Purrs In Our Hearts - Cat Forum UK

Cat General => General Cat Chat => Topic started by: 2d on January 08, 2009, 14:10:08 PM

Title: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: 2d on January 08, 2009, 14:10:08 PM: Never posted here,before, though I've been reading for a couple of weeks.

Am sorry that my first post is such a sad one (will go to the newbies bit and introduce myself at some point).

One of our lovely cats, Edward, (Eddy-puss) was diagnosed with terminal cancer shortly before Christmas.

He's not doing too badly for the time being, but it's an aggressive cancer, and he won't last much longer.

The vet is completely baffled, as the very first symptom was a lump that appeared one night (for a change, we'd been out all day) on his hip, causing a very slight limp (that was on the 21st November (I remember because it was the anniversary of my Dad's death)). But there was nothing else - no extra drinking, no changes in behaviour, nothing.
He had lost weight, about 300g, but there was an issue with our other two cats pushing him out of his food that we'd only just discovered and put an end to - even the vet says that wasn't down to the cancer as he started gaining weight again when the bullying was stopped (by us standing over them as they eat).

Fortunately he wasn't diagnosed for a few weeks, because I and my boyfriend got married the week after that!

But when he was diagnosed, the results were that it's a very aggressive cancer that can't be treated. The tumour around his leg (which is now mostly under the leg) is the secondary tumour. Despite a truck load of x-rays they can't find the primary one. The vet said she'd never known such an aggressive cancer to not have any warning signs. Since the cancer has either spread through his blood stream or his spinal cord, there's no hope anyway because it's just too far gone.

He also went blind a few weeks ago. Again, the vet had never seen it before, and isn't sure if it's down to the cancer or a stand alone thing that would've happened anyway (she says she thinks it's a form of retinal detachment, but isn't 100% sure because he can sometimes still see light / dark, and he sometimes reacts to bright light).

He's ok for the time being - not in pain, and still enjoying eating and cuddles, and still just about able to get around (he has arthritis in the same back leg that the tumor's on), but he's slowly fading, and in truth I don't think it's going to be long before we have to call the vet to end it.

We've arranged for the vet to come to us, so he doesn't have to be scared by the journey again - I can't bear the thought of him being scared in his last hours - he hates going outside at the best of times, and with not being able to see, and not being used to that, any unfamiliar noises are terrifying to him.

As I said, I'm sorry that my first post is about this - I'm not coping with it brilliantly because, of the three we have, he's my baby - he's always been the one I've had the greatest connection with - the most timid one, and the one that occasionally needed pulling out & looking after if the play got too rough, the one who would come to see me most often for a play and a cuddle. That makes it so much harder. And he's only 9 (with us for nearly 6 years since we got him and his litter brother from a shelter).

Thank you if you've read this far - I just needed to get it out to somebody who will understand that he's not 'just a cat'. Can't talk to husband because he's nearly as upset as me.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Dawn F on January 08, 2009, 14:22:53 PM: sorry you've joined at such a bad time for you, at least it sounds like your vet is on top of everything - sadly this kind of thing is the price we pay for having all the good times - hope you have more good times to come
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Maddiesmum on January 08, 2009, 14:23:05 PM: Welcome to Purrs and I am so sorry it is in such sad circumstances that you have joined the family here. I am so sorry to read about your Eddy Puss and can only say that I hope his remaining time with you is long. He is obviously a much loved puss and he will know that. I think you have made the right decision re the vet coming to your home to save Eddy any further stress. You will find you will get lots of practical as well las moral support from the peeps on here they are lovely. Please keep us updated on your lovely boy, better still, post some pix of him. :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: bunglycat on January 08, 2009, 14:26:05 PM: Hi,
So sorry to hear about Eddy puss - no they are not just cats are they ? I understand how you feel , my cats are my life as i live on my own and admiteddly they are pretty spoilt!
Everyone on this forum will know how you are feeling , we all love and adore our cats.
Its sad you have joined under such circumstances -you will get loads of support on here - we are all /mostly mad cat people .
Take care and sending big :hug: :hug: to Eddy-puss.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: **TINA** on January 08, 2009, 14:27:51 PM: Bless you all, it is hard hun, and i understand as been there and many other have be to.
Purrs will help youget thru this.
I have tears now just thinking what your all goin thru.
he will know just how much he is loved.

:hug: to you & Eddy-puss :care: xxx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Bryony84 on January 08, 2009, 14:30:03 PM: Welcome to Purrs, I'm so sorry you have joined us in such sad circumstances but this really is the most kind, caring and supportive forum I've ever been on and everyone here will help you through whatever the future holds for you and your furry family.

Loads of :hug: to you, your husband and of course to Eddy puss
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Purrlishious on January 08, 2009, 15:04:46 PM: Hi 2d
How sad your story is & how it hurts so much. My heart aches reading your post.

You are very welcomed here amongst those who can understand what you must be feeling like right now.

Special thoughts to you & Eddy puss.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Christie on January 08, 2009, 15:09:54 PM: Hi 2d; so sorry to hear about Eddy-puss. Your story is similar to what I went through a tad over a year ago with my Lucia who became ill suddenly with an aggressive cancerous chest tumor. We had to make the hard decision on 1 January, 2008, and I miss her every day.

They aren't "just" cats, that's for sure! Lucia was my best friend and my daughter; I lived alone for most of the years I had her, and she was an amazing comfort to me in so many ways. You're among friends here, many of us have had to face this type of loss, and it does help to have people who can empathize with you.

I hope Eddy-puss stays comfortable, and you are able to spend as much good-quality time with him as possible.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Jess's Mum (Sue) on January 08, 2009, 15:10:17 PM: Hi 2d ((COMFORT HUGS)) I am so sorry.. I wish I could help.. but please know we are here for you whenever you need us ok

I may not know what to say or do but I will have a damned good try .. my thoughts and wishes are with u all

:care:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: sheryl on January 08, 2009, 15:12:49 PM: Welcome to Purrs Hun - sorry the circumstances are so sad, your are obviously hurting so much at the moment and my heart really goes out to you xxx

Thinking of you and Eddy Puss xxx sending love, huggles and positive vibes for Ed and big :hug: for you.

Just cherish every moment with him and I am sure that when the time comes you will find the strength to do what has to be done for your little one xxx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: 2d on January 08, 2009, 15:33:02 PM: Thank you all so much.

The thing that's worrying me most of all is not having the strength to let go when I know I have to.

I've had cats for years - since I was a kid, but those that are gone - they've all died suddenly - one hit by a car and died from his injuries, one taken ill and died so quickly that we never had chance to get him to the vet - that kind of thing.

I've never had to have one put to sleep before, and I'm worried that I won't know when it's time, or won't be able to let him go, and that he'll be in pain...

Sorry - have been bottling things up for weeks.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Michelle (furbabystar) on January 08, 2009, 15:38:26 PM: I am so sorry to read this -

I think You will know when it's time, also be guided by your vet :hug:

Stay on this board, between us we will help you through this. Many on here have had to make that decision and its never easy.

xxxx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: sheryl on January 08, 2009, 15:49:23 PM: You will know when it is time Hun and you will find the strength to let go, it is one of the hardest things in the world but when that dreaded time comes we owe it to the furbabies that we love. :hug:

We will all be here for you, there have honestly been times when I wouldnt have been able to cope without my friends here on Purrs (I had to have 2 furbabies PTS less than 4 weeks apart)
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: CarolM (Wendolene) on January 08, 2009, 16:05:51 PM: Quote from: 2d on January 08, 2009, 15:33:02 PM
Thank you all so much.

The thing that's worrying me most of all is not having the strength to let go when I know I have to.

Sorry - have been bottling things up for weeks.

I'm so sorry you are suffering so :hug:- There's no such thing as 'just a cat' to those of us who have welcomed these wonderful creatures into our lives - they are family and we feel their pain and loss just as much as we would the pain and loss of a child because we are responsible for them. It will be hard to let go - there's no denying that - but the very fact that you are worried about having the strength to do so shows that you WILL find that strength and we will all be here for you. In the meantime enjoy the time you have left with Eddy-puss.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Tiggy's Mum on January 08, 2009, 16:18:39 PM: Sorry you're joining us in such sad circumstances :hug:

It's heartbraking to have to let an animal that we have loved and cherished go but when the time comes it really is the greatest gift you can give him. I had to have my childhood cat of 19 years put to sleep almost two years ago now. I was absolutely devastated and still miss her but I know I did the right thing for her. I found this poem very poignant...

The Greatest Gift

I always knew this time would come,
From the very instant our eyes first met.
How I loved you then! How I love you now!
I made a promise then, and I will keep that promise now...
You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal;
You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone.

It is for me alone to make this decision,
The price for the bright joy and pure laughter
You brought me during the time we shared.
I am the only one who can decide when it is time.
When my hope dies, and my fear rides high,
Just when I need you most, I must let you go.

It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready
For without your guidance, I will not know
When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger
My sorrow and my selfish heart aside
And give you this last gift, this greatest gift.
Your eyes will speak to mine, and I will know.

The pain of this moment is excruciating.
Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow.
And my heart drowns in a pool of grief.
For you have spoken and I have listened,
And unlike other decisions I have made
This one brings no relief...no comfort...no peace.

For if there's one thing you've taught me,
If there's only one thing I've learned...
Unconditional love has a condition after all,
I must be willing to let you go, when you speak to me
I must be willing to help you go, if you cannot go alone.
And I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.

Go easily now, go quickly now,
Do not linger here, it is time for you to leave.
Go find your strength, go find your youth.
Go find the ones who've gone before you.
You are free to leave me now, free to let your spirit soar
Rest easy now, your pain will soon be gone.

I pray I will find comfort in my memories...
In the dark and lonely days ahead.
I cannot say I will not miss you, I cannot say I will not cry.
For only my tears can heal my broken heart.
But, I promise you this; as long as I live,
You will live, alive in my mind, forever in my heart.

So I give you this last gift, all I have left to give,
And this will be my greatest gift...sending you away.
It is the measure of my unconditional love...
For only the greatest love can say,
"Goodbye, go find the bridge, we'll meet again,
Loving you has been the greatest gift of all."

Forever and Always... Until Rainbow bridge....
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Janeyk on January 08, 2009, 16:29:57 PM: Hi 2d :) I'm very sorry to hear about your dear cat Edward as others have said do join us for support when you need to :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Sam (Fussy_Furball) on January 08, 2009, 16:40:10 PM: Hi 2d,

I'm so sorry you've joined us at such a sad time :hug: We all understand that our special furry friends are not "just cats" they are little hairy members of the family and are as much loved (sometimes more so) than any human ;)

As the others on here have said you will know when the time is right to let Eddy-puss cross over. He will let you know :hug:

Enjoy your remaining time with your special friend (take lots of photos and spoil him rotten).

We are all here for you to offer support and a "cyber" shoulder to cry on. Sadly too many of us know the pain and heartache that is associated with having to make the decision of letting a friend go ... but it is the greatest gift we can give them by allowing them to go without pain, suffering and with dignity.

Take care

Sam xxxx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: swampmaxmum on January 08, 2009, 18:23:01 PM: Hello 2d,

I'm so very sorry to read about Edward, your much loved Eddy-Puss. I hope he has more time with you than you think, but if your time is short, try to enjoy every special second with him. I know it is so hard as your inclination is just to cry all the time and think about his loss. Everyone on Purrs is lovely and supportive and understands how deeply we love our little ones, when often the world out there doesn't understand your sorrow over 'a cat'. I'm so sorry that Edward's been unlucky to fall so terribly ill at such a relatively young age and I am sure that you will know from him when he's had enough. A big hug to both you and your husband and purrs for Edward :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Kirst on January 08, 2009, 18:23:21 PM: Hi 2d and welcome.

Sorry your first post is on such a sad note - we had to have Oscar PTS last April an it was the first time for me too - I knew it was coming like you , and also dreaded not knowing but in the end I could see it in his eyes that it was time to say goodbye.

I found this poem soon after and it really helped.

If It Should Be

If it should be I grow frail and weak,
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you should do what must be done
For this last battle can’t be won.

You will be sad - I - understand
Don’t let your grieve then stay your hand,
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love and friendship stand the test.

We've had so many happy years
What is to come will hold no fears,
You'd not want me to suffer, so
When the time comes - please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
Only stay with me to till the end,
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you too will see,
It is a kindness you do for me
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Do not grieve that it should be you
Who has decided this thing to do
We've been so close - we two-these years
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: bonnielass on January 08, 2009, 18:47:29 PM: Hi 2d im so sorry your having such a bad time at the moment, but sweetheart we have all been there and the support you will get on here is fantastic, its a heartbreaking decision to make but believe me you will know when the time comes :( so make the most of your time with Eddie and lots of love and cuddles for him and hugs for you too. :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Millys Mum on January 08, 2009, 18:52:45 PM: Sorry to hear about Edward :hug: :hug: :hug:
Its always difficult to know when to let go, let your vet guide you and keep in mind its quality over quantity, whilst hes happy your doing ok
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Zenith (Liz) on January 08, 2009, 19:11:15 PM: I'm sorry :(

I lost my 19 year old darling over a year ago and enjoy thinking about all the fun things we did, go and make fresh memories of love and cuddles with your babe :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls on January 08, 2009, 21:50:16 PM: Sorry to read about your Eddy, you will know whats best for him when the time comes :hug:

I wish Eddy a happy and peacefull end, and sending keep strong thoughts to you and your partner :)
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Topsy Turvey on January 08, 2009, 21:58:29 PM: 2d I am so sorry to hear about Eddy Puss. We went through a very similar thing with Sasha who we had to have pts two and a half years ago.

My thoughts are with you all at this very sad time x x :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on January 08, 2009, 22:02:56 PM: I am so sorry to hear about Eddy Puss and I hope that the rest of his time with you is longer than you expect and so happy.

Take each day as it comes and love him to bits, this is the hardest time and right now I understand what you are going through, as do all on Purrs :hug: :hug: :hug: to you and Eddy
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Christine (Blip) on January 09, 2009, 10:50:13 AM: I am so sorry to welcome you to Purrs at such a sad and painful time. My thoughts are with you and please don't hesitate to share your feelings here. :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: clarenmax on January 09, 2009, 16:44:40 PM: I can only echo the sentiments already posted on here, in that I'm sorry to welcome you to us under such sad circumstances. Treasure every day you have together :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: 2d on January 10, 2009, 00:36:09 AM: Thank you again.

He had a bit of a better day today. I honestly didn't think he was going to make it to the end of the week on Wednesday. He had a bit more trouble getting about than he had till then (though it's hard to tell how much of it is the tumour, and how much the arthritis, the latter obviously being a little worse cos of the cold weather).

But I went downstairs this afternoon to find him in the kitchen waiting to be fed!

My state of mind really wasn't helped by a couple of people, but is ok at the moment. One of Nige's* work colleagues, when he went in late and left early one day to take Ed to the vet and pick him up, told him that she didn't see why we didn't just have him put to sleep (she said have him destroyed), and get another one. >:( This was before we knew what was wrong and when it might have just been inflamation. And another person pointed out that we could get ten cats for the cost of the vets bills, and why bother? >:( >:(

Still taking it day by day, but fingers crossed he'll be with us a little longer.

(*Nige is my husband)
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: 2d on January 10, 2009, 00:40:28 AM: ps - thought you might like to see who I've been writing about (if this works)..... He'd like you to excuse his bald bit (from the biopsy).
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls on January 10, 2009, 02:44:34 AM: Aww bless him, he's lovely :Luv2:

And to the idiots that dont understand what its like to love something that loves you back wholeheartedly with no complaints, what utter :censored: holes! :)
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: MooCat on January 10, 2009, 04:36:03 AM: What a gorgeous lad he is , looks very much like my moms cat "Monty" i know its hard but just try to enjoy
his company for the time you have left together , as for the people that dont understand ...... well theyre just not
the same as us and its their loss not ours.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Janeyk on January 10, 2009, 07:28:20 AM: :Luv2: What a beautiful kitty, do give him a cuddle from me please xx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Maddiesmum on January 10, 2009, 09:20:44 AM: Ignore those people 2d they obviously have never bonded with a cat. He is gorgeous and I am glad he has been a little better :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Desley (booktigger) on January 10, 2009, 09:41:27 AM: He is lovely, and fingers crossed he can have lots more time with you
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Kirst on January 10, 2009, 10:25:01 AM: He's eautiful , an ignore all those ignoramuses who need to think before they open their traps!
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Tiggy's Mum on January 10, 2009, 11:35:09 AM: What a beautiful boy :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Stuart on January 10, 2009, 11:45:37 AM: Im So so Sorry to read about Eddy Puss, He's Adorable :Luv: :Luv: :Luv:
It Must be so Hard For you both right now :(
and I know what you mean when you say you dont know if you will have the strength to do the final kindness
when it was my Hamish's time to leave for the bridge I was wracked with the "What if ? Syndrome "
But Believe me They will let you know themselves, " It's as if they are telling you, Ok, I've had enough now, I want to go "
ither by the quality of life the have left or that look they give you. It Is So hard to do, but it must be done (the final Kindness)
I'm so sorry you've found purr's under such sad circumstances (that's how I found Purr's too)
The Folks on here are simply wonderful
Please Ignore the "It's just a cat, get another one" ar :censored: le's, thier closed minds do not understand.

:hug: :hug: :hug: to you both and give Eddy a little head rub from me :care:

My thoughts are with You Both

Stuart n Misty
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on January 10, 2009, 11:52:40 AM: Eddy is gorgeous and looks very good at the moment :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Mark on January 10, 2009, 11:54:23 AM: I know it's hard for you but you are doing the best you can for him :hug:

I feel sorry for pathetic, shallow idiots who have no idea what it's like to have animal family. They are the ones missing out. :hug:

He is :Luv2:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Gwen on January 10, 2009, 11:58:35 AM: How adorable is he and I agree with Gill,he looks great,look at them clear big eyes :Luv2: :Luv2:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Sam (Fussy_Furball) on January 10, 2009, 12:40:13 PM: Ahhhh Eddy is a stunner and he looks really good at the moment :Luv2:

I have added a couple of links to your "introduction" thread that you might want to read later.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: bonnielass on January 10, 2009, 12:47:57 PM: Eddie is beautiful :Luv: and those narrow minded people who make those horrible comments really are the loosers as they obviously have never had a kittie to love, i suppose we should feel sorry for them as they dont know what they are missing. :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on January 10, 2009, 12:50:56 PM: Oh yes and ignore the prats.......do they have children and are they ever sick................so why dont they just get rid of them and get another grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Apologies to all the cat lovers on here who also have chidren :scared:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: bunglycat on January 10, 2009, 15:01:02 PM: Quote from: Gill (sneakiefeline) on January 10, 2009, 12:50:56 PM
Oh yes and ignore the prats.......do they have children and are they ever sick................so why dont they just get rid of them and get another grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Apologies to all the cat lovers on here who also have chidren :scared:

Same thing here .
He is gorgeous , glad he is having a good day , hope you have a lot more time with him.
Sending :hug: :hug: to you all , take care .
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: 2d on January 10, 2009, 15:10:44 PM: Quote
Oh yes and ignore the prats.......do they have children and are they ever sick................so why dont they just get rid of them and get another grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

One of them has dogs, and clearly hates cats (I don't understand how you can have any pet yourself and not be sympathetic to others, regardless of what the pet is). Nige said if she spoke to him like that again he'd shoot her dogs, (not that he'd ever do that in a million years, of course, he was just upset), and see how easy it was for her to 'just get another'.

Quote
I have added a couple of links to your "introduction" thread that you might want to read later.

Thank you very much - have bookmarked them to read later on. I'd looked at a couple of pages about that already (what George wwas going to do was one of the first thoughts that hit me once the initial shock was gone - he looks after ed, and regularly washes him) - it's easier to look at these things while he's still here. But these ones are much better, so I'll read properly when I get chance.

The thing abut Ed at the moment is he's having bad days and good days. Just when I think he's only going to have a day or two left, he picks up and has a good day, and goes hopping round the house on the one back leg that's still working properly...
He is making a bit of a mess of the litter tray though - using it fine, but then he turns round to bury it, and more often than not (not being able to see) steps right in it, bless him :shy:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on January 10, 2009, 20:10:41 PM: I have 3 legged cat and he likes to bury but is hopeless at it and usually misses :)
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: Angeladeedah on January 11, 2009, 09:38:34 AM: Hiya. Sorry, just catching up with this thread.

I am so sorry that you have joined here under such sad circumstances. This will be a really difficult time for you all. Ignore those people who are making horrible comments - they just don't understand the bond that most people have with their pets......and to be honest, I didn't understand it either until I got my own.

Make the most of the time you have left with him and enjoy it. We all feel your pain on here. :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying.
Post by: swampmaxmum on January 12, 2009, 12:43:26 PM: Ed is lovely :hug:

I can just echo what others have said about the wonderful support Purrs people give when things are so difficult. It is a often a real rollercoaster when our little ones are so ill, I so understand exactly what you mean when you say you think that this is it on his bad days, only for him to rally. I understand how scared you get to take decisions when there are good days. May there be many good days still together :hug: . When I was panicking on here, a wise person (ok, Sue!) told me simply to take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if needs be.

As for those who are otherwise nice but don't understand what you are going through for "a cat" - I've had to learn not to even mention my cat troubles as they just can't understand so it's pointless. As for the cretins who go out of their way to make comments that upset you, well what pathetic apologies for human beings they are. Avoid them or put salt in their coffee.
:hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday). :o(
Post by: 2d on January 15, 2009, 23:45:21 PM: We've decided we have to call the vet out tomorrow (Friday) to have Eddy put to sleep.

He's still not in much pain - just a bit of an arthritic ache (I'd know if he was hurting). But he's finding it a lot harder to get about, and one of his tumours (the one we know about is under his back leg) must be pressing on his bladder because he keeps wetting himself.
It started yesterday, and now he's pretty much completely incontinent. We left it a day because he has a history of nervous weeing, so I wanted to make sure it wasn't just that something had scared him.

But it's got worse gradually. Since there's no hope he can get better, we can't let him go on like that. So Nige has booked the afternoon off work (was very firm with his twit of a boss), and we'll call the vet out.

Obviously if he was in pain we'd call the vet straight away, but since he's not, and since we're happy to mop up after him and keep him clean, we're having a little time with him to say goodbye, and to spoil him with his fave foods and that kind of thing, first.

We knew it was coming, but we're both heartbroken. Me especially, because I work from home, so it's just me and the boys alone all day.

I've sent a message to my other boys at the bridge to look after him.

CAn't stop crying. I just don't want him to go.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Susanne (urbantigers) on January 15, 2009, 23:50:27 PM: I'm sorry you've found us in such sad circumstances :hug:

I hope tomorrow goes as well as can be expected. It won't be easy for you but you are doing the right thing by Eddy :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Topsy Turvey on January 15, 2009, 23:57:43 PM: Oh 2d honey I just want to give you these :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

I know you will have given it an awful lot of thought and soul searching. Only you and Nige can know when the unfortunate time has come for your lovely Ed. As Stuart said, it is the final kindness to help him rest in peace.

We are here all here for you when you want to talk x
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Bonkers Mad!!! on January 16, 2009, 00:16:12 AM: this is so sad :'(

i'll be thinking of you tomorrow :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Stuart on January 16, 2009, 01:31:38 AM: no words can make you feel better :(
just know our thoughts will be with you and Eddy Puss
and your amongst people who understand
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls on January 16, 2009, 01:35:25 AM: Even though you knew it would come one day, it still does not make it any easier. My thought and strength will be with you for tomorrow.

Eddy I send my prayers to you and wish you a safe journey home little fella, send your mummy and daddy a message once you arrive, good night God bless little one xxxx

So sorry :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Maddiesmum on January 16, 2009, 08:04:39 AM: I am so sorry 2d. I hope Eddy enjoys his special time with you and that his crossing to the Bridge is a peaceful one. Big hug to you on this hearbreaking day :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Mark on January 16, 2009, 08:11:40 AM: So sorry :'(

You are being brave putting Eddy first and sparing him the discomfort and pain. I can't think of any words of comfort other than you did your best for him :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Desley (booktigger) on January 16, 2009, 08:30:30 AM: I am sorry that his time has come, but he is lucky that you are strong enough to let him go with dignity. You will be in my thoughts this afternoon.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: JackSpratt on January 16, 2009, 09:06:58 AM: I've not read this until now. I'm so sorry about Eddy; he looks such a nice little man. Take comfort in knowing that he'll have recognised how cherished he was. You and your partner loving him will have made so much of a difference in his life. I'll be thinking of you this afternoon too. :care:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: koscha (Ruth M) on January 16, 2009, 09:22:30 AM: Blessing upon you and Eddy, what a wonderful set of cat parents you are to have the strength to let him go. :Luv:

No more pain Eddy, just butterflies and sunny patches on the bridge sweetheart :Luv2: :Luv2:

you are all in my thoughts today..... :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Bryony84 on January 16, 2009, 09:25:10 AM: I can only really echo what others have said, I too will be thinking of you today.

It sounds like you are going to give Eddy so much love and attention in the next few hours, that he will go to the bridge knowing he had the best parents ever. :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Yvonne on January 16, 2009, 09:25:54 AM: My thoughts are with you too :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: sheryl on January 16, 2009, 09:36:36 AM: I am so sorry and will be thinking of you and Ed today :hug: :hug: :hug:

For the lovely Ed - I wish you a peaceful crossing to the bridge sweet boy xxx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: clarenmax on January 16, 2009, 09:42:34 AM: Thinking of you both today, and sending lots of :hug:.

I don't think any of us have any words which will help right now, but we are all here for you xx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Janeyk on January 16, 2009, 10:10:55 AM: :hug: so sorry and will be thinking of you xx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: LesleyW on January 16, 2009, 10:15:52 AM: So sorry to read this and will be thinking of you all today. What you are doing is the greatest gift we can give to our babies at the end so do not feel guilty, just feel blessed to have shared your lives with him and remember all the happy times.

The pain that you feel in his passing will be the pain you have taken from him, allowing him to be healthy and happy at the Bridge. :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Kirst on January 16, 2009, 10:36:10 AM: Im so sorry to read this you , will be in my thoughts and prayers today. :'(

Play hard at the bridge Eddypuss - let you Mummy an Daddy know you have arrived safely. :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Gwen on January 16, 2009, 10:38:50 AM: Sorry to read this :'( You and Eddy will be in our thaughts today :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Sam (Fussy_Furball) on January 16, 2009, 11:05:08 AM: Quote from: Lesley (Eight Lives Left Kitten Rescue) on January 16, 2009, 10:15:52 AM
So sorry to read this and will be thinking of you all today. What you are doing is the greatest gift we can give to our babies at the end so do not feel guilty, just feel blessed to have shared your lives with him and remember all the happy times.

The pain that you feel in his passing will be the pain you have taken from him, allowing him to be healthy and happy at the Bridge. :hug: :hug:

I couldn't have put it any better.

Take care and know that we are all here for you and will be thinking of you at this difficult time. You are Nige are obviously devoted and caring "slaves" and are showing the final act of kindness for Edward. Big hugs to you both :hug:, chin rubs to George and Magnus who will be aware that something is going on and of course a Great big hug to Eddy xxxxx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: CarolM (Wendolene) on January 16, 2009, 11:50:29 AM: My thoughts are with you all at this heartbreaking time :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on January 16, 2009, 11:54:37 AM: so very sorry to hear this and am thinking of you and eddy puss as he flies to the bridge. you are making the hardest decision for you but the kindest one for eddy puss :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: 2d on January 16, 2009, 18:19:22 PM: He's gone.

Vet came a few hours ago.

Ed had lots of cuddles all day, and I gave him some salmon for lunch, which, of course, he rejected in favour of his favourite supermarket cat food (just like him. He had a whole saucer of milk.

And I held him and stroked him till he was gone. He was on his cushion, by the radiator, safe and warm.

We showed him to the other cats, and hugged him some more, and now the vet's taken him away to be cremated.

I can't stop crying. I feel exactly how i did when I was a kid and my Dad died. I knew he emant more to me than any pet I've ever had, but I don't think I realised just how much he menat to me.

I told him to find Vlad (our cat who was killed in an rta) when he got to the bridge. Vlad will look after him, even though they never met down here.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated - tomorrow (Friday).
Post by: Maddiesmum on January 16, 2009, 18:20:52 PM: So sorry 2d but in releasing Eddy you have taken on his pain. Glad he had a peaceful crossing and you cry all you want. We are all here for you :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on January 16, 2009, 18:23:42 PM: RIP Eddy Puss, you were loved right to the end and will be forever
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Christine (Blip) on January 16, 2009, 18:26:01 PM: I am so sorry for your loss. You spared Eddie from suffering and that is the greatest gift you ever gave him. My thoughts are with you.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: ginge66 on January 16, 2009, 18:29:05 PM: So sorry for you all :'( even though you made the right decision its not an easy one to make as many of us on here know.

RIP Eddy cat.

:hug: :hug: for you 2d
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Sam (Fussy_Furball) on January 16, 2009, 18:56:45 PM: So sorry :hug:

RIP Ed ... play hard at the bridge little man. Much loved and sorely missed. Vlad and all the Purrs kitties will look after you sweetheart until it's time for your Mummy and Daddy to collect you xxx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: JackSpratt on January 16, 2009, 19:02:25 PM: I'm so sorry. Even when you know letting go is the right thing, it's still such a terrible feeling. Sending you hugs. :care:

They will not go quietly,
the cats who've shared our lives.
In subtle ways they let us know
their spirit still survives.

Old habits still make us think
we hear a meow at the door.
Or step back when we drop
a tasty morsel on the floor.

Our feet still go around the place
the food dish used to be,
And, sometimes, coming home at night,
we miss them terribly.

And although time may bring new friends
and a new food dish to fill,
That one place in our hearts
belongs to them. . . and always will.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Janeyk on January 16, 2009, 19:05:17 PM: :hug: :'( very sad, I do feel for you, your Ed is now at peace.

Godbless Ed xx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: ems on January 16, 2009, 19:08:33 PM: Have only just seen this 2d, what a handsome boy Ed was :Luv:

I can't imagine what yo mnust be feeling, bt wanted to send you lots of :hug: :hug: :hug: and let you know that we are all thinking of you

RIP Ed, play hard at the bridge :(
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Kirst on January 16, 2009, 19:09:03 PM: :hug: :hug: So Sorry. RIP Eddy Puss - free from pain at the bridge. :'(
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: clarenmax on January 16, 2009, 19:18:44 PM: RIP little one, play hard at the bridge now, free from any pain or illness xxxxx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Stuart on January 16, 2009, 19:49:04 PM: Im So so Sorry :'(

:RIP: Eddy Puss play hard at the Bridge

(http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd228/culnara/message-1.jpg)

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: **TINA** on January 16, 2009, 19:58:59 PM: So sorry to read this :care:

Thinkin of you :hug:

:RIP: Ed xxxxxx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Gwen on January 16, 2009, 20:02:12 PM: I'm so sorry hun :hug:

RIP Ed :'(
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Susanne (urbantigers) on January 16, 2009, 20:50:17 PM: :hug:

RIP Eddy. Play hard at the bridge until your humans come for you. The other Purrs puds will welcome you with open paws.

I ONLY WANTED YOU

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

Author unknown
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Zenith (Liz) on January 16, 2009, 22:06:53 PM: I'm so sorry 2d :(

Sleep in peace now Ed
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: bunglycat on January 16, 2009, 22:16:37 PM: So sorry 2d .
Safe journey to the bridge Ed where you can meet all the other fur babies and play until mummy comes to stay with you.
:RIP: handsome Ed.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: pappilon on January 16, 2009, 22:23:57 PM: RIP sweet Ed. :'(

I am so sorry for your loss , i do feel for you. :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Gillian Harvey on January 16, 2009, 22:33:31 PM: I'm so sorry to hear about Ed :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: bonnielass on January 16, 2009, 22:38:43 PM: Just caught up with this update,2d im so sorry for your loss :'( you did the hardest but the kindest thing a meomy can do and let him pass with dignity and im sure he will know how much you loved him and he will be waiting at the bridge for you when the time is right to meet again :hug: :hug: :candle: RIP ED till you meet again
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Tiggy's Mum on January 16, 2009, 23:13:10 PM: Sorry to hear this :hug: As much as it hurts you really did give him the greatest gift :hug:

RIP little Ed, safe and sound at the Bridge until your Mum and Dad are ready to collect you xx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Purrlishious on January 16, 2009, 23:57:19 PM: How sad I am for you. Poor little Ed...RIP

Let the angels take care of you at the bridge little one.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Indys Mamma on January 17, 2009, 00:13:12 AM: :hug: :hug: :hug: from us too

(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r49/CityKittyFish/art/DearHeart3.jpg)
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: alisonandarchie on January 17, 2009, 12:27:29 PM: So sorry :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: 2d on January 18, 2009, 03:30:52 AM: Thank you all - it really does help.

I don't feel guilty at all for having had it done - I thought I would - but I think I'd only feel guilty if I'd prolonged things out of my own selfishness of not wanting to lose him.

Today's been harder than I thought - he was my little clingy boy who used to follow me around everywhere I went all day (I work from home) - the others are more independant, but Ed was always with me - so it's been lonely today. I'm having trouble eating and sleeping, but Nige is forcing me to at least do the former.

Nige got up this morning and went to check if his bedding needed changing - I went to feed him this afternoon. :(

Because we're getting his ashes back, Nige has talked to a friend, a wood turner, who's going to make a nice pot to put the ashes in - he can then sit in the dining room near one of his beds.

Today I was going through some old photo cds, and I found some pictures I must have taken years ago and forgotten about.

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Janeyk on January 18, 2009, 07:47:08 AM: :Luv: a lovely sweet boy and bless your Nige for keeping you busy, take care xx
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: MooCat on March 13, 2009, 11:05:03 AM: Aww gorgeous boy , it doesnt get easier im afraid to say im still grieving over Ernie
6 months later but you just realise that you were their chosen one who cared and
loved them , the cats of my childhood would always have been my special ones
but Ernie ......... o god if only they could be wih us for life.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: nessa (A C S ) on March 13, 2009, 16:10:51 PM: :candle: so sorry
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: alisonandarchie on March 13, 2009, 18:52:55 PM: Thinking about you :hug:
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Catjane on March 14, 2009, 15:32:07 PM: I am so sorry you have had to say goodbye to Eddie. You have carried out the greatest and most difficult act of love a mummy and daddy can. My thoughts are with you. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Play hard at the Bridge, little one.
Title: Re: Am new - cat's dying. Updated again - Ed's gone.
Post by: Topsy Turvey on March 14, 2009, 21:42:19 PM: Sorry to hear about Eddy Puss. RIP little man, play hard at the bridge with our babies already there x