Author Topic: Aggression  (Read 6942 times)

Offline Bumble1989

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #29 on: May 08, 2017, 09:04:09 AM »
Morning Sue!

No luck yet, I have shared and shared but not getting anything back.. feeling at a bit of a loss really not sure what to do next :(

Hope all is well with you?

x

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #28 on: May 08, 2017, 07:05:48 AM »
Hi Bumble.  How are things going?  Have you had any luck yet?

Offline Bumble1989

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #27 on: April 06, 2017, 09:28:26 AM »
Hello Sue

Hope you are well? The lovely people at Pet Smaritans have kindly put her on their website -

http://www.petsamaritans.co.uk/bailey-real-life-puss-boots-adoption/

Unfortunately we have not heard anything yet, just waiting to hear back from Shonagh also so fingers crossed something can come from either place :)

X
« Last Edit: April 06, 2017, 09:29:12 AM by Bumble1989 »

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #26 on: April 05, 2017, 08:33:48 AM »
Morning Bumble

How're you getting on?  Have you been able to make any progress?  Thinking about you.  :hug:

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #25 on: March 23, 2017, 13:41:00 PM »
Not to worry Gill.  Am just hoping she's okay, as I know her health was giving her some problems prior to Christmas. 

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #24 on: March 23, 2017, 13:12:06 PM »
I HAVENT HAD ANY NOTIFICATIONS ABOUT SHONAGH, SUE

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #23 on: March 23, 2017, 11:59:12 AM »


So understand where you're coming from, Bumble.  It will be upsetting for both of you, and the less painful it can be made, the better.   :hug:

Offline Bumble1989

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #22 on: March 23, 2017, 11:29:37 AM »
Morning Sue

Thank you for the below links, hopefully they might know someone who can help :)

I would like it if she went from our home directly to her new home so hopefully this is possible, I really just want to make it as stress less as possible for her :(

Thanks again :hug: x

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #21 on: March 23, 2017, 07:45:00 AM »
Anyone who's on Facebook, do you know if Shonagh has been using her account lately? 

I've been messaging her since Christmas, but not heard back from her, which is unlike her.

I also think Shonagh may know some places Bumble could approach.

In the meantime, would any of these be near enough to you to be worth a try, Bumble?


http://www.angelwingsanimalrescue.co.uk/

Blue Cross Rehoming Centre, Rolleston, Staffs (possibly a bit far, but worth checking)

http://www.petsamaritans.co.uk/

http://www.roxiesrescue.org/

http://www.woodlandnookcatrescue.com/

These places may not be able to take Bailey themselves, but there are often useful networking contacts between rescues, and they may be able to suggest fostering options, or be able to offer to put Bailey on their re-homing lists whilst she remains with you.

It's great to know she's in good health, and no-one can be in any doubt that any decision you make has Bailey's welfare and well-being very much at its heart.  :hug: :hug:





Offline Lyn (Slugsta)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #20 on: March 22, 2017, 22:24:37 PM »
I am so sorry to hear this Bumble, how heartbreaking for you  :hug:

Offline Judecat (Paula)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #19 on: March 22, 2017, 21:37:36 PM »
So sorry to hear this Bumble, but at the end of the day you have to do what is best for your beloved companion. :care: :care: :care: :care: :care: :care:

Take care Honey,

Paula xxx
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Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #18 on: March 22, 2017, 20:29:03 PM »
SO SORRY BUT HER BEING IN GOOD HEALTH WILL MAKE IT EASIER  :hug: :hug:

Offline Bumble1989

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #17 on: March 22, 2017, 20:22:24 PM »
Hello all

So a little update on Bailey, I have taken her to the vets this evening to double check her health is all ok. She is in perfect health but the vet has advised it is probably in her best interests to find her a new home :( x

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #16 on: March 22, 2017, 06:53:23 AM »
Bumble, have sent you a PM.   :hug:

Offline Judecat (Paula)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2017, 22:24:12 PM »
Bless you Sue. :blow kiss:

If the other options don't work, I am sure that will be a lifeline that will help immeasurably. :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Offline Bumble1989

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2017, 19:09:55 PM »
Thank you! :Luv: x
« Last Edit: March 21, 2017, 19:15:10 PM by Bumble1989 »

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2017, 19:04:45 PM »
Hmmm.  May know someone who could help.  Leave it with me.   :hug: :hug:

Offline Bumble1989

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2017, 18:53:45 PM »
I'm in Chesterfield :)

Thanks so much for your help x

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2017, 17:51:22 PM »
Aw Bumble.  Bless you sweetheart.   :hug: :hug:  it's so hard.


What area do you live?  We can have a look and see what suitable places you have near you, but CP are generally pretty reliable.   

Offline Bumble1989

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2017, 16:42:25 PM »
Haha this is true, they certainly are the kings/queens of the household!

I'm not sure letting her out is a good idea either, I would be a wreck worrying about her that's for sure!

That is what concerns me, I just want her to go somewhere she is settled and safe where she can just be happy and live a stress free life.

From your experience would it best going through Cats Protection or are there other organisations they are equally as good? I would really like to keep in contact with whoever has her so I know she is ok, I'm not sure if this is an option.

I wish I could clone me and live in a little house with just me and her :)

x

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2017, 16:17:43 PM »
Of course the bed is hers - I'm surprised you have to reflect on it.  ;) :evillaugh:

I think when she's used to being an Indoor cat, it's sensible to maintain that, as she won't have much street awareness about her.  Unless you move somewhere where you could cat proof the garden, so she could access it with it being entirely enclosed, it isn't something I'd recommend. 

There are some good threads about on that very subject, and a few Purrs members who live happily with this compromise.  If you aren't DIY savvy though, it can be expensive to have done.

Doesn't surprise me about the cat tree - some cats just won't use them.  I'm glad ours do, otherwise I'd have been a lot sadder and poorer.   :innocent:

My inclination with a cat as stressed as Bailey is that she'd be better off with someone who is experienced with stressed out cats, rather than a person new to cat ownership. 

If she has to be re-homed it has to be her last move. 

It would be heartbreaking to place her with a potential new home and find it didn't work and she then underwent another  move.  At her time of life it would hit her doubly hard.

"Older" cats coming into care often find it difficult in terms of getting a new home, even without behavioural issues, so its better to take time and care in getting her a good placement.  You're thinking in very sensible terms in that respect.

Offline Bumble1989

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2017, 15:16:48 PM »
I know I have already said thank you, but honestly thank you so much for your responses they are really helping.

I did wonder if I should see if she wanted to go outside but she has escaped in the past (many years a go, little monkey!) and I found her in our car engine! She was so frightened so I'm sure this wouldn't be a good option.

When I spoke to Cats Protection I told them I am happy to keep her until they find a suitable home rather than putting her into kennels and then rehoming, they have added me to a list and have said I can change my mind at any point if I wish  :(.

I just wish I knew someone suitable to take her so I could still she her and make sure she was ok, a single lady at work has offered but she has not had cats before and I am thinking she needs to be with someone that will understand cat behaviour?

When it is just me and her in the house she is still set up in my partners sons room.. I think she thinks his bed is hers (who am I to argue  ;D)

I have had a big tree for her in the past but she never went on it, it made a very big house decoration! I am wondering if it might be an idea to try another just to see if It helps her at all.

Really sorry I have not quite figured out to reply to individual messages!

Thanks again x
« Last Edit: March 21, 2017, 15:24:26 PM by Bumble1989 »

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2017, 14:57:48 PM »
 :welcome: TO PURRS

WHAT A TERRIBLE SITUATION TO BE IN AND ITS REALLY GOOD YOU HAVE RECOGNIZED THR PROBLEM AND ARE ACTIVELT THINKING ABOUT IT AND THE FUTRE FOR BAILEY.

I DONT THINK MOST OF US WOULD RECOMMEND REHOMING AS WE ALL ADORE OUR CATS AND SOUNDS AS IF YOU DO TOO.

HOWEVER I THINK SUES FIRST POST TO BE SPOT ON AND I CANT REALLY ADD ANYTHING TO WHAT SHE HAS SAID.

ANY FUTURE CHANGE OF PROPERTY WOULD NEED TO GIVE BAILEY THE FREEDOM FROM THE STRESS AND INTRUSION INTO HER LIFE THAT SHE IS FEELING NOW. A VERY GOOD IDEA TO LOOK AT A POTENTIAL BUY FROM A CATS POINT OF VIEW. A STOOPID THING TO DO BUT OFTEN HELPS IS TO LIE ON THE GROUND FACE DOWN AND THINK YOU ARE BAILEY AND THIS IS HOW SHE WILL SEE THINGS..............A SELLER WOULD THINK YOU ARE CRAZY...............BUT WHAT THE HELL LOL.

ALTHOUGH THE PRODUCTS ALL MENTIONED MAY HELP A BIT, I DONT THINK THEY WILLHAVE MAJOR SUCCESS BECAUSE BY NOW HER ATTITUDES TO PEOPLE AND SITUATIONS WILLBE WELL INGRAINED.

ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT IF YOU DO HAVE TO GO DOWN HE REHOMING ROUTE PLEASE MAKE SURE ITS CP AND THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO GO WITH WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT BAILEY AND IF A SUITABLE HOME DOES NOT COME UP QUICKLY THEY ARE WILLING FOR HER TO COME BACK TO YOU.

MANY CP BRANCHES HAVE TEMP FOSTERS WHO HAVE HAD SO MANY CATS COMING THRO THEIR DOORS THEY ARE USED TO BRINGING ROUND DIFFICULT CATS. THIS WOULD BE PREFERENTIAL TO HER LIVING IN A CONFINED SPACE UNTIL A HOME IS FOUND.

YOU CAN GIVE THEM A FULL HISTORY IE FOR A SINGLE PERSON WITH EXPERIENCE OF CATS, AGRESSIVE WHEN SPACE IS INVADED, NEEDS TIME AND CARE, MUST BE INDOOR CAT ETC ETC.

WE HAVE SOMEONE ON PURRS WHO HAD BEEN LOOKING FOR A SPECIAL CAT FOR AGES WHO PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST THE PERSON BUT SHE NOW HAS STANLEY WHO HAS BEEN WITH HER A FEW WEEKS.

I HOPE YOU CAN FIND THE PURRFECT WAY OF GETTING BAILEY UNSTRESSED AND HAPPY AGAIN WITH HER LIFE.......GOOD LUCK.

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2017, 14:14:33 PM »
Bumble, the very fact that you're considering your options for Bailey and thinking things through carefully shows us all that you have her best interests at heart.   :hug: :hug:

I love dogs and cats and have shared my life with both over the years.  Dogs can have their hang-ups too, but generally, they're a bit easier to fathom.

Cats aren't easy to know and understand - I think that's why most of us find them so darned attractive.  Half of the fun is finding out what makes them tick, but not in this kind of scenario, where you all end up feeling so unhappy.

That's really helpful information in your second post, too. 

Indoor cats are even more prone to stress than cats that have indoor and outdoor access, as they cannot remove themselves from the nuisance, or the thing they dislike.  It's not always possible for cats to have access to the outdoors for very sensible reasons relating to access and safety, but when that happens, the pressure ramps up to critical mass more quickly.  Add to that the fact that Bailey isn't a young kitten any more and reaching a leisurely middle age, and I don't think any of us would begrudge her the sunbathing and snoozing bits.   :)

Yes it does make sense with regard to the house.  It's often the case that modern accommodation doesn't make it easy to have suitable retreats for those of us with feline companions, and so we have to make the best of what we have.  Of course for Bailey she's already had one change of home.  She doesn't know that any other changes won't be equally or more upsetting.

She will pick up on your stress, you're right.  You could try getting her a large, tall cat tree - if you have a look on somewhere like Zooplus, they have a good selection.  One which allows her to be up high, out of the way, in her own special place might help.  Then again, you may spend £60 or so on a bobby dazzler cat climbing post thingy, only to find she never uses it. 

We have two monster cat trees, and they manage to keep all of our 3 happy with - as it happens - three attractive "up in the air" snoozing platforms and cushy beds, but I don't take it for granted that every cat would respond so well - might be worth a try though. 

Especially if you can locate it somewhere there is less traffic.  If she can see what's going on from an advantage point where she can't be surprised or disturbed, it may just help her feel more secure. 

When there are just you and her in the house, where does she prefer to hang out?




Offline Bumble1989

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2017, 13:48:59 PM »
Hello

Thank you so much for your reply, I have felt really upset regarding this and your response has given me some comfort.

She is an indoor cat, and pretty lazy (she likes sleeping and sunbathing.. a girl after my own heart!!)

She has always been manny but the behaviour is gradually getting worst, we moved into my partners house around 2 years ago. Previous to that like I say it was me and her, she isn't used to children but she seems to like my partner more than she likes me now! The set up of the house makes it so difficult to give her a shut off space as you have to go through most rooms to get to another (if that makes sense)

I must say she is my first cat and I don't really know how to deal with her behaviour, I don't know a lot about cats in general we grew up with dogs so I often feel I am not well equipped with knowledge to know what is the right thing to do. I know it doesn't help but it makes me quite stressed out which I know she will be picking up on.

I just want to do right by her so she is happy x

Offline Judecat (Paula)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2017, 12:41:05 PM »
Hi and welcome to Purrs. :welcome:

I have also had good results with Zylkene, which you mix in with wet food, and beaphar calming spot on drops to the back of the neck, also bought from amazon. Although this particular cat was aggressive to my other cats rather than people, mainly to one of them, but it calmed him down considerably and now they coexist in relative peace even though I haven't had to use them for quite a while. I hope that this helps Bailey.

I echo what Sue says, but maybe try the change of diet and the other things first, they may help. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Good luck. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Paula. xxx
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Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2017, 12:35:05 PM »
Hello Bumble.

Welcome to Purrs, although sorry it's under such stressful circumstances, for all concerned.

From what you outline, you have one very stressed cat. 

What she's displaying signs of is trying to protect herself from scary stuff - it sounds like she feels things are very out of control, and way out of her comfort zone.   

For some cats, that would mean they would hide.  For others, they'll attack in an attempt to defend their space, but in either case, it shows a very unhappy and distressed individual.

Is she an Indoors only cat, or does she have access to both indoors and outdoors?  How long has she been displaying this kind of behaviour?  When you mentioned that it's gone from being just you and her, to an expanded family, that seems to flag up an important change in her life, which she's found difficult to accommodate.

My guess is that the situation isn't helped because the place she's tried to adapt as her chosen space, is a through route, and so can't be kept separate from the rest of the household.

The best way I can describe it is to imagine that you and your cat are sharing a nice peaceful home.  Then one day, two complete strangers show up.  They're okay people, and well intentioned, but you don't know that.  All you know is that you didn't ask them round, or invite them to stay.

They're in your spaces, filling up your world with their personas, whether you want them to or not.   :shify:  They're bigger than you, and noisier than when it was just you and your Human.

You try to find yourself a place in the house which still feels like yours, but you can't - they're everywhere.  Their scent, their belongings - their presence - is everywhere.  Remember too, that as a cat, your senses are hundreds of times more heightened than they would be as a human, so this is inescapable.  Like being in a thunderstorm and your hair's standing on end because of the static.  It's "in the air."

If you're a laid back and chilled individual - no problem.  You embrace the change and go with the flow.  If you're nervous, and value most what you had before, you're going to become worried, anxious and irritable.   You can't escape anywhere - they're always passing through your space.  Why can't they just leave you be?   :scared:

Given that you're proposing further major changes, including a baby and a move of home, I think you're right to be concerned. 

Unless your home is going to be much bigger, with a designated space where your cat can hang out undisturbed, things will just get worse for her because nothing will smell familiar, and her sense of being unable to protect herself from what comes next is going to intensify, especially if a new baby is added to the mix.

Whilst there are things that you can do now to try and ease the situation, for example  using plug-in's such as Pet Remedy and Feliway in each room, sprinkling Zylkene  on her food, and reducing her world down to a more manageable space that others are told to avoid, my own feelings are that this really may be a case of finding a more suitable, quieter home for her.  Ultimately, that may be what she responds to best.

I think we all understand how devastating this would be for you to contemplate re-homing a much loved friend.  :hug:   

But for her world to change so much as you anticipate, if she's not handling the current presence of your partner and his son, and normal family life, it doesn't bode well for anyone's happiness and wellbeing.

If there is somewhere in the house where she currently likes to be, could you put her a shelter of some sort there, with food, water and a litter tray nearby.

Somewhere preferably you can ask others to keep away from.  What she needs is to shrink her world down to an area she can feel safe in, and where she can regain some confidence.  From what you describe, I doubt this will be feasible under your current living conditions.

If you do decide to give her up, I would make sure that it is to somewhere like Cats Protection, and outlining her current personality traits.

From the sounds of things, it would be vital for her that the person taking her knows of her current position, and who is experienced with a more sensitive cat. 

Cats are wonderful and amazing creatures, but what most don't like is radical change.  Some cats can roll with the punches and adapt, others can't. 

If your girl is an indoor only cat, then any changes which happen to her are going to be even more major than you might imagine on the face of things.  We used to have a cat that I loved the very bones of, but if you changed so much as a cushion cover, he'd get worried.  Now we have three cats, and two of those get worried if anything new appears in their environment.   It can happen to any of us.

What we have to do, as cat slaves, is put the welfare of the cat first.  They are helpless to change their world unless they vote with their feet and leave.  That makes life very precarious for them. 

You're entitled to have a happy and fulfilled life, with a partner and children, but those are choices that you can shape and actively participate in making. 

Your lovely cat companion can't, so if it isn't working out for her, finding her a home more suited to her needs is a kindness, and a loving gesture. 

Not an easy decision to make, so please don't take my words to sound pitiless, and rest assured I make no judgments.   :hug:

What is her name, by the way, and what does she look like?  Have you been together always? 

Offline Dawn F

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Re: Aggression
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2017, 10:36:51 AM »
I took a really angry cat from a family member, I've had good results with royal canin calm food, I get if from amazon or zooplus might be worth a try

Offline Bumble1989

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Aggression
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2017, 10:27:40 AM »
Hello all

 I am hoping you can offer me some reassurance or advice. I am having big issues with my cat (she is 8 years old) attacking strangers. She has made my partners sons room her zone and anyone other than me, my partner and his son that enters in there gets attacked (she will also attacked anywhere else in the house it is just worst in that room) On Friday she went for my partners sons friend who went in just to pick up a bag. It feels like the last straw, I don't know what I would have done if she would have got hold of him luckily my partner intervened. There is no where else in the house I can move her to and we have to go through that room to get to the bathroom, if we shut her in another room she goes crazy and it makes her more distressed. We are going to be moving house and trying for a baby and I am scared to have a new born around her and don't want this to stress her further. I have spoken to cats protection who have adviced it might be in everyone's benefits for her to be rehomed with someone that can have one on one attention with her, the thought of rehoming her is killing me but I feel stuck. She has always been a bit manny, and will give a swipe if you fuss her too much or get in her space too much. It has always just been me and her and we just lived simultaneously together, she would get a fuss when she came to me but we mostly just sat in each others company. I am scared one day if will go too far and she will eventually get hold of someone and do some real damage. Any advice would be great, thanks x

 


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