Feeling sorry for myself...

[clarenmax]

Glad you've got it worked out 

[Team Svartalfheims]

That's brilliant!  Really pleased for you 

[littleKitten_(alex)]

Thank you all so very much. You have no idea how much your input helped! After reading all your thoughts, I realised that it would be fine to leave the cats again, and to go away for X-mas. Before, I'd thought it wasn't really an option, but all of a sudden I felt like we actually had a choice! And sometimes that really changes your outlook - you know, when something's impossible, that very fact can sometimes make it seem so much more attractive.

So, once the obstacle of thinking going away for X-mas wasn't an alternative had been removed, we were free to decide what we ACTUALLY wanted to do. And we realised that it would be much nicer to stay at home over X-mas (having just been away on holiday, it would be a bit stressful to go away again so soon), and pop over to Sweden in the new year instead. More relaxing - and it's generally easier to get time to see people when you're not there during the holidays!

I'll probably pop over for a day or two before X-mas to exchange gifts, and then OH and I will have a relaxing X-mas. It was actually quite nice when we did that last year... except for me having to cook ALL the Swedish X-mas food and ALL the English stuff, both at OH's request.

Also, one of OH's brothers is spending X-mas here in London at his in-laws, so we'll be able to meet up with him and his family, which will be nice.

Again, thank you! 

So thanks for helping me make up my mind!

[em1209]

I agree with the others comments, I think you should go back home for Christmas, for me that's what Christmas is all about. Your furbabes will be absolutely fine in the cattery, they will be well looked after and cared for and then you can spend some relaxing, quality time with your family. You say you are really close to your grandparents, I'm sure they would really appreciate and love to see you. My grandpa died last year just before Christmas and last week my best friends mum died, so it's all just making me realise how short life is and how important it is to make that effort to see the ones you love and who mean so much to you.

We had a wedding to go to on the bank holiday weekend in August (2 nights), were going away with OH's parents for their 40th wedding anniversery a week later (5 nights) and then another wedding at the end of Sept (2 nights). I booked Fergus and Polly in to a cattery for all 3 and as they were only 17 weeks for the first one I felt so guilty. They got on fine for the first stay. Then when I had to take them back less than a week later I felt awful, such a bad meowmy, but they hopped out the carrier, quickly clambered up the scratchy tree with a pleased look on their faces as if to say, yay, look what we can do, we love it!! So they were absolutely fine, kind of like taking your children to school for the first time I imagine. I've booked them in over Christmas and to be honest feel fine with leaving them (obviously I'll miss them like crazy and am still not sure how Father Christmas will know where they are  , I think the cattery might think I'm completely mad if I take some presents for them to open as well!!!) as I know they are in safe hands and I completely feel at ease with and trust the cattery.

Good luck with whatever you decide, I think you know deep down what you really want though, big hugs 

[clarenmax]

I would have to agree with everyone else, either go back to yours for Christmas, or do a trip just before or just after    There are so many families who don't get on for whatever reason, I think it would be such a shame to miss out on a trip to your family who you obviously adore.

Yeah you'll miss the furries, and they'll miss you too, but family is important 

[SpecialRed]

My advice sweety, GO HOME. Seriously family are important and its obvious you want to go. Your cats are hardy animals and another couple of weeks is not going to kill them or make them resent you and either way you have plenty of time to make it up to them. From what you wrote is obvious that your not  exactly a 'I cant live without my cat' person, you'll simply miss them alot, just as I would. Ok put it like this, imagine having an ace christmas with your family and having your cats greet you when you get home, its a no brainer really.

Its not the best place to ask for advice about leaving your cat Sorry Try Woofs in our hearts!!

[hannah (weeny)]

i think you should organise to home for christmas sweets - the cats will be ok, and if there's space in the cattery still...  think it would be sad not to go and then sit around regretting it.   like i said - the cats will be ok, you'll miss them, they'll miss you, but it'll be ok.   
it sounds like you really need to see your family xx

[ClaireR]

Hi Alex,  

Sorry to hear you are low.  I only live down the road from my parents, but my brother lives down south and is an officer in the Navy and so he is away for long spells and I miss him terribly when he is away, so I understand.

Another option might be to visit on your own before Xmas?  Although it is nice to go away with your OH - you will have been away together as you say, so you could go and visit them before Xmas and he could stay behind to look after cats?  My OH and I have a holiday together and then we split other holidays so one of us is home for the cats e.g - he goes away and plays golf and I often have a holiday with my parents (sad I know at 34, but like you, I love spending time with them!).  

Just a thought, but that way you could take prezzies over ready for Xmas and not feel guilty about the cats and plus your OH has a week of peace away from you (which my OH tells me is great!!)

Claire xx

[CurlyCatz]

Hi Alex.  I have just read your post but not any of the others as yet.

Personally have your 2 wks holiday then re book poppy and monkey back in the cattery and go home for xmas.  Your mum has been ill and you miss your grandparents who i am guessing like everyone else will be ageing (even my granny was 70 this year  )

An extra week or 5 days whatever wont be that bad for the cats and whilst i know you'd feel guilty and miss them terribly it is only a few days for them which you can make up for every other day of the year, each day you spend with your family would be so precious as you cannot see them everyday. 

I have not got such a close family that you speak of but I do know you will regret it eventually missing all this xmas and time with them, both monkey and poppy are very young and heathly and there may come a day when that isnt the case and you just cannot leave them but just now you can and i think you should.

Alternatively you could look into the pet passport for future years but i'd book the flights now if i were you (oh and the cattery  )

[littleKitten_(alex)]

Aw, thank you all! Really needed some support. Actually, Monkey noticed I was upset earlier when I was writing my post, so he took a break from his normal morning routine (= running around the house like a lunatic) and came and settled in my lap. Cutie.  

At this point in time you may not be able to book into a cattery as they fill up fast around the Christmas season! Maybe you could go in the new year? If you're moving back that way remember there is always next Christmas!

Actually, our "usual" cattery (they've only been there once before!) has a space for us if we book now. In a way, it would be easier if they were fully booked - then there wouldn't be any point in thinking about it at all.

As for next X-mas - we'll probably be spending that with OH's family in Ireland. His siblings are spread out in Oman, Denmark, north of England and us in London, with parents in Ireland, so it takes some planning to bring everyone together. So if we don't spend X-mas in Sweden this time, we'll have to wait for 2 years.  

Is there any way you could go over maybe at New Year or something as then the cats would have a bit more of a break between cattery visits if this would make you feel a bit better about leaving them again?

Well, I definitely wouldn't want to leave them over New Year's. Monkey has been SO stressed about fireworks this year, so I think he needs his mummy, pathetic little boy that he is. As for passports, I'm getting them organised (bit scared about the BIG rabies needle, though...), but even with the passports, it's a long journey to Sweden.

Go and see your family if that's what you need to do. Hope it all works out 

Thank you for saying that.  

[dolcetta46]

  Alex 

I can imagine nothing can be more depressing than having to spend the Christmas without your loving family...   I wish I could find you a perfect solution.  Luckily for us a very good friend of ours, who is a total cat person as well, lives just around the corner from us, so if we do have to leave Oliver behind for some days we could ask her to check on him, feed, fuss and play with him for a while daily.  Would there be such a person near your house? (But perhaps not, if you have been using a cattery...)  Sorry I can't think of anything else... but I do wish you the best, find a solution for your kitties and can spend a lovely Christmas with your family somehow!!

[Team Svartalfheims]

Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down at the moment.  I don't blame you, I only see my Mum about twice a year and I think that's bad enough so only seeing your family once in 18 months must be very hard.

Is there any way you could go over maybe at New Year or something as then the cats would have a bit more of a break between cattery visits if this would make you feel a bit better about leaving them again? Sometimes you need to put yourself and your human family first.

Another thought but have the cats got passports yet?  If they have (or get them soon) then you could always look at taking them with you in the summer if you go for a few weeks so you get to see your family and not feel guilty about the cats being in a cattery.

Fingers crossed for you that it won't be too much longer before you can move back to Sweden and then you can see your family all the time which will be fab for you.
Miss Boopy and Bilbo are sending you a huge hug 

[Kittybabe (Ruth)]

Alex I understand totally. My family, thankfully are all now in the UK, but they all have cats, and Lexy doesn't like other cats so she can't stay with them.

 I am away right now for 4 days (well two more really after today), and its been the most horrible time for me. I had her booked in a cattery and in the end I just couldn't do it, simply because I know how stressed she gets.  I have my ex-partner coming in to check her every day, cuddle with her and spent time with her. Before my sister got Pippa, Lexy would stay with her for a few days. And that was stressful enough. Now she has to stay home without me and without company for a good portion of the day. I know its only a handful of days but it still makes you feel guilty. That's life. You feel guilt even when you shouldn't.

Its hard, and I think that you are a very responsible pet-person only by the fact that you have changed your life around them and make adjustments where you need to.

Just hang in there.

[Corporal Smokey]

I'm sure it would be ok to put the cats in a cattery again if it's only a week or so. As long as they're looked after, and you can have a second "kitty christmas" when you get back.

It's not like you do it all the time. Cats are incredibly resilient and will forgive you when they've had enough pampering. I can empathise with both of you. I lost my dad a couple of years ago and wished I'd visited him more often. It was so very sudden and he'd never been ill in his life.

Go and see your family if that's what you need to do. Hope it all works out 

[Sabrina (Auferstehen)]

I know what its like to only see family a few times a year, and mom passed away this past August which was just horrible, I have other family in the US but she was the reason to really go back.

Thankfully my inlaws here in the UK were happy to watch the cats so we've never had to put them in a cattery.

At this point in time you may not be able to book into a cattery as they fill up fast around the Christmas season! Maybe you could go in the new year? If you're moving back that way remember there is always next Christmas!

(I miss snow!)

[littleKitten_(alex)]

Hi guys, I could really do with some sympathy right now...

As some of you may know, I'm originally from Sweden , and that's where I have all my wonderful family. They really are great  , and I love them dearly and miss them every day. Seriously, I don't know anybody who's got a greater family, and each and every one of my four siblings are my best friends.

Normally, OH and I would go home and visit (well, home for ME) a few times a year - a weekend here and there, and a week or two over the summer and X-mas. So although I was missing having cats for several years, at least we could do anything and go anywhere we wanted.

But since Poppy's arrival last August, things have obviously changed a bit. In the past 15 months, I've been home to Sweden just the once, and that was only for a couple of days. Apart from that, we've been over to visit OH's family in Ireland for a week, when the cats stayed at a cattery. And then I've flown my sister over from Sweden twice to catsit for us for a night or two. (Yes, it works out a bit expensive, but it's a perfect solution! Cats get to stay at home, and baby sister gets an all-expenses paid trip to her favourite place!)

Later this month, we're heading off on holiday for two weeks, and although Monkey and Poppy are going to a great cattery, I obviously still feel guilty about it. But OH really really really wants to go on a proper holiday, bless him, so I suppose it's only fair we go. My problem now is that as X-mas is getting ever closer, I am starting to wish I was going to spend it with my family. We couldn't go last year because of the cats, and we weren't able to go over the previous year either. And I miss X-mas with my family. And I miss snow. But we're only back from holiday on the 6th of December - I can't really put the cats in cattery AGAIN so soon afterwards. And I feel guilty for even considering it, no matter how briefly.

I don't for a second resent the cats for the occassional inconvenience they might cause - the joys of having cats far outweighs anything else!  And I think you all know I'm completely crazy about Poppy & Monkey. So I don't want you to get the wrong idea here.

I'm actually getting quite teary sitting here writing about it all. In the past 18 months, I've been over to see my family ONCE. I know that's not unusual for some people, but I actually think I might have the best, most close-knit family in the world. My mum's been quite ill recently, and all I want to do is jump on a plane and go see her. And then there's my grandparents. They are just the best, and my grandmother is really one of my best friends. I've been so close to them all my life and I am very aware that as they're now in their 80s, they won't be around forever, and I want to spend as much time as possible with them before it's too late.

I do take pet ownership quite seriously - I think that it's an important decision to make, not just a god-given right, to have animals in your family. I'm responsible for Poppy's and Monkey's well-being. But I sort of feel I have responsibilities towards people as well. To my OH, who likes to travel and must be feeling a bit bored. And to my family - they are feeling rather neglected. Now I feel like I'm caught in the middle, having to choose between letting down animals or letting down people.

Grr, we weren't supposed to be having these problems! When we got Poppy, we thought we were going to be moving to our new house in Sweden within a 6-12 months, where we'd be surrounded by people who'd be able to help out with cat sitting without the need for stressful catteries. But those plans are very much delayed at the moment...  Well, at least we know that once we have finally made the move, we'll never have catsitting problems again. Joy.

Sorry for rambling on like this... just feeling very sorry for myself.