Purrs In Our Hearts - Cat Forum UK
Cat General => General Cat Chat => Topic started by: Kay and Penny on May 24, 2009, 15:59:09 PM
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He's arrived, and I am already discounting almost everything I was told about him - he is a scrap of a thing, absolutely petrified of everything, and needs to be left alone as much as possible to integrate at his own pace - my two at least have already decided he is no threat to them, so I needn't worry to much about them
problem is he is outside in the enclosure, huddled into a corner, and very slowly, I hope, realising no-one is going to bother him there - and I have put out a Mr Snugs kennel with nice bedding for him - because I can see it is going to be a while before he feels brave enough to come indoors
but he may be too timid even to go into the kennel, so what do I do? do I traumatise him by grabbing him and forcing him to spend the night in the house, or is it now warm enough for him to be OK through the night outside, even if he won't go into the kennel? :( :(
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The advice I always give to new adopters when they take a cat is to put them in one room (spare room away from everyone) with food, water, bed and litter and leave well alone. They will tell you when they want to come out- for some it's day one for some it's 4 weeks down the line but as long as they have what they need, they are fine out of harm's way. Do you have a spare room you could set up? I know you're keen to use the outside area but it all sunds like too much too soon so give him a chance to adjust and then let him use it when he's ready.
Cats claim their territory slowly, getting wider as they go so starting off in a small area is best.
Once in the spare room leave him totally alone tonight and then each subsequent day, spend more and more time with him. If he is timid, just going in the room and sitting on the floor is best. He will come to you when he's ready. Just don't be tempted to carry him around the whole house.
Even the most confident cats can appear timid in those first few days so give him time and lots of it. I honestly think setting him up in the spare room and leaving him to it for a few days is the best thing for him. I am not confident that it's warm enough for him to be outside.
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If i remember right you mentioned he was badly abused before being rescue :(
From my experience i think you should just leave him where he is, just put some water and food nearby and go and check him time to time and talk to him softly. Maybe tomorrow go and sit on the floor close to him and see if he comes to you. I don't think you should force him to do anything right now he must be really scared poor little guy. :hug: If you have feliway spray some on his bedding or plug one nearby.
It took my Phoebe over 6 months to leave the bedroom and come down stairs to me and Boy.
He needs to feel safe and that takes time, do you know much about his back ground?
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I haven't got a spare room though - I could keep him in my bedroom, but I think he is more scared of me than Trigger and Tiffany - so shutting him in there with me would not help
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He needs a quiet 'safe area' which he can choose to stay in or come out of. You may find that he uses it for a few weeks until he feels relaxed. Have a think to see if you have anywhere in the house where people don't go that much (dining room? you could always eat off of your laps for a few weeks) but it needs to be somewhere he's away from people and the other cats as he'll be scared of both til he can trust them. Feliway is an essential in my opinion too. I prefer the diffuser which I always plug in for a new cat or at times of stress but the spray is handy cause you can spray it in appropriate places. If you think the outside run may be best, just make sure he has plenty of shelter as we can't guarantee good weather for the weeks ahead. Perhaps a tarpauline over the top and sides as a temporary measure? Just a suggestion.
Don't worry, although it may a few weeks before you really get to know each other, he will come round eventually. :hug:
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he's been perched on a shelf in the enclosure for 4 hours now :(- but it has been excellent from the point of view of the other two cats, as they have wandered around without bothering him
I shall have to hope he goes into the kennel if he gets cold, as he will not, I am sure, use the cat flap - he may actually enjoy wandering about out there after dark, with no-one to bother him - the kenne is completely waterproof, and no rain is forecast now until Wednesday - hopefully he will be ready to come indoors by then
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He really needs you, that little fella, doesn't he? :(
:hug: to him...
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If i remember right you mentioned he was badly abused before being rescue :(
From my experience i think you should just leave him where he is, just put some water and food nearby and go and check him time to time and talk to him softly. Maybe tomorrow go and sit on the floor close to him and see if he comes to you. I don't think you should force him to do anything right now he must be really scared poor little guy. :hug: If you have feliway spray some on his bedding or plug one nearby.
It took my Phoebe over 6 months to leave the bedroom and come down stairs to me and Boy.
He needs to feel safe and that takes time, do you know much about his back ground?
I agree with Pav just allowing him to come round in his own time, he'll just be unsure poor love, easy does it and I'm sure he'll be ok. I would think the the kennel will be fine too :hug: I've just put lovely clean bedding in my feral's kennel today :)
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I shall have to hope he goes into the kennel if he gets cold, as he will not, I am sure, use the cat flap - he may actually enjoy wandering about out there after dark, with no-one to bother him - the kenne is completely waterproof, and no rain is forecast now until Wednesday - hopefully he will be ready to come indoors by then
I'm sure he'll be fine in the enclosure, cats are pretty sensible and he'll use the kennel if he really needs to. I'd just leave him, like others have said, he needs to do things in his own time, especially given his background. :hug:
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I would bring him in and use the one room like Debs suggested, it takes nervous cats twice as long to adapt if they have too much space in one go. It was tosker who was getting over an infection? If so then outdoors isnt the place for him to be, the stress of rehoming often brings out any harbouring illnesses and he could have a flare up if not totally shifted.
Keeping him away from the other 2 isnt a bad idea also just incase it was a contagious infection,i wouldnt trust the word of someone who didnt require to meet me :shy:
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he's found his way into the kennel, so immediate panic over
it's pretty obvious to me that he was not really socialised at all, but simply too terrified to resist being picked up and cuddled - when the rescue lady did this here I could see he was petrified of her - so I am not going down that route until he is ready
he's had a long-lasting antibiotic apparently, but I can't hear any wheezing myself and his nose and eyes are perfectly clear - perhaps he was just breathing very noisily out of fear
I am sure she meant well, but to be honest I think I have rescued him from the rescue
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awwww :)
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Tosker's gonna have a brill home with you - it's just going to take a lot more time and patience than you thought by the sound of it. You'll be fine. Take it a day at a time is what I suggest.
As for picking him up, I had Smudge 14 years and he hated to be picked up and would struggle like mad and scratch the hell out of me and yet he would slppe on the pillow next to me every night. Bonnie hates being picked up too but she lays all over me.
Cats are like us in one way only - WE/THEY ARE ALL DIFFFERENT.
Good luck and well done. :hug:
Mary
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Poor little man :( sounds as tho hes really had a tough time in the past, but im sure with kindness and patience he will come round, when we have nervous cats in at the rescue i just tend to sit and talk to them without touching and usually find that they soon come round once they have relaxed and realised im no threat.Just take it one day at a time , he will let you know when its time, :hug:
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So pleased he has found his way into the kennel and he did it all by himself which is great.
he will know where he feels comfortable so as long as he is warm and dry he should be fine.
Its all a matter of him learning that he has nothing to be afraid off and feeling safe................from one who has had Sasa over 3 years and cant touch her :shify: :shify:
So now its when will he eat and stuff, I am sure he is going to be fine .....in his own time :hug: :hug:
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thanks everyone for your encouragement - I hate to see a cat frozen with fear like he is, but once he realizes I shall not be grabbing him for 'kissses' every five minutes I think he will relax and start feeling a bit more in control
poor Tiffany is now hissing at Trigger, as she now has two grey male cats to contend with, and can't tell one from the other at a distance - as neither is more than half her size she really has nothing to fear though :rofl:
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How is Tosker today?
:hug: :hug:
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Hey Hun, not your fault. you have done your best and are continuing to do so by leaving out food etc. You never know, he may suprise you, but at least he won't be fathering any more local ferals. Shame people weren't more honest with you before you adopted him. Shame on them!
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I must explain that during his first night with me Tosker managed to escape from my catproof ( >:() enclosure - I did post about it at the time, but deleted the post when I suddenly thought the lady I rehomed him from might decide to come looking for him, as I think her insistence on grabbing him and cuddling him has greatly contributed to his extreme wariness of people (though of course she meant well)
Tosker took up residence in my neighbour's garage and came into my garden for food each night - today he was found in my neighbour's fox trap, although it was not intended for him, so now he is back with me, currently perched on top of the kitchen units - I have tried to reinforce the enclosure fence but as I don't know how he got out in the first place I can only hope he does not do it again - I am not hopeful :(
I shall leave him be as much as possible, meanwhile, although I have not tried to seperate him from my cats, as he seems to want to be with them - he is not the slightest bit agressive towards them
cross fingers for me that this time he stays put - and finds out that actually it's quite nice here
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All fingers crossed and sending lots of positve happy vibes that Tosker realises hes now safe , :hug:
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Everything crossed for you. Just give him some 'space' and let him learn that he is in a good place.
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Sorry to post again, but have you tried Feliway diffusers? I have found them helpful, if expensive, in the past.
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Poor boy, hope he can settle down in time :care:
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I shall try a Feliway diffuser if he continues to be very timid - it seems to be humans who frighten him most, so I shall not make any attempt to go any nearer him than I have to
if he doesn't manage to escape again I think - hope - time and patience will work their usual miracle without chemical help
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now wheres that smilie...................... :crossed: and hope he will be fine :hug:
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Fingers crossed all goes to plan this time.... ;)
My ex feral is the same way as Tosker, he is afraid of humans and gets on ok with the cats....To gain his trust I sat near him everyday and totally ignored him, then gradually (and this is over months) he slowly came round to me and now can tolerate my presence! ;D
Good Luck Trigger.... :Luv: :hug:
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cleared the 6 foot fence again overnight - so that is that - I can't increase the height without planning permission, so if he wants to come in he will have to climb it the other way, which would be easy for him - he won't though - humans and confinement just aren't his thing :'(
I'll go on putting food out, and my neighbour doesn't mind him being in his garage, which is never closed - if he stays away from the road he will be OK
shame though - I would so like to make him understand that warmth and cuddles are actually nice :'(
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How long ago was he neutered? It could be that his hormones haven't fully settled yet, and he might change soon, especially when winter starts coming close, as long as he keeps getting fed in your neighbours garden.
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Aw that's such a shame, but as we all know - we can't make cats do anything they don't want to.
Mary :hug:
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That's one determined kitty! :Crazy:
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How long ago was he neutered? It could be that his hormones haven't fully settled yet, and he might change soon, especially when winter starts coming close, as long as he keeps getting fed in your neighbours garden.
he was neutered about 6 weeks ago now - but he is 100% timid, and not the least sign of any agression
he has been fed just outside my enclosure, and once even came in when I opened the gate, and into the kitchen, looking for more food, but the slightest move by me and he flees - if I give up all thought of confining him like Trigger and Tiffany, who since they were kittens, (they are 8 and 6 now), have never made any attempt to escape, and just work on getting him to come inside to feed, he may stay in when winter comes
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I dont thoink he will stay inside at any time but may visit and stay a bit longer and as long as he has a way in will gradually visit more often. Come on Tosker show you like visiting :hug:
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I shall try a Feliway diffuser if he continues to be very timid
Might be an idea to get Felifriend - you spray this on your hands and signals to cats that you are friendly ;) (if you ever get a chance to get near enough to him). I'm sure he'll be back :hug:
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If you cant heighten the fences could you get away with putting up wire similar to rozs system? If so then work on trapping him again and keep in the house whilst its being sorted. 6ft is nothing for a healthy cat but angled netting/wire does stop them.
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it is angled, MM, but at right angles - he can't climb out, but can obviously leap 6 foot on to the overhang
I don't know if I want to keep a cat confined in a small space if it really wants out - my two don't try to get out because they are content with their lot - I will work towards trying to coax him to at least come and go as he chooses - and if he won't join us I can at least make him a nice warm cutch in my neighbour's garage for the winter
if his condition deteriorates I will try to trap him again and see if I can find him a home on one of the many smallholdings around here - but I think he might do very well going on as he is, at least for now
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second opinions please - Tosker still comes every night for food, and will come into the kitchen for it, as long as I leave the gate of the enclosure open and keep my distance
he eats three pouches and around 25gms dry at one sitting, and still sometimes hangs round outside the gate for an hour or more - could he eat all that and still be wanting more? he looks really well, certainly not thin, but he is not a big cat
I never see him during the day, and as far as I know he does not use the kennel I have set up for him in a cutch underneath the coal bunker
could he be hanging around because he is beginning to feel he belongs? or is the only attraction the food?
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Tosker still comes every night for food, and will come into the kitchen for it, as long as I leave the
could he be hanging around because he is beginning to feel he belongs? or is the only attraction the food?
A bit of both I expect. Glad he's back :hug:
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I agree a bit of both....patience patience ;D
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I agree a bit of both....patience patience ;D
Ditto :)
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patience is paying off - as I type Tosker is in one of the kennels I keep in the enclosure, has found out how to get into and out of the enclosure, and in and out of the cat flap - and even when he takes off he does not go out of my garden
mind you, he is costing me an arm and leg in food, and still thinks I, and probably all other humans, are :censored:
so no cuddles, but a lot less to worry about ;D
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Tosker is doing wonderfully well and patience is the key ;D
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Tosker is doing wonderfully well and patience is the key ;D
I agree totally! Really Trigger this is actually leaps and bounds and he is doing marvelous! Well done you! :Luv: :hug:
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Thats good he has worked things out, im sure when the weather turns (yet again) he will be encouraged closer to you
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Aw really chuffed for you :hug: :hug:
Mary
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third night in a row he's come in and gone into the kennel
time for a piccie
(http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj298/plasbach36/cats029-1.jpg)
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Aw bless his little heart. :Luv2: :Luv2:
Mary
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awww look at him peeping :Luv:
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Sounds like a pattern ;D
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Yay! Love the pic! :Luv:
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Sounding and looking good :Luv2:
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Tosker spent his first night indoors - on a duvet in the kitchen ;D
he wouldn't go in his kennel because I'd washed his cushion, so the duvet was a last resort when he was still sitting outside at midnight - took him 10 minutes to curl up on it and he was still there this morning :good morning 3:
the duvet is now in one of those large litter trays with the high back, the same arrangement as used by Tiffany for the 3 years she spent sleeping in a porch
it's 12 weeks to the day since he arrived here
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Glad you are making some progress. He clearly does like it at your house, or he wouldnt keep coming back
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I cant see the picture :(, it says the image has been moved or deleted ?
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Photobucket may be having probs? :sneaky:
That's fantastic news Trigger, you must be delighted and this will be a big weight off your mind come winter! ;D
Just keep the knowledge that Feral cats are just the same as domestic cats.... Its just their fear of people that makes them different! ;) :hug:
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this is the latest I took of him
(http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj298/plasbach36/cats033.jpg)
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He is certainly looking very relaxed there, enjoying some sun! :Luv2:
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awwww!
He looks more relaxed than my Saffron ever did in 6 years!
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He sounds like he's getting a cheeky little *ugger now -having youmake him a bed in the kitchen :rofl: :Luv2:
Mary
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and that bed is now stopping me from cooking and cleaning - such a nuisance ;)
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Oh what a shame - think I might make Bonnie a bed in the kitchen too :rofl: :rofl:
Mary
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;D great photo! :Luv:
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Tosker looks a right cheeky one in that picture but it sounds that he really has his paws in the kitchen now ;D
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What a relaxed and happy fella he looks in that picture. Well done Trigger :hug:
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another update - Tosker has now decided the kennel outside is no longer good enough for him, and has decided to join us in the lounge
Tiffany and Trigger are not at all pleased with this latest development, but I am ;D
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Oh Trigger hun you must be made up! What fantastic progress! :Luv: :hug:
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Taking your bed over is the next step :evillaugh: :Luv2:
Mary
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Well done Tosker ;D
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I understand he has taken over the bed now :rofl:
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that little grey shadow who I only saw from a distance for 10 minutes at night is now esconced in the front room and seems to have lost all interest in the great outdoors
this desire to stay in seems to have coincided with my relighting of the multi-fuel stove ;)
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:rofl: :rofl:
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Dont you find it difficult though as I know what I was like with Blackie, sneaking a peak without him knowing.... We now slow blink back at each other! :Luv2:
I bet he will end up more inside than the others! :evillaugh: :hug:
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Forgot to say we need evidence of him being inside :shify: :shify:
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here you go then, just taken
(http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj298/plasbach36/cats037.jpg)
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Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ;D
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My goodness.... He looks so relaxed! :wow:
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He looks so relaxed, unbelievable! As you know, i've only just read your story about Toska-i think what you've done with him is more than amazing, and, when i find MY GB, i will be suggesting your way to his new mommy and daddy!
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most of the credit for Tosker's progress is down to Gill, who gave me a great deal of very good advice
:thanks: Gill (and Sasa for giving her the experience to pass on ;))
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Aaaw bless - he really does look at home. :Luv2: :hug:
Mary
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Thank you trigger but it was you who actually
worked let him do his own thing slowly slowly ;D
He does look gorgeous and hopefully he will be eating out of your hand soon ;D
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he's beginning to take over - I had all three on the bed with me this morning :scared:
(http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj298/plasbach36/cats039.jpg)
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awww :Luv: :Luv2:
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my goodness all 3 and you, can you touch him or will he sniff your hand?
he goes great with the colour scheme and looks in good condition ;D
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he still doesn't want to be touched, though I try occasionally to get him used to the idea that it's nothing to be frightened of - he backs off but doesn't run away
he isn't frightened of me in any other way
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he goes great with the colour scheme
Yes, very teaming, very co-ordinated :evillaugh:
Seriously, he's getting there, isn't he?
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Wow! That gorgeous boy is definitely forgetting his wild ways! :Luv2:
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for all those who love a happy ending......................
I have today officially bestowed the title of 'Complete Love Bucket' on the little grey cat I once thought I would never be able to touch
and now he is accepting and returning lots of cuddles with me, he is not so intent on stalking the other two, so they are happier too
case closed :oolala:
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:yesss: :yesss:
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Fantastic news Trigger....I am so happy this has worked out for you all! :Luv2: :hug: :hug:
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;D fab news
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Good work, Trigger ;D
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Fantastic news.
:catplay2: :catlove2: :catplay2: :catlove2: :yayyy: :yayyy: :yayyy: :yayyy: :ahh: :ahh: :catlove: :ahh:
Well done.
Mary
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So glad to hear this