Author Topic: Advice needed from experienced pur-parents  (Read 3669 times)

Offline funkiechicken

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Re: Advice needed from experienced pur-parents
« Reply #9 on: May 30, 2012, 02:01:57 AM »
yayyy!!! so glad things have worked out so well!! sometimes, time is the key!
(as i have found out with the successful completion of my introductions of my adopted cat and resident cat lol)
I bet your stress levels have gone down now and looking forward to seeing this beautiful photo!!

 ;D ;D
Cats are independent, don't listen, don't come in when you call, stay out all night and when they're home they like to be left alone to sleep....Every quality that Women HATE in a Man, they LOVE in a Cat...

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Offline Lala-Nina-Keizar

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(SOLVED) Advice needed from experienced pur-parents
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2012, 12:04:29 PM »
Hello everyone hope you all are enjoying the lovely weather!!

I am so happy to finally report that Nine and Veronica (the then kitten now young cat) are getting along okay! No more closed doors and turns to be roaming free in the house even at night. Some hissing and minor growling happens every now and then but nothing to worry about, V has proved she is alpha and set the grounds and Nina at times tries to struggle against the new ruler lol. I am over the moon with happiness as this problem was stressing me beyond belief. Thanks to everyone for their kind advice, and understanding comments and good wishes it all paid off. I'm soooooo happy I will finally realise one of my dreams of a picture of the three them in one frame, yellow eyes, green eyes, and blue eyes!! Will post as soon as it happens!
Thanks again everyone, love you all cat-lovers!

Soooo happpyyyyyy xxxxx

Offline funkiechicken

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Re: Advice needed from experienced pur-parents
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2011, 23:01:06 PM »
Happy Christmas to you too  :)

Oh am sorry things havent improved thus far  :(

Unfortunately I am not an expert or even really a dab hand at introductions to be honest and I am only midway through introduction number 2 (with my existing cat, never really having this happen before).

But a few years ago I did have to temporarily move in with my mother, who had a young male cat (bout 1 year old) my 2 well established pair. My youngest cat, Nuggie was less than pleased with this arrangement and took it harder than his older late brother Tazi. I think this was because, unlike any other house moves, not only was this a new place to live which is stressful enough, but then had to deal with a resident cat was the boss and quite frankly Nuggie was not pleased about being knocked down the heirarchy by some little baby!  :-[  :-[
It did cause stress as it was my mothers baby, Nuggie was this big bully (not a totally incorrect description  :evillaugh: ) but also MY baby and there were many spats  :shy: Fortunately we moved but it did get to the stage where Nuggie would be slightly tolerant (if poor Tiger didnt invade his personal space).

I do think Nuggie felt the tension, especially from my mother. The stress I felt just wanting everything to be ok and to avoid "the look" everytime Nuggie swiped Tiger was horrendous - so I do sympathise with you on that.
Nina is probably feeling it too, more so because of what happened to the poor kitten, so the bad nervous vibes will be tenfold, all in a house where she's the 'newbie' - a status she is not had to deal with so much before  :( all these vibes could effect her normally accepting nature of kittens and her reactions could be in defence rather than attack. I do not, at all agree with the scruff and hold. I think it is a harsh technique for any animal, but definitely not a cat that is probably scared and confused already. It is usually a technique to show an animal who is boss. Nina knows who's boss (you)....she's just not quite sure of her own standing in the house

(also, my friends brother-in-law used this technique on their dog, probably at the incorrect times etc - if the dog growled at his son - fair enough? well, not so straight forward as the root cause of the growl was because the young lad had hurt the dog in play or was relentless and didnt leave the dog alone. The dog just wanted to be given some peace, to eat, rest etc. The technique caused the dog to fear the young lad, because the he associated this grabbing to whenever he saw the boy. That relationship is now beyond repair  :'( Really my friends nephew should have been educated, that although the dog loves to play, you can be too rough and if the dog is hurting then he must learn to also leave the dog alone. The dog wasnt snapping or being nasty, he just wanted peace from a hyper young lad. Now, the dog loves everyone and all children accept the lad  :(.......)

I do hope you get there and Nina settles  :hug:  :hug:
I know what happened to the kitten was horrific, but it was an horrendous accident and it may be time to rebuild Nina's confidence and if your sister could give her a few scuffles behind the ears (though painful for her) it might help with Nina and in turn Nina then accepting the existing kitten??

I hope it does work out. Never give up! and let us know how its going  :hug:  :hug:
Cats are independent, don't listen, don't come in when you call, stay out all night and when they're home they like to be left alone to sleep....Every quality that Women HATE in a Man, they LOVE in a Cat...

Nuggie (31.08.2002)
Peanut (14.12.09)
Sleep Tight Baby Tazi xx 04.04.98 - 20.10.11 xx

Offline Lala-Nina-Keizar

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Re: Advice needed from experienced pur-parents
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2011, 17:38:17 PM »
Hello everyone merryxmass and a happy holidays.

As for Nina and V, well still not very satisfactory progress. Three times Nina would sit watching V and they keep staring at each other but the moment V begins to move, walking away or something Nina charges..no real harm done till now because we come into their way. I know for a fact we messed it up, if I were to bring in a cat or kitten any day I would not allow Nina be so territorial with and I know my baby will realize that this new member is part of the pride, would take time to accept them but she wouldnt charge at them. But with V because of what happened, I lost confidence and had my head really mashed up. Thank you for asking, and would love any further advice.

We are at the stage of if Nina saw her she would stare stare stare untill V would make an innocent sudden move, which triggers Nina into a chase. My sister read somewhere that we should hold the attacker by the scruff and say no or something, like a telling off, I dont really like the idea or agree with it, the most I can do is a firm telling off, but not any physical aggression or discipline. I'm trying to learn how to upload pics so I can share with everyone my babies photos :)

Thank you again for asking :)

 

Offline funkiechicken

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Re: Advice needed from experienced pur-parents
« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2011, 16:26:17 PM »
Any updates?? I hope Nina & Kitten are firm friends now  :hug:  :hug:
Cats are independent, don't listen, don't come in when you call, stay out all night and when they're home they like to be left alone to sleep....Every quality that Women HATE in a Man, they LOVE in a Cat...

Nuggie (31.08.2002)
Peanut (14.12.09)
Sleep Tight Baby Tazi xx 04.04.98 - 20.10.11 xx

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Advice needed from experienced pur-parents
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2011, 02:52:32 AM »
So sorry for the loss of the kitten  :hug: :hug:

I think introductions should be done very slowly and they should not meet face to face again for at least a week.

As Liz has said the cats will pick up the stress of the humans and I know from experience thats its virtually impossible not to be stressed in this situation but the screaming and shouting needs to stop because it will not help the situation and only make it worse.

I would recommend that the next meeting between the kitten and Nina  should be with Nina in a carrier and the kitten allowed to sniff around it and investigate. Monitor what Nina does and how she reacts and if all goes well make the next meeting the reverse way round with the kitten in the carrier.

Make sure these meetings take place in a room away from the balcony and that the cat who is not in the carrier cannot escape to anywhere dangerous.

These meetings, no more than once a day until its going very smoothly, should be monitored at all times and if either cat gets distressed, abandon the meeting for thhe day.

Introductions can take a very long time depending on the cats and the living situation and I am in month 3 of introductions here!

If Keizer seems to be OK with the kitten I would introduce him face to face in a safe room and see how it goes, if not going well, seperate them , a pillow is helpful lol, and introduce in same way as with Nina.

I agree with your sister about the zyklene and dont thionk it should be necessary.

One thiong to remember about zyklene and feliway is that they take time to work and dont work with all cats. The felway can take a couple of weeks to work as can the zyklene.

The message is slowly slowly and dont try and rush things especially as you are all living so close together.

Loads of luck and let us know how its going  :hug: :hug:

Offline Lala-Nina-Keizar

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Re: Advice needed from experienced pur-parents
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2011, 01:13:26 AM »
Some Feliway plugged in may help they take about a week to work -they are happy hormones for cats and do help alleviate stress in cats

Also some rescue remedy added to drinking water may help, Zylkene does take the edge of tension perhaps putting all cats on it may help, careful introductions need to be done between Nina and the kitten

Also any stress in humans is picked up by the cats adding to their stress

So sorry for the loss of the other kitten, you both need time to grieve for the loss and work out a way forward that works for all  :hug:

I have a very multi household of ferals, domestics, ragdolls, a Bengal and my latest foster a Norwegian forest cat so do speak from experience


Thank you sooooooooooo very much for replying, I have feliway, I suggested the kitten take zy but my sister doesnt really want that, will ask her again. How do we introduce them? restrained? Or freely? Freely will probably mean the kitten running off with full speed and Nina after her, which will mean the screaming of the kittens mummy? Should we do it at night when the kids are asleep? should nina be on a leash?

Offline Liz

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Re: Advice needed from experienced pur-parents
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2011, 00:39:32 AM »
Some Feliway plugged in may help they take about a week to work -they are happy hormones for cats and do help alleviate stress in cats

Also some rescue remedy added to drinking water may help, Zylkene does take the edge of tension perhaps putting all cats on it may help, careful introductions need to be done between Nina and the kitten

Also any stress in humans is picked up by the cats adding to their stress

So sorry for the loss of the other kitten, you both need time to grieve for the loss and work out a way forward that works for all  :hug:

I have a very multi household of ferals, domestics, ragdolls, a Bengal and my latest foster a Norwegian forest cat so do speak from experience
Liz and the Clan Cats and Dogs

Offline Lala-Nina-Keizar

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Advice needed from experienced pur-parents
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2011, 23:00:59 PM »
Hello everyone I’m Lala pur-parent to Nina(Persian) who’s 3 yrs and 6 months, and Keizar(ragdoll) who’s 2.
I seriously don’t know where to start..ok.   I found Nina in a dodgy pet shop outside the UK, she was the runt of the litter and barely mobile, when I picked her up already in love with her the pet owner advised me to buy the other one because this one seems to be dying, she was my  baby, now I know what buying from pet shops is and how bad and encouraging to the monstrosity of pet trade, but I almost had no choice she was my baby—from pet shop to vet and the journey began in her slow but sure recovery, I worked in that country with the equivalent of RSPCA as a surrogate mother to orphaned kittens, and she would adopt the kittens though she was a kitten herself so she was almost never without a play mate, but we had to come home from that country and I realize it was stressful for her, then lived in a house for 6 months in which she had a major set-back she was about a year and a half where she had to stay in pet hospital for 2 days, now mind you after that event she became very prone to stress and developed a genuine dislike to men…after her recovery I felt she might be lonely and needed a playmate. When Keizar came along she hissed and puffed for less than a day, and then cautiously she started to play with him. We then moved to another house and lived there very happily for a year and a half, before a major financial disability which forced me to live with my sister.  Now my sister had two 5 month old kittens, and of course I moved in with my babies and had then stay in the room for the first few days so we can calmly and slowly introduce them to one another , the second day by mistake Nina ran out of the room and chased one of my sisters kittens (the younger and prone to stress herself) and it was a huge fright for the poor kitten. We knew that it would be a slower than we thought procedure, but unfortunately and most sadly within the first week Nina ran out of the room and chased the poor kitten, my sister lives in the 8th floor and her balcony wasn’t secured and the kitten fell leaving us in a most horrendous state. This happened a month ago and we are still horribly affected. We secured the balcony now, but I personally am mentally paralyzed in figuring how to handle what should be done. Understandably my sister is grieving and has bitter feeling about Nina, and can-not trust her to not harm the other kitten. I am torn between my sisters grief and for Nina and Keizars confined space (they are with me in my room for most of the day, when they are out of the room the kitten has to be behind a closed door till they get back into my room, and vice versa. I talked to my vet and he prescribed zylkene for Nina, which she is on at the moment. And advised me to just let them be, but my sister is not comfortable with this and to be honest I’m not either. Keizar has no problem with the kitten bless his heart, and tried to engage her with how friendly he is, rolls on his back and purrs to her..I know they will be friends within the week, but what about Nina? Please advise me kind people I’m at my wits end.  2 days ago Nina and the kitten were in the same room and yes Nina did chase the kitten but the kitten held her ground and there was some hissing and fighting for less than seconds before I picked Nina up, but within those few seconds my sister was screaming Nina I’ll kill you, I understand how she feels. Today I leashed Nina (shes sort of comfortable with it) and my sister held her kitten and I let Nina see her for a few minutes before my nerves gave in and I took her back to the room, because I just know it’s not right to restrict cats when they are stressed and then both Nina and the kitten were stressed. I know many of you will say give Nina up for adoption where she will have less stress and a better life, but trust me it’s exactly like telling a mother to give up her child. Parting with Nina is not an option simply because I can’t live without her. She doesn’t trust anyone but me, and shes not the friendly cat who allows whoever to touch her to be close to her. Please advice as to how we should introduce them to one another, how can we fix this? I seriously need the help of the experts here, who know how it is and what to do. Thank you sooooooooo much for creating this place where I can cry my heart out without having people laugh at me.

 


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