Author Topic: Scared cat  (Read 296 times)

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Scared cat
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2018, 06:52:20 AM »
That's great to hear.   ;D  Didn't appreciate she was a cystitis sufferer.  That will always make her a little more prone to stress, and peeing difficulties, bless her.  Glad she approached your OH.  I bet you both were too.   :hug:

Offline Allybean

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Re: Scared cat
« Reply #5 on: January 15, 2018, 22:33:17 PM »
And thank you sue for the suggestion of the diffusers just so happens we have pet remedy in the living room and feliway in the bedroom for salems stress issues (which so far so good😁)
« Last Edit: January 15, 2018, 22:33:51 PM by Allybean »

Offline Allybean

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Re: Scared cat
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2018, 22:29:40 PM »
We've just introduced a new litter tray into the bedroom overnight and that now seems to be working she's picked up loads now she's had cystitis in the past and she's not really showing any signs of it she's so much happier today even jumped onto my bf lap for a petting and gave huge purr she's still not 100% herself but at least she's on her way back to normal or what passes for normal in cats my bf is now terrified of upsetting her he does love both of our cats to bits

Offline Rosella moggy

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Re: Scared cat
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2018, 09:10:41 AM »

Looking at previous posts, your male cat Salem has been suffering from cystitis?

https://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php?topic=48162.msg886051#msg886051

 Peeing on duvets, cushions, soft clothing etc is often litter tray aversion caused by the cat associating cystitis pain with the litter tray.

Has your female cat Chiana been checked by a vet?  Pain relief helps a great deal if it is stress related cystitis.

Whilst doubtless frustrating (and believe me I know) the very worst thing your partner could do is cause more stress by shouting.

« Last Edit: January 15, 2018, 09:19:39 AM by Rosella moggy »
Groucho's eyes .........  swoon


Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Scared cat
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2018, 07:27:00 AM »
Hello Allybean

What a shame that this has happened.  Fully understand your partner's instinctive reaction, but it can be very damaging with cats when they become afraid of their care-givers, and you have to work very hard to try and regain the trust.

My first suggestion would be to put out two litter trays - and if you have the room - three litter trays.  Fill one (or two) with the cat litter the scared cat prefers, and leave the other as it is for your other cat.  I recognise that it's not often pleasant to have loads of cat litter trays around the house, but generally it's better than having your belongings peed on. 

My second suggestion would be that your OH spends time with your worried cat, playing with her and providing her food. 

This really needs to happen two or three times a day at least, to reinforce the positive association with her.  It would be best if he was the only one to feed her in this period, although appreciate that may not be feasible depending on working arrangements etc.

It's worth considering where this kind of situation arises, that cats in many respects are no different to children.  They will do things which may seem to us, at first blush, unacceptable and unpleasant.  They normally do it, because they're trying to draw to your attention that they need something from you (in this case a tray with a different litter base). 

We can be a bit dense at times in picking up on what it is they're trying to tell us, or we may feel it's not in their/our best interests.  But just as we wouldn't exclude, shout at or instil fear into a child in a healthy parenting situation, we shouldn't react to cats in that way.   

I suspect your OH already feels bad, and genuinely wants to retrieve the relationship with your scared cat, so he needs to repeatedly show her that he is sorry.  Best way to do that is the positive association method. 

If she runs away from him initially, then he can try just sitting with her - maybe she wont allow him to get too close at first, and may get up, move or run away.  If that happens, he can try just sitting in the same room as her, and shifting position so he gets a little closer each time.  He can read, or listen to music but otherwise ostensibly be ignoring her, and have a few of her favourite treats or food tit-bits to hand, so that he can gradually coax her to him, if she makes a move of her own accord.  This may take some time, so he has to be prepared to stick at it for it to work.  It's best not to force the interaction, and to allow her to make the moves. 

Depending on the character of your cat, she may never trust him again to the previous degree, and you may have to be prepared to accept that, though it's to be hoped the relationship can be repaired.

I would also try using plug ins, such as Pet Remedy or Feliway - if you live in a house, I'd put one upstairs in the place she spends most time, and one downstairs.  You can also try Zylkene, sprinkled on her food, to calm her nerves.  You can get Zylkene without prescription, and it's safe to use.  You can also get a pet remedy spray or a feliway spray, and you can spray that on your hands and your clothing, the cats bedding etc.   It smells a little like sweaty socks, unfortunately.

Really hope that this can be turned around, and sending lots of "stick with it" and "good luck" vibes your way.


Offline Allybean

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Scared cat
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2018, 04:48:04 AM »
My cat peed on the duvet that was overhanging onto the floor on my other halfs side of the bed so as you can expect he shouted and then he closed both cats out of the house and since then she's been acting very fearful of him she will only get off her bed to eat and go toilet he does love her he only shouted and locked them out out of frustration she hasn't peed in the bedroom out of fear she did it because she doesn't like the cat litter we currently use(for the benefit of the other cat) I'm just wondering what I can do to repair the relationship

 


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