Author Topic: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.  (Read 14099 times)

Offline Millys Mum

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #21 on: January 08, 2009, 18:52:45 PM »
Sorry to hear about Edward   :hug: :hug: :hug:
Its always difficult to know when to let go, let your vet guide you and keep in mind its quality over quantity, whilst hes happy your doing ok


Offline bonnielass

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #20 on: January 08, 2009, 18:47:29 PM »
Hi 2d im so sorry your having such a bad time at the moment, but sweetheart we have all been there and the support you will get on here is fantastic, its a heartbreaking decision to make but believe me you will know when the time comes :( so make the most of your time with Eddie and lots of love and cuddles for him and  hugs for you too. :hug:  :hug:  :hug:
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Offline Kirst

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #19 on: January 08, 2009, 18:23:21 PM »
Hi 2d and welcome.

Sorry your first post is on such a sad note - we had to have Oscar PTS last April an it was the first time for me too - I knew it was coming like you , and also dreaded not knowing but in the end I could see it in his eyes that it was time to say goodbye.

I found this poem soon after and it really helped.

If It Should Be

 
If it should be I grow frail and weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you should do what must be done
For this last battle can’t be won.

You will be sad - I - understand
Don’t let your grieve then stay your hand,
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love and friendship stand the test.

We've had so many happy years
What is to come will hold no fears,
You'd not want me to suffer, so
When the time comes - please let me go.
 
 Take me where my needs they'll tend,
Only stay with me to till the end,
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you too will see,
It is a kindness you do for me
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Do not grieve that it should be you
Who has decided this thing to do
We've been so close - we two-these years
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.
 



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Offline swampmaxmum

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #18 on: January 08, 2009, 18:23:01 PM »
Hello 2d,

I'm so very sorry to read about Edward, your much loved Eddy-Puss. I hope he has more time with you than you think, but if your time is short, try to enjoy every special second with him. I know it is so hard as your inclination is just to cry all the time and think about his loss. Everyone on Purrs is lovely and supportive and understands how deeply we love our little ones, when often the world out there doesn't understand your sorrow over 'a cat'. I'm so sorry that Edward's been unlucky to fall so terribly ill at such a relatively young age and I am sure that you will know from him when he's had enough. A big hug to both you and your husband and purrs for Edward  :hug:

Offline Sam (Fussy_Furball)

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #17 on: January 08, 2009, 16:40:10 PM »
Hi 2d,

I'm so sorry you've joined us at such a sad time  :hug:  We all understand that our special furry friends are not "just cats" they are little hairy members of the family and are as much loved (sometimes more so) than any human  ;)

As the others on here have said you will know when the time is right to let Eddy-puss cross over.  He will let you know  :hug:

Enjoy your remaining time with your special friend (take lots of photos and spoil him rotten).

We are all here for you to offer support and a "cyber" shoulder to cry on.  Sadly too many of us know the pain and heartache that is associated with having to make the decision of letting a friend go ... but it is the greatest gift we can give them by allowing them to go without pain, suffering and with dignity.

Take care

Sam xxxx
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Offline Janeyk

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #16 on: January 08, 2009, 16:29:57 PM »
Hi 2d  :) I'm very sorry to hear about your dear cat Edward as others have said do join us for support when you need to  :hug:
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Offline Tiggy's Mum

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #15 on: January 08, 2009, 16:18:39 PM »
Sorry you're joining us in such sad circumstances  :hug:

It's heartbraking to have to let an animal that we have loved and cherished go but when the time comes it really is the greatest gift you can give him.  I had to have my childhood cat of 19 years put to sleep almost two years ago now.  I was absolutely devastated and still miss her but I know I did the right thing for her.  I found this poem very poignant...

The Greatest Gift

I always knew this time would come,
From the very instant our eyes first met.
How I loved you then! How I love you now!
I made a promise then, and I will keep that promise now...
You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal;
You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone.

It is for me alone to make this decision,
The price for the bright joy and pure laughter
You brought me during the time we shared.
I am the only one who can decide when it is time.
When my hope dies, and my fear rides high,
Just when I need you most, I must let you go.

It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready
For without your guidance, I will not know
When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger
My sorrow and my selfish heart aside
And give you this last gift, this greatest gift.
Your eyes will speak to mine, and I will know.

The pain of this moment is excruciating.
Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow.
And my heart drowns in a pool of grief.
For you have spoken and I have listened,
And unlike other decisions I have made
This one brings no relief...no comfort...no peace.

For if there's one thing you've taught me,
If there's only one thing I've learned...
Unconditional love has a condition after all,
I must be willing to let you go, when you speak to me
I must be willing to help you go, if you cannot go alone.
And I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.

Go easily now, go quickly now,
Do not linger here, it is time for you to leave.
Go find your strength, go find your youth.
Go find the ones who've gone before you.
You are free to leave me now, free to let your spirit soar
Rest easy now, your pain will soon be gone.

I pray I will find comfort in my memories...
In the dark and lonely days ahead.
I cannot say I will not miss you, I cannot say I will not cry.
For only my tears can heal my broken heart.
But, I promise you this; as long as I live,
You will live, alive in my mind, forever in my heart.

So I give you this last gift, all I have left to give,
And this will be my greatest gift...sending you away.
It is the measure of my unconditional love...
For only the greatest love can say,
"Goodbye, go find the bridge, we'll meet again,
Loving you has been the greatest gift of all."

Forever and Always... Until Rainbow bridge....




Online CarolM (Wendolene)

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #14 on: January 08, 2009, 16:05:51 PM »
Thank you all so much.

The thing that's worrying me most of all is not having the strength to let go when I know I have to.

Sorry - have been bottling things up for weeks.

I'm so sorry you are suffering so  :hug:-  There's no such thing as 'just a cat' to those of us who have welcomed these wonderful creatures into our lives - they are family and we feel their pain and loss just as much as we would the pain and loss of a child because we are responsible for them.  It will be hard to let go - there's no denying that - but the very fact that you are worried about having the strength to do so shows that you WILL find that strength and we will all be here for you.  In the meantime enjoy the time you have left with Eddy-puss. 

Offline sheryl

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #13 on: January 08, 2009, 15:49:23 PM »
You will know when it is time Hun and you will find the strength to let go, it is one of the hardest things in the world but when that dreaded time comes we owe it to the furbabies that we love.   :hug:

We will all be here for you, there have honestly been times when I wouldnt have been able to cope without my friends here on Purrs (I had to have 2 furbabies PTS less than 4 weeks apart)
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Offline Michelle (furbabystar)

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #12 on: January 08, 2009, 15:38:26 PM »
I am so sorry to read this -

I think You will know when it's time, also be guided by your vet  :hug:

Stay on this board, between us we will help you through this. Many on here have had to make that decision and its never easy.

xxxx

Offline 2d

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #11 on: January 08, 2009, 15:33:02 PM »
Thank you all so much.

The thing that's worrying me most of all is not having the strength to let go when I know I have to.

I've had cats for years - since I was a kid, but those that are gone - they've all died suddenly - one hit by a car and died from his injuries, one taken ill and died so quickly that we never had chance to get him to the vet - that kind of thing.

I've never had to have one put to sleep before, and I'm worried that I won't know when it's time, or won't be able to let him go, and that he'll be in pain...


Sorry - have been bottling things up for weeks.

Offline sheryl

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #10 on: January 08, 2009, 15:12:49 PM »
Welcome to Purrs Hun - sorry the circumstances are so sad, your are obviously hurting so much at the moment and my heart really goes out to you xxx

Thinking of you and Eddy Puss xxx sending love, huggles and positive vibes for Ed and big  :hug: for you.

Just cherish every moment with him and I am sure that when the time comes you will find the strength to do what has to be done for your little one xxx
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Offline Jess's Mum (Sue)

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #9 on: January 08, 2009, 15:10:17 PM »
Hi 2d ((COMFORT HUGS)) I am so sorry.. I wish I could help.. but please know we are here for you whenever you need us ok

I may not know what to say or do but I will have a damned good try .. my thoughts and wishes are with u all

 :care:

Offline Christie

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #8 on: January 08, 2009, 15:09:54 PM »
Hi 2d; so sorry to hear about Eddy-puss. Your story is similar to what I went through a tad over a year ago with my Lucia who became ill suddenly with an aggressive cancerous chest tumor. We had to make the hard decision on 1 January, 2008, and I miss her every day.

They aren't "just" cats, that's for sure! Lucia was my best friend and my daughter; I lived alone for most of the years I had her, and she was an amazing comfort to me in so many ways. You're among friends here, many of us have had to face this type of loss, and it does help to have people who can empathize with you.

I hope Eddy-puss stays comfortable, and you are able to spend as much good-quality time with him as possible.

Offline Purrlishious

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2009, 15:04:46 PM »
Hi 2d
How sad your story is & how it hurts so much. My heart aches reading your post.

You are very welcomed here amongst those who can understand what you must be feeling like right now.

Special thoughts to you & Eddy puss.

Offline Bryony84

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2009, 14:30:03 PM »
Welcome to Purrs, I'm so sorry you have joined us in such sad circumstances but this really is the most kind, caring and supportive forum I've ever been on and everyone here will help you through whatever the future holds for you and your furry family.

Loads of  :hug: to you, your husband and of course to Eddy puss

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Offline **TINA**

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2009, 14:27:51 PM »
Bless you all, it is hard hun, and i understand as been there and many other have be to.
Purrs will help youget thru this.
I have tears now just thinking what your all goin thru.
he will know just how much he is loved.

 :hug: to you & Eddy-puss  :care: xxx
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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2009, 14:26:05 PM »
Hi,
So sorry to hear about Eddy puss - no they are not just cats are they ? I understand how you feel , my cats are my life as i live on my own and admiteddly they are pretty spoilt!
Everyone on this forum will know how you are feeling , we all love and adore our cats.
Its sad you have joined under such circumstances -you will get loads of support on here - we are all /mostly mad cat people .
Take care and sending big  :hug: :hug: to Eddy-puss.

Offline Maddiesmum

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2009, 14:23:05 PM »
Welcome to Purrs and I am so sorry it is in such sad circumstances that you have joined the family here.  I am so sorry to read about your Eddy Puss and can only say that I hope his remaining time with you is long.  He is obviously a much loved puss and he will know that.  I think you have made the right decision re the vet coming to your home to save Eddy any further stress.  You will find you will get lots of practical as well las moral support from the peeps on here they are lovely.  Please keep us updated on your lovely boy, better still, post some pix of him.  :hug:

Offline Dawn F

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Re: Am new - cat's dying.
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2009, 14:22:53 PM »
sorry you've joined at such a bad time for you, at least it sounds like your vet is on top of everything - sadly this kind of thing is the price we pay for having all the good times - hope you have more good times to come

Offline 2d

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Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2009, 14:10:08 PM »
Never posted here,before, though I've been reading for a couple of weeks.

Am sorry that my first post is such a sad one (will go to the newbies bit and introduce myself at some point).

One of our lovely cats, Edward, (Eddy-puss) was diagnosed with terminal cancer shortly before Christmas. 

He's not doing too badly for the time being, but it's an aggressive cancer, and he won't last much longer.

The vet is completely baffled, as the very first symptom was a lump that appeared one night (for a change, we'd been out all day) on his hip, causing a very slight limp (that was on the 21st November (I remember because it was the anniversary of my Dad's death)).  But there was nothing else - no extra drinking, no changes in behaviour, nothing. 
He had lost weight, about 300g, but there was an issue with our other two cats pushing him out of his food that we'd only just discovered and put an end to - even the vet says that wasn't down to the cancer as he started gaining weight again when the bullying was stopped (by us standing over them as they eat). 

Fortunately he wasn't diagnosed for a few weeks, because I and my boyfriend got married the week after that!

But when he was diagnosed, the results were that it's a very aggressive cancer that can't be treated.  The tumour around his leg (which is now mostly under the leg) is the secondary tumour.  Despite a truck load of x-rays they can't find the primary one.  The vet said she'd never known such an aggressive cancer to not have any warning signs.  Since the cancer has either spread through his blood stream or his spinal cord, there's no hope anyway because it's just too far gone. 

He also went blind a few weeks ago.  Again, the vet had never seen it before, and isn't sure if it's down to the cancer or a stand alone thing that would've happened anyway (she says she thinks it's a form of retinal detachment, but isn't 100% sure because he can sometimes still see light / dark, and he sometimes reacts to bright light).

He's ok for the time being - not in pain, and still enjoying eating and cuddles, and still just about able to get around (he has arthritis in the same back leg that the tumor's on), but he's slowly fading, and in truth I don't think it's going to be long before we have to call the vet to end it.

We've arranged for the vet to come to us, so he doesn't have to be scared by the journey again - I can't bear the thought of him being scared in his last hours - he hates going outside at the best of times, and with not being able to see, and not being used to that, any unfamiliar noises are terrifying to him.



As I said, I'm sorry that my first post is about this - I'm not coping with it brilliantly because, of the three we have, he's my baby - he's always been the one I've had the greatest connection with - the most timid one, and the one that occasionally needed pulling out & looking after if the play got too rough, the one who would come to see me most often for a play and a cuddle.  That makes it so much harder.  And he's only 9 (with us for nearly 6 years since we got him and his litter brother from a shelter).


Thank you if you've read this far - I just needed to get it out to somebody who will understand that he's not 'just a cat'.  Can't talk to husband because he's nearly as upset as me.

« Last Edit: January 16, 2009, 18:20:08 PM by 2d »

 


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