My dear friends,
Now we all have heard about dog far.....uhh, gas...
Well, my dear dog Lilly can far....uhhh, pass gas up a storm to the point where we usually have to evacuate the house, call in the HazMat team and the fire department, and it's a real mess, especially when the media is involved. It's embarrassing to be the subject of major environmental issues about CO2 and greenhouse gasses, but we have learned to deal with that and we have a good lawyer and a healthy homeowner's insurance policy.
But nothing could prepare us for a Pookie fart. Now I say fart. You will see why.
Recently my husband and I were lying in bed (with our pajamas on, watching TV ONLY, not doing anything...get your minds out of the gutter!!) when our precious Pookie jumped up on the bed and snuggled in between us, purring and kneading as she always does. We began petting her and talking to her as we always do, sweetly, telling her how perfect she is, how sweet, how dear to us...you know, how you speak to your dear pets.
She purred away, and then dropped a bomb.
She farted. Bigtime.
Now we are always prepared for a dog fart, which isn't uncommon here at all. BUT -- a Pookie fart was unbelievable.
It registered an 8.2 on the Richter scale, and it registered at NORAD to the point where the entire Northern Hemisphere was put on a Stage One alert.
This was so loud our eardrums burst and several windows blew out.
The smell came quickly afterwards. You really don't want to know about that. Suffice to say we had sinus issues for a week.
The moral to this is -- dogs fart. Cats melt drywall, plaster, brick, and tile.
We finally convinced the EPA that we were not building bombs in the garage.
The neighbors are still complaining.
Pardon me, someone is calling and complaining of melted roof shingles. I'll be back later.
Purrs,
Pook
