Purrs In Our Hearts - Cat Forum UK
In Loving Memory Cats => Rainbow Bridge - In Loving Memory => Topic started by: joeys on October 23, 2014, 09:32:45 AM
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Hi all. Just sat here trying to avoid thinking what I am thinking! My faithful old chum is 16, and has cancer on his ear, which is pretty much eaten away now. We have been back and forward to vet , they aren't keen to operate as he is likely not to recover from being put under. So he is given steroids every month. His eye also bulges out, his pupil doesn't behave the same as the 'normal eye'. They believe a tumour is behind the eye. His kidney/liver is also enlarged. BUT, he seems ok, eats, plays, chasing birds, and is as annoying as ever. :-) . But once the steroids wear off, his slows down again. What really has brought me to my thoughts lately, is that his eye is bleeding. Not meaning around the eye, like a scratch or something, but from behind his eye, blood comes out on and off. Please guys, if he was yours, and even though you see him playing and being a cheeky old dude, would you let him go now? I feel I may see the vet tomor, the steroids hasn't lasted as long as they have been. I am just so afraid of letting him go too soon. Anyone had the same experience? Many thanks.
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We had an old feral Miss gracie who came to us for the last 4 years of her life she ended up with an inoperable tumour in her ear and the steroids gave us another glorious 9 months with out old tortie gal who even tamed down to touch and loved her chin rubs, one Saturday morning when feeding them she looked at me with her gorgeous eyes and said sorry Mum but today is the day
Broke my heart but she went to the vet that morning and passed peacefully with her Daddy and I telling her how much we loved her and wanted her to stay but we knew she had a date with the other Clan cats at the bridge
We fought a hard fight but in our hearts kinew we gave her the passing she wanted surrounded by love and tears
Thats my experience and having lost another of my borrowed time torties in Miss Millie diabetic just 5 weeks ago and my brain damaged feral McKenzie 10 days ago know exactly where you heart and mind is :hug:
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I'm going through this at the moment too, and I know - boy do I know - how hard it is
my Trigger has a fibrous sarcoma which has left one of his back legs almost useless, but apart from finding it extremely difficult to move he is seemingly perfectly well
but I find myself asking - what am I waiting for? until he cannot move at all to find his food or use the litter tray, which would be very distressing for him? or until he gets ill, stops eating, is in constant pain (which he may be in already, as they hide it so well)
the answer of course is I have been waiting for my sake, not his, because I am not ready to say goodbye - but I never will be until he is at his last gasp, and we have a crisis - and if I leave it until then I will feel even more guilty for waiting
we have the power, if we are lucky, to arrange a good death for our beloved cats, and we mustn't duck it just to postpone our certain pain, at risk of causing them more
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Oh Kay :( :( :( You put it so well :hug: :hug: :hug:
People refer to it as a last kindness and it truly is.
Whatever you decide "Joeys", you obviously care deeply for your boy and you will know, better than anyone else, when your much loved lad no longer has sufficient quality of life :hug: :hug: :hug:
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another one here in the same boat, my oscar has a stomach mass, he has just had another steriod injection but we are pretty sure it will be his last, I don't want him to start feeling ill our vet has advised once he stops going outside through choice that is probably the time
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Such a heart breaking thing but you know your old dude the best and if you think it is time and he looks at you in that way that says I have had enough, then probably it is time.
If he is still enjoying life despite the problems then maybe a few more days or weeks.
What ever time you have left together treasure it and love him. :hug: :hug: :hug:
We have a saying here, a week too early is better than a day too late.
Whats his name by the way?
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My goodness, what lovely people you all are, you have all left me in tears as I read all your thoughts, and I don't feel so alone. I am so saddened though to read that some of you are facing the same, or have faced the same and know the feeling of 'what if? what if?' I am new on here, and I hope my reply posts properly as I'm not sure if meant to do individual replies or group reply. Sorry, I am waffling. But this is for you all. His name is Joey, a very cheeky stray that turned up in the snow as a teeny ball of fluff 16 years ago. Anyone that has ever met the dude adores him as he is striking to look at, monstrously huge, and is carried like a parrot on my shoulder. Adorable, cheeky, spoilt, huffy, funny, trouble maker, are only a few of the words I can use to describe this old fella. But to see this new symptom of a bleeding eye is so disturbing, there MUST be pain. My head says one thing, my heart says another. Oh, the very idea of lifting the phone to ring the vet is gut wrenching. I really believed we would have him for another few months, even though the vet says to go 'week by week'. Again, I have read all your responses, I cant thank you all enough for sharing your experiences and thoughts with me.
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my old chum. :'(
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Oh my! Isn't Joey a handsome fella :Luv2: :Luv2: :Luv2:
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he is lovely and how clever to turn up at your door
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Oh bless you both :hug: :hug: :hug:
It is something I have yet to go through, and I dread having to make that decision.
Only you will know when its time to let go of your precious fella :hug:
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Gorgeous and a relative of my Misa ;D ;D
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I would say if he has a quality of life, eating drinking and playing he is not ready to go. My cat who is 19 needs a dental and they said for the anaesthetic they would put her on a drip throughout as she has slightly raised kidney & liver levels to help flush it through her. its a no go at the moment tho as I haven't got £300+ it would cost :Crazy:. Your cat isn't really that old to be an anaesthetic risk?
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they aren't keen to operate as he is likely not to recover from being put under. ............. His kidney/liver is also enlarged.
The concern about operating is likely related to his other conditions rather than just his age Heather? I know my brother's vet was very concerned about operating on Tango as his bloods showed liver problems :(
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Agree with Rosella
Napoleon who was 17 needed an urgent op without it he would have died, he only had one functioning kidney and suffered from seizures, they had to bring him back during the op and it was very very dodgy for him.
sadly I had to let him go about 2/3 weeks later. He just would not eat at all.
19 is a great age b ut would listen to your vets advice on this :hug: :hug:
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Joey's extremely handsome. And clearly your real good buddy. Fully understand how difficult it is to make such a decision, and whatever you decide, wishing you both well. :hug:
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Once again, thanks so much everyone. You are all clearly devoted owners, and a great comfort to me. Today has been unreal, I have another cat that is the same age as Joey, Hobbles. A very dear old quiet man compared to the cheeky Joey. Hobbles had slowed down this past few months, and the vet believed old age and general wear and tear of being a mighty hunter in his time. He was off his food yesterday (normal as he is fed also by a house a field away). This morning I found a him gasping, barely able to get a breath. Of course we rushed straight to vets, (I cant believe I am typing this! this doesn't feel real!) by the time we got there it was obvious that there was nothing they could do. The nice vet was fully expecting me to be carrying Joey through the door, not Hobbles. She said we could try, but he was gravely ill, and we both knew each breath that he took was agony to him. I said goodbye to the quiet gentleman, and now he rests under the apple trees beside the house. I haven't had time to think today, as have 4 children and haven't sat. In fact, this is the first time I have replayed whats happened only 5 hours ago. He looked at me in a way that many have you have described, that 'let me go' look. He was my mum's cat, she passed away 11 years ago, so maybe they are together again. I still cant believe this, really cant. And now, after seeing what happened today, I must not let Joey get to any pain stage, its too late to give them a peaceful passing when it comes to that pain stage. sorry, I am waffling again, ranting and probably not making any sense. What on earth happened , I don't know. The vet said his lungs sounded dreadful and antibiotics were an option, but he had gone past that point of rescue. Oh my heavens, so so shocked. I am waiting to get all the kiddies off to bed then I will walk over to the apple trees to spend a bit of time there. I am glad I found this website, because I certainly wouldn't have had the energy to sign up to a website and all today, I am glad to hear from you all. Bless you. xx
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You're far from rambling. I think all of us will be devastated at the turn of events which has been visited on you today, and I know when I lost our latest two babies, I was distraught to the point of not being able to think straight at all for a few days. :hug: :hug: It's difficult for you to keep a brave face on things too when you have the children to look after.
There's little we can say or do which will ease the pain of losing Hobbles and knowing that the time you have left with Joey is too short. But we're all here for you. If you want to share your thoughts and your feelings, or the memories you treasured and built with Hobbles and with Joey we're always here for you.
Purrs is an amazing community of people who, like you, love our cats beyond price and understand what you're going through better than most.
Our thoughts are with you tonight. Swift journey over the Bridge, Hobbles. :hug: :hug:
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I am so very sorry to hear Hobbles was taken so unexpectedly, such a shock to have to come to terms with at any time let alone when Joey is so poorly and you are facing a difficult decision. My thoughts are with you :hug: :hug: :hug:
Run free Hobbles.
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Jiji and Sue, thank u. I am numb. I have no more words but thank u for those kind thoughts.
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:hug: :hug: :hug: What a cruel twist of fate, no wonder you are numb. My heart goes out to you. I wish I had words to ease your pain but I know there are none.
Rest easy Hobbles
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Just so shocked to read this so can understand how bad it is for you.
What a terrible shock and am thinking of you on this sad night :hug: :hug: :hug:
As sue says we all understand and waffle away to us as much as you want cos only cat people understand often
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So sorry for your loss Joeys :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
RIP Hobbles :(
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Just so sad for you. Sending healing vibes for you and the children, and hoping Joey can stay well a while longer to help you through poor Hobs passing. :hug: :hug:
RIP old man, bravely lived, loved by all. Goodnight and gods speed to the Bridge. Friends await you, my dearest boy Beau who passed just last week X
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It is sooo painful and sooo hard But I couldn't live with the fact that they suffered more at the end cause of my decision to hang on. I rest easy knowing my darling furkids that have passed did so without knowing the painful terminal illness very end. It's with all the fearce love that we have for them that can help them avoid that awful end and have a peaceful passing.
My love and thoughts are sooo with you x
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Thank you everyone. Knowing that there is somewhere like this with like minded people, is such a comfort. I am very heavy hearted, sad and wishing I could wave a magic wand to go back in time. Words fail me to be honest. xxx xxx
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You must be heartbroken :hug: what a time you are having at the moment :hug:
At least you were there for Hobbles and I am sure your mum was there to be reunited with him.
Ramble as little or as much as you like, that is what the site is for.
RIP Hobbles :'(
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So sorry for your loss :hug:
God Bless Hobbles xx
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Sorry to hear of your loss.
Best wishes at this tough time.
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Thank you all for your comforting words, each and everyone of them means a lot . It is very odd not to see old Hobs on our window, every so often I see something white and automatically I think 'oh there he is for his food'. But sadly then I remember he is gone. Also about beautiful Joey, he is losing his meow now, i know the time is coming soon. He still eats/drinks/purrs, but even in the last week or so, he has become slow, not jumping up, and then the meowing has become so hoarse it can barely be heard. I wont be accepting anymore steroids for him as its unfair. Love to you all. xxx
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So sad that Joey is going downhill and you are in my thoughts at such a difficult time :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Sometimes, we have to handle a lot of heartache in a short space of time. Thinking of you, and sending you my every good wish that you have the strength needed to get through all of this, and one day look back with the happiest of memories, rather than the sad ones. :hug:
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What terrible timing! You are in our thoughts :hug:
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I'm so sorry for your loss :hug: RIP Hobbs xxx
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Hello my lovely friends. Its been a month since I was on here, still getting used to our Hobbs not being here, often feel like a can hear his meow from time to time. Bless him. I had my oldest pal come to visit at the weekend, she hadn't seen Joey in quite a few months. He is now totally deaf, so he didn't hear her come in, but he somehow sensed her and immediately went to say hello. She struggled not to cry at his poorly condition. I hate to say Joey is struggling with food now, even though he meows and wants food, he just doesn't seem bothered. His face seems puffy, we believe this to be the tumours enlarging from behind the eye. And his eye, well, its not good at all. He has become so vocal, like he is constantly trying to tell us something, and very rarely will leave his comfortable spot behind the sofa. Yes, I know, we are all thinking the same aren't we. I wanted him to stay for Christmas, to tuck into tender turkey with us, but it would take a miracle now. Just spending the last few days (hoping a week or so) with him, and enjoying his company. Hobbs will be waiting for his old pal Joey. xxx
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I am so sorry that your old friendis so far down his road :hug:
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I'm very sorry to read this. :( Poor Joey. :hug:
Here is Beau's story :(
I promised I would never let my beloved cat suffer. He had pills, medication, injections, more pills. We supported him as best we could but still he went downhill.
I think, I hope, I pray that I caught Beau just in time, just before his pain became greater than his joy. I could have held on, for one more week, for Christmas, for Easter, or for his birthday, but it would have been for me, not him.
It still hurts like hell, I miss him and long for him to be back with me but I know in my heart it was time, it was his time.
He went peacefully at the vet. No pain, just sleep, endless sleep. The kindest act for him and yet, for me, the most cruel. The price we pay for all the love and joy they bring. The least we can do.
May the Gods guide you wisely. I wish you courage and strength in the days to come. :hug: :hug:
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So sorry he is going down :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
There is never a good time of the year but this is possibly the worst , thi nking of you both :hug: :hug:
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this is very sad :hug: :hug:
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thankyou Pandora, sheilarose, gill and slugsta, and everyone else who has been so kind. Sweet Beaus story is almost identical, and exactly whats running through my mind, the 'can we wait another little while' feeling. But I cant, I am saying goodbye to my beautiful boy tomorrow at 4.45. I didn't stay with Hobbs when they put him to sleep, so I am a little scared that poor Joey might get upset. I'm sure he wont as he is generally very good at the vets. Do they just fade to sleep? I want to be able to hold him while he nods off, not for him to be laid on cold vet table, will they allow me too? My heart is racing now as its very real. Joey is resting behind the sofa now, just deep deep sleeping all the time, of course food and water is almost non existant. I spoke with him lots last night, he purred and purred and gave his kisses as he always done. I cant thank you all enough, I really really mean that, to know that there are people like you all out there, who are sending us love, and who know exactly how this feels. I am not alone. Thank you. xxxx
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Joey.
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I am so sorry - what a gorgeous boy he is
Trigger had a catheter put in his front paw, through which the fatal injection was administered - although this makes the process more drawn out, it had the advantage of allowing him a couple of minutes to recover from the trauma of having it inserted - he got down from his bed a bit agitated, but I was able to soothe him, and feed him a little bit of the liver he loved - I then lifted him back and the vet gave him the final injection within seconds, and he went immediately, without a sound
I know some people have their cats sedated first, if they are likely to put up a fight, but it doesn't sound as if Joey, bless him, is capable of that
I'm sure they'll let you hold him, or cushion him at least - you will need a towel or blanket though as they often wee as they pass
it's a horrible horrible business, but the physical part is the least of it, so please don't worry about that
my thoughts, and tears, are with you
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Thank you Kay for telling me how lovely Trigger passed on. I do want this process to be as quick as possible, the thought of him having an injection and upsetting him is horrible, just want him to fade off to sleep without any interference, but of course, I know the vets have to do it this way. I will take a blanket with me, thank u for telling me that as I didn't know. I am praying that my old buddy will leave us today in his sleep, comfy behind the sofa, I hope that doesn't sound mean, but it would be a better way to go. He hasn't done a wee or a poo in a few days, so its very obvious his body is shutting down. My kids are upset, my 9 year old is a huge cat lover, and I have offered for her to come to the vets tomorrow, then I regretted it, not knowing if she will cope! To be honest, the mix of emotions is awful. xx
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I am sorry that you lost Hobbs - to share a life so long and to share that love makes parting so hard.
I am glad you are listening to Joey's whisper now though. He sounds ready for his next journey. I have seen that look a few times and it is something you cannot mistake and you just know in your heart that your little one is asking. You have to know and it is the greatest gift you can give without doubt.
I stay with my pets and I feel they like me to walk a little way along the path to the bridge with them. It is an honour I willingly take. The vet shaved the leg a little to see the vein then they inject the anaesthetic. I felt their weigh fall on to me and their body relax as their spirit flew free. Then they leave a little bit of them in your heart and climb the rainbow bridge to wait where time has no meaning for your to be reunited - well that's what I believe anyway.
Everyone is different and do whatever way feels easiest for you.
A choice made from love is always the right one remember. I hope his path is gentle as it is surely paved with love xx
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I' m so sorry that Joey's time has come and fully understand that you hope he passes peacefully at home. :hug: If that doesn't happen then try not to worry too much about the actual process tomorrow. There are different ways of administering the final injection and your vet will chose whichever one they feel is most appropriate in the circumstances. At my vets they use a room separate to the one that is being used as the general surgery and have always allowed me as much (or as little) time as I want alone in there my fur-baby before the procedure, and after. I've never actually held a cat in my arms but I've always been stroking them and had contact when the injection was given. It really is instant. The light just goes out of their eyes as if someone had pressed a switch and they relax. Heartbreaking though it is I've always felt better coming out of the surgery than I did going in, having actually seen my friend released.
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My heart goes out to you and Joey is so like Misa :hug: :hug:
My vet lets me have the cats on my knee as cant stand but all 3 of mine passed very peacefully and it is almost instant.
All of them came back home with me as my as I want my other cats to know what has happened and two went back to the vet next day for individual cremation and now so wish I had done this for Kocka. I have Napoleons and his brother Duchas little boxes here which I find comforting but some may not and had a special inscription put on each.
I think if you allow your 9yr old to come with you, you need to explain very gently what will happen and how Joey will fly to the Bridge to live on for ever and always be watching over her. I am not religeous but the Bridge is so real to me and a rainbow now has a special meaning as we all hope that soon after we will get a message that they have arrived. Ducha took a long time to learn how to do rainbows but now he does them brilliantly.
Thinking of you all :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Our thoughts, and tears, are with you :hug: This is the last loving thing you can do for your darling boy, to release him from his pain and let his spirit fly free :hug:
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Slugsta, Gill, Carol and Souffle, I greatly appreicatte your words of comfort and advise, and sharing your experiences with me. Joey is with my daughters right now, cuddling, and of course tonight I shall spend most of the night in quietness with him. He cried two very awful meows today, I wasn't in the room but heard him, something obviously hurt badly. I have let him go on too long, I did promise myself that I wouldn't get this far with him, but he has changed so quickly, even the last 24hours. I have decided that I cannot bear to be in the room when he passes (even typing that is difficult). I have thought so much on it today, I feel terrified of seeing them inject him, so I don't believe I can be there. I can only say how brave and loyal u all are to have stayed with your beloved pets to the very last. I will make sure he is content before I leave the room, then will wait in the car til my boys body is ready to come back home with us. My eldest girls are coming with me. My stomach is in knots, could scream with sadness and I know Joey knows too, and he is more at peace than me for sure. Please God, I beg so much, that there is a beautiful place on the bridge for him.
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:hug: :hug: :hug:
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Don't be frightened Joeys. The reason he stayed so long is because the love of your family is very hard to leave. They linger far past their calling time because the bond is strong. There is a beautiful place for him in whatever place he chooses. In your heart, in your children's hearts and at the bridge. He will be safe. Have no doubts - your choice made fromlove is the right one and it is the right time and he willingly waited till you were ready because he returned your love :hug:
Tread lightly Joey x Those wings are waiting x
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thank you, I know you are all with Joey and I today. I am struggling for words to be honest. xxxx
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Thinking of you and Joey :hug: :hug: :hug:
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I'm so sorry. Bless you for doing the right thing for Joey despite your pain.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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don't feel bad about not being there, I never have and I don't think it means you love them less some people can and some people can't its nothing to be sorry for :hug:
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thanks dawn, reets and jiji. literally a pain in my chest now as time draws closer. my fabulous cat will soon be resting. :(
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:hug: :hug:
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I hope Joey is back home resting in peace :hug: :hug: :hug:
Just to say this thread can be moved to Rainbow Bridge if you would like in due course, just let me know :hug: :hug:
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Joeys, my heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry about how this is all happening.
:care: :care: :care: :care: :care: :care: :care:
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My boy is at rest now, my heart is broken, I cant even cry. My oldest friend and daughters came with us, saying goodbye was, I have no words for it, just awful. My friend stayed with him til the very end. The guilt of course has kicked in, even though it was getting cruel to keep him alive for me. Im sorry im not making a lot of sense. I know u all know this feeling. I could scream and shout and swear and throw things. But I must remind myself that the one important soul in all of this sadness was him, and he is at peace now. God Bless you all for your comfort.
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So very sad, this time of mourning. :hug: :hug:
I hope you know Joey loves you and will be waiting for you when you join him. The Bridge is there for us all and those gone before will wait with gentle purrs and headbutts. Until then Joey is safe, warm, loved, free from pain, back with his pal Hobbs forever. :Luv:
Be kind to yourselves in these coming days. The weight of mourning will pass and be replaced by the perfect knowledge of a soul helped on its way to everlasting peace. I shall shed a tear for his passing with you all tonight :hug: :hug:
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Guilt is one of the steps of grief and so very hard when it kicks in.
RIP Joey, play hard on the bridge you have lefy a purr in your meowmus heart
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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thank u gill and tufty. I want to ask, please don't think I am crazy, but when we brought joey home and made him comfortable , letting the children say goodbye, his front paw moved twice. is this normal? I am taking comfort in this as when he moved it, it stroked off my hand.
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Yes I think this can happen cos am sure that Ducha moved slightly and his body released urine on the journey home.
I would take as a message to you saying thank you for all your love and care :hug: :hug:
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thanks Gill. I guess my beautiful boy can now be moved to Rainbow Bridge, if you can help please? I am not sure how it works. Again, everyone, what diamonds you all are, and how blessed I am to find this place where I can cry and know that behind this laptop screen, there are people who understand. xxx
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Sorry for your loss there will be tears and a bucket load of them but as time passes there will be laughter with the tears and they fact they were loved and wanted and will be missed for ever makes them very lucky indeed
I speak from a very sad year here having lost 6 to various things but all are now on my study wall where I talk to them all daily doing grit boxes and feeding the others makes me feel they are still with us :hug:
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Yes, involuntary muscle movements can occur for several hours as the body settles. You may also see his eyes remain open, unseeing but still seemingly alive. :(
The stroke you got from Joey? That one you can take as a personal Thank You from your pal. :)
They are there, in the background, making sure you're OK. You may experience them both again in the coming days :hug: :hug:
Wait for the Rainbow. Joey will send you one soon. :)
Cry away. :hug:
Sheila (alias Tuftyclub)
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Joey is now moving to Rainbow Bridge :hug: :hug:
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:hug:
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Thank you. My kids stayed home today, so we have all kept each other company. I also had a robin hop into the kitchen this morning, fluttering about, and a rainbow outside. I am more raw today than yesterday but blanking it out as much as I can. I hope Joey is enjoying the company of all your dearly departed furbabies. xxxxx
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:hug: :hug: I was thinking of you and your family and Joey this morning when suddenly it started to rain and a lovely rainbow appeared.
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Wow Joey leant rainbow making fast ;D ;D ;D
Try not to blank things out as you need to go through the grieving process :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Carol thank you so much, I am being swamped with calls and texts and emails, everyone adored that guy. Gill thank u for moving Joey into this beautiful bridge. I am struggling hugely, keep wrapping my arms round my chest where he would lie and be carried about, wishing to feel his heart beating on my chest and fluff in my face. I have his fur on my cardi from yesterday, have put the cardi away and wont wear it again. Its going to be a case of one day at a time. xxx
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I've left Beau's blanket pile undisturbed since he went to the Bridge, can't bring myself to move/wash/disturb them. I will get around to it I'm sure, as the other cats have now started parking themselves there so as I can see them adapting to the situation, so shall I. But not now, not yet...
I'm glad you have so much support from your family and friends, as Gill says you need to allow the grief to flow through you and it sounds like you are doing things exactly right. :hug: :hug:
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I have all my Bridge cats things in boxes could never bear to get rid of them and always take a clipping of fur. I also did not want the other cats to use them!
I also wrote a lot after they had passed and also have all of that.
The grief is so overwhelming at the beginning writing stuff down was only way I could deal with it. I also Emailed a grief counsellor at Blue Cross cos couldnt talk on the phone after losing my first cat Kocka.
You are so in my thoughts Joeys :hug: :hug: :hug:
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So sorry for your loss Joeys :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Sleep peacefully Joey :(
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thank u everyone, and I see I'm not the only one who has kept little things belonging to our babies. I still feel empty, a horrible gut feeling, every time I think of the gorgeous dude. But I had a beautiful amazing dream last night, Joey came out from under my daughters cot, a much much younger joey, not as huge as he was in recent years, but still him, looking amazing as always. He purred and cuddled and I felt so delighted to see this healthy boy I remembered. He then walked off, I didn't chase after him or call him, as I knew he had to go. I know cats cant smile, but I felt his smile, if that makes sense. I hope so much this was him calling in to say 'look at me! look at how young I am!' . xx
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I am glad your dreams are becoming happy. I'm sure Joey and hobbs have a little soothing paw in this. I am sure they visit to ensure all is well before they finally move over to the bridge. You hear their whispers and feel their presence a lot at first. I used to come in and see our Kennedy in his nest in the bushes often - a fleeting glance of ginger fur as he went. My dogs continued to make car journeys with me - a glance in the mirror would see them there. A trick of the mind maybe I don't know but to me it was very real and soothing to feel them there x I am sending my wishes and healing thoughts to you and your family in your time of loss x
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Wonderful. :hug: :hug:
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Lovely dream and a great sign that he is watching over you ;D ;D
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I am so sorry to learn that Joey has gone, but am firmly of the mind you gave him the greatest gift of all, and showed immense courage in doing so. It's one of the hardest decision any of us face. Gill posted a reminder elsewhere on the forum about "choosing tears." A very positive message that when we open our heart to love, it's inevitable we open our hearts to tears too, but the joy of the love is what we should treasure.
I'm another one who believes (rightly or wrongly) that I've heard, felt or seen some of my beloved companions over the years, after they've ceased to share our physical space. It makes perfect sense, when you share with us that you felt his smile. He is yuong and happy again. He still loves you.
(And cats can smile - somewhere, I've posted piccies of two smiling cats on Purrs, and know others have too ;) )
My thoughts are with you and your family, and with Hobbs amd with Joey. :hug: :hug:
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thankyou sue, gill, Sheila and soufflé. that horrible feeling in the pit of my tummy is still there, just as cruel as it was on the day we said goodbye. I know it will ease in time. I miss Hobbs terribly too, but his passing didn't hit as much as Joeys. Hobbs went so suddenly, and I guess I then made a mental block as all attention then shifted onto Joey. Bless them both,, they are side by side under the apple trees. I am pleased you all seem to agree on the dream, and I do believe it was his goodbye. My 9 year old lass is still suffering lots, not sleeping great, and my 5 yr old son has started asking little questions on death since Joey passed on. I will take a peek at what you mentioned, the 'choosing tears' section. XX
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I firmly do believe in the dream you had. There are more things in Heav'n and earth Horatio, and all that. It was his way of letting you know that he's okay.
Am so sorry your little girl is being so badly affected. It's incredibly hard even as an adult to get your head around the pain of loss. Whilst some children recover fairly quickly from the death of a loved one and can move on, not all children are the same. I know I was never able to let it go that easily, whether it was one of my pigeons, a guinea pig or a beloved dog, I always fell hard any kind of animal suffering always impacted on me in a big way.
It was one of the very few things that would reduce me to tears, and I was a tough little kid on the whole.
(Not now though - now, I cry at the drop of a hanky - little old man shopping alone? Yep, I snivel. Where's his little old lady? Lovely piece of classical Music such as Albinoni's Adagio? Yep, I'm off again. The snippet Gill posted about choosing tears - open the floodgates and stand well back..... :shy: :hug: :hug:
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Blue Cross have an online leaflet about helping children deal with the loss of a pet which you might find helpful: http://www.bluecross.org.uk/files/Children%20and%20pet%20loss.pdf (http://www.bluecross.org.uk/files/Children%20and%20pet%20loss.pdf).
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Depending on the age, "Goodbye Mog" is wonderful. Don't read it in the bookshop though (floods of tears ...)
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many thanks sue, frances and caffiend. I don't know where to find Gills post on choosing tears? and most certainly will look for that book goodbye mog. and have just loaded up the blue cross leaflet, so thanks again for your help all. its a bitter stormy day out there, but i know joey and hobbs are safe. yes my lass is taking it badly, she is a huge animal lover, any type of creature big or small, but joey was also her bestest pal. she did mutter a few times 'i should have stopped you mummy, we could've held on to him if i hadve been brave and stopped you'. whish of course makes me feel worse that deep down she blames me. :-(
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have just ordered goodbye mog, cried just reading the reviews. beautiful.xx
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Here you go Joeys.
http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,45613.msg817036.html#msg817036
The hardest lesson for any of us to learn, young or old, is that letting go is often the greatest act of love we can ever bestow. Don't blame yourself. :hug:
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The Ralph site also has some information and useful links to help children with the loss of pets http://www.theralphsite.com/index.php?idPage=18
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You may finf that You have chosen tears might also help your daughter, but i dont know the level of understanding of the written word a 9yr old has so may need a bit of help.
also if you do a web search for the stages of grief this will help too.
i am firmly convinced that writing down your thoughts, memories of joey helpful for you and daughter, time and date each piece of prose or poem and keep in a notebook for the future. dont force what you write just let all emotion flow feely and both do individually and keep private unless tou want to share with each other.
very sadly this is all part of lifes lesson for your daughter and this is what You have chosen tears is about in a beatiful way.
blue cross also have a telephone councelling service for those who are having trouble dealing with the loss of their pets.
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Thankyou Gill, Jiji and Sue. I read choosing tears, then I read it again to my daughter, and she took great comfort in the 'sending a rainbow' line, as we had a beautiful rainbow here the day after our dear Joeys passing. I have also looked up the Ralph site and Blue Cross too. Things have been rather chaotic here, I guess like everywhere else too, but its good as it keep ours minds occupied. Although I cant help but think that I'm avoiding thinking about Joey which could lead to someday just breaking down, does that make sense. I received a beautiful card in the post from the vet, which was of course comforting but also made us cry. Its all topsy turvy, and still pretty much disbelief that our two oldest gentlecats have left us in a short space of time. I have a poem that was sent to me and would like to share it with you if I can manage to copy it properly. xxx
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To my dearest friend.
I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying you found it hard to sleep.
I spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you; I smiled and said, "it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to me.
Author Unknown
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Lovely poem and so many out there.
No its not strange that things are all over the place and the time of year makes it harder.
I am sure you are trying to block it out but yes it will come back often I am sure :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Poignant poem. :hug:
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Hello everyone. I hope this finds you all keeping well. I thought I would pop in to say hello and tell you some news. After my gorgeous Joey left, my daughter kept asking for another cat. I said yes, then felt 'no don't, just wait'. I cant describe why, but I told my daughter 'hold on, because I feel a cat will find us and adopt us'. Sure enough, a week or so later, she walks in with tears in her eyes holding such a pretty wee cat. Where on earth this cat came from, I don't know, we live in the middle of nowhere, very few houses around and they don't own cats. Plus she isn't wild or fearful, she is extremely friendly and a happy little soul. I feel she may have been dumped. And of course, she hasn't left. :-) . And we have named her Robin, just like the friendly wee robin that popped in here after Joey had passed. But of course, the hole in my heart from our boys passing is still very raw, I try my best not to think about him. But its impossible as I still see flashes of him in my mind, and hear his croaky meow. I dream of him all the time, and those dreams are fab, he cuddles on my chest as always. I would do anything to have him back. :hug:
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Thats wonderful and you need to start a new thread and show us Robin ;D
I am shure Joey told her wher to come :hug: :hug:
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Thats wonderful and you need to start a new thread and show us Robin ;D
I am shure Joey told her wher to come :hug: :hug:
Couldn't agree more. :)
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Hey Joeys, you know that destiny cares for us all, and there is a reason for everything? I'm sure little Robin was sent to help repair the terrible pain you and your family have been through, and even if she can't stay forever she has shown you that there is room in your hearts for another needy soul. :hug: :hug:
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Hello friends. Been a while since I came on here, days/weeks/months seem to fly by. Since we last spoke, my dad passed away, so there has been some cruel blows. He was a proper old timer, hard grafting bloke who loved his pint of guiness, loved his grandkids but couldn't understand why we had such attachments to our pets. He certainly thought we were mad when we cried over losing Joey and Hobs. But I would like to share with you a story he told my daughter a few weeks after Joey had died, to cheer her up. When he was a wee boy, he said he knew an old man who adored his cat, this cat was treated to only the best meat while the old man didn't spoil himself with fancy foods. His cat was everything. My dad says he remembered the old man with tears in his eyes one day, he had found his cat dead, and carefully laid him to rest in a grave he had dug. The man was heartbroken, my dad off course couldn't understand why would you be upset 'sure its only a cat'. But that evening, when the old man sat infront of his hearth, in strolled his cat, alive and well. Only a few months ago my dad sat round my table crying with laughter that the old man had buried someones elses cat. His crazy sense of humour. Joey is still on my mind of course, and Hobs, even today when I pulled up on the street our other cat came walking towards me and my first reacton was 'oh look at our Joe, comin to meet me'. Then it clicks that he isn't here. I have rambled enough for this evening, I hope you are all keeping ok everyone. xxxx
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You really must start a new thread to leave this one for Joey!
Sorry to hear about your grandad and sadly too manybthink like him :hug: :hug:
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Thanks for sharing that Joeys. It's good that humorous things are helping you to smile again. :hug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: