Purrs In Our Hearts - Cat Forum UK
Cat Health & Behaviour => Health & Behaviour General => Topic started by: Flame on September 17, 2007, 21:39:49 PM
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Hiya
I have two cats who always scratch and cry at our bedroom door at night and keep us awake and i dont know what i can do to stop them, We have let them into our back bedroom but they still come scratching and yowling at our door. We have a 3 month old baby and they regularly wake him up with it to. We really are not getting a lot of sleep because of this. I have asked my parents if they would take one of the cats but my boyfriend wont let us get rid of the other one and she causes more trouble out of the pair of them. I am going insane and am really starting to get fed up with them but i love them to bits so dont really want to get rid of them. Really dont know what to do.
Please help.
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can you shut them downstairs or are you living all on one level? They just wanna get in a play!!! Mine would go nuts if I shut them out of the bedroom. I do sympathise, particularly if they are waking the baby, but maybe you just need to have more than one door between you and the cats??
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I prefer them not to stay shut downstairs as they will poo or pee and scratch things downstairs and walk all over baby stuff.
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Even if they have a litter tray?? Surely you can keep them confined to the kitchen with a litter tray, food, water and some bedding??
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I dont let them into the kitchen as they walk all over the sides and i think it is unhygenic and also unhygenic to keep the litter tray in there, at the moment there litter tray is in the entrance hall.
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I think I am having a bad night so I am grumpy :-:
I think we need to get to the thrust of this.
Do you like cats?
Do you want the cats?
How old are the cats?
How long have you had the cats?
Do you really want a solution to this problem.
Where did the cats go in the house before the baby arrived?
has this changed?
Do you know cats believe that they come first and when a baby comes along and they get shut out or do not get any attention, they get jealous?
Did this behavior happen before the baby was born?
As I said I am feeling grumpy tonight!
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One simple answer to those questions
No i dont leave my cats out because i have just had a baby and if i didnt want them i would have got rid of them by now.
Useful solutions to this problem please not accusations.
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No accusations there that I can see, just questions and to be able to help we need answers to some of them ;D
When did the scratching at the bedroom door start?
How old are the cats?
How long have you had them?
Are they still going in all the parts of the house that they were before the baby and if not what has changed?
And anything else that may help us tio help you.
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When I had my son albeit a few years ago now, I put a cat net over his cot and aloud the cats access to the bedroom, if the truth be told they peeped in but never went near him,
How are the cats during the day with baby around, why wont you allow them into the room with you, do you think they would bother him
where did they sleep before baby arrived
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The only thing you can do is restrict them to another room. If you don't like the idea of them being in your kitchen what about your bathroom?
You could try a mad half hour of playing with them before you go to bed.
Cats normally learn quite quickly when they are not allowed in a room.
If you're not already doing it, don't allow them ANY access to your bedroom - during the day or at weekend when you're having a lie in. That will only confuse them as they do not have the same appreciation of time as us mere humans.
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Our bathroom isnt really big enough to have the cat tray in unfortunately otherwise i think that would be a really good idea.
My boyfriend plays with them for about half an hour before we go to bed but that doesnt seem to help anymore, it did at first but not now.
The cats are fine with him during the day and the younger one always seems concerned when he is crying and i one time caught her sat on the chair looking down at him meowing at him while he was crying like she was trying to sooth him which i thought was really cute, i dont think they would harm him at all purposfully but i would still rather not risk it at all.
We did used to let them in the bedroom about 3 months before he was born but that was only because of the scratching at the door, but we tried to get them to stop coming in the room for the 3 months before.
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but are they allowed in during the day when you are not in there? If so, then banning them permanently from the bedroom seems like a sensible idea. Also, if the game can be finished about half an hour before bedtime then they will have already settled down for a nap before you go off and leave them. BTW the only reason I am posting at this hour of night is because my cats are going silly playing games and I can not sleep. Otherwise I would be well abed as I have to get up for a 7 am train ...
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No they have never gone onto our room during the day ever.
I would like to be in bed to but we have the baby shouting and the youngest cat is running round like a loon :-: Hope yours calm down soon for you.
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doubt it, I think Smidgen is on a roll!!! He has a toy whcih is essentially a ball trapped in a circular track which he is wrestling from one end of the sitting room to the other. As the floor is timber, you can imagine the noise!!! :rofl: :rofl: He is an abyssinian cross so a completely manic kitty!!
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Hi Flame and :welcome: to Purrs
What were the cats like when you allowed them into the bedroom the 3 mths before? Did they settle when they were allowed in and were happy? If so it may well be that they are jealous of your little lad and trying g to get back into the room again.
There is a good article on Cats that are showing signs of being jealousy with a new baby on Messeybeast here http://www.messybeast.com/cat_baby.htm
but i think the site is down at the mo.
From what i have read from cat behaviour books, the thing to do is try very very hard to ignore them, even a look or a shout will signal to them that the scratching gets a reaction from you and will learn to continue doing it. You have to be totally quiet and show nothing. Also their needs to be a comfy place for them to want to settle down in with all their needs elsewhere, have you tried a radiator beds in another room, somewhere temping they want to go. That and ignoring them works after a while and they learn that the attention seeking just doesn't work anymore.
In the books i have read on this by cat behaviourists, they say the attention seeking can get worse before it gets better, one cat who used to scratch at door and keep the humans up all night, went to jumping on the kitchen units and knocked a item over to make a loud noise. That def had the effect he wanted by the humans running downstairs to him. Crafty cat!! These people did solve the sleepiness nights by making sure their was nothing the cat could push over in the kitchen and persevered over a number of night ignoring the door scratching. They did provide in an alternative a snuggly hide away new bed in another room where the cat loved to sleep.
I hope this may help
Let us know how you get on :Luv:
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I would like to know much more about the cats and where they are allowed to go, their ages and how long they have been with you.
Right now I cant form any picture of what their life is like and whether anything has changed apart from the baby.
You say you used to play with them before bed but not now?
Where do they sleep, or where are their beds? Do they go outside, have a catflap or atre they house cats?
And what are the cats names, hate just talking about cats.
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They still scratched to get in but not quite so much and it was easier to ignore them because we werent getting woken up in between there scratching. We try our best to ignore it now but they just get worse and louder then wake up the baby which then makes the younger cat meow even more. But ignoring them doesnt seem to work.
When they came in they used to wake us up by climbing on to the window frame when the windows were open or chase each other about but a lot of the time one or the other used to get into our bed.
They have a whole bed to themselves in the back room and we gave them a duvet that they slept on and left us alone for a few days but they soon started doing it again.
Thanks for your advice and i will have a look at the link you sent.
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I would like to know much more about the cats and where they are allowed to go, their ages and how long they have been with you.
Right now I cant form any picture of what their life is like and whether anything has changed apart from the baby.
You say you used to play with them before bed but not now?
Where do they sleep, or where are their beds? Do they go outside, have a catflap or atre they house cats?
And what are the cats names, hate just talking about cats.
Sorry i did reply to your questions but it didnt post the reply for some reason. I think it was something to do with people posting replies or something :S
One of the cats goes out the other doesnt very often as she wonders off and everytime she has been out something odd has happened to her. My boyfriend plays with them before bed and during the day.
They sleep or supposed to sleep in our back bedroom, they have a double bed and alsorts of differant stuff to sleep on.
They are called Freya and Talon, i would try and rewrite what i replied to your questions but it would take a couple of hours as i am having to type one handed at the mo.
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No accusations there that I can see, just questions and to be able to help we need answers to some of them ;D
When did the scratching at the bedroom door start?
How old are the cats?
How long have you had them?
Are they still going in all the parts of the house that they were before the baby and if not what has changed?
And anything else that may help us tio help you.
They have always scratched at the door
They are 2 and 6, the 2 year old we have had 2 years in november and the 6 year old was born on my bed, his mum now lives at my parents as she has cancer and it is calmer there as the 2 year old used to terrorise her a lot, she's a mental bengal.
They all go exactly where they used to go before but with the added bonus of the back bedroom.
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Ahhhh yes sometimes the posts dont post when someone else is posting and if it doent post....takes loads of time, press back arrow and try and post again, alternatively you copy the book you wrote and get out of where you are and then reply again pasting back your book!
If you press refresh you lose the whole lot.......................groan.
Sounds like with a bed of their own and lots of toys and stuff they got it made in their own room, do they have tray in their too?
My thought is that they are jealous of the new 'cat' cos the time you used to spend with them isnt happening any more and they know you sleep behind that closed door at night and they really want some of your time.
So the question is how can you give them a bit of time and attention that they used to have so they feel that you love em still.
How old are Freya and Talon, lovely names ;D
One of my worries is that if they are wanting some of your attention so bad, this will cause further problems if they dont feel you love em anymore because they may go to more extreme forms of attention seeking, like spraying.
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I replied to your other questions to about there age etc.
They dont have a tray in there but the door is open so they can pop downstairs for the loo and a munch.
I think they are jealous to a degree but they still get plenty of attention, especially from my boyfriend, if i dont have the baby on my knee then Freya will come and sit on my knee and sometimes she does at the same time as he is on my knee to, yet she is the one that causes the most trouble.
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Sounds like she is just jealous but hopefully if she gets some more attention from you it will wear off. She sounds like she has formed a very close bond with you before the baby was born and she just wants to be loved cos she thinks that the baby has taken her place..
I have two birmans who sleep in my bedroom, they were previously living in someones garage and they crave attention. One now sleeeps on my bed all the time and the other one does during the day and at night till his brother gets on there. Franta cries for attention from about mid-afternoon but I have 4 cats and of course other thngs to do also.
Some cats just crave attention and cuddling and dont like it rationed or in shares, like Franta and Ducha Wells or your Freya.
They have always scratched at the door
They are 2 and 6, the 2 year old we have had 2 years in november and the 6 year old was born on my bed, his mum now lives at my parents as she has cancer and it is calmer there as the 2 year old used to terrorise her a lot, she's a mental bengal.
They all go exactly where they used to go before but with the added bonus of the back bedroom.
The above post wasnt there when I replied .......sigh.
So is Freya the 2yr old Bengal?
We have a bengal expert on here and she now has 11 of them :rofl:
Soooooooooo I will shout BENGALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL and maybe Linda will see this and be able to help you ;D
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Crikey!!! 11!! is she mad!! 1 Bengal is mental enough for me, she gorgeous but a complete headcase but so loving with it.
Yes Freya is the bengal.
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Hi Flame, I know hygene can be a concern, but My two had the run of the House!!. litter tray in kitchen, sleeping on my bed/pillow ;D
even drinking out of the lavie bowl :evillaugh: Yes they did walk on the worktops, but as long as there was no food being prepaired it was
not a problem, worktops were cleaned prior to food preparation ( but you do that anyway furbabe's or no !! )
in all these years they slept where they wanted, went where they wanted , as clean as cats are, I never got sick!!
not letting them into your bedroom?? there were maybe a couple of times I accidentaly shut the door on my two, and they would meow
and scratch till I let them in!! once in they would settle down at the bottom of the bed and go to sleep (occasionally Hamish would wake
me up in the early hours for some food) but that was never a problem.. they were my babies !!
Jealous of your new Baby ,,,,?? out of my area of expertise
If you are not willing to be more Flexible with your Furbabes!! the only suggestion I can make is to get a hold of some
EarPlugs :rofl: :rofl:
Misty n Stuart
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I don' t have a choice as to where mine go in the house thanks to a very stubborn but clever cat who learnt how to open closed doors.
Not that it bothers me where they are as it's their house too :) The only thing that bothers me is when they all decide its time to get mum up, so Harley opens the door for the other two, and they all have a game of 'catch' and 'lets go loopy running over mum' at 5 in the morning when I'm fast asleep >:( The game then turns to 'try and trip her up down the stairs' and finally the last game of the morning is their favorite and the one they all have off to a T,
Explained in cat rules :sneaky:
- Its a game of team work, the aim of the game is to get caught by mums ballet dancing feet.......... this insures breakfast being served earlier than usual due to the fact Mum is feeling guilty. So all three of you must position yourselves near to where mum is making tea half asleep. Then when mum turns to walk to the fridge, one must dash quickly under mums feet, if she doesn't accidentally catch you then its the others turn. They then wait until mum is walking back from the fridge for their attempt. If you get caught you then must stand their with your big wide eyes making mum feel guilty as she's fussing you apologising. This doesn't work with just this though, one of the others must draw mums attention to the food bowls while she's fussing you by jumping up on the side, meowing at the top of your voice whilst nudging the bowls with your head.
If (and it has been known) the morning early breakfast game doesn't work, (usually when mum is more awake then normal, or her eye, feet coordination outwits your feline stealth) then you have no other choice but for all three of you to sit near where mum is waking up with her cup of tea, meowing loudly whilst head butting her ankles, until she gives in and offers breakfast for a chance of 5 minutes peace and quiet. :tired:
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:welcome: Flame.
Since I got Lexy I have become acustomed to sleepless nights. It's just something we all get used to. But the key is training. Ignore them, I know its hard but you need to do that, otherwise you will just never sleep ever ever ever again... :tired:
The link Tan sent is really valuable and it makes perfect sense.
We don't believe in the "get rid" mentality either (sorry, just dislike that term so much) so am really pleased that you joined us to get advice. And the great thing is that you have some fabulous people on here who can help you through this.
Personally? I'd just get another bengal... :evillaugh:
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Sleep, Whats that ??? Our 2 Bengal babies are convinced that night time is play time and when they start the others join in, sounds like a herd of elephants running around, they normally settle down by about 2am. What really gets me is that when Im getting ready for work half asleep they are all curled up fast asleep as if butter wouldnt melt :rofl:. I love them all to bits and wouldnt change them for the world.
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I suppose I am just lucky with my two :shy:
They could be playing madly one minute, but as soon as the lights go out and the blinds are drawn, perfect silence. Dont really hear a peep out of them until about half an hour before the alarm goes off, which involves Mango walking on your stomach and playing in her tent (next to the bed)
Is this normal???? ;D
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My cats, well 5 of them sleep in my bedroom overnight....I was unwell a short while back and had to keep them all locked out of the room overnight as not to pull my tubes out....they cried and scraped at the door so i let them in and laid on the floor so my tubes were'nt dangling over the bed for them to play with.... :Crazy:
My daughter has just given birth (1 week old today :wow:) and we often say about cats near babies....i know cats slept on babies chest to get the heat from the neck area....nowadays we have central heating, double glazing so our houses dont get as cold as they used to....if you are worried though maybe a cat net over the cot may relax you more ;)
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I've come to the conclusion that having a cat means lack of sleep, as Max wakes up every morning between 4-5 and decides to have a mad 10 minutes ..... no idea why, he can be snuggled up next to me, then like clockwork .... ping, I'm awake, wanna play etc etc :evillaugh:
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having 8 cats means you never sleep again >:( honest i am a walking zombie lol
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Lirael wakes me up at 6am every morning so I can play Chase the Lirael and then bring her to bed – she goes to sleep immediately unless one of the other cats decides to start playing.
I get roughly 4 to 6 hours of sleep per day but they’re worth it.
If I locked them all out I know they’d dig up the carpet, claw the door and make a general ruckus.
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our bengal is banned from the bedroom at night, she gets too lively at about 4am!
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Mosi's never really caught on with this sleeping at night lark. I've been a zombie for the past year and a half. He's getting better and will settle down nicely at bedtime now, but he can only manage about 5 hours max before he's jumping up and down on top of me, or bashing the window blinds and whining. Sometimes he settles down again, but by that time Jaffa's been woken up and decided perhaps it's morning after all. It is an improvement on how he used to be so fingers crossed darker mornings won't wake him up quite so early this winter.
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My birmans are night cats and if I tried to shut them out of the bedroom alll hell would break loose,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,wouldnt it T :rofl: :rofl:
As soon as I switch the light out they are off, where........not a clue, but sometime during the night I get a wet nose and ahead pushing me and have noticed that Franta uses me and the bed as a walkway to where he wants to go, so plod plod plod across me!
I woke up this morning and there were two bodies on the bed, one leaning against me as usual and the other sharing the pillow ;D
The two big cats sleep downstairs but all 4 go where they want all over the house and outside, except they are not allowed in my studio. The birmans will sit and howl outside and if Misa happens to be upstairs and I have not shut the door properly he will just push it open and enter..................sigh
Closed doors are so interesting to cats and once they are open the otherside is nowhere near as interesting. well unless there is a bed with a human in :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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Amber is a snuggler, she sleeps between our pillows, oh loves her so much, its very sweet! Studio? are you arty?
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Well its my spare bedroom really and I try to be arty but just learning ;D
Classes start again next week and I would love to get out the oils again but fur and oils just dont mix :rofl: :rofl:
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Classes start again next week and I would love to get out the oils again but fur and oils just dont mix :rofl: :rofl:
:evillaugh: :evillaugh: (pastels arent much better, although Ben is a bluepoint, he looked more like a turquoise point the other day LOL!)
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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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you see, I never previously had a problem with this. All my other cats have been perfectly happy to go to bed at the same time as me, and get up at the same time. In Summer they might wake a little earlier (until I discovered blackout curtains) in winter they may choose to stay in bed until I am ready to go to work when they emerge to say goodbye and where are our supplies to keep us going when you are away.
Smidgen, on the other hand seems to have taken a leaf from Shadow's book and consider the night to be the time of maximum activity. Shadow never used to be this way, but since discovering a bay window that looks down over the street (I am on the high side) he has been more than a little keen to ensure that no intruders get within 300 yards of the place lol
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you see, I never previously had a problem with this. All my other cats have been perfectly happy to go to bed at the same time as me, and get up at the same time. In Summer they might wake a little earlier (until I discovered blackout curtains) in winter they may choose to stay in bed until I am ready to go to work when they emerge to say goodbye and where are our supplies to keep us going when you are away.
Smidgen, on the other hand seems to have taken a leaf from Shadow's book and consider the night to be the time of maximum activity. Shadow never used to be this way, but since discovering a bay window that looks down over the street (I am on the high side) he has been more than a little keen to ensure that no intruders get within 300 yards of the place lol
Well that is his job and a dogs job is 24 hrs you know :) (so Cuddles and Cymro say)
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thanks gwen. There are occasions when I wish the programming was not so deeply imbedded in his DNA... Still, the night I accidentally left the keys in the door he kept on guarding despite me issuing death threats. And boy, am I glad he did....
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I miss all our mob 4 nights week in Dublin sleeping on my own somehow miss the 11 that sleep with us!!! That is on the bed with us they all have their own spots and we just about have room in a super kingsize bed!
Robin says he has no more room than when I am at home! I have to say that the longer you have them the less you notice the lack of sleep you are just that tired that you fall asleep!
We have the ones who try and get us up at 05.45am at the weekends by moving the blinds to let the light in and then there's the headwalkers and finally the house cats moving back up stairs to start their routine but now we are getring a longlie to 08.30am at weekends as we have the blind velcroed at the bottom!
The dogs sleep downstairs in the lounge - Jazz starts in her own bed or Sky's and then moves on to the couch with the cats and Sky the puppy sleeps in his crate and has 2 cats asleep on top for good measure!
Our house is really the cats house as they spend more time in it than we do and the cat room even has an electric blanket on in the winter for them!
So we just live with them but I have an ally in my Swseetie she only sleeps upstairs when I am at home after 15 years of devotion and love that lady has no idea she is a cat and can do as she pleases afterall she allowed us to get the other 35 cats and now puppy Sky whose nose is her current favourite target for no reason he will learn she doesn't need a resaon as she is our Princess and can do no wrong! :Luv:
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I miss all our mob 4 nights week in Dublin sleeping on my own somehow miss the 11 that sleep with us!!! That is on the bed with us they all have their own spots and we just about have room in a super kingsize bed!
I would so love that, though my husband would get upset ;)
I bet you're always warm!
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my siggie pic shows our bed before we get in it!
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Normally have one or two in the bed before we come in the room and then Lirael decides to clean (I swear Smoke is going to be bald due to the sheer force of cleaning) Smoke and they run off for a while.
Then slowly they come back to bed and normally one lays on top of us and the other between us, and heaven forbid you move :)
My husband hasn't learned that you can move them and don't have to sleep funny because you're scared of rolling on top of a cat - he keeps wondering where those scratch marks come from.
I admit sleeping away from home is just so strange, no cats, no getting up due to cats... it's too quiet since nothing gets knocked over. Husband even complained last time we were away... he's hooked though he'll never admit it.
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Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr scratch marks, yes I wake up with those too :rofl: :rofl:
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(OUCH!) Im covered in them >:(
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr scratch marks, yes I wake up with those too :rofl: :rofl:
Oops thought you said "stretch marks" :evillaugh:
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The only kittie allowed in my bedroom during the night is Imogen; a couple of nights ago I nearly suffocated myself trying not to laugh....Imogen thought I was obviously lonely as she was so far away at the bottom of the bed - she comes wandering up and starts purring in my face - gets no response and so settles down on my pillow - her right back paw was in my right eye and her left front paw was gently 'kneading' my mouth while she was sort of nestled over my head like some sort of Davey Crockett hat!
Still, she seemed comfy - didn't like to disturb her.....
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Its when their whiskers tickle :rofl: :rofl:
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Ooh yes tickly whiskers are exruciating :evillaugh: Even worse when one goes up your nose and sets you off sneezing, by which time furry companion has dived off the bed in a huff :rofl:
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ahhh all the joys I have to come !!! (& I cant wait!!)
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Ging has a habit of waking me up by thinking my ears are dirty and cleaning them :innocent:
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Max has been known to lick my eyelids and eyebrows for some reason :rofl:
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Archie sleeps in the bedroom but has decided that my face needs a good nudge about 6.30 every morning. He then lies by by head and expects a good stomach rub before I get up to give him some prawns! ;)