Advice for newbie with first rescue cat.

[Kittybabe (Ruth)]

Indeed, 2" is very generous  Lexy has 7 beds in the house, including the very large one in my bedroom. She refuses to sleep with me unless I'm sick in bed but when I'm not there, I have to ask permission to get into bed. Well, what else am I meant to do? She's claimed everything in house as hers, I'm lucky I still have a key to the front door! 

[Christine (Blip)]

Sam is right, you must cram yourself (and OH) into the 2 inch gap provided 

And be grateful they are being so generous 

[Tiggy's Mum]

Yup, they seem to be getting along fine.

Now how do I go about being allowed to get into my own bed??????

Excuse me  This is a cat forum you know, what a ridiculous question - it's obviously their bed, not yours   Sam is right, you must cram yourself (and OH) into the 2 inch gap provided 

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

Great news that the boys are getting on.  They certianly look happy on "their" bed! 

Now I'm sure if you ask very nicely they'll do the same as my gang and let you have approx 2" on the side of the double bed! 

[spinningfishwife]

Good news at least you have the main thing you wanted and thats a pal for Oliver 

Yup, they seem to be getting along fine.

Now how do I go about being allowed to get into my own bed??????

[Millys Mum]

Good news at least you have the main thing you wanted and thats a pal for Oliver 

[Dawn F]

glad things are moving along - as far as the yarn goes I am always impressed by people are can do stuff like this, I've never even mastered threading the sewing machine!

[Tiggy's Mum]

Sounds like things are moving in the right direction  I'm glad Oliver and Paws seem to be getting on well too 

[spinningfishwife]

Day 11 Progress Report.

Well, things continue to improve. Paws is starting to put on a bit of weight and his coat is looking positively glossy. He still eats anything that's put down and both sets of bowls are polished clean in the morning. I'm taking the opportunity to get rid of all the flavours of cat food that Oliver doesn't like, lol. Oliver doesn't mind Paws eating from his bowl but he won't go near Paws's bowl...possibly because there's never anything in it. Oliver isn't going hungry though, I make sure of that. Because he's still small he gets an extra meal or two during the day when Paws is asleep.

On the socialising front...well, Paws and Oilver do much of their socialising during the night, but I stay up late and can see them charging up and down the hallway after each other. They were also up on our bed this morning...I had gone out very early but on return Hubby told me that both Oliver and Paws had been playing the "Kill the toes" game with him, and while Paws didn't want my Hubby to actually look at him he was perfectly happy to leap all over the bed on top of Hubby's duvet. I've yet to get a purr out of Paws but he lets me stroke him and scratch his ears, and of course there's the despised combings. I think I must have taking half the volume of his coat out in loose hair, dirt and matts over the last ten days and he's looking a lot better for it.

My kids are a bit sad with him....they're used to cats they can talk to and play with and who will come up to them for pets, but hopefully that will come. In the meanwhile they've still got young Oliver to fuss over, after all. One thing I have noticed though is that Oliver is permenantly knackered because he's trying to stay up all night to play with Paws, then stay up all day to socialise with us. Poor Oliver!

[spinningfishwife]

I'm intrigued about the spinning, what do you do with the yarn??

Knit or crochet with it, normally. I make a lot of fancy yarns, not just poridge coloured stuff for hairy jumpers which is what often comes to mind when someone says "spinning", lol. I use all sorts of fibre like silk, alpaca, cashmere and of course wool.  Cat hair is structured slightly differently to wool   so spinning it would be a bit fiddly, but I think I'll give it a go once I've collected enough combings.

[Dawn F]

sounds like he is going to be fine just needs a bit of time and no cat needs a diamond collar!

I'm intrigued about the spinning, what do you do with the yarn??

[spinningfishwife]

Nope, Paws is definitely not a feral cat, but rather a house moggie that's not had a particularly good set of owners in the past. Strangely, given that he only got neutered at the rescue, he is supposed to be an indoor cat, whereas I would have thought an entire tom would have wanted to go out a lot. I was told his brother was used to going outside, so there must have been access. Weird. I was also told that the brother cat was extremely dominant to Paws, to the extent that the rescue took the unusual decision to split a sibling pair for re homing. Sounds like between his bossy brother, several young children, dogs and possibly a rough male owner Paws has decided that the best place to be is under the bed or similar.

Oh well, he'll figure it out I expect. We've always taken good care of our cats and they're part of the family. The house is scruffy but there's plenty of space, and while some weeks we all (humans and animals both) have to live on the supermarket special offers there's enough for the odd tin of sardines and always for the vet. Paws may never get that diamond collar, but no-one will be bad to him here.

[dabs]

Hi HippyKitty, Just putting food down for a cat and retreating is not forcing the cat to do anything he does not want to. The men need not be in the same room as Paws, when he eats as this would crowd him out and make him nervous. Just for paws to associate the men with nice things like food.

Ferals are totally different and if Paws was feral then yes, I would agree wiith you.  I had a cat that was timid and avoided my OH and my son like the plague and would literally s*** himself if he heard thier foorsteps on the stairs. So I got OH and son to feed and retreat, when Charlie got more confident he would then eat while they were in the same room, he then progressed onto playing with them and eventually taking titbit from their hands.

I have had other cats both my own and fosters that have been treated the same way if they have an aversion to a family member and I can confidently say that we have never yet had a failure. Asbo would pine if I was not around and refused to eat and would hide as he was so attached to me and would only eat if I had put the food down, this was after two years with us having come in orginally as a foster as a spitty nervous cat.  OH then had to start putting food down for him while I was around and now Asbo will let either of us feed him.

Paws will never get used to the idea that they are not going to hurt him, unless he starts to think of them as walking treats on legs!

Opinions will differ on this I am sure, however there is a big difference between nervous ferals and nervous domestics and I deal with both and ferals are tamed down totally different to nervous domestics. However it is entirely up to the OP how she decides to proceed and I wish her good luck with Paws.

[spinningfishwife]

Hubby's never been one for coaxing cats onto his lap and such, but he'd like to get to the point that Paws will be happy enough to sit on the opposite side of the room. He normally does the morning feeding shift anyway as he gets up at 5.30 am compared to my 7am, and any cat we have ever owned has taken it for granted that Awake Human = Catering Staff. Oliver will go and climb over anyone, even complete strangers, to tell them about his day so Hubby is making a point of talking to and playing with Oliver when Paws is watching, just to demonstrate the fact that he doesn't eat cats, not even small ones.

I invested in a tub of Whiskas Crunchies today, btw, and Paws will eat them from my fingers which is rather sweet as very few of my cats have done this.  He goes straight back to his corner when he's eaten everything on offer though! I don't think he feels the need to come and sit beside humans looking for attention. He prefers to sit and observe. He sits and suffers the daily combing with nothing more than the odd rumble but he's not fighting to get away. Big gentle cat, but one who's had a hard time and not a lot of fuss and attention, I suspect. However even if he never becomes a lap cat we're so pleased that he and Oliver are getting on so well so quickly that he would be more than welcome here just for that.

Did I mention that I'm a spinner? (Of yarn, not exercise bikes!!) I've been combing a lot of loose fluff out of Paws over the last week, so I think I may try spinning it soon. It is theoretically possible to spin cat and dog hair but I've never done it. Would be funny to eventually get enough fibre from him to make a knitted cusion or something, lol.  I've never had such a fluffy cat before...always shorthairs.

[Millys Mum]

The men putting down food isnt really forcing themselves onto Paws, just getting him to think they are actually good for something!!

[Hippykitty]

Dabs, I disagree slightly with your advice. From my experience with ferals, it's usually best to let a reluctant cat come to you rather than force yourself upon the cat. If the males approach Paws before he has become accustomed to the idea that they are not going to hurt him at any moment, Paws will see their approach as a threat and be afraid.

It sounds as though Paws it at home with spinningfishwife and Oliver and will gradually accept the human males. But any sudden moves, even to feed him, he'll misconstrue as an attack. Eventually he'll just sit on the husband's knee and go to sleep if left alone.

That's my personal opinion, based on taming ferals.

[dabs]

Hi

As you are the one that spends so much time with him, he will form a closer bond with you. May I suggest that Hubby and son take turns in putting down the food for him while talking to him and avoiding eye contact. After a while he will associate the men in the house with nice treats and will come round in time. Hubby and son can then start interacting with him a bit more, such as toys on a string etc.

If the males in the house contnue to avoid him, Paws will never get used to them, he does need to associate men with nice things.

This could take many weeks so a lot of work and patience is the key.

Good luck with him.

[spinningfishwife]

Yup, I think too many sardines and tinned fish gives cats the skitters. Certainly it did one of our last cats, Missy. Once a week treats. I'm a firm beliver in feeding cats a good quality wet cat food with a few crunchy bits as garnish and a small portion of treat food every second day or so, though we're having it once per day at the moment.

Progress report: Paws is now spending much of his sleeping time on his blanket in the corner behind my spinning wheels, rather than onder a shelf or bed. He's been coming out at night when everyone but me is in bed and having a good nosey round. I don't think he's actually playing with young Oliver but he's tolerating Oliver playing with him...the wee lad leaps on him and plays pouncing games, and is fascinated by the big fluffy twitchy tail! Paws has cuffed Oliver a couple of times when he gets too pesty, but he keeps his claws in so I think that's fair. I'm totally thrilled that they seem to have taken to each other with practically no fuss at all, no spitting, no snarling or fighting, and Paws is very interested as to what Oliver does at night and follows him round. They're both using both trays and eating from each other's dishes too. The only thing that's not happening is that Paws won't let Oliver on his blanket, lol.

They are vocalising to one another...Oliver is a chatty kitten at the best of times and has always given me a non-stop commentary on where he is, what he's been doing, whether he's used his tray etc etc. His mum is just the same, blether blether blether. And I heard Paws chirping away to him yesterday, and last night there was a very baritone "miraww, miraww"  to the falsetto "meep meep" two way conversation going on in the hall at 3am. The only downside of all this is that my little ginger shadow has deserted me for more interesting company! However, that's to the good. I didn't want Oliver to grow up an only cat in an indoors setting, where he never saw another cat for the whole of his life. Cats need other cats.

Paws still won't allow my Hubby near him though, and runs for a hidey hole if Hubby goes close. Poor cat...there's obviously history there.

[Hippykitty]

Sounds like the males in his previous household may have been cruel to him and he now keeps out of the way of men. Eventually he'll  get used to the fact that he isn't mistreated in your home and will start to relax and come out of himself. I can tell from the pic that there's a really nice cat inside there waiting to come out.

Give him time. Go careful with the sardines. Too many may not be a good thing. Just a few times a week. Eventually, you might discover his playful side by shutting the younger cat out of a room and pulling a piece of string along the ground for Paws. If he responds, you'll soon win him over.

Good luck and welcome to Purrs.

[Christine (Blip)]

I call that progress too.  Paws will soon figure out that he's finally landed on his - er - paws    Keep up the good work and invest in some more sardines.

Desley, I'm a firm believer in getting down to a cat's level and then not bothering them.  We must loom very large from a nervous feline viewpoint...

[Desley (booktigger)]

I have sometimes scared cats more trying to be on their level!!

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

Sorry to butt into this thread - but i have used rescue remedy in water - but didn't know about putting it on ears !
Do you dilute it first and is it just a couple of drops - interested in case i ever need to try it .

You don't need to dilute it when using on ears.



spinningfishwife    to Purrs your boys are gorgeous.  Great news that Paws has polished off the sardines ... that's a good sign ... and he will now associate you with nice yummies 

I agree with all the information the others have given you. The only thing I would add is if you want to bond with paws try spending as much time as possible at "cat level" ie, sitting on the floor.  You don't need to actually interact with paws just being in the same room reading or gently talking to him will help to relax him.

I'm sure he will soon settle down especially now he knows there are sardines on the menu 

[spinningfishwife]

Well, we've found a secret weapon. The big dude (as my son calls him) likes sardines. We've tried tuna, roast chicken, haddock, cheese, ham...he's eaten them all but not with any particular enthusiasm. Whereas the sardines...I put down the plate then watched him from the kitchen. He was in his hidey-hole in the bookcase and you could see him starting to drool and lick his chops, but he didn't want to come out. He really didn't want to come out, but he wanted the sardines more. Took about ten minutes but the sardines won, lol. He cleaned his plate then went and sat in a secluded corner to wash, but not hiding. I gave him a scap of blanket over there and he's asleep on it now.

Enthusiastic eating and not hiding quite so much as he has been. Plus he's given himself a really good wash and brush up, and he's looking much more alert. I call that progress, don't you?

(He ate Oliver's sardines as well, I just realised. Good thing Oliver doesn't like sardines!)

[Millys Mum]

6 days isnt very long for him, his last home sounds like it could have been very traumatic for him  Milly was a very insecure cat when she first arrived, shes now been here 3 years but the first 4 months she was very uneasy, she too had a history of upheaval.

Time really is of the essence, hes been in a rescue, joined a new home with strange humans and is living in another cats territory, poor chap must be mortified 

[Christine (Blip)]

  to Purrs, spinningfishwife.  Six days is no time at all and from the sound of it you're adopting the right approach.  Your account suggests that poor Paws may have cause to dislike children and men but if you all treat him gently and let him come to each of you in his own time, he should come round at his age and learn to trust you.

Get yourself down to his level on the floor and try playing soft music - choral music is a good start if you have any - while ignoring him and doing something else: he will gradually get used to you.

He is certainly a lovely cat, as is Oliver.

[Desley (booktigger)]

I am using RR on Kizzy at the moment, and there has been a difference in her - I put a few drops on her ears, and some in her food, there is also some in her water. If you put it in food, just give it a few seconds before feeding them, so the smell starts to dissipate.
If you buy Feliway from VetUK, please do it from one of the rescue links on here, although I never remember where to find them!! That way, whichever rescue you use can have a percentage of your order and it doesn't cost anything to you

[bunglycat]

Sorry to butt into this thread - but i have used rescue remedy in water - but didn't know about putting it on ears !
Do you dilute it first and is it just a couple of drops - interested in case i ever need to try it .

They are beautiful boys - i am sure that Paws will eventually settle.

I have had FiFi for about 9-10 weeks now and i kept her in the spare room for about 3 weeks at first , there was some cursing and spitting when i first started to let her out - but everything seems fine now - at the moment she is beside Smartie , flat on her back ( and so is he !!) both in front of the fire asleep

[Tiggy's Mum]

What beautiful boys 

The rescue remedy is indeed Bach's rescue remedy, there are lots of us on here who have had success with it including several cat rescues.  I used it (two small drops rubbed into the outer ear) on my cat when he had a traumatic experience last year.  It really seemed to help him get over it much quicker than a previous 'trauma' he had, despite being a cheeky confident so and so when he wants to be he can also be very sensitive bless him!

It's not a miracle cure by any means but used in conjuction with the sound approach you seem to have already adopted it might help him relax a bit.  My cat wasn't keen on me rubbing it in his ears but seeing as he isn't/wasn't frightened of me I wasn't losing any trust by rubbing it on his ears.  Perhaps if Paws is wary then it might be better to put a few drops in his water instead.

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,9929.0.html

[fluffybunny]

   I would also echo what the others have said about feliway.  I haven't used rescue remedy so can't comment on that but I have used feliway.  I adopted 2 8 year old cats last year who had been living in a 1 bedroom flat with a 14 month old baby They spent the first few days totally freaked out and it did take several weeks before they were reasonably comfortable with us, and several months before they would totally relax without keeping half an eye on a bolt hole.  Even now they rush off and hide whenever new people visit, although they are much happier with repeat visitors - and they are 100% normal, cuddly, loving cats with us now.  We live in a very quiet area and there's just 2 adults here, so I can imagine it might take a bit longer in a busier household.  After about the first week I bought a feliway and my hubby asked that evening who had swapped the cats - it made a huge difference.  You can buy them from www.vetuk.co.uk among other places and I think it's well worth the money.  I would just give him more time, plenty of space to come out and explore and familiarise himself in his own time, and hopefully he will start to realise that he is staying with you (he may well be not settling in part because he's worried about moving again).

All the best, please do keep us posted!

[spinningfishwife]

Thanks for the replies, especially the advice about remedies. Is the Rescue Remedy the same as the Bachs human version, given that you can buy it in Boots? If so, I have some somewhere and will give it a try.

Here are some pictures...you can see why the big lad is called Paws, eh? He doesn't look too unhappy here, must admit, but that's because no-one but me was at home and I'd put him there while i found the comb. Five minutes later he was back under the bed.

[Tiggy's Mum]

  to Purrs

I haven't been in this situation myself but have seen similar posts about frightened, withdrawn cats and they all seem to have a 'happy ending' so to speak.  You sound like a great owner so he's got every chance of settling down into your happy family. 

I'd second the recommendation for Feliway and Rescue Remedy.  Feliway is a plug in (odourless) that releases calming pheromones and Rescue remedy is a liquid that you can add a few tiny drops to his water or rub into his outer ear.

http://www.vetuk.co.uk/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=149_1&products_id=334

Rescue Remedy can be bought from any chemist, Boots etc

with it all, would love to see pics of these two if you get a moment 

[Desley (booktigger)]

6 days is too soon to be considering anything major, you are talking about weeks for him to adjust and settle down. You could try Rescue Remedy and Feliway in the meantime, to help him calm down slightly, and try and keep him in one room if possible, and just sit in the room ignoring him. Good luck

[spinningfishwife]

Hi.

First time on a this forum and I'm asking for advice already, sorry.  I've had cats on and off during most of my life but they have all come from friends homes as kittens or young cats, and I've never had problems with any of them before. One of our current resident cats is a four month old ginger moggie called Oliver. He's fine, he's friendly and happy and social but his only problem is that he is an only cat and is going to be kept indoors. Our last two cats were both killed on the road outside within weeks of one another, and it's just too busy for cats alas. So we decided to get a pal for Oliver before he got too old and I started searching round the local cat rescues.

Last week we got Paws, a 10 month old neutered tom that had come from what sounded like a very overcrowded house, with dogs and cats and several small children. His owner had brought him and his brother in because they had too many animals and the cats were a nuisance. His brother was very much the dominant cat and was rehomed seperately. Paws seemed quiet in the rescue centre, sat when stroked and not particularly afraid of other cats or me. He wasn't forthcoming though...with hindsight he was withdrawn, I think.  I just thought it was the after effects of the neutering and vaccinations, plus he was the right age, used to other cats and an indoor cat ...and he is GORGEOUS, a big fluffy grey and white cat. I brought him home.

Since then? It's like he's behind a glass wall. He ignores us. He ignores Oliver totally...Oliver is doing all the usual kitten things and trying to play. He sits under the bed or in a number of hidey-holes he's found and only comes out at night. He is eating and using his tray but not when we're around. If I lift him up and put him on the sofa he sits and tolerates this with only a bit of tail lashing , but leaves as soon as possible. I am under strict instructions to comb him every day as his coat is a bit neglected and he tolerates this too, but with an air of great unhappiness.

I should point out he's not just ignoring us with an air of disdain...it's like he's too cowed to resist. He can cope with me, but he's terrified of my husband and teenage son, both of whom are experienced with cats and adore them. He freaks and just about overturns the furniture in an effort to get away and hide if one of them so much as coughs at the other end of the house.  He can barely sit in the same room as my daughter. He ignores Oliver, which is a bit sad as Oliver finds him interesting and does his best to socialise. He is very withdrawn, poor cat.

Now I know he's been through a lot...a not very good home, the rescue centre for a week, strange cats, his brother going away, neutering, vaccinations, new home, new cat, US! But even my mother's feral adoptees were never withdrawn like this. Is it a perfectly normal reaction, or is he suffering from depression of some sort? What can I do to help? I'm trying not to bother him too much (except for the combing), talk to him a lot from a safe distance, have given him seperate food dishes and litter tray (though there has been no conflict whatsoever between him and Oliver) and left him to his hidey-holes. Is this going to last forever? Am I expecting too much of him after only six days? I have to admit, I'm disappointed. I got him as a companion cat for Oliver and it's just not happening...in fact the little lad is starting to get upset. Paws is freaked out totally by 3/4 of the people here. Is he suited to a family house, do you think? Will he settle down and start to socialise? I am beginning to wonder if he'd not be better going back to the cat rescue with the strong suggestion that he goes to a much quieter house, with no children and perhaps no men. How long do cats normally take to make an adjustment to a new home?

Suggestions? Advice? I'm more than willing to take a lot of time over this cat. I'm at home during the day so he'll be seeing a lot of me.