Topic: Introducing older cat into household (Read 8760 times)

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #41 on:** April 01, 2014, 15:26:24 PM »

Good luck CC!

CuteCats · « **Reply #40 on:** April 01, 2014, 11:47:38 AM »

Quote from: LouiseJ on March 24, 2014, 14:36:49 PM

It's so weird. He does all the submissive stuff to show he wants to be friends but even next doors cat who is a wuss hisses and spits at him.
It's a shame but yes, like you, we're managing it just about.

Billy's being submissive too. At least when they're submissive they've more chance of fitting in hopefully. I think Patch is gradually coming round to Billy anyway.

Good luck to everyone else introducing cats!

CuteCats · « **Reply #39 on:** March 30, 2014, 13:29:49 PM »

Quote from: cathycat on March 25, 2014, 22:03:38 PM

It was interesting to see this thread as im introducing two cats at the moment.Its really given me hope that my two will co-habit in time.

I'm introducing Billy ( our new semi-feral ) to Kitty and Patch in the house too. I'm hopeful it will work in time. Sometimes it's 2 steps forward and 1 back! Billy is submissive to the Girls, so that's something good.

Patch didn't hiss so much last night but often blocks Billy's path. Kitty has mellowed quite a bit towards Billy since he's been inside more. Has sniffed him without hissing since he's been neutered, although his hormones are still playing him up a bit.

cathycat · « **Reply #38 on:** March 25, 2014, 22:03:38 PM »

It was interesting to see this thread as im introducing two cats at the moment.Its really given me hope that my two will co-habit in time.

LouiseJ · « **Reply #37 on:** March 24, 2014, 14:36:49 PM »

It's so weird. He does all the submissive stuff to show he wants to be friends but even next doors cat who is a wuss hisses and spits at him.
It's a shame but yes, like you, we're managing it just about.

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #36 on:** March 24, 2014, 13:52:03 PM »

Such a shame about Simba! You gave him a home when no-one else would, it's sad that he doesn't know how to relate to other cats

However, it sounds as if - like us - you have found a way to manage the situation for the sake of everyone's well-being.

LouiseJ · « **Reply #35 on:** March 24, 2014, 07:03:34 AM »

Oh well done!!
Nothing changes in my house sadly, Simba is a big overgrown kitten and my girls hiss and spit at him if he gets too close so we've now got a babygate up at the stairs as he can't jump over it. He is free to roam downstairs and they have upstairs until he goes to bed at around 9.
Both girls often sit at the top of the stairs glaring at him although yesterday Luna was chattering away at him like she does to the birds.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #34 on:** March 24, 2014, 00:00:01 AM »

That is all good and sometimes armed neutrality is as good as it gets

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #33 on:** March 23, 2014, 23:45:16 PM »

Well, Cleo has been with us for around 9 months now, so I thought I would update this thread.

Cleo and Alfs are in a state best described as 'armed neutrality', Alfie continues to try and make friends, Cleo continues to tell him to go away! Alfs has become a little braver though and, just in the last couple of weeks, will now come up onto my bed for company if Cleo is already there. He sometimes creeps closer to have a sniff which is when she is most likely to hiss and spit at him.

We are feeding them both on raw food now, we have to feed them seperately otherwise Aflie would gooble Cleo's too - she likes to have a few mouthfulls and then wander off for a few minutes before returning for more. Cleo goes to bed in our 'computer room' with a good supper and Alfs is free to spend the night in our room if he wants. It is a rare night that he doesn't come onto the bed at some stage.

Looking back, I'm sure I rushed the process when Cleo first came to us. I was so eager to get her out of the second bedroom as SlugBoy uses that when he is here and he is allergic to the cats.

It looks as if Cleo is here to stay and she is really affectionate towards humans. It would be nice if she and Alfs could be 'friends' but I will accept the current state where Alfie knows he doesn't have to go away just because Cleo tells him to!

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #32 on:** September 11, 2013, 21:38:45 PM »

Poor Alfs has tried to make friends a couple of times. He trots towards Cleo with his ears pricked and then lies down, waiting for her to make a move. She just ignores him (if she's not chasing him off). She doesn't want a cat friend, she wants exclusive ownership of a human!

Cleo has not been put to bed and Alfs is lying on the floor of our bedroom having failed to catch the moff he was chasing.

LouiseJ · « **Reply #31 on:** September 11, 2013, 17:45:45 PM »

You're doing better than I am.

Simba comes out of his room (we keep them separate when we aren't in) and goes straight upstairs as the girls spend most of their time in our room to say hi, they say

off ( I think) and then its all growls and hisses from the top of the wardrobe.

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #30 on:** September 11, 2013, 16:11:40 PM »

We have continued to try and find a home where Cleo can be an 'only cat', with no success.

Things do seem to be progressing slowly here - two steps forward and one back.

A couple of days ago we had a real breakthrough, Mr S and I were both sat on our bed with a cat on our knee. Cleo was asleep on MrS and Alfie crept up onto my lap. All was Ok for a little while until Cleo woke and saw Alfie there. Then she glared at him and he ran away.

Today Cleo chased Alfie out of the room and down stairs again...

Cleo is now sleeping in the computer room at night and Alfie has the run of the rest of the house. It is about the only time that Alfie will willingly come up onto the bed and stay awhile. He's not really supposed to be in here at night (says MrS) and I'm worried that they seem to be sorting out a day and night system. But it is better than nothing for now!

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #29 on:** August 25, 2013, 20:54:35 PM »

Neighbours had Cleo there for most of the time we were away, but wouldn't take her permanently. I have followed up a couple of other leads too, with no success.

Today we had something of a breakthrough though. Our son was here, so I spent the afternoon in the lounge with Mr S and SlugBoy, rather than resting in my room. Alfie and Cleo spent a couple of hours in the same room without fisticuffs. I won't say that they were totally relaxed, they were keeping an eye on each other, but Alfie did come and lie on my lap for a while. Maybe they view the lounge as 'neutral' territory? If that is the case, perhaps it would help if I spend a couple of hours down there each afternoon?

I will admit that I would love to keep Cleo if we could make things work, she is an adorable little lady.

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #28 on:** August 07, 2013, 17:10:55 PM »

Thanks Louise. If the neighbours want Cleo then I will let her go to them, I know she would be well looked after there. I might consider the animal communicator if Cleo has to stay longer though.

Thanks for your kind words Papillon, I do hope that things work out well for you, Felicity and the kitten.

pappilon · « **Reply #27 on:** August 06, 2013, 21:28:41 PM »

Oh Slugsta i really feel for you and Alfie

You have tried so hard to make this work with Cleo but it seems she likes to be the only cat in the house and get all the attention.
Finger crossed with your MIL neighbour.

LouiseJ · « **Reply #26 on:** August 06, 2013, 20:01:49 PM »

To be honest neither had I but I did some research after Chelsea died as I missed ( and still miss) her so much

Think of it like a psychic that can talk to animals. The lady I used was lovely and helped me a lot although in a similar way, if you believe, that psychics can do when a human passes.

They tune into the animal to speak to them either here or on the other side and can help allay any fears.

I going to give her a buzz about talking to Luna (probably as she is top cat) next week so if you want to hang on with Cleo until then it might be worth seeing what the outcome is.

I want all my cats to be happy together but would accept tolerate but my girls are so insular that they don't want male or female encroaching.

We're two months down the line and have made no progress and I have to keep them separated when we aren't there and with Cleepot hissing and jumping where Simba can't and Luna growling and pooing when he is around I need to take this to the next stage now.

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #25 on:** August 06, 2013, 17:01:04 PM »

I have never heard of an 'animal communicator', please tell me more!

LouiseJ · « **Reply #24 on:** August 06, 2013, 16:46:25 PM »

I really do feel for you. Lets hope MIL's neighbour comes up trumps
We're still making no progress - my giant overgrown kitten won't listen to cat and keeps bounding up to them. My girls are dainty and feisty and are having nothing to do with him apart from telling him to back off in increasingly fruity language.
I'm going to book a session with an animal communicator to see if that helps
Good luck with Cleo.

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #23 on:** August 06, 2013, 16:40:09 PM »

Things are not getting any better here. Worse, if anything. Cleo goes to stay with my MIL in 2 days time. Her neighbours are currently without a cat, so MIL is going to invite them over for coffee while Cleo is there

This morning I was on my bed with Clee on my lap. I had a little cry about letting her go, perhaps there is something I haven't tried, or they need more time...

I didn't hear Alfie sneak up, but Clee did - she chased him out of the room, down the stairs, out of the cat flap, round and round the garden and down the road. Enough! if I let this carry on I will lose Alfie - or Cleo will chase him into the road and they will both come to grief

Fingers crossed that the neighbours come though.

Good news is that Cleo had her blood test this morning; kidneys, liver and glucose all AOK

At least I can pass her over in good health (will get the dental stuff done when I am back from hols).

LouiseJ · « **Reply #22 on:** July 21, 2013, 23:22:33 PM »

It's so tough going I really do understand. Whàtever you decide to do it will be for the best all round.
It can take months

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #21 on:** July 21, 2013, 22:25:13 PM »

Things are pretty much unchanged here. Cleo still insists that she is the boss and Alfie should go away. Alfie is still a wuss!

On the odd occasion when Alfie does get brave and approach Cleo, she sends him away.

Alfie stood at the bottom of the stairs this morning and cried. We had to put Cleo in 'her' room, swap blankies on our bed and carry Alfie upstairs. With the bedroom door shut, we had a nice little game and then he flopped out for an hour or two. If the door isn't closed then A doesn't relax, he's up and off at the slightest sound or movement.

We are 90% certain that we will have to try and find somewhere else for Cleo (like where??) but that 10% keeps niggling at me -is there something I am missing, something I have not done that might help?

Cleo is such a lovely little thing, very affectionate towards people. I hate the thought of letting her go, but I am really not being fair to either cat at the moment

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #20 on:** July 16, 2013, 20:44:24 PM »

I wondered how you were getting on with introducing Simba, I didn't realise what had happened previously.

I have been hankering for a second cat (we had a pair of siblings for 19 years, so it seems strange being a single-cat household) and Mr S was adamant that we wouldn't have another, it is only because this one belonged to his sister that he agreed. Maybe Alfie would have been better with a younger cat, or maybe it's just not meant to be - we shall see.

Alfie spent the afternoon upstairs with me, mostly on the bed. He spat at Cleo's brush when I showed it to him. Cleo was still wailing that she wanted Out so we took her downstairs and Mr S 'supervised' while she had a wander around. They managed to share the room to eat and both had a sniff around but, thankfully, no fisticuffs today!

LouiseJ · « **Reply #19 on:** July 16, 2013, 17:58:20 PM »

Nothing at all which could be any help apart from some sympathy.
We took on two rescue sisters of six months last April and then looked after my MIL's 8 year old princess initially when she was in hospital then with a view to keeping her when MIL passed away but by the time we reached the five month mark we were at the end of our tether as the older girl wanted to rule the roost and was intimidating the younger two to the extent where the more fiesty one of the two developed stress cystitis. We got her better but reluctantly rehomed the other one as she was definitely better suited to being an only cat.
Then I like an idiot fell for a sob story at our local rescue and having been assured that the girls would get on with a boy better we took Simba home who is as daft as he is gorgeous. We did the separation thing then scent swapping, fed the girls with treats outside his room and tentatively let him out.
He just doesn't know that no from either of them means no and just wants to play so when he goes up to them he gets hissed, growled and on some occasions screamed at and rather than slinking off he goes back for more. Luckily he can't jump high so the girls retreat to the top of the wardrobe glaring at him and he just runs around playing. We can't feed them together as he bolts his food and needs raw due to his gingivitis whilst they won't eat it so we let them all try to make sense of it when we're in then he gets shut in a spare room when we are out.
Everyone says it will get better, I just need someone to tell Simba to take notice when they tell him to get lost b

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #18 on:** July 16, 2013, 11:44:58 AM »

We had another 'incident' yesterday. Cleo had finished her tea and strolled over to see what Alfie was doing. Alfie warned her and Cleo flew at him again. As usual, Alfie turned and fled.

It's hard to say how Alfie is taking it, he is out more than usual but this extraordinary weather could well be the reason for that! We haven't had cuddles for a few days, but he is always happy to be stroked and tickled. He hasn't been wanting to play for a few days either but, again, I am blaming the heat for that. He seems happy enough to come in for meals.

Cleo is also desperate to be let out. She prefers not to use the litter tray, although she will if there is no alternative. She has been singing pretty much all morning. She has been here for 3 weeks, so I would normally be happy to start letting her out for a few minutes at a time.

I am really worried that Cleo will scent mark the garden and Alfie will be reluctant to enter 'her' territory, or that she will chase him away altogether. On the other hand, maybe she would be a bit less territorial indoors if she
has access to outside.

Any thoughts or advice please?

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #17 on:** July 15, 2013, 17:34:00 PM »

It seems that she just wants to be boss-cat, it's really not her fault that my beloved Alfie is such a wuss!

We are going away the second week in August and Cleo will go and stay with MIL while Alfie goes into the cattery. I think that is my time limit for seeing some obvious progress (I'm not expecting them to be bosom buddies by then, if ever!). I just want to do what's best for both cats

lau200 · « **Reply #16 on:** July 15, 2013, 10:00:20 AM »

She just wants to be boss! Keep doing as you are hun, its a long process but definately worth it. If she settled fine with your MILs elderly cat, she must see Alfie as a threat as he is younger so it just needs you to be patient while they get used to each other

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #15 on:** July 14, 2013, 21:17:50 PM »

We have continued to feed them together in the evenings but have kept Cleo in 'her' room a bit more to try and let Alfie regain some territory. We now have 2 different blankies to go on our bed, one for each cat.

This evening Cleo caught sight of Alfie before her food and she flew at him, chasing him round and round the room. Cleo was removed from the situation and I gave Alfie lots of fuss - he's outside now, as usual, and Cleo is on 'her' blanket on our bed.

Cleo doesn't seem afraid or upset, she's very settled. It's still Alfie who is finding it all a bit much. I am starting to wonder whether Cleo really needs to be an 'only cat' somewhere?

Dawn F · « **Reply #14 on:** July 04, 2013, 14:17:55 PM »

you do always get the horrible - what have I done! hopefully it will end soon, its very tiring for everyone!

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #13 on:** July 04, 2013, 14:05:19 PM »

We are now feeding them together (opposite ends of the room) in the evening and giving them a bit of time to sort themselves out.

Alfie is gradually learning that he doesn't have to run away just cos Cleo tells him to. I predict fisticuffs at some stage!

I have got a mat/bed and throw that Cleo is not allowed to use, Alfie seems happier to come for a cuddle now and spent several hours on the bed with me this morning.

Cleo really wants to Go Out but it is far too soon for that. Apart from anything else, I need to know that they will each let the other back in!

Cleo was very picky with her food, even though we were giving what she was used to. She would lick the jelly from the wet food and leave the rest - but go mad for dried treats. So we have tried feeding mainly dry food and she seems to approve of this. Her tummy is now a bit runny though, which isn't great when she is shut in a bedroom with the litter tray

I'm starting to believe that we will get this to work in time, which is a definite improvement over last week

lau200 · « **Reply #12 on:** July 04, 2013, 10:16:22 AM »

You are doing well, patience is the main thing. One day you will look back and think why was i so worried

it will all be worth it in the end

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #11 on:** June 30, 2013, 22:59:52 PM »

Patience and loads of it is the key and am sure that Alfie will either learn to just avoid her or get face to face with a few fisty paws.

Lupin jumps over Sasa when he wants to go past and he will not put a paw to her but he will with Misa.........boys like boys and girls dont like boys except she does like Misa!

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #10 on:** June 30, 2013, 22:33:07 PM »

Thanks Gill, so do I!

Alfie has been out for much of the day, so at least Cleo has had the run of the house. Alfie doesn't seem at all bothered by her scent, it's just face-to-face that frightens him.

Several friends, who have cats, have said that I should just let Cleo out of the bedroom and let them get on with it - but that, to me, sounds like a recipe for losing Alfie! I think I need to find some way of opening the bedroom door but keeping the 2 cats apart, that way they could get used to each other a bit more without the chance of physical confrontation.

I'm starting to wonder whether we have done the wrong thing in taking Cleo on...

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #9 on:** June 29, 2013, 20:11:40 PM »

Poor Cleo and hope Alfie gets braver quickly

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #8 on:** June 29, 2013, 19:02:32 PM »

Alfie has settled down enough to be happy coming upstairs, to be near me, again after a couple of days where he spent a lot of time downstairs on his own. We had a couple of lovely play sessions with the Frantic Frenzy and he was happy to play on the landing and right outside Cleo's room. Cleo has been downstairs in the lounge when Alfie was out, Alfie doesn't seem at all bothered by her scent. I have also been switching their litter trays so that Alfie gets her smell (although he's not really using the tray at the moment as he is out playing when the weather is nice).

So we put Cleo back into the quarantine cage earlier this afternoon. Once more, Alfie put his head round the door and legged it as soon as he saw Cleo!

Poor Cleo really Wants Out and I hate feeling like her gaoler

Liz · « **Reply #7 on:** June 27, 2013, 19:08:07 PM »

Have to say when I bought Miss Millie diabetic is she was 15 and we were her last hope having had 2 diabetics previously I opened the box and she strutted out and let the youngsters know as only a tortie can that she didn't need sniffed or bothered and a year on life is pretty much the same

Having introduced Supernova at the weekend she had one night in isolation in my ensuite she is now bounding around with the ones similar in age to her and nobody has batted an eyelid - so greatful my lot are so accepting of newbies and dogs

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #6 on:** June 27, 2013, 18:03:36 PM »

I didnt realize how a female cat can intimidate a young boy cat till I saw Sasa and Lupin....I think Ducha and Napoleon who were older than her didnt let her get away with it LOL

Misa is huge but Lupin tries to say I am boss

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #5 on:** June 27, 2013, 17:14:01 PM »

Thanks for that link SM, it is very helpful. The truth is that it is still very early days and I cannot rush things, no matter how much I would like to!

Cleo seems quite a character. She has shown no sign of timidity, hasn't wanted to hide away at all! She is very purry and loves lots of attention, her only obvious problem being that she Wants Out.

I don't have any alternative other than a cage to separate them. The child-gates that I am thinking of might be able to stop Alfie getting through but Cleo would get through with no problem. We don't have anywhere they could see each other through glass, which is why we borrowed the cage.

Alfie faced down a dog that came into the house recently, I didn't expect him to run away from another cat! Of course, he has no concept of what a big lad he is. Cleo has a very raucous meow, Alfie probably thinks she is much bigger than him! He is my baby and my prime concern (although, of course, we want Cleo to be happy and settled here too), it is worth doing whatever is needed to make this work.

SamMewl · « **Reply #4 on:** June 27, 2013, 16:45:58 PM »

I woundn't put Alfie in the cage, as he is already acting intimidated by Cleo and as a male cat may well feel intimidated by a female newcomer.

Want you are doing is all good. Letting Cleo out for a wander when Alfie is out will be good for both of them. Do you have an alternative to a cage in separating them? We had a successful introduction when two cats we adopted out were not getting on, the owner managed to get them used to each other because of a internal window where the two cats could see each other while they got used to ecach other, baby gates can work too (if they are tall enough!)

Putting cleo in a cage occasionally may help, jsut make sure they both have a place where they feell safe - and the main thing is be patient

so even though you want things to be resolved quicker for you and them you may have to just take it slow.
cats take their time, i have had two cats that really didn't get on. i despaired (and felt guilty) for 6 months. They have been happy and friendly with each other ever since.

some good tips here http://animalbehaviorist.us/cats/strategies_for_successful_new_cat_integration?goback=.gde_89180_member_252

good luck x

Lyn (Slugsta) · « **Reply #3 on:** June 27, 2013, 16:36:12 PM »

Alfie is reluctant to even come upstairs at the moment, although I have managed to lure him up with Dreamies! We have had a nice little game, but he doesn't want to come on my lap as he usually does. I guess it is just a case of being patient - I'm not good at that.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #2 on:** June 27, 2013, 14:36:30 PM »

I dont think that Cleo should be left in a cage for hours, maybe an hour at a time and sure Alfie will come round when gets used to her.

It could be that Alfie will not be allowed close to her even if he wants , which is the case between Lupin and Sasa. She meeps or hisses and he runs away........sometimes just a look will do it.

You need to give Alfie loads of attention so he knows he is still loved.

Author Topic: Introducing older cat into household (Read 8760 times)