Had such a terrible day

Had convinced myself it was time to let her go.....screamed, cried and was sick (thats me not issey) Took loads of photos
Phoned my Mum to take us to the vets
Get to vets, had a long chat and my vet (and my mum) both felt she isnt quite ready to go ....although my vet has told me 100% that she is now dieing but he doesnt think she is suffering. He says she is gently fading away.
What I want more than anything now is for her to die here at home
But I also now know that I will be strong enough to PTS if it comes to it
So this is it........
My Brother and Sister inlaw have just been round to see her and say their goodbyes
Just one last thing,
She has a few bald patches on her from the Op and from being shaved to be scanned and blood tests etc, these have never grown back due to the Chemo.
I had asked my vet a few weeks ago if they would even grow back as i didnt want her dieing looking a mess - he said probably not
Today I noticed the fur is growing

on all of the patches.....