Topic: I woke up thinking I was dying! (Read 4603 times)

blackcat · « **Reply #30 on:** July 18, 2007, 09:11:00 AM »

well yes. Pavarotti, who was obsessively possessive of me, used to wake me up to the warm trickling sensation of urine pouring gently down my face and neck. Lovely

Team Svartalfheims · « **Reply #29 on:** July 18, 2007, 09:09:13 AM »

Don't feel bad Helen I have a story about Bilbo that's slightly worse and my friends are still giving me abuse about it now (I made the mistake of telling one of my friends and now the whole department knows at uni!) Oh the shame our cats cause us!

Susanne (urbantigers) · « **Reply #28 on:** July 18, 2007, 08:57:23 AM »

Kittybabe (Ruth) · « **Reply #27 on:** July 18, 2007, 07:52:00 AM »

Hippykitty · « **Reply #26 on:** July 18, 2007, 06:44:01 AM »

This is SO funny!!!!

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #25 on:** July 18, 2007, 00:43:26 AM »

A few minutes ago I was sad but that just made me laugh so much, Thank you

Tiggy's Mum · « **Reply #24 on:** July 17, 2007, 23:05:42 PM »

That is so wrong

I remember when we first got Tiggy and her brother Benji I saw him washing himself, I thought it was a droplet of blood popping out so I ran to my Mum going 'Mum, Benji's bleeding from his bumhole' (bear in mind I was 10 years old), I was mortified when she pointed out it was his penis

Pinkbear (Julie) · « **Reply #23 on:** July 17, 2007, 22:44:10 PM »

Helen, it could have been worse.

My Tigger used to do a grand impression of a Davy Crocket hat. The times I used to wake up feeling his soft pink bit pressed right against the tip of my nose!

And sometimes I didn't get up quickly enough before his morning attack of wind.

Tiggy's Mum · « **Reply #22 on:** July 17, 2007, 22:36:45 PM »

Quote from: Pinkbear on July 17, 2007, 22:19:14 PM

I've been laughing all day at the thought of Helen and Riley's bits. I told OH, my daughter, old little Ivy Annie ("I'm 84, you know!") from up the road... the whole town is in stitches.

I'm glad someone finds it funny, I felt violated

Only a month to go until N-day, I'll be watching where I put my hands until then

swampmaxmum · « **Reply #21 on:** July 17, 2007, 22:24:53 PM »

Poor little Riley's got only a few months of scritching left to enjoy hasn't he? Sorry to mention it! When our's were done, OH walked around looking

all day.
thanks Helen for the laugh

.

Pinkbear (Julie) · « **Reply #20 on:** July 17, 2007, 22:19:14 PM »

I've been laughing all day at the thought of Helen and Riley's bits.

I told OH, my daughter, old little Ivy Annie ("I'm 84, you know!") from up the road... the whole town is in stitches.

Gwen · « **Reply #19 on:** July 17, 2007, 20:42:52 PM »

Quote from: Tiggy's Mum - Helen on July 17, 2007, 12:47:18 PM

Quote from: Pinkbear on July 17, 2007, 12:10:27 PM
To make matters worse, the 'sweat' was in fact drool!

I had a bit of a moment myself last night, I was 'scritching' (think I just made that word up - I would describe it as using your fingers like one of those toy grabber machines you get in arcardes ) Riley's back and sides just as I was dropping off to sleep. He was standing up while I was doing it and all of a sudden I felt a furry lump, I shot up thinking he had developed a fast growing tumour only to realise I was 'scritching' his balls

Edited to make it clear that he moved, I wasn't scritching his balls on purpose!!!

Helen your a star

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #18 on:** July 17, 2007, 19:54:23 PM »

you lot!

tab · « **Reply #17 on:** July 17, 2007, 15:30:01 PM »

Im obviously lucky in having cats that dont sleep on the bed!!!

Amber comes for a cuddle before I go to sleep and I wake to find Mogs leaning against my legs but most of the night its just me

Then again I get awul muscle twithces and kick out so they have learnt over time if they join me in bed chances are they will end up on the floor at some point in the night. I mean I frequently do so why shouldnt they

love
Tab

Dawn (DiddyDawn) · « **Reply #16 on:** July 17, 2007, 15:27:58 PM »

Quote from: Tiggy's Mum - Helen on July 17, 2007, 12:47:18 PM

Edited to make it clear that he moved, I wasn't scritching his balls on purpose!!!

That's cheered me up

Only this site can go from thinking you are dying to scritching balls in the matter of posts

Kittybabe (Ruth) · « **Reply #15 on:** July 17, 2007, 15:21:08 PM »

made me laugh that did

sheryl · « **Reply #14 on:** July 17, 2007, 14:18:34 PM »

I bet Riley is walking aroung with a big smile on his face !

Susanne (urbantigers) · « **Reply #13 on:** July 17, 2007, 14:03:07 PM »

Quote from: Pinkbear on July 17, 2007, 12:10:27 PM

To make matters worse, the 'sweat' was in fact drool!

It could have been worse - I'd have been grateful it was drool

Jaffa likes to lie on top of my legs so I have to provide a diversion by means of hot water bottles, heat pads etc. He likes warmth more than he likes me so he lies beside me on his hot water bottle.

clarenmax · « **Reply #12 on:** July 17, 2007, 13:45:47 PM »

Oh Helen, that cracked me up

The guy in the office next door to me said he did that once, Oscar was on the floor beside the sofa, and he was stritching him over the arm, i.e. not looking what he was doing, Oscar suddenly shot up in the air as he'd got one of his balls

Pinkbear (Julie) · « **Reply #11 on:** July 17, 2007, 13:41:49 PM »

@ Helen

Ralph's mum (angie) · « **Reply #10 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:52:13 PM »

'Scritching' quite like that word, think I will make it my word of the day, brill

Angie xx

fluffycloud123 · « **Reply #9 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:50:04 PM »

eww eww eww

Tiggy's Mum · « **Reply #8 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:47:18 PM »

Quote from: Pinkbear on July 17, 2007, 12:10:27 PM

To make matters worse, the 'sweat' was in fact drool!

I had a bit of a

moment myself last night, I was 'scritching' (think I just made that word up - I would describe it as using your fingers like one of those toy grabber machines you get in arcardes

) Riley's back and sides just as I was dropping off to sleep. He was standing up while I was doing it and all of a sudden I felt a furry lump, I shot up thinking he had developed a fast growing tumour only to realise I was 'scritching' his balls

Edited to make it clear that he moved, I wasn't scritching his balls on purpose!!!

Pinkbear (Julie) · « **Reply #7 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:42:00 PM »

Yes, anyone who thinks they can train a cat are welcome to my bunch.

But the Jumpster did go through a phase when he was a kitten. He drove me mad playing fetch all the time.

We swear he must have been born into a dog owning house.

Of course, it had to be Jumpy that used me as a mattress. Tilly weighs less than half.

And I had to take two showers because I keep imagining the twinkle of dribbing running down my neck.

swampmaxmum · « **Reply #6 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:35:22 PM »

A specialist (human) dr once ticked me off for letting cats get into my bed. He claimed that cats can be trained not to. I told him he may know a lot about medicine, but nowt about cats

Personally I think you know when Kitty is getting a bit overweight when your legs go numb within a few mins of purring visitor arriving and straightjacketing you under the duvet.

Ralph's mum (angie) · « **Reply #5 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:33:21 PM »

I just love this site, it never fails to make me laugh

thanks Angie xxx

PS also woke up with a tightness in my chest, Max has took to creeping in the night and using me as a cushion

obv diet not going as well as I first thought

Could we use this as a form of loosing weight due to crushed ribs, sweats etc so cant move, if we cant move we cant eat....................................
no oh well back to Paul McKenna book and CD

Purrlishious · « **Reply #4 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:26:41 PM »

That's so funny Pinkbear... should I laugh???
Rupee & Narla get right under the duvet, even down as far as legs & I stay awake just if fear of suffocating them!! Soooooooooo tired!

Sabrina (Auferstehen) · « **Reply #3 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:20:59 PM »

That's brilliant.

Smoke decided to sleep on my pillow last night so I had to move over to let her on it and I kept breathing in fur.

swampmaxmum · « **Reply #2 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:18:21 PM »

I get that and a tongue licking my nose just after cleaning the Nasty Bits too. Which probably means we will come down with some dread disease at some point

Pinkbear (Julie) · « **Reply #1 on:** July 17, 2007, 12:10:27 PM »

You know that little bit before you are awake, but you know you must have made it through the night?

Well, this morning I became aware of a tight, crushing feeling around my chest. I tried to take a deep breath and couldn't!

A little further awake, I realised I was soaking wet with sweat.

Was it flu? Had I been stuck down with a mystery case of Lassa fever in the middle of the night?

Nope! Managed to open my eyes in terror, and what did I see? The Jumpster curled in a perfect ball on top of my sternum! To make matters worse, the 'sweat' was in fact drool!

Thing is, I have absolutely no awareness of him climbing on top of me.

But at least I'm not dead

!

Author Topic: I woke up thinking I was dying! (Read 4603 times)