Author Topic: More help socialising our shy cat  (Read 2843 times)

Offline Fire Fox

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Re: More help socialising our shy cat
« Reply #11 on: October 22, 2010, 22:58:04 PM »
Thanks everyone!!

Feel good knowing others have had similar experiences. Weirdly someone i work with told me she adopted a cat last year and for about 8 months she wouldn't come near her, now she sleeps on her chest when she goes to bed.

The little monster seems much happier today actually, she's lying on one of the dining room chairs as i type this (pic attached!). I'm sure i'm being ridiculous about all this, i suppose when i think about how she was two months ago i realise how much can change in a few weeks. I will continue how we're going and see what happens. Though might get an extra tray for her if we need to put her in the spare room when we have visitors round in a few weeks.

Any more tips would be fantastic!!

 :Luv2: She looks right at home! You are not being ridiculous, no more so than any of the Purrs crew - it is obvious you care so will fit right in here!  :hug:

I would suggest getting a second tray established well before you have visitors, maybe even a hidey hole too (cardboard box with her own blanket in) so she can get used to it as a safe place to go. I actually put Noah's old tray in the new position and his new tray in the old position, on the basis that he would be able to smell the new position IYSWIM ... but it was was not used for a couple of weeks! :tired:

When I only had the one tray I noticed subtle signs of Noah 'needing to go' even tho he seemed relaxed to my guests (playing). Like many cats, Noah does not like to use a dirty tray and prefers to examine both facilities before making his decision. :rofl: For your girl a second tray might help her get accustomed to using more of the flat? ;)
:'( My beautiful Noah rescued 13/02/09, adopted 11/10/09, taken 11/02/11 :'( You deserved so much more.
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Offline Liz

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Re: More help socialising our shy cat
« Reply #10 on: October 21, 2010, 21:56:42 PM »
I socialise a lot of feal cats - I have 30 along with a domestic per sets of ferals and find that Zylkene popped on to the food helps to and also some rescue remedy in the water bowl all help in the taming process - I also have some shy cats and use
these on them to when they are not being overly socialble when we have visitors

I also plug in a Feliway diffuser or 6 when we have visitors as our ferals hate changes in routine as do my handrears they are very much parent only cats

Also feather sticks and catnip sacks or toys are a great way of relaxing them - I have one foster who didn't like catnip so she has a hoeysuckle and valarian sack and loves it to death and she is much happier she is a little bit of a physco she claws before allowing strokes but is also being treat fed extra nice things and finding that she now looks for her treats and she is not slashing so much now

Time is the best thing to let them settle in to a routine that works for all of you - I also have 2 kittens who basically have no regard for anyones space and help the  older ferals understand playtime whether they are ready or not :rofl:

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Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: More help socialising our shy cat
« Reply #9 on: October 21, 2010, 21:45:13 PM »
She looks gorgeous  ;D

Offline Alex S

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Re: More help socialising our shy cat
« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2010, 21:42:57 PM »
Thanks everyone!!

Feel good knowing others have had similar experiences. Weirdly someone i work with told me she adopted a cat last year and for about 8 months she wouldn't come near her, now she sleeps on her chest when she goes to bed.

The little monster seems much happier today actually, she's lying on one of the dining room chairs as i type this (pic attached!). I'm sure i'm being ridiculous about all this, i suppose when i think about how she was two months ago i realise how much can change in a few weeks. I will continue how we're going and see what happens. Though might get an extra tray for her if we need to put her in the spare room when we have visitors round in a few weeks.

Any more tips would be fantastic!!




Offline tab

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Re: More help socialising our shy cat
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2010, 19:47:28 PM »
I forgot to say ( and I dont recomend this) but Mogs actually got more confident as I got Amber. Possibly because being totally ignorant I brought Amber in put her in front of Mogs and said here you go have a friend. Amber did settle in and taught Mogs to play and be trusting to me. In a strange way it seemed that Mogs knew she had to teach Amber so that made her boss and more confident
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Offline tab

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Re: More help socialising our shy cat
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2010, 19:45:04 PM »
It sounds like prgress to me.
When I first got Mogs I was totally unexperienced with cats and let her dictate how things went. She hated confined spaces but also was freaked out by open spaces. She would use the tray in front of me and kind of glare at me as though she was doing something wrong. She never became a lap cat but as time passed it turned out that as long as she could see me she was happy. If I wasnt upset she wasnt, if I was she hid.
She ahted being brushed until I got her a zoom groom (?plastic brush thing) and after realising I wasnt about to scratch her skin off loved it. She never did get into interactive play but would happily destroy mice with a sheepish look at me as if to say yeah I know Im too old for this but.....

Let her take her time and you will find you have a loving loyal cat
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Offline Angiew

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Re: More help socialising our shy cat
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2010, 19:29:58 PM »
It may be that she will not progress more.
My shy Ginge (soon to be a star on C4 animal madhouse!) has been her for 5 years or so and still can go into panic mode when surprised. Though I do have to say that picking him up for the filming does seem to have helped so it may just be pushing her a little every so often will help.

Offline jezebel

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Re: More help socialising our shy cat
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2010, 19:18:31 PM »
Quote
now purrs and shows real affection more often but only when she feels like it,

So do all cats, shy or not!

From what you've said, she's clearly making progress so I think it's just time. I have a shy cat too, and some days it can seem like she's going backwards rather than progressing. I just want to see her relaxed and enjoying herself but I'm impatient so it can feel very frustrating at times.

One thing I've learnt is that socialising a shy cat is not a dark art - it's time and patience. And cat treats. And toys!

BTW, my cat loves is being brushed, so that might be worth a try. She finds it very calming (I think it must remind her of her mother washing her when she was a kitten) and it's certainly helped us to bond.
You can't change the world by rescuing one cat, but for that one cat you are changing its world.

Offline Fire Fox

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Re: More help socialising our shy cat
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2010, 10:21:25 AM »
You only mention one litter tray, often cats prefer to have a choice of trays - more so for a timid cat as they will need time to bury their doings so predators cannot smell their whereabouts. I find it helpful to have a second tray in the bedroom ( :sick: ) because I can then shut Noah away in safety if I have noisy visitors or workmen coming in and out of the flat. Inappropriate soiling is stressful for cat AND owner, them 'holding on' is unhealthy.

If the Feliway is having an positive effect it would seem wise to me to replace it. Agree with Gillian that using food as a training aid can be very effective; there are loads of clicker training videos on YouTube. Also think about how you are sitting and standing when in the same room as your little girl, bear in mind how huge we must look to them as we approach or loom above.  :( Better to allow/ encourage her to come to you, rather than risk setting back progress by her thinking you are attacking her place of safety.

I thought it was telling that you say you "desperately want her to finally feel ..." Remember you are only eight weeks on from her hiding 24/7 when even normally cautious cats can take many months to settle. You have made substantial progress but it may be this cat has never been properly socialised with humans - she may only know how to relate to other cats and now she is with a species who cannot read her body language.  :-[
:'( My beautiful Noah rescued 13/02/09, adopted 11/10/09, taken 11/02/11 :'( You deserved so much more.
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Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: More help socialising our shy cat
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2010, 00:42:33 AM »
 :welcome: to Purrs  ;D

I think she is doing very well considering her history but part of the socializing process is making her feel safe...................you may already be doing this  :innocent:

She needs places to hide and to be able to go to to get away from what scares her..........you LOL

So i think you need upturned boxes with a hole cut in side for her to be able to hide in but watch and maybe a curtained off area to go to as well.

Do you have a cat tree where she can climb up above your height when you are sitting, cats feel safe up high.

Now let me explain that I have a semi-feral that I cannot stroke or get near after 5 years.............we are going through a bad time just now cos she went to vets 2 months ago and she has a long memory!

Food sounds like a key for you and her and would suggest that you use it to train her to come to you. Start with her wet food dish to be where it is now in relation to where you are. The idea would be for that dish to be removed after she has finished eating. Then move the dish about a foot nearer to you and when she has eaten with you in that position for 3 or 4 meals, then move it a foot closer to you, and so on . When she is eating by your feet then the next stage will be to get her to eat from your hand...................I know this works if done slowly and carefully cos Sasa got to this point.

By the sound of your cat............whats her name?...........she maybe will come round before this but you need to not scare her.

I would play with the fishing rod when she is out but be sitting down and not moving around when you do this.

See how this goes and pursonally I would keep the feliway going.


Offline Alex S

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More help socialising our shy cat
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2010, 23:54:50 PM »
Hi everyone,

I must apologise for what is going to be a very long winded post, i want to get a fair bit of background info in.

My girlfriend and i adopted a 2-5 year-old neutered female tabby about three months ago, we live in a large two bed 4th floor flat and she was rehomed to us (from battersea) as in indoor cat from a nine cat household and has never had any inclination to go outside and extremely timid.

When she first arrived she spent a week in a small bedroom and adjoining hallway and hid in every tiny gap in that room (often face first in the corner behind the door) but finally settled behind a propped up picture where she stayed for around three weeks even after the living room to explore.

She has used her litter tray almost without fault, the only blip being a wee under the sofa before she became bold enough to wander over to her tray with us in the room, unfortunately she managed to get some wee on some wires under there which transferred the smell onto the sofa after inadequate cleaning and led to her going on the cushions twice since, however once it was cleaned she's not been back there to do her business. Her eating has been spot on and recently has learnt to ration her biscuits to last all day while we're out (something that i think she had problems with in her last household because of the other cats) instead of wolfing them as fast as possible!

Her shyness has improved no end but i feel we've hit a wall in the last couple of weeks which is why i'm asking for some help!

She's now fine using the tray infront of us (sometimes during our dinner time, thanks) and now purrs and shows real affection more often but only when she feels like it, she'll also wander around and play with her mouse while we're in the room and also likes to spring up and down the hallway at about 4am every morning (regular as clockwork).

The only thing i'm concerned about at this point is how terrified she gets when caught in the open with either of us, it always leads to her darting under the sofa or table and often recoiling afterwards when we go to stroke her. The exception being when there's the possibility of food in which case, she'll hang about. We have tried playing with her but this is only acceptable when the feathery wand is dangled infront of her hiding place where she can have a good swipe, anywhere else and she's terrified again. She's not a catnip cat form the looks of things so chilling her out with that won't work either. She's on zylkene and had a feliway diffuser which has run out and probably won't be replaced yet to see how she copes. Outside of the living room is a different story, only in the way that we become even more scary there and she wont even come close despite often wandering in there, if she's already in there when we come in, she will charge out. She will sit in there when we're going to sleep but that's about it!

If there is anyone out there who has had experience with socialising extremely shy cats i would love to hear from you, i desperately want her to finally feel like she rules the roost and to be completely comfortable with us after the stressful time she had in her last home. Any secret tips anyone knows of to make being in an open space with either of us more bearable or even appealing would be fantastic as it seems the only interaction she will tolerate is under cover of something when we go to her and as she never comes out to us outside of meal times. We have room to get a playmate for her and have considered it but given her history i think this would do far more harm than good.

There seems to be a lot of experts on this board, and i'm sure i'll get some great advice, really sorry for rambling and i can't wait to hear what you have to say!!!

 


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