Purrs In Our Hearts - Cat Forum UK
Cat General => General Cat Chat => Topic started by: Arcanegirl on August 04, 2014, 17:10:29 PM
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We have home a little 10 week old kitten today, he seems to be quite timid so far. He is from a farm (the mother cat lives there, unexpected litter) so hasnt been handled much.
He has been hiding under my bed so far for the day and has eaten.
Whats the best way to coax him out and get him used to me and then the family?
We also have a 20 month old male cat, very laid back and mostly welcomed in a dog who came to visit last week. How do go about helping the timid kitten and introducing our current cat to each other? At the moment the bedroom that the kitten is residing in has been closed off.
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Welcome to the forum Arcane Girl :welcome:
What are the names of your two cats, and which is the kitten? How exciting to have taken on a new addition to your family.
They key to successful introductions is time and huge amounts pf patience, but this may be even more the case given that your kitten hasnt had a great deal of socialisation in those first few weeks of life.
My advice would be to try and clear out the room in which your kitten is staying for the time being, giving him no place to hide other than a bed, which could be in a cardboard box with the side cut away, or a proper cat/dog cage with a blanket draped over the top. If you can, furnish the room with a clean litter tray, a scratching post and platform, some toys to play with, and clean food and water bowls.
Two approaches. Whilst he's in his room, coax him out of the bed area with toys and play - Da Bird or a Flying Frenzy toy will be just the thing to tempt him out, but if you don't have anything like a fishing rod style toy, you can tie a piece of string round a scrumpled up piece of paper and use that instead. Use it like "prey" have it swoop, and wiggle and scurry along the ground, twitch and flip. It may take a little while for him to show interest so you'll have to persevere.
If he wont participate, then just sit quietly on the floor in his room, and do something else, like read. Dont make direct eye contact, and wait to see if he ventures out. If he does, just let him explore without exerting any kind of pressure or making sudden moves. Once he has ventured out a little way, try putting a little kitten treat or a dreamie down at a midway point between you and him - make him work to get it. Once he's taken the bait as it were, you can lay a little trail from his roosting place to where you sit, and wait to see if he comes out. Try petting with a closed fist - it's less scary to cats generally than a grabby hand.
Also, try leaving something with your scent on it in his room when you're not in it with him. You could also try scent swapping, where you leave something with your older cat's scent on it in his room, and leave something with the kitten's scent on it elsewhere for the older cat to scent track. Socks and nightwear are good things to use for this - rub them all over the cats, especially round their faces, ears and chin to get the scent on, and then exchange. :innocent:
If all of this bears fruit, you can either leave the door open for him and see if he ventures out of the room, or you can bring him out for supervised introductions, depending on how your other cat reacts, and whether the little feller will let you pick him up without too much stress.
If your other cat shows no signs of aggression or hostility, then you can see if you can just let them explore the mutual space a little - your older cat may wish to investigate the place where newcomer kitty has been holed up, cos no doubt it will be very interesting and full of unusual scents. :shify: (How did that get there......?)
See if you can engage them both in a joint play session - sometimes seeing another cat play will pique the newcomer's interest and vice versa, but monitor this carefully to make sure neither gets too boisterous or frightened by the other's. Around half an hour at a time should be enough at first, and if you can repeat this three or four times a day it will soon have the effect of getting them used to each other. If hostility's apparent, then remove the kitten back to his bedroom. Make a fuss of both the newcomer and your existing cat equally, as existing cat may feel pushed out.
Getting a plug in, such as Feliway or Pet Remedy can help to keep both cats calm, too. We put one upstairs on the landing and one in our living room when we were introducing Tinks and Moray, but neither of them were particularly timid, more just wary.
I hope this will give you some ideas to try, but if not there are some really good threads on here regarding cat introductions, so have a good look. Am sure there will be other suggestions very shortly. Also check out the stickies for the Jackson Galaxy clips, and have a look at his website for further ideas.
http://jacksongalaxy.com/
Another good place to try is The Way of Cats
http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/
We'd love to know how things go - and to see some piccies of your babies if you're able to post any. :)
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Thankyou, really informative!
The older resident cat is called Bane, he is pictured in my avatar. The kitten has no name as of yet, untill we see him and his personailty it is hard to choose one!
The kitten bolted to my bedroom so that is where he will be residing for now, unfortunatley under my bed is a little cluttered! But i will gently clear out what I can. Ive found a box I can use so ill get that into the room.
Since he has camped out in my bedroom im guessing putting my scent about shouldnt be much of an issue? Just scent swapping of the two cats between them to concentrate on.
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Like most bedrooms I would suspect! :) We're lucky inasmuch as Moray couldnt get under the bed in our spare room, although he could (and did) squeeze along the back of it. :-: Thankfully we didnt have much in there, and were able to move stuff into the third, smaller bedroom, but you work with what you have, and as long as you can keep things relatively free on the floor, you'll make things much easier for yourself. :)
Yes, if he's in your bedroom, the bedding will have your scents on, so that will be fine.
Say Hello to Bane from us, and to little No-Name-just-now. ;) Always taxing, trying to work out names for our puds when they dont already have one. Good fun though, especially as you see their characters emerging. :)
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So far I have seen him out and about the bedroom, but when I enter he is back under the bed. No interest in playing with me so I am currently sitting on my bed with the laptop to see if he ventures out still.
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You may have to consider putting him in a smaller environment with no places for him to hide (like a large pen - either a big cat cage, or alternatively a play pen type for use when you're there to spend time with him.
Did he react at all when you were just sitting on the bed, ignoring him? Did he come out and potter round relatively comfortably?
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We have no room for either unfortunately. He was coming out alot more last night but he also spent the night crying (I made a separate post about it)
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He probably would cry during the night. He's only small, and he's away from all that has been familiar to him. How would you feel about bringing him up on the bed with you (or did he clamber up to be with you?)
My OH is retired, so we took it in turns to get up and sleep with Moray in Moray's den when he woke during the night, but eventually, we allowed them both in the room together. Tinks wasnt overly happy, because he would sleep on the bed with us, but he sulked for a few days, we fussed him just the same as ever, and he soon got over it.
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We tried to coax him to us so we could bring him into the bed but with no luck
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Could be difficult to crack if you can't confine him to a smaller space.
Early days yet though. I would still say give him time.
Work with him as often as you can, whether it's trying to coax him out to play or by just spending quiet time with him.
Ideally though, he needs to be handled if you can - not necessarily by picking him up - that could just scare him, but certainly by getting close enough to pet him with an extended finger and the rest of your fist closed, or by using a toy to pet him with, instead of your hand. He needs to get used to human contact, but without rushing him. You could try withholding one of his meals until he gets close enough to take treats from alongside you, then putting his food down nearby.
I dont think it's a great idea to be petting cats whilst they're eating their meal though - after all, it's not something I would like either!
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His breakfast he has just eaten next To me and slowly moved the bowl next to me so I guess that's progress :)
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That's the way - softly, softly. :)
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Sue is so right slowly slowly is the message, ummm very very slowly :hug:
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:welcome: :welcome: :welcome: :welcome: :welcome: :welcome:
These links may be of help / interest :Luv2:
http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,4789.0.html
http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,21647.0.html
http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,4793.0.html
http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,4798.0.html
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Some great links there thankyou. We have had a little play today and he is having a venture around the hallway. I think he is missing his siblings, he sits by my mirrored wardrobe alot and looks like he is staring at another cat.
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Poor lil boy
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Awww, poor little chap!
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Slowly he is coming round to us, he will eat by my side and happily play with us. When he has run of the rooms at night when the other cat is out he will jump up on the sofa next to us. He still cries alot though. We are trying our best to spend as much time as possible with him whilst keeping resident cat and kids seperate. He cries even when wandering around the rooms though. Is there anything we can do to help or will he just grow out of it?
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(http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f328/karoline1246/2014-08-07091451.jpg) (http://s50.photobucket.com/user/karoline1246/media/2014-08-07091451.jpg.html)
(http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f328/karoline1246/2014-08-07091428.jpg) (http://s50.photobucket.com/user/karoline1246/media/2014-08-07091428.jpg.html)
(http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f328/karoline1246/2014-08-06110250.jpg) (http://s50.photobucket.com/user/karoline1246/media/2014-08-06110250.jpg.html)
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That sounds very much like he's missing his littermates and feeling a bit lonely. Sometimes the company of other cats is what they crave/miss, but obviously that's something which still needs to be carefully supervised at this stage. It's great though that he's allowing you to get close to him, and that's real progress. ;D
Loving the piccies of him. He's a dear little scrap, isn't he? :Luv:
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Do we just carry on as we are or will something like feliway help?
The two cats an be in the same Room and bane will growl at Harvey if he comes near which I kniw would be expected just now.
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I would say carry on as you are for now. The more he gets used to you, and gets close to you, the more likely he is to seek you out for company. Before long, you may be able to pick him up and handle him without him feeling uncomfortable or trying to get away. It's all about confidence building at this stage.
It's a good sign that it's just growling, and no fisticuffs between them, and as they get used to each other, that should settle down.
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Great, thankyou :)
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Lovely pics, has he got a name yet? ;D ;D
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Kitten is called Harvey :)
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Just purrrrrrfect ;D ;D
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Has Harvey got a cuddly toy??? My sis does volunteer stuff for CP back home in Belfast, and the kittens seem to love their cuddlies for company/reassurance. My "4 year old kitten" loves hers and my 15 yr old Laydee Lilli will lie on anything that I have worn...........
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I have given him a few toys from Tuesday evening. A toy cat, a teddy and a ghostie fluffy thing
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He'll decide on one and it'll be his fave. We like catnip or valerian spray here to attract mogs and establish ownership!!!
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My friend has commented Harvey cry sounds like a calling cry, 3.5 days he's been here and it's still almost constant. Are we expecting things too soon for it to calm? How long might it take before he stops calling?
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He wont be calling cos he is far too young.
You have to be prepared for everything to happen very slowly, a few days is not slowly :innocent:
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Not even for mother or siblings? We will wait it out, just no idea as previous cats we've had have settled in great and were much older
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If he has a bed area a large teddy or stuffed toy in it makes them feel less lonely it is a big change to go from being a dibling to a singleton for any little one
I wouldn't worry he isn't calling he is just being vocal because he is on his own and it takes a bit of time getting used to - I had the same problem with young Master Sergai who is now a year old as he was a single found kitten at my local cattery and came home with me after picking up my dogs from their after a holiday, he is now a Mummy's boy and best friends with my 2 youngest rescue Bengal kittens Quaver and Minstrel who are 9 months old - they were born here when Mum came on foster
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For us, it's easy to forget what it feels like to be that kitten. We're excited at having a new member of the household, and want everything to be our idea of perfect. For the kitten, they've been taken away from everything familiar, and placed in a wholly unfamiliar situation. he doesnt have the luxury of snuggling with his littermates for companionship, or looking to his Mum for guidance on all the new stuff. Because Harvey is quite reticent by nature, he's actually being incredibly courageous and adventurous by his standards.
He's definitely too young to be "calling" in a sexual sense. Some cats are vocal and others aren't. It's worth remembering though that cats seldom vocalise with each other - they usually save it for their human companions. So if he's talking, you can listen.
Where is he when he is most vocal? Where are you or other family members? What else does he do when he cries? Does Bane hear him, and if so what is Bane's reaction?
Feliway or Pet Remedy wont do any harm if you want to try it. I think it was helpful when we introduced our two, but please dont rush things if Bane isn't ready - kittens are very receptive to play and companionship. Your older cat may not be so keen to have his world rearranged, so you have to give him space to adjust too.
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He is most vocal when he's having a wander around the rooms, we are usually pottering about doing G what we normally do or watching TV and playing with him in the evening.
Bane so far has been outside when Harvey is wandering about. The meowing he has heard so far he hasn't done anything about. He just lies and watches, albeit from a distance
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That does sound to me like he's crying to see if his littermates or Mum appear. Bless his paws. Think the cuddly toy idea is nice if he takes to one, and trying to spend as much time with him when you hear him calling as you can. You could follow him round, talk to him, and ask him to show you what he's searching for - I know it sounds daft, but hearing you respond to his cries will be reassuring, and he'll know that you're taking notice of him. He won't over milk it - cats dont really go in for that. They're pretty direct with their requests - it's just us who sometimes have difficulty interpreting them. But with that little guy, I reckon it'll be fun trying to find out. and it's all part of the bonding process.
We had one lovely little chap who - when his hooman "Daddy" went out into the garden, and he was too young to follow - stood at the glass and went "squeeeeweeeeweeeeweee" in an astonishingly strident tone, because he wanted him to come back for him. It formed part of his nickname, and he became known as MacBeenz MacSquee purely because of his vocal style. Moray does a similar thing, and we often call him McMoray MacSquee in an affectionate nod to his predecessor.
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What is normal behaviour when the cats do meet? At about a 4 metre distance bane watches and growls.
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He probably will - he'll be cheesed off at the thought of some little weed muscling in on his patch. >:( He's been top cat up to now.
What sort of personality does Bane have ordinarily? That will help to deterrmine what is "normal" for him. Some cats dont get hissy or growl. Other cats do, but when faced, just turn tail and exit a room. Some cats just stay away from any kind of meeting or confrontation, and that can be the hardest reaction to resolve.
The best thing to try if the growling persists, or the turning tail and scarpering, or if fisticuffs seem to be the order of the day, is to engineer matters, such as with scent swapping and site swapping (where Bane gets to spend some time in Harvey's room, and vice-versa, without the other one being around in that room too) and then feeding at the same time on either side of a closed door, gradually leaving a gap in the door between the two. Alternatively engaging them in mutual play together.
That one took a bit of time in our house. Tinks wouldnt play. He was a "steer clear of the whole situation" kind of a guy. You could see he wanted to play, but at first he wouldn't. He'd scarper. Eventually though, he couldnt resist. We ended up at one stage with two wand toys on the go. OH wolld play with one of them, and me with the other, and have them together in the same room. (and our living room is tiny, so all ornaments and the like had to be put away for the duration!)
We were fortunate though, inasmuch as Moray was an incredibly sensible kitten, and could sense when to make a move, and what kind of move to make. He played the long game - he was a patient kitten. (Knew he had to be if he was "gonna be allowed to stay" :Luv:) [And there was a stage very early in when we thought he wasn't going to stay - my OH was being particularly devastated at Tinks' disappearing act and was all for giving up, but I managed to kick that one into the long grass, and persuaded him to try a different approach with the help of our Purrs family on here :evillaugh:]
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I've only witnessed bane at the kitten side before when we introduced him (the other cat no longer with us). We will see how it goes and report back with more information on his behaviour. I think we will be getting a feliway diffuser for our bedroom at least so we can sleep in our bed hopefully! We've even been sleeping in the living room.
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So far there is less meowing today, nit sure if coinciding that Harvey has now seen bane. They can be in the same room together but opposite. Sides. If Harvey starts wandering then bane will start growling but we haven't seen much more action than that.
We have a feliway setup in the bedroom now too.
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That sounds good. :) Opposite sides of the room is fine for the time being. It might be now that he knows there's another cat - he's smelled him - he's seen him ;D he might be feeling much more optimistic about this new place that he finds himself. Bane will be less thrilled I would imagine, but will at least be able to digest that the size of this new interloper is not much to worry about. ;)
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Harveys crying has calmed alot since yesterday morning and we were able to get our bed back last night! Hes having fun jumping up onto the bed whilst im there so hes getting used to us.
I tried feeding them together, about 2 meters apart. Harvey ate, Bane nibbled, growled and walked away leaving his food.
(http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f328/karoline1246/2014-08-09195532.jpg) (http://s50.photobucket.com/user/karoline1246/media/2014-08-09195532.jpg.html)
(http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f328/karoline1246/2014-08-09200613.jpg) (http://s50.photobucket.com/user/karoline1246/media/2014-08-09200613.jpg.html)
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Wow - that is huuuuuge progress!!! :wow: Well done.
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Sounds as if things are going really well!
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My timid kitten today has given me permission to pet him, so so happy! He's had a stressful day today with guests over (kids) and reacted by toileting not in the box but aside from that he has come so far in less than a week.
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:Luv: Well done, Harvey. (Having kids over would make me poo and pee in inappropriate places, so hey! :evillaugh: ;) )
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:Luv: Well done, Harvey. (Having kids over would make me poo and pee in inappropriate places, so hey! :evillaugh: ;) )
Me too sue! :evillaugh:
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So my timid kitten met the vet today...who commented on how friendly he was! And not bothered at all with the vaccinations he got.
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What a good little lad. Bet you were feeling rightly proud! :)