[Michelle (furbabystar)]

So sorry to hear this -

Hope Rosie crossed over peacefully xx

[Philip]

I am so sorry to hear this.

RIP litttle one.

Take care. 

[clarenmax]

I'm sorry sweetie 

[Yvonne]

So very sorry to hear this

RIP Rosie

 

[Jiji]

So sorry hear the sad news 

[Tiggy's Mum]

Very sorry to hear this  Hope she goes quickly and peacefully 

I found this poem very emotional but comforting at the same time. I still can't read to the end without crying but it really is so true 

The Greatest Gift

I always knew this time would come,
From the very instant our eyes first met.
How I loved you then! How I love you now!
I made a promise then, and I will keep that promise now...
You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal;
You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone.

It is for me alone to make this decision,
The price for the bright joy and pure laughter
You brought me during the time we shared.
I am the only one who can decide when it is time.
When my hope dies, and my fear rides high,
Just when I need you most, I must let you go.

It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready
For without your guidance, I will not know
When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger
My sorrow and my selfish heart aside
And give you this last gift, this greatest gift.
Your eyes will speak to mine, and I will know.

The pain of this moment is excruciating.
Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow.
And my heart drowns in a pool of grief.
For you have spoken and I have listened,
And unlike other decisions I have made
This one brings no relief...no comfort...no peace.

For if there´s one thing you´ve taught me,
If there´s only one thing I´ve learned...
Unconditional love has a condition after all,
I must be willing to let you go, when you speak to me
I must be willing to help you go, if you cannot go alone.
And I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.

Go easily now, go quickly now,
Do not linger here, it is time for you to leave.
Go find your strength, go find your youth.
Go find the ones who've gone before you.
You are free to leave me now, free to let your spirit soar
Rest easy now, your pain will soon be gone.

I pray I will find comfort in my memories...
In the dark and lonely days ahead.
I cannot say I will not miss you, I cannot say I will not cry.
For only my tears can heal my broken heart.
But, I promise you this; as long as I live,
You will live, alive in my mind, forever in my heart.

So I give you this last gift, all I have left to give,
And this will be my greatest gift...sending you away.
It is the measure of my unconditional love...
For only the greatest love can say,
"Good-bye, go find the bridge, we'll meet again,
Loving you has been the greatest gift of all."

Forever and Always... Until Rainbow bridge....

[madamcat (Edd)]

So sorry - so hard but it is the final act of kindest you can do for your girlie

Run free Rosie 

[maddercow]

Well we have made the sad decision to call the vet out to put our Rosie to sleep today. 

She is SO thin, she won't eat even from my fingers now and as a result she has no energy. She seems quite miserable these last few days and I really think it is time
now as it is painful to watch her. She can make it to the loo still but I looked into her eyes last night and just saw that she has had enough.

Its a horrible decision to have to make and I am desperately sad but I really feel that she is not going to get any better now and at 18 I don't want to put her through
more antibiotics, surgery or force feeding and the vet that we saw last time was very much of the same opinion.

Thank you for your replies last time, it helped alot and is always helpful to hear other people's stories and opinions.

 

[bunglycat]

Great she is doing so well -would love to see a picture of her.

Sophie has also got antibitics to see how her mouth is on them as he mentioned not doing the anasethtic on her unless it was essential -she is almost 17 .
She does seem a lot better too.

10lbs isnt too bad -i have no scales and dread to think what Winston weighs    probably around 16 lbs !

[Philip]

I'm really pleased she is doing so well at the moment.

Please keep us updated. 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

So pleased that Rosie is doing well, thats so great 

10 pounds ummmmmmmmm need it in kilos lol, about high 4 kilos I think and doesnt sound too heavy to me 

[maddercow]

Hi, thank you for asking after Rosie!

She is quite improved I am happy to say.  She has been taking the antibiotics really well (in custard I'm afraid as its the only food she doesn't get bored of halfway
through so at least I know she is taking the whole dose) and seems so much more comfortable. She has started her chirruping and purring again and eating loads more,
she's even back to eating kibble again after a week being totally off it so that is a great sign.

It is so good to see her interested in what is going on again, the two youngsters were playing with their valerian bags the other evening & she marched out of her bed
to see what they were up to, they both scarpered while she inspected the toys & then sat on them.  Also she is enjoying having her brush again, she had been right off
that for a week and as a result was looking decidedly scruffy (she is a Persian and can get very tatty if she isn't groomed).

I am not sure how long she can take the antirobe for, we're back the the vets for a check up tomorrow and I am hoping they will find she has put weight on. My
attempts at weighing her haven't been terribly successful as she keeps wandering off when I pop her on the food scales & I can't weigh us both on our antique
bathroom scales as they are not accurate enough (but I do know that My boycat Cash weighs 10lbs... is that too heavy?  He looks fantastic on it though!)

Hopefully she can take it for another week & then we can decide if she's up to an anaesthetic or if we will just keep her comfortable.  I will let you know how we get
on.

Thank you all for your replies, it has been very comforting.

X


 

[Yvonne]

Hi Jo

   to the forum

How is Rosie doing now, do you feel there is any improvement?

[bunglycat]

I have just checked Sophies teeth again today and she actually is going to the vets on Monday now as her gums look sore and probably she needs a dental -she as i said is just coming up to 17 years.

[fluffybunny]

Hi Jo - my Sooty had a dental when he was about 18.5 because it got to the point where it was attempt the dental or pts so we thought it was worth a go.  He had 2 weeks of antirobe beforehand to try and settle out the gum infections etc.  He actually had the dental a day late as the pre-op bloods on the day showed that his liver levels were a little (but not unduly) elevated so she put him on a drip overnight to make sure he was well hydrated ready for the op.  She used propofol as the anaesthetic - don't know if that's still the best thing, this was a few years ago - and made sure he was on a drip throughout.  The op went really smoothly and he was actually a different cat after it, we hadn't realised how much his teeth had been bothering him until after then.  I would suggest maybe booking her in but seeing what the pre-op bloods say before deciding whether it's worth going ahead with the dental - just in case they give an indication that the other signs you are seeing are due to failing organs, for instance. 

This op gave Sooty another 18 months before he finally left us    With hindsight though, I have to say I think we kept him going for too long.  We were about to move house and everything was in chaos and he was regularly vomiting and struggling to keep much food down and spent a lot of time under the bed.  We thought that it was just the stress and upset of the move, but looking back, I think it was probably that he was feeling poorly.  We kept him going for about another 6 weeks until we had moved and then he collapsed one morning; blood tests showed his liver and kidneys were failing so we said goodbye.  Looking back, I think I should have seen those signs of failing quality of life earlier, although it's far from easy as you don't want to do it too early, but you don't want to do it too late either.  It was actually about 2 years that I had been having the 'is it the right time' conversation with my vet, and although I don't think we kept him going for far too long, I do wish that I'd taken the decision some weeks earlier when he had been having a few issues with constipation and vomiting. 

Good luck with Rosie, I'm sure you'll make the right decisions for her xx

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

Sorry I can't offer any practical advice as I've never been in this position (I have only had one cat go to rainbow bridge and he went suddenly ) but I think in your heart of hearts you'll know when it's time 

[JackSpratt]

  Sorry, I'm not very good with threads like this. Hope Rosie improves - I can't offer advice on cats of 18 going under anaesthetic as it's not something I've dealt with but a lot of people on here will be able to offer you advice.

[bunglycat]

Sophie had a anasethtic at 16 to have a lump removed off her side that had started to turn cancerous -i was worried because of her age too -that as a year ago and she is fine .
She eats well, but is still quite thin, but she has never been a "fat" cat -unlike Winston

Glas she is eating more -i am sure she will improve with the tablets and you have a lot more time left with her 

[Stuart]

18 year old Persian 
I recently lost My Persian Princess Olivia, she was only 6-3/4 

you know your cat better than anyone else, It's strange, but I've always felt that they seem
to let you know when they have had enough, as a rule - as long as they have a good quality of
life and are happy in themselves = it is not the time to let go
the teeth problem may have been compounding the lack of appetite, fingers crossed she continues to improve
 

[maddercow]

Hi all,

Rosie went to vet last night and she does have dreadful tooth problems and I feel really
bad as I should have had her checked out for this, they were ok when she last went to the vets but I should have kept an eye on them so that was a hard lesson to learn.

They removed some tartar and gave me 10 days of antirobe. She was pretty happy to be back and ate lots more than she has been and has taken two of the capsules mixed in food so I hope she'll start to feel more comfortable soon.

The vet I saw is by nature rather a pessimistic little thing so although she painted quite a bleak picture if Rosie puts some weight on they may try a bit of dentail work under sedation or anaesthetic although I am rather scared about that. Still, if the alternative is that poor Rose
gets thinner and thinner & we have to have her PTS eventually anyway maybe it will be worth the risk.

Phillip... how old was your Dephi when she had her anaesthetic?

[Philip]

My Delphi had a general anaesthetic as an oldie and she did well. They did put up an IV drip and she had pain relief.

She was as bright as a button when I took her home.

[Janeyk]

Hi  regarding the teeth, most of my oldies over the years have had either all, or most of their teeth removed.  It's awful for them suffering with teeth beside being painful they cause tummy and other problems, but if it's not possible to anaethetise your girl then the vet can prescribe some very good antibiotics such as Antirobe which are good for teeth infections.  My old boy has lots of afflictions bless him, hyperthyroidism, hypertension etc and he had most of his teeth removed but they had to be quick and he was on a drip.  They were unable to take them all so the few he has left he gets the abs for periodically which helps. 
Best of luck at the vets and give your girl a gentle snuggle from me please 

[maddercow]

Thank you all very much for your replies.

Rosie seems much brighter today in fact, she's been to both litter trays (misssed again but she tried!) & had a bit of food and a drink. She let me brush her
and trim her toenails last night as well which is more tha she has let me in the last week.
 
I think there is definitely something wrong with her teeth or gums so am taking her to the vet this evening and hopefully they will be able to do something to
make her more comfortable.

She won't let me look in her mouth & what few teeth she has left are VERY sharp so to preserve my fingers I didn't probe any further.

What is worrying me now though is if they need to anasthetise her she may not come out of it as she is so old & frail..... but then if her teeth aren't fixed
she's going to be miserable anyway so I suppose nothing ventured nothing gained there.

Thank you again for your kind thoughts & I will let you know what transpires at the vets.

XXX

[lornab]

As you asked, I'll bore you with my experiences 
I have lost two very elderley cats who were sisters (aged 20) quite recently and in very different circumstances, the two of them loved to go outside and would shout very loudly if we tried to keep them inside (they were Birman crosses and boy could they shout!).
The girls used to sleep in our cellar where they had beds under a radiator and it was very convenient to keep the litter trays and food down there, they also had a catflap so they could come and go as they wished, in the last few months Teycha struggled with the stairs and deteriorated in a similar way to what you describe, at the end she clearly wanted to be with us as when we carried her downstairs one night she strugged back up again within a few minutes, she hated going in the car and we knew she wouldn't make it to the vets if we attempted it, in the end she slipped away on our sofa with the family around her, -very sad for us to watch, but much kinder on her.
Her sister Shmoney lived a further 10 months and sadly died while we were on holiday, a few weeks before her 21st birthday, she was active till the very end, was still eating and drinking well, using her tray and insisting on going outside, attempts to confine her just made her distressed and sadly she was hit by the ice cream van a few minutes before our pet sitters arrived to feed her and had to be pts at the vets.
I still feel bad about how she went and regret not keeping her inside, but she hated the cattery and also hated being shut up inside, my consolation is that at least she spent her last days on her terms.

I think what i'm trying to say is every cat is different, you are her Mum and you will know what is best for her when it comes to it  .
Based on my experiences with hindsight it might be a good idea to find out in advance if your vet would be prepared to come out to your home to pts rather than subject her to the distress of a journey in the car.
Sorry to blather on, but I hope it helps.
Lorna x

[bunglycat]

I agree too.  I think its not time just yet.

I have a 17yr old persian ,she is also quite thin but eats quite well still, a bit wobbly at times on her legs and spends most of the day sleeping -she also yowls a bit at times for no apparant reason .
I still give her a gentle groom , clean her eyes etc and she is doing ok .

[souffle]

I agree with the others.
You will know in your heart when the time has come. It is a great gift to know and to time it just right. One day she will look at you in a certain way or something will happen and you will see it in her eyes that she wants help to cross the bridge.
Treasure these twilight times. We have often found that old animals seem to be given a little bright, happy time to say their goodbyes and then they ask you.
No decision made from love is ever wrong so when you decide it will be the right time.
I hope she stays comfy and happy in her content sounding way for a wee while yet.
x

[Philip]

I agree with the others that it isn't quite time. She will tell you.

I have found with my cats in the past that it was time when:

They hid away and didn't want to be fussed or touched. If I did try and fuss them they would move away and hide somewhere else.

They go off all food completely. Worth a vet visit to check for dental problems.

Some of my cats have become incontinent. being very clean creatures this was a sign for me as they appearred distressed.

Wide pupils may mean the cat is in pain, but this needs to be taken in context of the individual cat.

It sounds like things are slowing down and she is getting closer to the time (I'm sorry to say that).

You know her the best and I am sure you will do the best for her and will know.

The first time I went through this I left it too long, but it is such a difficult thing to do.

My heart goes out to you as I lost one of my Ragdolls last week so I know how you feel.

Take care.

[Angiew]

I agree with Dawn. It doesn't sound as though she is ready.

If she appears to be in pain or goes off her back legs then that might be time. A vet check is worthwhile in case there is something like bad teeth causing the weight loss and custard eating.