Purrs In Our Hearts - Cat Forum UK
In Loving Memory Cats => Rainbow Bridge - In Loving Memory => Topic started by: Tan on October 02, 2007, 11:18:50 AM
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It's been 3 weeks now and my brain has been blocking out the pain and any thoughts of my lad. I haven't been able to admit it and not able to tell you all as it would make it real, i still don't want to except it and just want to live in a world where my Gizzy and Rio are simply just out and will be coming home soon.
Ya all know that i lost my special wonderful lad Rio on 9th July to RTA. There is a hole in my heart that will never heal. What sent me in to denial and a total block was my Gizzy got hit and killed 3 weeks ago on 10th Sept. My so wonderful Mr spitty, my gorgeous adorable babe. I still find it hard to write, i don't want to except it, this seems like only words and he will be home soon. Wonderful friends have said it would help to post about it but i really don't want to. He isn't gone, Rio isn't gone.
I do feel so bad and i do blame myself cause if i had continued to keep Gizzy in as i did for 7 weeks after My Rio was killed, he would be home, i would be able to cuddle and love him. I would be able to kiss that gorgeous belly and there would still be fresh scratches on my hand. I tried so hard to give him all he needed to stay inside and be safe and in the 1st two weeks he seemed happy. With the arrival of Garfy and them getting on sooo well very quickly, i thought yesss my lads are now safe and happy.
Then Gizzy started to stop playing, stop doing anything just sleeping and mopping. I tried to get him to play, give him his fav food, brought new toys, spent alot of every day trying to make him happy. The vets said there was nothing physically wrong with him. After seeing him like this for 5 weeks it was breaking my heart. I felt i had no choice but to let him back out. For me i realised either way it was a no win situation for me. To have him depressed kept inside for the rest of his life, we would be both be upset and to let him out again as he was used to for a year and half, i would worry every second he wasn't home but at least Gizzy would be happy. I gave up praying to keep them safe cause for the two years i prayed to keep Rio safe, he was taken form me. God stopped hearing them.
I want my babes to be happy so i am happy. Oh my darling lads i so hope you are happy and together on the bridge with Ochi, Rio's brother. My heart will never ever be full again.
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Oh no, Tan, how terrible - I did not know you had been through it all again with your other babe. I am filling up thinking of what you are going through.
You are right though, you couldn't keep him in if it was getting him down, you did all you could for him.
I am so so sorry :hug:
I hope both Gizzy and Rio are together with Ochi on the bridge and that you are sent a sign that they are all together happy and waiting to meet you again
xxxxxxxxx
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Tan I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, we were the same with Algie, he needed his freedom but paid the price, I try to rationalise that he had a short life but a happy one I hope that soon you can do the same - hugs Dawn
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Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry, I had no idea anything had happened to Gizzy.
You did what was best for Gizzy by letting him out, it’s not your fault what happened to him or Rio.
One day you’ll be able to look back without the tears but it’ll take time.
Take care of your self, :hug:
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Tan its a heart breaking decision we all make and its never easy to accept we won't see them again or feel them, or hear them and you have had a pretty rough year with the loss of the boys
Gizzy was happy when you let him out not the depressed boy he was when he was confined to barracks
Sometimes we only ever borrow them for a short while but they pack so much in their time with us but its never long enough and hindsight is a wonderful thing but it never helps us feel the pain any less
Your boys have all been loved and wanted, known a loving set of parents, people who adore them for who they are and will never forget them and have shared them with us through the laughter and tears. It just seems you have a lot of tears at the moment
I know it helps to remember them and although its not much help time will help the paid go away but their loss is always with us.
I have a garden of remembrance for ours with plants for their season and headstones with dates and names and when their special day comes around we dig our photo's and have a happy and sad day, happy for them being our babies and the sadness for the loss
So from the current clan 36 and the 2 dogs and Liz and Robin our heartfelt sympathies at this time
and for our Bridge Kids - Toerag, Haggis, Moose, Holly, Breeze and Bertie please look out for Tans boys and cause your havoc there as you did in life :hug: :(
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Oh Tan i am so so sorry.
I lost 4 cats in just over 2yrs so i know what you are going through, I also know the terrible guilt you are suffering at the moment too. Like you I blamed myself for allowing the cats to go out after the first RTA but again like you my cats werent happy being kept in so what was I to do ?
(((Tan))) my heart really does go out to you, I know it isnt of much comfort to you right now but it will get easier, time is a great healer.
I got to agree with Dawn, His life may have been short but it was a happy one and I dont care what anyone else says thats how I feel, you did what was best for him by allowing him to be a cat and have his freedom.
Tan, sending you healing hugs - Take it a day at a time and be gentle on yourself.....You are not to blame for what has happened.
RIP Gizzy, Now reunited with Rio until Mummy comes for you both xxx
Much love Michelle xxxxxxxxx
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I am So Sorry for your Loss :hug: :hug:
Just think of Gizzy and Rio Playing hard at the bridge, Happy and contented
You are Right though, that although they're out of sight" They WILL always be with you "
27 days have passed since My Hamish was sent to the Bridge, and a day
hasn't went by without a Tear for Him, but when it get's bad, I just for
a moment, imagine Him sitting on my shoulder, and that seem's to ease
the pain a wee bit.
I personally found it easier to talk about it, "to people who understand !!" rather than bottle it all up
remember, we are all here for you :Luv: :hug:
thinking of you
Misty n Stuart :hug: :hug: :hug:
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So sorry Tan. You must be heartbroken. I guess that explains why you haven't been on here much. I assumed it was because it was tax time :( - I really don't know what to say. We just try to do the best we can to make them happy and thats all you did :hug:
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Sweetie I'm so glad you finally decided to speak about it. You know what I said before and I still stand by it, you did the most wonderful thing for Gizzy and gave him what he needed to be happy. He's with Rio and Ochi now and by Job they are having fun at the Bridge.
We're all here for you. I'm hoping that speaking about it finally gives you some peace, I know this has been so hard on you and I have no way of knowing how to take that pain away.
RIP Gizzy boy, send mum a rainbow and play hard hard hard at the bridge darling. xxx
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So sorry to hear of your double blow Tan, you must be utterly devastated but the good thing is the wee boys will have no knowledge of whats outside their confinement so hopefully you'll never have to endure pain like this again.
RIP Gizzy, have fun with Rio :hug:
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Oh Tan :hug:
I'm so so sorry to hear about Gizzy.
Please don't blame yourself, you have only ever done what you thought was the best for your gorgeous boys :hug:
RIP Gizzy, have a good play with Rio and Ochi
ems
xxxxx
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I expect today is another hard one hun, after putting it in words now but, just remember, Gizzy and Rio are always at home with you in your heart and YOU WILL SEE THEM AGAIN, and they will be happy and young and full of love for you as you are for them.
They are never ours to restrain and if they want freedom we have to give it to them and though it is heartbreaking for us, they have lived their lives as they chose and we can give them no more than that.
RIP Gizmo and Rio, enjoy playing at the Bridge together with no worries - look out for my babies up there, especially kitten Rivet who came to join you just recently.
Giant :hug: to you Tan. Call me if you want a chat.
Lesley xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Tan, I'm so sorry darling. Words fail me and I'm sitting here crying for you. It just doesn't seem fair that you have to go through all this pain again.
But please never blame yourself for giving Gizzy the freedom he was used to and loved so much.
I'll be lighting candle for him tonight and will ask my bridge boys Paddy and Momo to look after your little lad.
Chris
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I am so pleaed you have been able to post Tan and I know how much you miss Gizzy. :hug:
Like Ruth , I also standbye what I said and that you had no choice but to let him be a happy cat again, its just so sad those drivers cant take more care.
I am sure that Gizzy is racing around on the Bridge with Rio and Ochi and part of me has always felt that he went looking for his mate Rio.
RIP Gizzy.
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I'm so sorry Tan. Gizzy had to be happy in life, thats whats it for (well most of the time anyway).
Take care.
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Tan, you made the decision that ensured that the life he led was a full and happy one. It was cut short, but maybe Rio needed him more than you. They are together now, playing on the bridge and happy until you can join them. :hug:
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I'm so sorry hun, I really dont know what to say.
Gizzy will be playing with Rio and Ochi now, they'll alll look after each other until you see them again one day.
My heart goes out to you :hug:
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:grouphug:
You had a really difficult decision to make and in the end you took the decision based on Gizzy's happiness - not your own. I am so sorry for you and absolutely devastated that he has gone but you really need to know that it was not your fault. You loved him so much that all you cared about was his happiness, it really is a cruel twist of fate that he was taken. If you truly believe in Rainbow Bridge then you know that he is waiting for you - happy and reunited with Rio, making friends with Ochi and looking down on you.
maybe Rio needed him more than you. They are together now, playing on the bridge and happy until you can join them. :hug:
What a lovely way of thinking about something so terrible.
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RIP GIZZY. Tan we share your pain :( . I hope all our babies are in a safer place.
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So sorry Tan, thinking of you xxxxx
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Oh Tan i cant even imagine how you must be feeling right now......im in floods of tears here this is just not fair :'(
RIP Gizzy baby your bridgebabes are waiting for you :'(
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Oh Tan - I had no idea you'd lost Gizzy too :hug: How awful, so soon after Rio. I can't comprehend what you must be going through but don't blame yourself. Like others have said, you gave him his freedom because it's what he needed. It's always a compromise and it wouldn't have been fair for him to be safe but unhappy. At least he will have Rio to keep him company at Rainbow Bridge - I bet they're having a right old time.
RIP Gizzy :Luv:
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So sorry Tan :hug:
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Tan I had no idea. I am so sorry.
For what it is worth, I agree with so many others that you can never keep a free spirit confined.
:hug:
xChristine
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Tan
There is nothing to say....... just I am so so sorry.
It is so hard to know what to say. I went through it loosing Zak to the road, so I know partically how you feel. but this is just so unfair, so wrong to have 3 taken in the same way, and so dreadfully close.
hang in there Tan - you know we are here for you.
RIP little fella go play hard with your pal Rio & his Bro Ochi, wait on that bridge for your Mummy. Please Say hi to my Beau & Zak.
Take care little man.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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How awful :(
RIP little ones, till you meet again.
:hug:
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I just want to add mine and Jumpy and Tilly's hugs and purrs... :hug: :hug:
You can't keep them in forever if they are free spirits. :'(
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So very very sorry Tan, thinking of you xxx
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so so sorry tan.... :hug:
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There arent any words that can make us feel better when we have lost our babies......... I just wanted to send you a big hug and to let you know I have asked my bootiful Gizmo to look out for your babies and to show them aroound and to make sure they keep sending you rainbows until you get to meet them again
Play hard at the bridge babies until your Mummy comes to get you
Take care :hug:
xxxxxxxx
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So sorry Tan I just don't know what to say R I P Gizzymomo :Luv:
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Really sorry to hear about your loss, :( R.I.P Gizzymomo
Thinking of you :hug:
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:thanks: :hug: Soo much for all your words and support. It has been and still is hard to accept my babes are not coming home. It's easier for me to pretend they are just out and keep busy, concentrate on Purrs, my younglings and hubby. I did the same thing for 4 years when me mum passed on and then it all came out. It really helps with all your support and one day i hope to be able to think of my wonderful lads without trying to block all thoughts of them.
:hug: :thanks: :Luv:
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One day you'll get there.
Took me two or three months to cope with Little Girl and I finally gave in last weekend and cried for my mom. All previous tears had been in anger.
It'll be the quiet moments that are the hardest, when you stop and the memories sneak in. Cuddle your younglings and hubby - it's what they're for.
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So sorry to hear the news and I really feel your pain. I lost my beautiful Biggles in the same way nearly 18mths ago. He was a free spirit like Gizzy and there was no way I could keep him in as he would have been so unhappy. I understand how difficult it is to accept that he won't be coming home again. I have never cried so much in my life and all I can say is let the tears flow. It helped me so much to talk to the counsellor at Blue Cross and they really got me through things. Believe me it does begin to get more bearable. Sending you lots of hugs :hug:
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Tan I'm so sorry, sat here in tears now.
RIP little ones xxx
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So sorry to hear about Gizmo - there is little that I can say to you at a time like this
They say memories are golden, well maybe that is true.
but I never wanted memories, I only wanted you.
A million times I needed you, a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly, in death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place no one could ever fill.
If tears could build a stairway and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven and bring you back again.
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same.
But as we are called one by one, the chain will link again
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So sorry about Gizmo - I lost Binky to RTA and like Gizmo if he had been kept in he would have had a much lower quality of life. Some cats really do need some freedom, even with all the risks that entails. :hug:
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I am so very sorry to read this Tan, but you did what you did for his happiness, he would have had such a poor quality of life otherwise, and that wouldn't have been fair on him. I can't imagine how hard it must be so close after Rio. RIP little one, joining friends up on the Bridge, and do let your mum know that you are happy up there.
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Oh Tan, I've only just caught up with this. Its just so unfair, I'm so sorry. :hug:
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I've been lucky enough not to lose a furbabe to a RTA - I can't imagine how awful it must be :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Oh Tan, I've only just seen this. I am so so sorry but glad that you have been able to tell us. We're all here for you. :hug: :hug: :hug:
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I've only read this. I am very sorry to hear that.
Tan, you did NOT do anything wrong and please, it iurts me to see you blame yourself......
You gave them the best you could and trust me, they are very grateful. They are the luckiest boys! No one could have done better than you, Tan.
I myself am terrible dealing with animals.... When my German Shpepherd died, I found it hard to accept. I pretended he was out in the garden playing and he was out with my family. I also used a kind of travel theory that they are travelling somewhere else and I will join them in the future.
Tan, I wish I had a magic wand to take your pain away. Remember, life is a journey and you will join and meet your boys in the future.
Andrew
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So so sorry to hear about your babes Tan, ive been away from purrs for quite a while due to personal problems and just logged on tonight. Im sure Rio and Gizzy are safe and being looked after by Ochi, love to you and yours
Sonya
xx