Reassurance needed - for me & for Bubz

[Helena]

I've come up with a potential solution to the external cat flap and that is to get someone to make a sliding door to go over the flap so Bubz cant see outside. Unfortunately that's going to have to wait tlll I come back from holiday. Till then Bubz will have to be in my room.

[madkittyrescue]

Hi Helen,  hope you're feeling a bit better about things now. 

Re the door, well if the PA in for that night deems that they want to leave the door open then that is their choice.  But remember, it is YOUR and Bubz house.  it is all too easy for these people to forget that just because our bodies don't work properly they automatically assume neither does our brain!!!   (sorry... a little bug bear of mine that i do lose the head about from time to time!!! )

I still say stand up for yourself.  If they are worried about not hearing you in the night then put in a walkie talkie or alarm system to wake them.

It is your house and you should be able to live the way that YOU want.  They are there to help you Helen to live a normal life the way you want to not hinder you by expecting you to live your life by their rules in your own home.  Perhaps they just need to be reminded of that!!!

I know its easier said than done but I just don't see why you should have live feeling like your walking on egg shells just to keep others happy.  You have as much right to live a happy life at home as much as anyone else.

OK, turbo rant over... sorry!!!  Lets just say I can relate! 

[Ela]

Just thought how about http://www.canineconcepts.co.uk/item--SssCat-Automated-Area-Deterrent--ssscat just inside your PA's door.

[Ela]

All I would say is that it is not your fault your PA chooses to sleep with her door ajar. Unless that is of course so you could get her attention more easily  if help was needed during the night.

[Mark]

I can't think of any deterrent as any sensible cat gets a thrill out of being where they aren't supposed to be (Like Willow in our front garden, on a high street  )

I had a lodger in my old flat who kept complaining that Kylie kept going in his room and sitting on his (my) armchair during the day. I told him the simplest thing to do was to close the door or accept the consequences. I reminded him that she is a cat 

Here she is in the wardrobe on a pile of clean clothes - now had I closed the wardrobe door............ 

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[Helena]

<snip>I tried {having a litter tray in my room} when I first had her and was disturbed every night after her bowels had emptied, which in turn meant disturbing my PAs to open my bedroom door. I thought about putting a flap in my bedroom door but the rest of the house is open plan so if she is in the sittingroom she can get out as there's no door to the kitchen.<snip>

What I didn't say earlier was that having her free to walk the house at night also means that she could/would sneak into the PAs room (which is strictly off limits) if anyone prefers to sleep with their door ajar. Bubz is feline enough to [1] know she's not allowed in and [2] to do it! She tries her luck every now and then anyhow but there would be no way of preventing it if we humans are asleep! A mesh covering for that door isn't practical - even though it popped into my brain as I was typing this! :lol:

Any ideas for deterring (as far as possible) Bubz from going into that room would be greatly appreciated, and many thanks for your boosts to my confidence. Virtual hugs all round.

Helen

[Mark]

I agree, for starters, she could sort the litter tray out each morning 

They have a covered one in PAH for about £18.00 that has a flap (which you may decide to take out at the beginning until Bubz is used to it) and it has carbon filters. I have a couple of them and they are great - even though I don't use the flap. Thinking about it, I'm sure PAH do a covered one without a flap as well.

I have seen a similar but cheaper version in Wilkinsons as well.

[swampmaxmum]

I agree too. Judy's got to understand that Bubz is your cat and your best friend and it's your house! She's there to help make your life easier, not give you lectures about what she thinks you should do with your cat. I'm so sorry - it must be stressful. I would try to have a quiet, firm word with Judy to say that both you and Bubz appreciate your routines, which make your life easier, so if she's really there to help you do just that (the job description!), to please respect the way you and Bubz live and make the best of it. 

[Maddiesmum]

I agree with the others re your PA.  She is working FOR you not the other way round so don't let her dictate to you when you know what is best for Bubz.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I agree with madkitty, surely your PA is there to assist you with what you want and need and not to lecture on how you and Bubz live and you have the right and the duty to whats best for Bubz...........stick to your guns 

[Ela]

My current one, Judy, insists I'm 'pampering' Bubz and not letting her do cat-things like being outside at night, and keeping her in my room at night.

I would advise Judy that you are not pampering Bubz but doing what in the opinion of sensible cat owners is the right thing, in fact it is a fundamental requirement when adopting from Cats Protection to keep in at night and provide a litter tray. As I am sure you know we can all suddenly feel the urge to ‘go’ at any time & holding it is not good for health reasons. Another reason they advise to always provide a litter tray is that if the cat has a problem even if it is used to ‘going’ outside it will in times of illness keep going into the tray and even if it does not pass anything you will be alerted that there is a problem. Of course. cystitis is very common in cats and needs urgent Veterinary treatment.  It is often shown up if the cat uses the  tray  frequently and/or passes blood something you would never see if they use a hole in the garden. There is a type of litter nowadays that says on the packet it lasts one cat 30 days before the tray needs empting. You just take out the poo each day which sort of freeze dries very quickly. Having said that I find that after about 10 days or so I can smell the urine, but it is very good for people who may have difficulty in changing trays as it can be left until you have someone who will do it for you.

[madkittyrescue]

I think to say your being cruel by keeping her in, etc is a bit extreme Helen.  You love bubz and she is your best friend by the sounds of things and so long as you are both happy with the current situation then carry on as you are

There are a lot of people with 'opinions' about what cats should or shouldn't have... and to be honest you know your cat best and what makes her happy.  Try taking the advice of those around you with a pinch of salt or 2!   you know bubz best.

You could try a covered tray to help 'conceal' the nasty whiff of her night time visits??? 

I hope that your PA's don't talk down to you as I know many people do to others in a wheelchair  (I'm a wheelchair user myself)  and I know how condescending it can be so stand up for yourself and bubz   

[Dawn F]

before I cat proofed the garden we locked ours in every night and they never had problems but you know your cat best of course

[Helena]

The outside flap can be locked but I'm worried that if she tries to get out at night and cant that the next morning she wont try to go out via the flap. She can be easily panicked.

[Dawn F]

could you change to a lockable cat flap?  one of the ones with a panel that slides down or something?

[Helena]

No she doesnt Mark.

I tried that when I first had her and was disturbed every night after her bowels had emptied, which in turn meant disturbing my PAs to open my bedroom door. I thought about putting a flap in my bedroom door but the rest of the house is open plan so if she is in the sittingroom she can get out as there's no door to the kitchen. When I tried putting a box (weighng ± 8kg) in front of the flap to outside. she pulled it over and got out! I am unable to get up to open the door to let Bubz out and this is the nub of the problem.

[Mark]

Does she have a tray in your bedroom or access to one at night? - Although they can hold it very well. it's not healthy long term.

[Helena]

Bubz is doing ok - still wary of my chair! This morning when I was getting her Felix pouch out of the bag I use, a bit of light card slipped off the fridge. Now Madam was going beneath my feet when the card fell and in her hurry to get away she lifted her head too high and hit it on my footplace! Silly little kitten-cat

Am having disputes with my PAs though.

My current one, Judy, insists I'm 'pampering' Bubz and not letting her do cat-things like being outside at night, and keeping her in my room at night. A few nights ago Bubz had gone out before her night time bikkies and hadnt come back before I got into a bath. I heard the tiny tinkle from her bell (much more used for my benefit than birds) but Judy dismissed it as me hearing things. Then a few mins later I heard a pathetic meowing and scratching at the bathroom door. Again Judy said I was hearing things, but when we emerged from the bathroom a sorry-looking Bubz came through from the kitchen beside her bowl, as if to say "where were you mummy? I've been waiting for AGES!"

I will not have her in the sitting room at night. She'd not understand now and would wail in the night trying to get my bedroom door open. Plus she'd get outside which I am not happy about. Cats are creatures of habit if Bubz is anything to go by, and I have taught her a routine that involves her staying in my room at night.  Once in a while she needs to get out earlier and though she had an accident Saturday a.m when it was so wild here, it was a first for her here.

Sorry for the rant but needed to get it off my chest.

Helen

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[Maddiesmum]

How's Bubz doing?

[Helena]

Thank you for all your  reassurances.

A big all round  - I  think I just needed other people to tell me what  my PA has said.

Helen

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

Ahh Helen don't punish yourself ... she will forgive you she's just taking full advantage of your guilt at the moment    If she thinks she can milk it and get lots of treats she will!

Just carry on as normal and when she decides you have been punished enough she'll be back to normal.

Sam 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

She will definately forgive you and your wheels but it just needs time and reassurance that you wont run over her again.

Once she feels safe she will be back and up to all her old tricks like sneaking up on your wheels again.

[Helena]

She's even running away from me after having treats! She's making me feel a real heel for hurting her. I know she's not dong it on purpose or even conciously but it hurts. If I could rewind time I would.....

[Angiew]

In her own good time! It won't do any harm for her to be a bit wary anyway.

Titch is learning not to run around by my feet all the time (well sometimes!) after he was trod on last week.

[Helena]

Bubz and I (plus wheelchair)  were fine until 2 mornings ago when she got pinched between doorframe floor and my wheels. She had snuck round to my left – a thing not usual for her and I didn’t hear or see her, and my PA didn’t either. In the next second I ran over her left rear leg.

Now, not unnaturally, she is giving me a wide berth except when I am in bed or stationary. She isn't hurt-hurt, just a bit tender. She is running and climbing fences  and kitchen tables! All it is is that she doesn’t trust my wheels any more and that hurts me like mad.

What can I do to regain her trust in my wheels? I’m giving her treats to reassure her and she DOES come up to me for a finger stroke when I’m not moving.

Will she regain it?

Please help!

Helen