Hi yes fab job and I agree fully with everyone, all their advice and that she might never be one to be held but slow and steady is the way to go. It'll b worth it
Sorry about the length, I hope you don't mind...
Our
sol
was a rescue feral, her life before meeting us was poor
im so glad sol chose us but we still had to build up her trust and her health. I used to sit in her line of sight, sol had lots of safe places, her fav was ontop of our wardrobe. I would occasionally give her slow blinks, talking softly but no direct looks or confrontation. I just made sure she knew she was safe and gave her time. About a week we'd bonded, she would follow me around, chat to me, but never too close. She would even follow me walking around our house outside.
Sol was never big on play, she didn't seem to know what it was but I recommend if u can, incorporate it. Sol now does enjoy play but i think she hadnt experienced it before.
Eventually Solitaire came closer, I would(still do) hold my fist out to her (not just hand, it's best with a loose fist, it is simular to shape and size of a feline head) eventually she began nudging my fist with her head, a cats way of saying hi, many give each other affectionate head bumps. That way she could sniff my hand, when she was ready to be touched she head fist bumped me. I do this when meeting all cats, that and blinks usually means I get to stroke them. I also show my friends and their children who want to say hi to sol but are struggling, you be surprised how quickly a cat reacts positively to an offered fist.
Eventually Sol sat next to me, then omg sat on me.
It felt like forever getting to this point, she always wanted to be near me but not sure about sitting on me lol I didn't move a muscle for hours, hardly dare breath lol.
Now sol thinks she's my mum. She looks after me, i also get prods (head/paw), pummles and nudges (paws) when she wants stroking or to play. Ive got a few health issues and Solitaire helps remind me of things like time for meds/my food/rest etc.
But she is still not a fan of cuddles, unless she is giving them, ie not being picked up, it's 12yrs later and me and hubby are entitled to the odd few seconds of cuddling picking her up in our arms. Sol is much happier being on us than in our arms.
I've just remembered---
Another good idea is start by trying to stroke her using a feather brush or something soft attached to a long handle, so you have a safe distance, plus the object isn't related to you, start small, a few seconds with treats. Also learn her body language, it's really easy to learn, just be observant, plus there's lots of guides but remember they are individuals so might have their own quirks in their language, eg our sol is like a gun hound with a bobbly head, she will point us to something by staring at it then looking from it to us to it again.
Another thing that I
Cat lady have always done is mimic sols voice, I talk with her, this was one of the ways we first bonded, I spoke in English softly and mirroring her meows. I can now usually recognise what she's meowing eg if she's calling me, I call back and sol runs to me, when she's trying to find out where I've gone. The other day I was calling her, using her calling meows, and another cat sat popped up and mowed quizzically then came up to me, it seemed as if it was saying I'm here whyd you call? Lol aww
And yes the cat daddy -Jackson galaxy- excellent, but yes I agree with funkiechicken, he does use what I've bn doing naturally all my life, tho it's great to see I'm not mad
and he does great.
