Am I being harsh/selfish? (cats on beds)

[Bonkers Mad!!!]

the only room my cats are shut out of is my kids room.  i don't have a door on my bedroom and i usually have between 4 and 7 cats on the bed, the rest prefer to sleep in the kitchen (preferably on some clean washing  ).  the dogs are more of a problem for me because they get in and out of the covers all night.  i wouldnt want to subject somebody else to a night in my bed, the dogs irritate me sometimes but shutting them out would be worse.  fortunately i don't live with my other half and i always spend the weekends at his.  not because he doesnt like cats or dogs but because i cant be bothered to tidy up so he can come here  .  no man will ever come before my cats 

[Mollys Slave]

It's a very personal thing - Molly (my current cat) is the only cat in the house at the moment but if she doesn't follow me up to bed, I feel slighted and actually go back downastairsand bring her up      All my cats I've had over 25 years have all slept with me,  and any partners I've had that I shared a bed with,  have been cat lovers and have never had any problems with them. 

Indeed, it actually proved quite amusing at times when regardless of other *ahem* uses for beds (!!!!!), the moggies were not for moving. PMSL   

[**TINA**]

Our 3 have run of the house. Bedtime they follow me up the stairs. Pod is like a bedtime wig, i have a pillow up against the head board for his back and have my head on the edge of mine
Pod is very comphy, and yes i do get kicked in the head or my hair pulled when he circles & padding.
Flora sometimes sleeps at my feet. Rolo comes in disturbs Flora so she is then putting her cold nose on mine.
Then its time for rolo to come & lie down after loads of padding..... not often i sleep right thru.

 

Other half dont have a say in the situation LOL, but he loves them like me, and yes he has slept in the spare bedroom rather than disturb me & my babies 

[Michelle (furbabystar)]

All 10 of ours are allowed to sleep on the bed if they want ......
we never have a clear bed 

[Karon]

Liz, that is brilliant! II keep telling OH that we need another King Size bed, to put beside the current one so the cats have plenty of room.  We'd still end up clinging to the edge of it though.

Love the picture that KrazyKatLady put up, too, that's about right for us

[Millys Mum]

At the moment my lot can come and go from my room as they wish, when i was normal and had the one i use to try for a cat free room but having a folding door make it difficult, taffy used to bust his way through and ran his claw down another one Lola has split several so i gave up   
The odd time theres no cat on the bed i cant sleep as iv got used to them pinning me down, moving upstairs will awkward, i want a hole cut in the door so they can get in without leaving the door open. Lola is inclined to destroy if she wants to see me and cant 

[Sabrina (Auferstehen)]

We don't have central heating and the bedroom has a gas radiator so we have to let the cats in, but I wouldh't have it any other way.

They love sleeping in the bed with us when it's cold. Mind you Lirael & Smoke can't see each other under the covers or they'll start playing but other than that they're fine.

Gizmo when we first got him was banned from the bedroom as he didn't stop moving and drove us nuts, that only lasted about a week though.

[Leanne]

When we first got Jess he was allowed in the bedroom at night but never seemed too bothered, before we became full cat slaves we decided to shut him out the bedroom, we did this for about a year, but had no idea it was stressing him out.

Now both boys are allowed in the bedroom, Milo often sleeps on or in bed with us, Jess usually sleeps under the bed. The do wake us up early and I've learnt to live with it but at weekends we take it in turns to get up and feed them at 5:30 and then come back to bed. Ignoring them just doesn't work.

We've been talking about shutting them out again as my allergies are quite bad at the moment, but to be honest I don't want too and I think it'll cause trouble, Milo will just scratch and meow at the door.

[Kay and Penny]

with a multi-fuel stove burning all night in the lounge, and no heating in the bedroom, I find I can leave my bedroom door open without being invaded

even the dogged Tosker deserts me around 3am

[Liz]

Not mad stops OH stealing the duvet

Also I had Sweetie long before him and she is in charge so we have now issues here!

[KrazyKatLady]

This is how our lot need a Superkingsize bed!

ha ha!!!!  that's even better than the lols cats pic!!! awesome, I don't feel quite as mad now for having all mine in with me x

[Debsymiller (Rufus' mum)]

Ours are shut out at night as otherwise OH doesn't get any sleep as I can sleep through trhe jumping on the head and batting of the nose but he can't and is woken at least every 20 mins through the night by Oscar (cheeky boy!) who just doesn't settle. What happens is, I go to bed early and so the cats come up with me and then filter off as I fall asleep (I'm not as much fun out sparko!) and then OH shuts the door when he comes up. They curl up together are are in the routine now so has never cause any problems. On the odd occasion that OH is away for a night, I leave the door open for them but they tend to filter off throughout the night and sleep together anyway as that's what they have always done.
I guess it depends on how much you get woken up by them really... I know if it wasn't for Oscar being a fidgit-pants and point blank refusing to let us sleep, they would probably have free reign but neither of us can function on such little sleep so it is how it is.
Difficult situation for you though hun xx

[Kirst]

None of ours sleep on the beds , never have. Whenever we try to let they they are not interested , and in my job I can't afford to be sleep deprived

[Liz]

This is how our lot need a Superkingsize bed!

[Stuart]

Hamish and Misty had the run of the house as has Olivia,  sleeping on the bed too 
I don't think it would feel right if I could move my legs   

Like Liz says, you need someone to anchor the duvet down   

[Claire_smc]

I'm currently going the other way and considering letting Pepsi sleep in our room as she's previously been confined to the downstairs on a night. OH is a bit reluctant but I think we'll give it a few nights and see how it goes. When I was cat sitting for my friend's furbabe I loved having him sleeping on the bed with me, but I woke up with a horrible allergic reaction every morning  But then again I was pretty allergic to him in general and not at all with Pepsi, so will just see what happens.

[KrazyKatLady]

All my cats are allowed on the bed if they want, luckily I am very single! But if I do ever have company of an evening   the door gets shut and they go sleep on my sons bed as he's not there to disturb!!!

[Liz]

Ours are allowed to sleep on the bed - we sleep with about 10 to 12 most nights - more if its really cold   We also have about 10 sleeping elsewhere in the bedroom - on the units, the chairs and on top of the wardrobe or on the blanket box at the end of the bed and to be honest on work days we wake them up most mornings and at teh wekend w get a lie in till about 9am as we are up at 05.30am through the week its nice to have a long lie!

The rest of the Clan sleep downstairs and Sky and Sunny are in their crates - both having cats in beds sleeping on top of them!

I have to say I hate going to places and having a bed all to myself - I can't sleep as there is noone to anchor the duvet!

As ours claim the bed for more hours than we do then I think its fair to say we share their bed!

Sad to say I can tell who is getting on and off the bed by their landing patterns and we have more damage if we ever try to shut a door so they are all wedged open

[KrazyKatLady]

This is going to be me in a few years!!!

[zoe (tiggy + pipins mum)]

Well when we just had tiggy and pippin they used to sleep in the bedroom with us if they wanted too but since having 4 furbabes sadly to say they have been shut out  

They all have naughty habbits and i am a extremly light sleeper and was spending most of the night awake as i swear they all gang up on me and see who can keep me awake the longest!  they never harrass Oh

Tiggy paws at your eyes whilst your asleep and if you don't give her attention she gets her claws out  
Pippin licks ANY bare skin youve got
Sooty just harrases you all night by giving you headrubs then when you ignore him he bites your chin!  
and patch is a little angel and just curles up between me and Oh  

They are now totally used to this and only sooty starts crying at the door if i ignore my alarm at 6 and at weekends when i don't get up so earl to feed him,

On odd weekends they do come in and i have no problem when i shut them back out again  

[Bryony84]

If they were waking him in the middle of the night (or if I had 40 like lesley and wouldn't be able to breathe let alone sleep with them on the bed!) then I would probably consider it, but given that he's only bothered about his lie ins getting interrupted, its not really affecting his quality of life.

They are very well behaved during the night and my fidgeting is more likely to wake him up. Trouble is they have good body clocks and expect someone to be feeding them by 8am or the head trampling/nose biting commenses. I may suggest that he sets the cat feeder on friday/saturday night but then he can clean it as its a bit of a pain!

[Kay and Penny]

I have Tosker at the foot of my bed every night, and I know he's only there in the hope I'll call him for some fuss

but I don't have an OH, and if I did, and he was working, and the cats were keeping him awake, then I would put his needs before the cats

reluctantly, though

[Karon]

I thought you were going to ask if you were being harsh and weren't letting the cats on the bed!!

No, I think you're being perfectly reasonable.  Cats don't understand the idea of "weekends" or a lie in and it will only confuse them.  If I tried it with ours they'd have the door down anyway.  OH initially said no cats in the bedroom at night when Gomez and Morticia were kittens - that lasted about 30 seconds after we closed the bedroom door!  Then not on the bed - he picked them up and put them on the bed after about another 30 seconds!

Ours have always slept where they like, the only rule I have is the one who leaks is only allowed on the bed when it's covered in its waterproof cover, or he can sleep at the foot of the bed which always has a cover on it.   

[Zenith (Liz)]

Mine are allowed to sleep in our room as they like but on the rare occasions i've shut the door they just open it and thats a noisier process than them settling on bed.

Mia sleeps at my feet but nova has to be resting on upper arms before he'll settle for the night lol

[snarf]

i love it when one of mine sleeps on the bed ... but they are shut out when the OH stays. i genuinely dont believe it upsets them as they dont always sleep on the bad- in fact they only both do when its uber cold or ive been away overnight and spare cat feels the need to sit on me to make sure i cant get away without feeding her   so its usually one or neither and i do miss them when its neither but they are obviously happy sleeping elsewhere. they dont cry to be let in when the doors shut, maybe alittle pawing/scratching but only for a minute or so immediately after the door is shut (they are both in the habit of escorting me to bed if theyre awake when i go) then they take themselves off somewhere else. the first few times lucifer miaowed but he got the idea quickly that that particular door doesnt open on command. theyve also learnt that the curtain over the back door means that the outdoors is shut and no amount of complaints change that. curtain pulled back = open on command to the outdoors.  i dont think they feel confused or unloved 

[tab]

When I got Mogs she was always shut out at noght but had the bed during the day. I got ill and she started to panic that I wasnt getting up and howl and scratch the door so I finally left the door open. She always slept on the settee and then came in in the morning and sat with me until i woke. When Amber moved in Mogs taught her that as well but when Mogs was ill and I shut Amber out I got no sleep at all. She screeched and flung herself at the door until I got up so I gave in. Now she sleeps under my bed and when I wake comes up for a cuddle.
I guess its a case of what you can live with. Personally if cat was there before OH I would be very tempted to say hard luck but maybe thats why Im singe 
love
Tab

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

My boys sometimes drive me mad in the bedroom at night but I love having them in there despite it.  I don't think I could sleep without Jaffa on his bottle beside me and I feel honoured when Mosi snuggles up beside me.   When I have both of them with me I am too hot and end up lying in the middle of the bed as though I'm in a strait jacket and I struggle to get to sleep.  But I still wouldn't have it any other way    I did shut Jaffa and his brother Magpie out of the bedroom at night to begin with though and didn't feel guilty.  They knew their routine and were used to it.

[Mark]

Mine go where they like. I consider it an honour if one or more sleeps on the bed. Willow always slept on the bed and didn't like the others being there although Clapton often did as well. Just lately, they have chosen not to. The secret is having 2 rads on full in the dining room 24/7 

[Skiddaw]

I don't think it would be fair to stop them once they're used to it. I will say that The Munchkin isn't allowed in the bedroom at night mainly because OH is a light sleeper and it doesn't take much to wake him. However, we've always had that routine with him (and with previous cat) so he's used to it- he has a special night time 'paddy-shawl' and a big cushion to sleep on at night and usually comes running when the paddy-shawl makes its appearance so I really don't think it bothers him (he sleeps wherever he likes during the day). Mind you, he usually comes in with me if OH is away!

[Den]

Either they should be allowed in all the time or banned all the time. It'll just be too confusing otherwise. Personally I've grown to love having a cat sleeping on the bed and wouldn't have it any other way - unless the cat didn't want to sleep there. Memphis loves to because he likes to spend as much time with me as possible ... So I'd feel cruel denying him me. He used to be a brat, but I just ignored him and he soon calmed down and is no trouble. He never wakes me up, in fact it's usually the other way around.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Two of my cats now sleep on the bed when they want. Does drive me crazy sometimes but thats cats and I would say the same as you 

[Feline Costumier]

I have to say if I was in the same position I'd be saying the same as you. They might drive me potty, correction, Dave might drive me potty with all his shenanigans but I just couldn't shut them out. Besides, all I'd get is crying and scratching at the door if I tried so would likely get less sleep if I did try to shut him out.

Cats having free access to all rooms at all times (unless decorating or summink) is the way it will always be and anyone else coming into my home will just have to deal with it!

[LesleyW]

I'm afraid to admit that mine are shut out of the bedroom  ,  but having 40 of them on the bed might make it impossible to sleep. , especially when all Bailey does is suck the bedding under your face and Forest just dribbles on you.   Mike is away during the week at the moment so then McLaren, my BSH, does come and join me but when Mike is home he doesn't seem to want to come in anyway.

Saying that, Mike was home last night and at approx 1.30am I realised there was a cat sniffing my nose.  Someone had managed to push the door open and I found about 5 of them wandering around the bedroom.  I shooed them without Mike waking up.  They got their own back by breaking into the study and trashing the place.

[Baby British]

Marley always sleeps on our bed. At the momeny Layla is confined to the kitchen overnight as at only 5 months and still very much in the kitten phase it does Marley good to have a break from her! My OH wasn't a cat person at all when we met but having Marley converted him 100%. These days the OH is the first to pet Marley when he starts pawing at us in the morning and meowing his orders for us to wake up. I'd miss this little ritual but thankfully can't see Marley being booted off our bed any time soon. In answer to your question about being selfish - absolutely not, gimme a cat sharing my bed over a bloke any day 

[Lottie (Team Svartalfheim's)]

Mine always used to sleep on the bed when I was in my flat at uni but when I moved up to Dave's house Bilbo used to drive him demented bouncing on him and licking his face so they were then banned from the bedroom.

[Bryony84]

I thought that too about it confusing them. We have a rather uncomfortable sofa bed thing in the spare room so that is his other option if he doesn't want to sleep with me and the cats!! Theres only 2 of them - makes me wonder what he'll be like when we've got our own house rather than the flat and our furry family grows a bit!

[Fire Fox]

I've always had cats sleep on my bed too and wouldn't have it any other way. I don't see how it would be possible to shut the cats out on the weekends only, I would have thought that would be very confusing for them. Is OH a permanent fixture in your life? 

[Bryony84]

Yesterday OH suggested shutting the cats out of the bedroom so that they can't get on the bed in the night. I rather abruptly told him that if he didn't want cats on the bed, he should find somewhere else to sleep.

He then suggested a compromise of only shutting them out on weekends, needless to say, my response didn't change.

Admittedly Amber does have a nasty habit of standing on his head in the mornings and waking him up and Chilli will sometimes nibble on our noses if she's hungry and no-ones awake, but I've always had cats sleeping on my bes and thought it was one of the best parts of owning cats.

Am I being selfish in not compromising on this one?