Purrs In Our Hearts - Cat Forum UK
In Loving Memory Cats => Rainbow Bridge - In Loving Memory => Topic started by: Nicola (RockysMum) on April 14, 2009, 16:12:29 PM
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Hi All,
My little cat Rocky died on 4th April and I'm finding it really hard. He was only nine years old and it was very sudden. He took very ill on the Friday evening and was staggering and really weak despite having been absolutely fine up until then. I took him to an emergency vet and she said his kidneys weren't functioning correctly and put him on a drip.
he was on the drip for 48 hours and i visited him 2-3 times a day over the two days. the drip meant he ws feeling fine and every time i went to see him he was purring and rolling around the table like he hadn't a care in the world. Apparently he had charmed all of the staff in the vets because he was so friendly and full of energy. Tragically, on the sunday night when they tested his bloods, his kidneys hadn't improved. the only thing keeping him alive was the drip. So, i had to have him put to sleep.
it was so hard to see him looking perfectly happy and healthy when i had to let him go. i actually climbed onto the vets table so he could curl up on my lap. he was perfectly content and was purring right to the end.
I still can't believe it. I keep bursting into tears. I went through a lot with him in the past as he once went missing for 4 days but managed to crawl home to me with 2 broken hips and a fractured pelvis. the vet was reluctant to give me any hope after that but he got through 2 major surgeries to repair his legs and i nursed him back to health. he was his happy crazy self the whole time and it was a nightmare getting him to rest his broken hips! then he was shot by someone with an air rifle and had to have the pellet removed. Again, he came through with flying colours.
I think after all that i thought he was invincible.
I'm just really struggling to cope. he was an incredible little guy and he followed me everywhere - even the bath! We were devoted to each other. I have 2 other cats but because of all i went through with him we had a special bond. I miss him terribly. I am so miserable, does it get any easier?
Nic x
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Hi Rockysmum :) nice to meet you. I am so sorry for you and what you must be going through right now but you have come to the right place you will get lots of support here :hug: I lost my dear boy Schui a month ago (he is in the Rainbow Bridge section) and I cry for him as we had a very close bond because he needed a fair bit of care and I think it makes things specially hard. If you are taking it especially hard there are pet bereavement counsellors you can talk to, I'm not sure of the contact off hand but they are out there. Do come to chat on here any time and talk about little Rocky :hug:
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I am so sorry to welcome you to Purrs in such sad circumstances, Nic. As Janey says, so many people on here know what you are going through :hug:
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Hi RockysMum, and as Christine has already said, its such a shame that you find us under such sad circumstances :hug:
There is plenty of support on here, if you want to cry, need a hug, or just want to talk, you know where we are :hug: xxx
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Sorry to hear of your struggle....on here you will be among friends who totally understand what sadness you feel! :hug: :hug: :hug:
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I am so sorry at your loss hunnie, you have definately come to the right place :hug:
I have recently lost 2 of my own cats so I am still mourning so I understand your feelings sweetie.
Please feel free to share your thoughts, ask for help and support here as we will all give it, Purrs is such a wonderful community and we are all caring cat people here who are here to support each other :hug:
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Hi Nic,
So sorry to hear about your Rocky, poor little fella. :'(
I think how you are feeling is perfectly natural - it sounds as if Rocky was your best friend and you are obviously missing him something rotten. I think most of us on Purrs have 'been there'.
All cats are wonderful of course and their passing is sad, but every so often tragic circumstances, a sudden loss and/or the severing of a special bond hits us particulary hard. My first cat, Smudge, was my soul-mate and I never honestly thought I could live without him... yet somehow you find a way, and the waves of tears subside and the pain becomes less intense.
In time, you will be able to think of Rocky and just smile, not cry.... promise!
:hug:
Jas
X
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it's very sad that one of the things we all share in common on here is the loss of a beloved cat
you do absorb the loss after a while and move on with it, but I think it always stays inside you somewhere, as reading of someone else's grief brings it all back
but the pain of losing our special friends never ever eclipses the joy of having them for however long they are lent to us
please stay around, Rocky'smum and tell us about your other two when you feel able
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Oh Nic, so sorry to read your post. I really feel for you, and know what you're going through, as i lost my beloved Willow 15 months ago. She was also 'my baby', and 9 years
old, and it was also very sudden, so i know how wretched you must be feeling. Give yourself time to grieve and be assured that we are all here for you and many of us
know how you are feeling. It really does get easier in time, but you will miss Rocky very much. I felt like noone truly understood how upset i was feeling (until i came onto this forum).
Rocky is in a happy, healthy place, along with all of the other furries, and you did everything you could. Sending you lots of comforting hugs :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Awww Nic, :hug: :hug: I'm so sorry, :(
I have sent you a PM :hug:
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You have come to the right place. I have never talked about the loss of my little ones but still get comfort reading the comments others get re the loss of their cats.
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Sorry to welcome you to Purrs in such sad circumstances :hug: It may not feel like it now biut it does get easier, gradually the sad thoughts are replaced by happy memories although you never stop loving and missing them.
RIP little Rocky, safe and sound at the Bridge until your Mum is ready to collect you xx
The Greatest Gift
I always knew this time would come,
From the very instant our eyes first met.
How I loved you then! How I love you now!
I made a promise then, and I will keep that promise now...
You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal;
You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone.
It is for me alone to make this decision,
The price for the bright joy and pure laughter
You brought me during the time we shared.
I am the only one who can decide when it is time.
When my hope dies, and my fear rides high,
Just when I need you most, I must let you go.
It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready
For without your guidance, I will not know
When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger
My sorrow and my selfish heart aside
And give you this last gift, this greatest gift.
Your eyes will speak to mine, and I will know.
The pain of this moment is excruciating.
Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow.
And my heart drowns in a pool of grief.
For you have spoken and I have listened,
And unlike other decisions I have made
This one brings no relief...no comfort...no peace.
For if there´s one thing you´ve taught me,
If there´s only one thing I´ve learned...
Unconditional love has a condition after all,
I must be willing to let you go, when you speak to me
I must be willing to help you go, if you cannot go alone.
And I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.
Go easily now, go quickly now,
Do not linger here, it is time for you to leave.
Go find your strength, go find your youth.
Go find the ones who've gone before you.
You are free to leave me now, free to let your spirit soar
Rest easy now, your pain will soon be gone.
I pray I will find comfort in my memories...
In the dark and lonely days ahead.
I cannot say I will not miss you, I cannot say I will not cry.
For only my tears can heal my broken heart.
But, I promise you this; as long as I live,
You will live, alive in my mind, forever in my heart.
So I give you this last gift, all I have left to give,
And this will be my greatest gift...sending you away.
It is the measure of my unconditional love...
For only the greatest love can say,
"Good-bye, go find the bridge, we'll meet again,
Loving you has been the greatest gift of all."
Forever and Always... Until Rainbow bridge....
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So sorry to hear about Rocky and what a terribley hard thing to have to do . Rocky went to the Bridge a happy cat thanks to your kindness :hug: :hug:
RIP Rocky, play hard on the Bridge
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Thanks to all of you for your kind words and thoughts. it's nice to know there are people out there who understand how terribly hard it is. I still feel as though i'm trudging through the days in a trance. work is particularly hard as most people don't understand that you grieve for a much loved pet just as you would for another human being.
I thought i was doing OK for a few days but these past couple of days i've just felt so low. i am just missing him so much!! He was one of those crazy little cats who was constantly in the middle of whatever i was doing so I'm aware constantly that he's not around anymore. I did some gardening on Sunday and ended up in tears because normally he would've been in my way the whole time and playing with every weed I pulled out! As far as Rocky was concerned, me being outside meant playtime!
My other 2 boys are sweethearts but for the time being I'm struggling with them as I feel half hearted about everything. I know that will pass but it's horrible feeling this way. They are of course enjoying the fact that my lap is free a lot more than it used to be but when they settle down for a snooze and a cuddle all i can think about is my little guy.
I had rocky privately cremated and on saturday his ashes were returned to me. they are in a lovely wodden cat which is very discreet and has a really nice engraved plaque on the bottom. it's made me feel a little like he is back home where he belongs, but at the same time it's hard to look at it and think that its all I have left of him.
Its a real comfort to have found this site though and to be among so many like minded crazy cat people. I can have a moan or a rant here and i know you won't all think i'm mad!
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:hug: awww moan and rant away as much as you like. The cat we lost before Schui, Smokey was particularly close to me and when he was pts I never thought I would be so close to a cat again, especially Schui the cat we still had as he just wasn't that kind of cat - however, as things turned out I have to say Schui was eventually in no way less close and losing him has seemed worse than ever (I've actually put about that on his thread)and I think you will probably find that with your remaining cats too :hug:
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Just want to second what janeyk said.
When Dingle passed away in October 1987, I was distraught and spent may hours upsetting my poor aunt in Ireland by sobbing down the phone. I gradually comforted myself by "seeing" Dingle in my peripheral vision but not turning my head to look if you follow my drift. I just found one day, about 6 months later, that I couldn't "see" her any more. I was astonished to find that Gandolf had meanwhile somehow wormed his way into my affections as he was always daddy's boy and I was very warey of him. He passed away in 2006 and in my grief I discovered CatChat/Purrs
You're in a horrible empty low place at the moment but someone will fill the emptyness that Rocky has left in time and the hurt you feel will be replaced by fond memories. Take care :hug:
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the little wooden casket is only the physical remains you have of Rocky
you also have all the lovely memories of his life with you, and they will stay with you for ever
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:hug: :hug: :hug:
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Thanks JaneyK and Rosella. Hearing about your experiences has really helped. I've been worrying about being there for my other 2 - Jake and Bailey but what you've said makes me feel better. My oldest cat Jake is still searching for rocky which is really hard and when he can't find him he just sits at my feet looking at me like he wants me to help find him. its so sad. This is such a lovely forum though and hopefully when i'm feeling less miserable i can use it to share happy stories of my other 2 babies antics! :thanks:
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Thanks JaneyK and Rosella. Hearing about your experiences has really helped. I've been worrying about being there for my other 2 - Jake and Bailey but what you've said makes me feel better. My oldest cat Jake is still searching for rocky which is really hard and when he can't find him he just sits at my feet looking at me like he wants me to help find him. its so sad. This is such a lovely forum though and hopefully when i'm feeling less miserable i can use it to share happy stories of my other 2 babies antics! :thanks:
We too think that Byron keeps looking for Schui, she keeps sniffing round a particular place he used to go and sits in his one of favourite spots she never sat in before it does make you wonder what they are thinking :hug:
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Does anyone else still find it hard to accept that their little one is gone? I think part of me is still in denial as I can't quite get me head round the fact that rocky won't be coming back. It makes it harder because every now and then it hits me that he's gone completely and i feel so awful. I'm going to buy some new toys for my other two boys and spend some time playing with them and spoiling them in the hope that it will lift my spirits a bit.
Nic xx
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I lost my lovely Algie on the road nearly four years ago and still miss him - its quite normal
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Some pics of my rocky....hope this works!!
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Ive been following this thread altho i havent posted before and i send all my sympathies to you and and altho i know its very hard try to think of all the happy memories you have of Rocky,he looks a beautiful boy and i really do feel for you,we have all lost furbabes on here and we all feel for each other so your not alone and we are always here for you, and in time the pain will fade :hug: :hug:
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What a beautiful boy :Luv2: :hug:
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:hug: awww Rocky what a sweet boy he looks and so dearly loved by you xx
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God bless little one xxx
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What a gorgeous Boy.
RIP sweet Rocky. :hug: :hug:
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What a handsome boy! :Luv: :hug:
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Its now been almost 3 weeks since my wee guy had to be put to sleep and i've been getting on with things -missing him terribly every single day - but getting on with things all the same. the past few days though, i've been really upset again every time i think about him.
When i go to bed at night i find it especially hard as there are no distractions for me, so i lie there thinking about him and feeling totally awful that he's gone.
Its still so hard and i still can't believe he was taken from me after only 9 years and all the things he survived.
I want to put a few things down here as a tribute to him. They are a little silly but they are just some of the little things I miss about him and never want to forget;
Rocky :Luv:
I will remember the last bubble bath i took when you insisted on balancing on the edge of the bath beside me and sneezing at the bubbles i piled on your head.
I will remember that little tuft of hair that stuck up in the middle of your back, no matter how many times I tried to smooth it down
I will remember your frantic little pushy paw routine and how you would be so happy to see me or have me petting you that you would actually drool.
I will remember how you would lie on my chest and stare at me, purring, till you fell asleep.
I will remember telling you ‘wash your paws’ when you would try to climb on my lap when covered in mud and how you would do just that before settling on my lap
I will remember how you would do that crazy twitching thing with your whole body when you played, jumping around frantically in your excitement.
I will remember how I called you superman when you would fall asleep with both legs stretched out straight in front of you and hanging out of your little bed.
I will remember you sitting on the tv unit at the window, knocking down photos and moving ornaments so you had room, then watching me leave and always being back just in time for me coming home.
I will remember your antics with catnip, drooling and flattening yourself to rub your whole little body on it.
I will remember how you would come racing along the street to my car sometimes when I got home from somewhere. Chatting away to me as you headed for the door by my side.
I remember how you would match me step for step as I walked up or down stairs, looking up at me the whole time.
I will remember how much you absolutely adored getting into our bed and your crazy antics when I gave in and let you in there.
I will remember you rolling around on top of the fridge no matter how hard we tried to keep you off it.
I will remember you sneaking in to sleep in the spare room wardrobe and ending up locked in, even on the day of my wedding.
I will remember how i was always turning your cat bed upside down for you so you could hide underneath, when you demanded I do so after trying to do it yourself.
I will remember dragging long blades of grass around in a circle so you could chase them until you were dizzy.
I will remember how much comfort and happiness it gave me to have you purring on my lap.
I will remember how you used to pin your brother down and insist on washing his face and ears.
I will never ever forget how strong you were. How funny you were. How utterly happy you were, even when sick or hurt. How completely devoted to me you were. So devoted that you dragged yourself home with 2 broken hips just to be with me. What a survivor you were.
I miss you so terribly and it hurts so badly not having you in my life. I loved you more than I can describe and I always will. My wee button lamb. My Rockster Boxter, my little ASBO, my Rocky-By. My baby boy.
I miss you xxx
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They ain't Silly
I think you need lots of these :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
And If you need to talk :shy:
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Aw Rocky's Mum... :care:
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Aww :care: :care:
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:'( awww, you're not silly I'm just the same thinking about my Schui and keep having a cry so I understand :hug: :hug:
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It's been 4 weeks and i still think about Rocky all the time. Found a photo on my camera that i had forgotten I'd taken. Miss you Button Lamb xxx
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Beautiful Photo
:hug: :hug: :hug:
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:grouphug:
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You'll never stop thinking about him, the difference is that as time goes on you will smile when you think of him rather than feeling sad :hug:
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You'll never stop thinking about him, the difference is that as time goes on you will smile when you think of him rather than feeling sad :hug:
here here Tiggy's mum
Its nearly 3 years since i lost my beautiful boy Smudge
And i'm in tears now thinking bout him
So sending :hug: :hug: :hug: to you Rocky's mum and it does get easier and you are definately NOT silly
We are all here and u can rant all you like xxxx
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Thanks so much to all of you on here. It's amazing how much it's helping to know there are people who understand and take the time to send kind thoughts. I'm still a bit up and down at the moment and regularly have teary moments when I think about my boy. We drove past the emergency vet i had to take him to the other night and it hit me like a ton of bricks, horrible.
It will be six weeks tomorrow and I miss him terribly every single day but i know it'll get a bit less painful with the more time that passes...i hope. At the same time though, i hate the thought of my memories not being as clear as time goes on. I can still picture him so clearly and often think i see him from the corner of my eye sometimes. I don't want to lose that...does that make sense?
Thank you again to everyone for your lovely messages and support. You really are a great bunch - but of course you are - aren't all cat lovers?!
Nic xx
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:grouphug:
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I understand so much about not having clear memories of Rocky and I am afraid mine have dimmed over the last 4 years and have a picture of Kocka infront of me by the puta and I find it hard to dee her any other way :(
Time is a partial healer and it does get easier but never goes away I think :hug: :hug:
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Its been nearly 5 years since I lost my little girl and I have lots of hate and uncertain feelings over that time, it was a very hard time for me without loosing her, when I lost her it was the final nail for me. I somehow feel responsible for her loss and will never forgive myself for that :(
It only gets easier over time, it never goes away. I have to blank things out when I think about her now :( When I think of her I have to remember the little star she was :Luv2:
Things will get easier, but you have to allow yourself to grieve :hug:
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I'm no poet but I wrote this 2 days after my boy was pts. i was struggling in work and rather than do the million other things i should've been doing i wrote this. Thought it was time to put it on here
Rocky
You left me just so suddenly
There’s a gap now in my heart
But I’ll cherish precious memories
So we’ll never be apart
You brought such perfect, honest love
So much joy every day
And I will miss you constantly
Your purrs, your hugs, your play
My lap now feels so empty
No furry head to pat
No winding love around me
My boy, my friend, my cat
I see you still around me
From the corner of my eye
And as I realise you’re not there
I struggle not to cry
I miss so much about you
And others just can’t see
How such a tiny animal
Could give so much to me
So now I want to thank you
In many different ways
For all the love and happiness
We shared along the way
Through my best times and my worst times
You kept me feeling strong
while I know I had to let you go
Being without you feels so wrong
I never will forget you
My devoted, precious friend
I’ll carry you within my heart
Until the very end
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Aww come here! :care: :Luv: :hug:
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Lovely poem :hug:
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:grouphug:
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Sorry, I started to read it then began to well up :(
I'll try again later :shy:
:grouphug:
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What a beautiful p :hug:oem , straight from the heart and so moving it had me in tears
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Thanks to those of you who have taken the time to read my posts and my poem. I realised today that it will be 8 weeks on Saturday since Rocky was put to sleep. I can't believe it and it still feels so raw. I was in London with my mum for the bank holiday weekend and it was really hard coming home to only 2 cats instead of 3. I'm having a bad day today. Really missing him. It's the strangest feeling because sometimes when i think about it, it hits me out of the blue that he's never coming back again and it's like I've only just realised he's gone. i still can't quite believe this has happened. It's almost like i expect someone to tell me it was all a big mistake and bring him home to me. I just feel so upset still and sometimes I get so angry that he was taken so suddenly and when he was still so young. I just wish I could think of him without getting upset!!
I hate feeling like this. It's torture.
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Thought about you all day today button lamb. Really missed you when i was out in the garden in the sun and kept picturing you stretched out sunning yourself beside me. Miss you so terribly
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perhaps it was his spirit you sensed in the garden, keeping you company :hug:
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These past few nights I've been dreaming of Rocky. The dreams are so vivid and it's strange because in them i know he's gone but am so thrilled because he's come back to me. last night i dreamed that my other boy Bailey was howling at a strange cat outside my window (which he does frequently) i ran out in my pyjamas to stop him and rocky came running towards me from under a parked car. He was meowing and rubbing off my legs then rolling around at my feet just like he always did. It was so real!!
Horrible when i woke up and realised it was just a dream...i even found myself looking out of the window just in case. God, seeing him alive in my dreams is wonderful but also really upsetting when i wake up to reality. i'm welling up just remembering it.
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I dream about my cats too and it is sad when you wake up and it's a dream but shows they are there in spirit :hug:
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I really do believe that our Bridge babies come and visit and you dreaming about Rocky is his way of visiting you and trying to let you know that he is okay :hug:
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I really do believe that our Bridge babies come and visit and you dreaming about Rocky is his way of visiting you and trying to let you know that he is okay :hug:
You could be right, I have this recurring dream about our first 2 cats Penny and Squeaky where we have lost them so we go looking for them and find them :)
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I'd like to believe my dreams are his way of getting in touch, like so many of us i wish he could send me a sign that he's still out there somewhere better than here. I had another dream last night. I dreamt I was in the garden trying to take photo's of Rocky but every time I tried he faded away only to reappear elsewhere. it was so frustrating and he was calling out to me and getting frustrated in the dream too.
I'm still really missing him and get tearful a lot when i think of him. it will be 11 weeks on saturday and yet it seems like no time at all.
A huge part of me still can't believe he's gone for good. I just can't fully accept that he won't be coming home. I hate this and just wish i could think of him without the horrible feeling of sadness.
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I hate this and just wish i could think of him without the horrible feeling of sadness.
I know it seems impossible but that really will come in time :hug: I actually consulted an animal communicator (if you knew me you'd realise how crazy that sounds as I am soooo not normally into that sort of thing), and I am absolutely convinced that she made contact with my beloved Tiggy. I still miss her and always will but I was able to allay my terrible feelings of guilt for having to have her put to sleep, she was 19 ands very ill but it didn't make the decision and aftermath any easier. Once I knew she was OK and din't blame me it made the moving on much easier.
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It was 3 months on Saturday. In one respect I can't believe it's been so long, as my memories of him settling on my knee as he was pts in the vets that night are so clear and yet it also feels like such a horribly long time since I last saw Rocky. It doesn't make sense but thats how it feels.
I am getting better and it all feels less 'raw' now. I should be relieved, but there's a part of me that hates it because I can't picture him as clearly and instantly as I could just a few weeks ago.
I wish I had some video footage of him because the images of him running around or jumping onto my lap that I had in my head are fuzzy now.
Miss you my wee Rockster xx
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:hug: aww I know how you feel, it's 4 months since Schui was pts I still miss him dearly but it is easier. I find it very hard to see pics of him still though especially the ones just before he was pts.
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Dear Rocky's mom,
I'm so sorry that you lost little Rocky, I understand the pain. My little Buddy has been missing for just under a month and I've tried absolutely everything to find him and I just haven't. Through my posters and leaflets I got about 15 possible call outs but everytime it was a different cat. Walking around calling his name with a bag full of posters, carrying the cat box, stopping people in the street pleading if they cold look out for him.
What you wrote about the garden really touched me. My Buddy loved the back garden, he has his own special 'director's style' chair and he would sit for hours and hours in it, looking at the birds in the trees and chattering his teeth at passing pigeons and sparrows. When it became dark I used to bring his chair in with him still in it!
He would jump into his chair ever before I had put it on the ground. In the winter his chair was inside. We would stand by the back door, looking out upon the cold of winter and I would say to him, 'Don't worry Buddy, summer will come'. Summer has come but Buddy is not here sitting in his beloved chair. I hate summer now. His chair is still here, waiting for him to pounce into, smiling at the warm rays of sunshine and the look on his face of 'everything is alright in the world'.
I live alone with Buddy so my photo gallery on the wall is just pictures of Buddy and me, I have no other family. There is one picture I took of him sitting on top of the fridge and the angle is of him looking down towards me and as I sit at this computer, it is like he is looking right a me and all I can do now is tell him how sorry I am that I couldn't find him, I miss him so much.
If I never get to be reunited with Buddy here on earth, I hope that he, Rocky and all the beloved other little ones are all playing at the Bridge, free from pain or fear.
Rocky sounds like an amazing little boy, and I am sure you were the best mother he could ever of wished for.
Take Care,
Miriam
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Dear Rocky's mom,
I'm so sorry that you lost little Rocky, I understand the pain. My little Buddy has been missing for just under a month and I've tried absolutely everything to find him and I just haven't. Through my posters and leaflets I got about 15 possible call outs but everytime it was a different cat. Walking around calling his name with a bag full of posters, carrying the cat box, stopping people in the street pleading if they cold look out for him.
What you wrote about the garden really touched me. My Buddy loved the back garden, he has his own special 'director's style' chair and he would sit for hours and hours in it, looking at the birds in the trees and chattering his teeth at passing pigeons and sparrows. When it became dark I used to bring his chair in with him still in it!
He would jump into his chair ever before I had put it on the ground. In the winter his chair was inside. We would stand by the back door, looking out upon the cold of winter and I would say to him, 'Don't worry Buddy, summer will come'. Summer has come but Buddy is not here sitting in his beloved chair. I hate summer now. His chair is still here, waiting for him to pounce into, smiling at the warm rays of sunshine and the look on his face of 'everything is alright in the world'.
I live alone with Buddy so my photo gallery on the wall is just pictures of Buddy and me, I have no other family. There is one picture I took of him sitting on top of the fridge and the angle is of him looking down towards me and as I sit at this computer, it is like he is looking right a me and all I can do now is tell him how sorry I am that I couldn't find him, I miss him so much.
If I never get to be reunited with Buddy here on earth, I hope that he, Rocky and all the beloved other little ones are all playing at the Bridge, free from pain or fear.
Rocky sounds like an amazing little boy, and I am sure you were the best mother he could ever of wished for.
Take Care,
Miriam
Oh Miriam, you're words really touched me and thank you so much for taking the time to respond when you are going through so much yourself. I also have a picture of rocky that looks like he's looking directly at me and for weeks I found myself saying sorry to him when i looked at it. sorry that i couldn't save him and had to let him go.
I can't imagine how hard it must be, at least I have closure and although i know my little man is gone for good, i also know he went peacefully while curled on my lap and that i did all I could. It must be torture going through what you are.
Buddy looks like a gorgeous boy, a fabulous tabby just like my Rocky. If he's out there somewhere, rest assured he'll be fighting to get back to you. They know when they are truly loved and after experiencing my boy crawling home with broken hips i know how strong they are and how much he will try to be reunited with his lovely mum.
I really really hope he comes back to you and has many more years sunbathing in his chair ahead of him. I'll keep up with you on your thread
Take care,
Nicola
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Had a wobbly moment last night. my 2 boys spent most of the night curled on my lap hiding from the thunder storm outside. I looked at Rocky's picture and just felt awful that he wasn't there. Although knowing Rocky he would have been out in the middle of it - nothing scared him! He always went out in the muddiest weather then came home and made sure he walked on as many surfaces as possible for maxiimum muddy pawprint coverage. To think of all the times I moaned about cleaning them up. i'd give anything to have him trailing mud through the house again!
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Yes its these sorta things that get you and make one feel so gulity ......but dont, take it as a great memory of his little character :hug:
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I was also thinking of my Buddy in last night's storm. He used to run in from just a strong gust of wind, no way he would of survived last night, he would be totally terrified.
Just like Gill says, the memories of their characters will be cherished forever.
There is a film called 'What dreams may come' staring Robin Williams and it has a vision of Rainbow Bridge in it. It is a beautiful film, I highly recommend it. It is currently available on play.com for about £4. When you watch it, you will have hope of the day you are reunited with little boy Rocky.
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Just got back from a 2 week holiday and it felt awful coming home to 2 cats instead of three. It's been almost 5 months and I still think about Rocky every day. i miss the wee guy so so much. I hate the fact that he's not here with me.
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Know the Feeling Hun, although I have Olivia and Love Her to Bit's
I still have Moment's thinking about my Boy's, They are never far from My Mind.
I still Miss Them Both :'(
for You :hug: :hug: :hug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Its only a few weeks since my boy went to the Bridge, and although Poot is a beautiful boy and I'm smitted with him, I miss my Max's little furry face greeting me at the front door.
I don't think we ever stop missing them :hug:
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It will be 6 months on 4th October since i lost my boy and life has gone on. But nothing is the same. I just can’t get over it. I still can’t think about him properly without crying. I HATE that he is gone and I still find myself goig through 'what ifs' and imagining different outcomes that would mean he was still with me. It’s unbearable and I seem to miss him more as time goes by rather than less. I just feel such a hole in my life where he used to be. I feel so sad. I don’t know what to do. My other two boys are wonderful but they are so much more independent and he was my special wee guy. 6 months is such a long time and it feels so very long since Rocky was happily bounding through my day to day life creating havoc and yet it also seems like yesterday since that heartbreaking last time I held him in the vets. I miss him so terribly.
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Awww sweetheart, it is incredibly hard, and its only been a month since I lost Max, but the pain is still there, maybe a bit more dulled than it was, but still there :hug: :hug:
Try to think of the wonderful times you shared, and that you were blessed to have each other in your lives :Luv2: Some people never get the chance to share an amazing bond like you clearly did with Rocky, so take comfort in that if you can :hug:
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I'm sorry it is still so painful for you, having lost my dear boy 6 months ago I can understand how you feel I get those what if's too that's natural but do try and concentrate on the good times you shared and in time I think you'll find you'll get close to your other 2 boys too :hug: :hug:
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The Blue Cross have a pet bereavement line - 0800 0966606, this might give some comfort www.bluecross.org.uk
It is staffed by really nice, fully trained people
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Its just the hardest thing to get over and 4 years on I still have very bad times over Kocka.
The what ifs are part of the grieving process and I used the Blue Cross line but by email cos couldnt talk to anyone.
I so understand how you feel as I am sure everone does but each person grieves at d different pace, I dont think it ever really goes away, just gets slightly dimmer.
I found that everytime I had a very bad phase I used to write down how I felt about Kocka and what I remembered about her and think that helps. I still have all her things and when I move she will come with me.
All I can do is send you some of these :hug: :hug: :hug: and it does get better over time, a long time.
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Today I thought about you
I’m missing your sweet face
Your clumsy bold affection
that nothing can replace
I smile for all the time we had
although I shed a tear
The memories are magical
but I long to have you near
I'll keep our special moments
as a way to ease my pain
and remember you my best friend
until we meet again.
I was blessed to have you in my life
How it hurt to watch you leave
But I’ll think about you often
As I struggle. As I grieve
No-one else can truly know
Just what you meant to me
I strive just to explain myself
I want to make them see
You were such a joy to be around
A gift in many ways
And all the love you gave me
filled our time with treasured days
Its never easy letting go
When you lose someone you love
I hope you’re making rainbows
From somewhere up above
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:hug: :hug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug:
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:hug: :hug:
Just wanted to give you a hug, I dont think it gets any easier and i know how you feel xx
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beautiful poem :hug:
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Today is my birthday and 7 months since my boy was pts. I had to be in work early for a meeting, forgot my umbrella and then the train was late - so not a good start to the day. But then, as I walked into the station, a huge rainbow appeared and curved right over the top of the station where i was standing. I've never been much of a believer in an after life in the past, but I can't help thinking that this was Rocky sending me a happy birthday wish just when I needed it most. It certainly made me feel a whole lot better. I honestly felt like he was somewhere out there thinking of me!
Nicola
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:Luv2: aww that's lovely, and Happy Birthday to you :hug:
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:birthday:
:N: :I: :C: :O: :L: :A:
Rocky sure is thinking about you and so are we, we all know what it is like to lose a precious furbabe and glad that the rainbow made you feel good.
Hope you have a good birthday with lots of :birth 2: :pressie: :birth 2: :pressie: :birth 2: :pressie:
Then later maybe some of :Party 3: :drink2: :cake: :birthday 1: :Party 3:
With love from Yvonne, Spotty, Homer, Parrot, Cody, Ginger Snaps and and Jacob Black xxx
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Happy Birthday Nicola !!!
And I am pretty sure that Rainbow was sent from Rocky :Luv:
xxx
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Awwww, sounds like a special Rocky rainbow to me as well :hug: :hug: :hug:
Hope you have a lovely birthday :hug:
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definately a rocky rainbow, he is there and watching over you :hug: :hug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
I still miss my Oscar and he has been gone over 10 years now -also Leo and Max and Sacha and they went over 15 years ago - i often think about them and also have dreams with them in them.
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I had a very wobbly moment at the weekend. I was having lunch with my OH after a days shopping and thought about how I'd need to put the christmas tree up soon. I was suddenly overwhelmed with missing my Rocky and ended up blubbing like a baby in the middle of the restaurant. My wee guy loved the chaos of christmas - climbing into every box as we unpacked decorations, making a bed under the tree (and on top of all the carefully wrapped presents), knocking down every card on the windowsill. Then the fun and games to be had with piles of wrapping paper on christmas morning. I will miss all that so much. My other two boys are so well behaved and I long for my little furry mischief maker to cause some mess and trouble in the house again. I know I'm going to struggle with my first christmas without him, I'm sitting here as I type, looking at a picture I have of him curled up on top of the santa clause I always keep under the tree. It's as old as he was and pretty dog eared from all the affection it got from Rocky over the years. I'm absolutely dreading opening the box and seeing that Santa. I can't believe how much it still hurts that he's gone. It's been more than 8 months and I still miss him so terribly. It's honestly the worst thing I've ever been through.
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:hug: :hug: :hug: I find Christnmas so hard too and its 4 years now and will always remember Kockas last one with me for ever
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:hug: :hug: :hug:
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It will be our first Christmas without Max this year, so I know just how you feel. I had a bit of a moment last week, ended up having a good old cry, its amazing how much we miss them :hug: :hug:
However, on the upside its our first Christmas with Pootypants, so I'll put the tree up on Saturday, see how he likes it. Hopefully it might stay in one piece :innocent:
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:hug: :hug:
I can understand, our Christmas without Schui who passed this year too :(
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Oh hearing of Rocky at Christmas has made me cry, he sure was one special little boy, no wonder you still miss him so much. I'm sure, when Santa bring the pressies to your home on Christmas eve, he will bring a little piece of Rocky in with all the gifts and when you see a bauble swish on a branch of the Christmas tree, on Christmas day, you will know it is Rocky moving it.
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Thanks for the nice words everyone. Well, the tree is up - although I cried on and off throughout the whole thing - some of them were happy tears as we traded 'Rocky' stories and laughed at memories of his antics. It was that damn santa that set me off, when I took him out of the box he was still covered in Rockys hair from last year. It was so starnge to sit back and look at the tree with a glass of wine without jumping up every two minutes to stop Rocky climbing on it/ tearing at the parcels/stealing baubles. how I miss his mischief and madness. It's nearly nine months now and I still miss him every day and feel angry too that he was taken from me. He will be in my thoughts on christmas day & no doubt there will be more tears when I give the other two their pressies!
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Well, here I am starting a new year and I still can't believe my wee Rocky isn't here anymore - even though its now been 8 months. I had a good old cry on New Years Eve, miss him so much still. I hope this year is a better one than last, losing my boy was such a horrible experience, hopefully this year will bring happier times x
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:hug: :hug: :hug:
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:hug: :hug:
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I had a sleepless night last night because I couldn't get the wee man out of my head. When I have nothing else to think about I find myself getting upset. Miss you so much rocky-by, can't believe it's nearly a year.
The quiet times are hardest
when I can’t avoid the pain
When I want to just undo this mess
and bring you back again
Accepting it is still so hard
Someone must have got it wrong!
How could you not survive this
when I know you were so strong?
If love and simple force of will
could have kept you here with me
You would be right beside me still
But it wasn’t meant to be
I tried my very hardest
to give my hope to you
To keep you here with whispered strength
my fierce love to pull you through
But sometimes love is not enough
my will just had to bend
So with calm and quiet dignity
I could help you at the end
I know you’re still around me
in a thousand quiet ways
and all those little moments
will be carried through my days
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:care: :grouphug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Yesterday was the first anniversary for my wee guy. I can't believe so much time has passed, it's still so fresh in my mind. I'm glad I still have so many vivid memories of Rocky and so many happy moments to recall - although in some ways that makes it harder because even after a year, I still get very emotional when I think about him.
I had a big old howling cry yesterday and then laughed about some of his funniest antics with my OH.
My wee rockster, button lamb, I miss you still and the gap you left in our house has never been filled - your tiny wee body held such an enormous personality, and I still think of you every day.
Miss you miss you miss you. Love you with all my heart wee man. xxx
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Nothing that can be said except :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Let me add some more :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Rocky has been on my mind even more than usual recently. I keep thinking how he would have been enjoying the good weather and the fact that I'm spending so much time outdoors.
Just wanted to pop in here and say I still miss you my wee guy xxxx
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last night a little tabby cat ran accross the road as I was driving up the street to my house. for a moment I thought it was Rocky! Madness I know but it was my initial reaction as soon as I saw the other cat. At moments like that I just feel so sad that the wee guy is gone and I miss him so much, so suddenly, that I struggle not to burst into tears!
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:(
:hug: :hug:
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sorry you are still hurting so much :hug:
I remember when we lost bluto (handrear from 3 weeks that oh found) I was gardening and saw out of the corner of my eye a black plant pot the same size as him and it really freaked me out, that was when I rushed to the blue cross, not to replace him but to pass on his legacy
:hug: :hug:
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Its hard to believe we're about to have another christmas without the wee guy. I still miss him every day.
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:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
I know how you feel -its almost a year to me losing Bungly too.
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:hug: :hug: :hug:
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2 years today.
I can’t believe it, it seems like yesterday.
I spent most of the weekend with Rocky on my mind and kept remembering the weekend he died.
I still can’t believe how sudden it all was and that he’s been gone so long.
He is still very much missed and I think about him all the time.
My poor wee Rockster – always in my heart.
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:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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So hard :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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I hope that as time has gone on you can look back fondly on your memories together, instead of only feeling sadness that he is no longer with you :hug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug:
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:hug:
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Thinking of you :hug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Been thinking about my boy a lot over the past few days. Especially as one of my other boys did a disappearing act over the weekend and had me pounding the streets in the wee small hours till I found him. 3 and a half years on and I still miss Rocky terribly. Love you wee Rockster x
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:hug: :hug: :hug:
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It's been four and a half years since my precious Rocky went to the bridge and not a day goes by without me thinking of him.
Now his best buddy Jake has joined him.
I'm hoping that they're together somewhere, finally reunited.
I'm heartbroken to have lost them both but it makes me smile to imagine Jake pinning Rocky down to wash his ears, just like he used to, then cuddling up with him for a long snooze.
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Rockysmum :hug: It's 3 years since my darling Chivvy went to the bridge and I still cry when I think of him (which is often). I know the time will come, for both of us, when the memories bring more smiles than tears :hug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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My Rocky. My little soul mate. Miss you always.
Merry Kissmouse Angel x
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7 years since I lost you Button lamb.
You were so young & so full of life. I still think about you all the time.
Miss you my special boy. My little soul cat x
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Nicola :hug: :hug: :hug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug:
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In memory of Rocky, and thinking of you :hug: