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Cat General => General Cat Chat => Topic started by: tan160581 on April 08, 2009, 14:02:20 PM

Title: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 08, 2009, 14:02:20 PM
hi
i really need your advice i had a appointment yesterday with the vets but i just couldnt go, my cat is 5 and at xmas he was disgonsed as having a tumour behind his nose and he was in the vets as he wasnt eating lost half his body weight and wasnt the same, anyway after they took the tests they gave him some steroids and they seemed to work and he was back to being my cat and eating and put back his weight and more besides, now the results were never conclusive as they couldnt take enough samples and he did actually die on the operating table but managed to bring him back to life, they were testing for a polp or a tumour but my vet thought it was a tumour, anyway my pet insururers wont pay up this is on this forum but under general if you want to read as to why and i am going to take them to court, anyway he started to get used to the steroids, so my said my cat wasnt a good candidate for chemo as he wouldnt like the bloodtests etc, so i found another vet 2 hours from me that would try out this new tablet and for 7 weeks it worked but yesterday i woke up and his nose was all blocked up and a funny smell from his throat and not eating, i was scared and i rung my vets and he said that i have done all i could and to let him go, i am broke now and i have used all my 2000 savings on him, not that i mind i jsut wish i could have saved him, but anyway i wanted a second opinon so i went to the other vet and he said he was fine and he may have a cold, but i know how last time it started and how he went down hill, the nosebleeds will the be the next stage, but the other vet gave him some pills to make him hungry, and said give it 10 days and force feed him and see what happens then, so i have one vet telling me not to, one vet telling me to do so plus all my family and friends saying its time to let go, he had a appointment at my vets at 430 and i could really do with some advice as i am at breaking point xx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: sheryl on April 08, 2009, 14:15:00 PM
Oh Hun what an awful situation to be in.  I cant really offer any advice just a huge big  :hug: for you and your boy.

You have to do what you think is right for him and for you - all I can say is dont do anything until you are sure xxx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls on April 08, 2009, 14:23:36 PM
Very confusing  :-:

I dont really know as I have been in this situation myself, one vet saying one thing, another vet saying another. Does he actually have a tumour or is it just what the vet thinks he has?

I know your very confused but the first post didnt make much sense to me.  :shy:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on April 08, 2009, 14:28:14 PM
What a terrible situation and feel so sory for you.

Its really impossible for us to advise you because we are not vets and do not know your cat.

However as a cat owner can so understand your situation and my only advice is to look at your cats situation, is he suffering, is he in pain, what quality of life does he have and is there anything you can do to change any of this. If you can do something will his quality of life improve and how much distress will it cause to him and how much longer will he be able to carry on.

Bearing all this in mind you have to make the decision that is best for your cat to give him the best quality of life and then if this is to let him go to the Bridge peacefully, may he rest in peace  :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: MrsR on April 08, 2009, 14:35:22 PM
Oh hunnie I really feel for you I so do.

I have to agree with Gill - is your cat suffering and does your cat have quality of life.   It is these questions I would base my final decision on but I so understand how you are feeling as I have recently had 2 of my cats put to sleep.   It is one of the hardest decisions you will have to make as I know for me it was mine.    :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: clarenmax on April 08, 2009, 14:37:38 PM
This sounds like a terrible situation.

I can only echo what the others have said so far, but it must be terribly confusing having 2 different vets telling you different things.

I can't offer any advice I'm afraid, other than looking at your cat's quality of life etc, just wanted to say that we're all here for you, whatever you decide you have to do.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Liz on April 08, 2009, 14:46:16 PM
If there is no quality of life then I'm afraid that PTS would be the kindest thing also the hardest thing for both of you :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 08, 2009, 14:53:00 PM
sorry i made no sense, but i am all in a difer

my local vets did a test but couldnt really get a big enough sample to see what the lump is, so they said they were 80% it was a tumour, they said my cat wouldnt be a good candidate for chemo as he is not a good patient gets stressed out etc so we put him on prendasone a streroid and that worked great til he got use to them, so i went back to my vets and he said radiotherapy was my only hope

i have pet insurance, and i put the claim in jan but they kept losing my letters and each new letter i said they said they had to pass over to claims and i would know in 10-14 days, well they lost 6 letters, i got a letter back the other day saying they were not going to pay out as it could be a preexisting condition and i didnt have enough evidence to support my claims even throigh i had 2 vets on my side

so i went to this other vet who is 2hours away from me and he said that it would buy my cat some time so i could fight petplan and try and get them to say yes to radiotherapy, so he has been on this chemo tab for 5 weeks now and again back to my cay that i know and love, what makes it harder is that he is only 5, not that any age is easier, but also i rescued him and he had a real bad start in life so i think really he hasnt had much of a life at all and i want him to live til his old and grey with me, so i keep trying,

well yesterday my vet told me that yes i should put him to sleep as we have tried everything but i had to see what the vet said that gave me chemo thought as i guess i didnt like my vets answer, and he said for 10 days try him on some apetite booster tablets and a steroid injection which he had last night, but his still the same, breathing with diffulcity, his hungry as his begging me for food, but cause he cant smell he wont eat and his tummy keeps grumbling, and not his usual self and his become very clingy and i keep thinking is he asking me to hold on and try or let him rest and sleep, i dont know what to do, my family say i am being cruel and let him sleep, but my other vet and the lady who recommend me to the vet to get the chemo said i would be a murderer and i have to try as he may just have a very bad cold and see what happens, but i hate seeing my cat like this esp when he was such a piggy with food i hope this makes more sense xxx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 08, 2009, 14:58:03 PM
as with quallity of life he has been very sleepy and not like him as he likes to go out for walks and play with toys, which he hasnt done since jan continulously, but then he have a good day and play on the stairs and just now he was scratching his cat post and wanting a hug, so i keep thinking what if i go today at 430 and make the biggest mistake of my life, and maybe if i gave him a few days he would of got better, but then i think what if i dont go and like last time he got the nose bleeds, he was unsteady on his feet 2 days ago, but now seems a little better
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Angiew on April 08, 2009, 15:18:47 PM
Its a hard decision for you to have to make.
I had one of my cats pts a couple of months ago with suspected FIP - at least her belly had swollen and xrays showed her liver to be not right. She was still very active and eating etc but I had seen her nibbling at her food , little and often because her stomach was so small and she was getting uncomfortable when she was resting. It was a hard decision, I miss her terribly and suspect she may have gone on for a few months more quite happily. She was not a candidate for medication as she fought tooth and nail when we had to tablet her. Having seen the swelling progressing over a few months and knowing how uncomfortable it could be (I had endometriosis and, before a hysterectomy, was really uncomfortable at certain times) I decided to let her go peacefully.

I still plague myself with could haves, should haves and would haves, but having gone through this so many times before I can come to terms with my decision.
If one vet thinks it may be a cold then it might be worth trying for a couple of weeks as long as he isn't in too much distress, it may get him over this hurdle but if you do decide to do this then keep a close eye on him (which I'm sure you are doing) and keep evaluating his condition.

I hope you manage to choose the right decision - one you will be able to live with.

Take care.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Sheli_80 on April 08, 2009, 15:26:07 PM
I am so sorry to hear about your poor little puss and that your insurer has been putting you through the mill.

Advising on wether or not you should have him PTS is something I don't think many people could do without seeing him or any vet experience. I went through something similar with my old cat, after he was diagnosed with CRF everything went downhill and I always worried about having to make the decision, and if the vet would advise me when I didn't think it was time. The best advice I ever heard (apart from these forums of course) was from the CPL lady who fostered him before us. She told us that no-one, not even the vet could make us put him to sleep. We were the only ones who could make that decision.She went on to say that when it was his time we would know because we would see it in his face that he had enough and that the last loving act we could do as an owner was to help make his final journey. I'm not sure if that will be of any comfort but I know it was for us when it was time, it didn't make it any easier I still cried for days, but it was a comfort knowing that we had in fact seen it for ourselves that our little old man had had enough and that we had made the right decision.

Sending happy thoughts and hugs  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Gillian Harvey on April 08, 2009, 15:35:54 PM
Quote from: tan160581 on April 08, 2009, 14:53:00 PM
but my other vet and the lady who recommend me to the vet to get the chemo said i would be a murderer and i have to try

Just wanted to say, what a horrible thing for someone to say to you  :hug: If it turns out that pts is the best thing to do, then it is an act of kindness to prevent further suffering. Its bad enough you are going through all of this without some tactless remark like that. I hope you can decide what to do for the best.  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 08, 2009, 15:43:35 PM
i am still in my pjs i just cant decide what to do, i just been holding him on my lap his stomach has been rumbling and his struggling to breathe, i just cant decide what to do, i know if i put him to sleep i be thinking if only i had given him a few more days, and i dont i be thinking i am cruel making him suffer, i make up my mind to pts him and then he goes and scratches the scratch post and rubs himself on my legs and i think oh i change my mind and see how he goes in a few days and then i see him struggling for breathe and then i change it back again,

i think i go at 430 and show my vet what the chemo vet thought and his notes and then see what happens, i am not looking forward to this one bit at all - thanks everyone for all your thoughts, comment and advice so far i have realy appreciated it and i let you know what happens when i come back xx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: moira on April 08, 2009, 15:52:33 PM
None of us find the decision easy and we all wonder'what if's' . It is certainly not murder to pts if he is suffering, it is the final act of kindness we can do for them. Only you can decide if its time to let him go. I will be thinking of you this afternoon.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Pinkbear (Julie) on April 08, 2009, 16:04:16 PM
Aw, hunny!  :hug: :hug:

It's the toughest part of being a pet owner... and it's also a responsibility we have that we must set aside our own feelings and act in the pet's best interest.  :( Can you guarantee a course of treatment will restore him to full health or at the very least give him a quality of life that won't involve him suffering?  :shy:

It rips your heart out I know, but sometimes I feel people keep their pets going for the wrong reasons. It doesn't matter to him whether he lives 2 more hours or 12 years... what does matter is will he suffer?  :'(

It's your cat, hunny, and you are the one best placed to know whether he's suffering and if that's likely to continue. No one here can tell you to PTS him but no one here will condemn you either.  :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Yvonne on April 08, 2009, 16:29:07 PM
I would make a decision tomorrow if you can because the day after that is Good Friday and with the limited amount of time the Vet will be open over Easter it is likely to be very hectic which is not what you want.

I wish you the very best – I know what it is like to have a poorly puss cat – good luck.

 :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: scattycat on April 08, 2009, 16:51:23 PM
It's an awful decision to have to make - my husband and I have been through it twice in just over 2 years - and latter one (Ginny) she had a tumour under her tongue.

The vet didnt pick this up on the first couple of trips, and we'd given her the anti-biotic jabs, but on the last visit (which was about a month from the first visit) when she'd gone very thin, and very quiet, and just not herself, they found the tumour under her tongue which was inoperable. She was eating, but not as much and she just gave me 'the look' - which I know sounds stupid, but our other cat Suki gave me that look as if to say 'I know you've tried to help me, but it's just my time'

We were given the option of a steriod injection which we were told would give us another month with her, but we just couldnt 'keep her going' for our sakes knowing we'd have to have her PTS a month later, and made the decision there and then to have her PTS.

Do let us know what you decide, we are all thinking of you.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 08, 2009, 17:19:55 PM
hi everyone

on the way to my vets my cat was screeching and he never usually does that and was fighting to get out and when i got him out of the carrier he was shaking, this is a cat that usually likes the vets as he gets so much attention from the nurses - i kept thinking he knows what i am doing and he doesnt want to go yet, prob silly i know so i was in tears by fore i had even got into the vets

i went to my vet and i told him what the other vet said and he said that basically the tumour was inoperable and that i had done everything that i could, i said that the other vet thought  it was a cold, and it may clear up, he said that was highly unlikely but said as was wasnt suffering to much i could take him home and has given me some ad cans that i mix into a paste, he stressed that he didnt think that he had long, but i may be able to have him till saturday and then take him in when his working in the morning to put him to sleep, he is home now and curled up in his bed, but i just cant feed him - the vet said i would have a job to as it took 6 nurses to hold him down and that is why he didnt want to do the chemo, any advice on how to feed him i have noone to help me, i am thinking maybe i did the wrong thing now, im happy to have him home, but i wondering if i am being selfish, xx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: bonnielass on April 08, 2009, 18:01:47 PM
This is a horrible position to be in, you want to do the best for your baby but at the same time are reluctant to let go,i can understand as i have been in this position with my bridge babe Ninja,only you can make this very very hard decision and do whats best for him,i will be thinking of you through this and no matter what we are all here for you :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Susanne (urbantigers) on April 08, 2009, 18:13:28 PM
 :hug:

I can only echo what everybody else has said - look into his eyes and I think you will know the answer, whatever it is.  Only you can know whether he is suffering and no longer has any quality of life.  It sounds as if the first vet knows him better than the second vet?  Sometimes a new vet who isn't familiar with a cat may recommend treatment, unaware of how a cat copes with frequent vet visits, taking medication etc.  What sort of prognosis has the second vet given if it was just a cold and you went ahead with radiotherapy?

It's never an easy decision and I don't envy you.  Whatever you do, enjoy the time you have with your precious boy.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Millys Mum on April 08, 2009, 18:28:23 PM
 :hug:
I know how you feel, i spent last friday thinking the exact same thoughts  :(  you worry about regretting letting go to soon and maybe being able to help but this is better than the guilt if you leave too long.
If he fights you hun then you have to think hard, if he cant enjoy the next few days then hes really not gaining anything  :hug: :hug:
By no means hate yourself for letting him go peacefully, its not you being a murderer  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Maddiesmum on April 08, 2009, 18:34:35 PM
I am so sorry that you find yourself in this heartbreaking decision.  Some advice is better a day too early than a day too late.  I would not want to advise you either way but think you have to consider your cat's wellbeing.  You say he is struggling to breathe, that can't be pleasant.  Maybe keep him with you for a few more days, until Saturday and give him all the love, time and attention that you can. See how he is then and make your decision. Unless, of course, he deteriorates further,  He does need to eat though as this can affect other parts of his body and if he has no fluids he will dehydrade.  We are all here for you so don't feel alone :)  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: swampmaxmum on April 08, 2009, 19:22:50 PM
I'm so sorry that things are the way they are. I hope that you can find some way to think clearly when you are so upset and please don't let yourself be pressurised into doing anything that you don't feel is right. My vet said to me that you must be able to look back and be sure that what you did was right, no regrets. We are all here for you to support you and listen. Only you know how bad your little one is though. The vet who has the doom and gloom prognosis doesn't seem to think he is suffering very much so it sounds as if you may have the time to make your decision. I'm sure he would have said if he thought you should make it immediately. What I would say is I echo the others on here who say treasure every moment you still have with him :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Janeyk on April 08, 2009, 20:50:35 PM
My heart goes out you right now having recently been in the same position it is very difficult somtimes knowing when the time is right.  People often say you will know but sometimes you just don't.  If the cat is in discomfort and nothing can be done then maybe the kindest thing is let go.  All I can really advise is to go with what the vet you trust says and your own gut feelings  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on April 08, 2009, 20:50:48 PM
It really hurts me so much on a thread like this and makes me think of my Kocka  :'(

She lived mostly on ad for the last year or more of her life and now I know so much more than I did then.

Try letting your cat............please tell us his name.....................eat the ad off your finger in little bits, I used to crawl around after Kocka and it could take all day to get small amounts of ad into her.

I think that if your cat is not able to eat ad , which is a highly tasty and smelly food for sick cats , then I am so sad to say but he cannot live without food and his liver will shut down and then the rest of his body. I know this cos of Franta who was very ill in Feb and he would not eat initially and my vet was so concerned about his liver.

My heart is with you and I send lots of good wishes for your cat and a gentle stroke and you know that we all thinking about you both and are here for you  :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Debsymiller (Rufus' mum) on April 08, 2009, 21:14:36 PM
So so sad to hear about this. What a difficult time for you both.  :hug: Having been there myself and struggling for 2 years with my poorly Layla we eventually had to make the decision that it was time and although I suffered all sorts of guilt/what if moments ultimately I know she is now at peace and not struggling everyday anymore. We were lucky enough to have a vet who really supported us and agreed it was the right time. It is better to have a happy yet short life than a hard long one. I know whatever you decide it will be what's best for your boy and he will know how much you love and care for him.  :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 08, 2009, 21:15:20 PM
hi gill,

thanks for telling me that, i have been home since 5ish trying to get ad down him he is called milo and i cant get it down him, i have a syringe the vet gave me and nothing, he is so strong willed and then i was feeling bad as i could feel his heart beating really fast and then his breathing was getting worse, i have a huge migraine now not that i am bothered i am just so stressed out , esp as when i go into the kitchen he is screaming for food and keeps going to his biscuit box under the stairs i feel really nasty, i am offering him his food, his biscuits my food but he cant smell anything but he is ravenous, i will try the finger thing thing now, thank you ever so much xxxx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: dabs on April 08, 2009, 21:18:30 PM
Tan as someone who has had to make a decision like this three times in as many weeks with one of my own and two little foster sisters Perdy and Nicky, I know that it is not an easy choice to make. But really sick cats can perk up for a while, use the scratch post, ask for a cuddle and so on and not one of us has not been there and thought "Am I doing the right thing?" I think deep down sweetheart you know what has to be done but you want someone to make that decision for you and say "go and do it", which of course we can't.

Only you can make that choice and what has not helped is the awful process you have had to go thru with your insurers.

If he has now stopped eating then he has probably made that choice for you. As has been mentioned before in this thread there is a "Look" that the cat gives you that says "I'm tired, let me go". This is the final act of love that you can give what is clearly a well loved and cherished pet.

You can mix the A/D into a paste with water and syringe feed him. Wrap him in a towel and pop the syringe in the side of his mouth and gently depress the plunger. Give him time to swallow though and don't rush the process. By not getting him to eat you are hastening the process and giving him steriods will make him hungry but stress him because he cannot eat. If as you say it is because he cannot smell it try warmed pilchards as they give off a strong smell and may prompt him to try some.

Whatever you do, don't prolong his suffering, because you will beat yourself up more over that than if you let him go early. I live by the maxim of rather a day too early than a day too late.

If it is a tumour then he will have to go at some time, sweetie please just do not let him suffer. Whatever you decide we are all with you and we have all had to make one of the toughest choices in the world.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 08, 2009, 21:48:42 PM
hiya dabs thanks for your advice,

my vet said that he had gone past the radiotherapy stage and there was nothing that i could do, its heartbreaking to see him pining for food as he had a steroid injection he cant smell a thing and i have tried the sardines etc but nothing, i have watered the ad down but he is a very strong and determined cat, it took 6 nurses to feed him when he had to be hospitise and when my vet gives him a blood text he has to be sedated, that is why my vet wouldnt do chemo

so that is when i tried the other vet for the chemo pills , but he thinks that it could be a cold as he has sufferd from them all his life every 3 months, but i think my vet is right as he has known him for longer and when he had a cold it was only slight and he never had noce bleeds or loss of apetite, like he is doing now i was just a anxious cat worrier and use to take him to the vet as i hate to see a animal ill or in pain, which is why its killing me watching him now hungry and i can hear him breathing over the tv, but it upsets me even more of the other option, if i didnt have the other vet in my ear saying give him 10 days and see what happens, then i would be more sure, i know i wont sleep tonight, also my i have 2 other cats and they all used to get on like a house on fire and since his become realy ill they are picking on him - is it cause the cats can see that he is ill???? i know with babies a mum will roll on a ill kitten or am i thinking wrong there xxxx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: dabs on April 08, 2009, 22:05:21 PM
Tan, you are right if the others are picking on him they see him as weak, this is another sign I am afraid.

He will be stressing by now as the steroids will be telling him to eat and he can't. This will be upsetting him as well.

The other vet says 10 days, but that it only if there are signs of improvment and he continues to improve but if he is clearly hungry but can't eat then I am afraid you and him do not have time on your side.  Little Perdy my resuce was give steroids on the Saturday to make her eat, she had a great day on the Sunday but on the Monday was desperate to eat but could not. She became very stressed and it was heartbreaking to see. As the vet said when I took her in on the Monday, "If we are not careful we will fall into a trap of trying to keep this cat alive when quite clearly the odds are against her. We can only keep propping her up to keep her going for a matter of weeks, would it be right to prolong her suffering?"

I hate to say it sweetie, but I think you are in that trap.

Being the Easter break as well means that the vets are closed Friday and Monday, what if he starts to decline Saturday night then you need to think about an on call vet who does not know him.

As I think has already been mentioned here, for your sake and his you really need to make a choice tonight for both of you and I know that it is not easy.  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on April 09, 2009, 00:20:42 AM
I would hate to make you feel under pressure but from what you are saying about Milo, I do agree with Dabs.

If he is so hungry that he is screaming for food and his tummy is rumbling then you must ask yourself if what you are doing is right for him.

I think your original vet knows Milo the best and is right. I do not believe Milo will make it through the weekend if he does not eat or drink and starvation is painful and the stress Milo is suffering must be severe. So do not believe this is quality of life for him............do you in your heart  :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

I so wish we could turn the clock back for the little man but sadly this is not possible......it maybe could be that the tumour has grown and that he cannot swallow properly cos his breathing is so bad.

Thinking of you and Milo tonight  :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: MrsR on April 09, 2009, 00:23:07 AM
Sending you both all the strength you need.

So sorry I cannot give you any helpful advice but just so upset for you as was in this situation not so long ago.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: bunglycat on April 09, 2009, 01:17:06 AM
So sorry to hear all this Tan ,
Not sure what to say -so will be sending lots of  :hug: :hug: :hug: to you and Milo and will be thinking of you tonight and tomorrow till i log on again.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: bonnielass on April 09, 2009, 07:45:11 AM
How is Milo this morning ? have you managed to get him to eat anything yet,im thinking of you at this difficult time and praying for you both :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Desley (booktigger) on April 09, 2009, 07:57:32 AM
I am sorry to hear this, but his eating is a priority, and if you cant' get him to eat, then he has no quality of life. Have you tried heating his food up to help him smell it? A/d can either be heated, or mixed with hot water, it is very stinky then. Good luck.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 08:00:32 AM
hi
i woke up this morning, and he was downstairs which is unlike him as well ,as he always sleeps under my arm, his eyes are running and his third eyelids are up and his breathing etc i would say the same, but still he wont eat, he didnt even bother miawing for his food as i think he knows he wouldnt like smell it anyway, he just looks a small figure of himself and just hudled in the corner, sleeping,
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Desley (booktigger) on April 09, 2009, 08:01:13 AM
I think that is your sign Tan.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Mark on April 09, 2009, 08:12:10 AM
I agree Tan - I think you know this too   :'(  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Janeyk on April 09, 2009, 08:13:19 AM
 :hug: :hug: Tan
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: scattycat on April 09, 2009, 08:59:21 AM
Tan - I agree with the others Milo I think is giving you the signs that it's his time to go.

Please think about doing it with the vet you know rather than have to do an on-call vet - we had that happen with the first cat we had to have PTS, and it wasnt that nice, the 2nd one it was with a vet we knew and trusted and the whole thing was dealt with much better, and helped us a lot more.

We're all thinking of you Tan, but I think it's the time to take him to the vet for the last time today  :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: moira on April 09, 2009, 09:16:34 AM
So terribly sad reading this, for you as well as for Milo. I think the time has come. Is there any chance your vet could come to you so that Milo can go peacefully at home?
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: MrsR on April 09, 2009, 09:19:11 AM
Quote from: Desley (booktigger) on April 09, 2009, 08:01:13 AM
I think that is your sign Tan.

I think so too sweetie  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: dabs on April 09, 2009, 09:37:52 AM
Oh Tan :hug: My heart pulls for you it really does.

I am going to take the bull by the horns here. As I said in my first post you know it needs to be done but I feel that you want someone to make that choice for you.

I am taking a risk and may be shot down in flames for it, but from what you describe Milo is now suffering, it needs to end. If he is not interested in food that is not because he cannot smell it, it is because something is wrong. He would still make the effort from the steriods. The fact that he has taken himelf away from you is another sign and being huddled like this is bad as well.

All the signs are there sweetheart, he is asking you to help him, please take him to the vets today and do that final act of kindness. 
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Millies mum on April 09, 2009, 10:04:41 AM
I'm so sorry for all of your heartache and poor Milo's illness. :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 10:10:53 AM
i was going to do it, but then i rung the over vet to let him know my decison and the lady as well that put me in contact and explained the symtons and how i didnt think it could be a cold and what my vet had said and they said i should hang on to tuesday and maybe take him in and have him dripped fed, which i know he hated last time or just go with the ad and force it down him and he is probably depressed as he has a cold, god i am so confused
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Yvonne on April 09, 2009, 10:15:06 AM
You know Milo better than anybody - I am thinking of you constantly    :hug:

Take care   :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Maddiesmum on April 09, 2009, 10:17:45 AM
Oh you poor thing.  Why would any vet want to ask you to let a cat in the state Milo is in wait until Tuesday?  I think I have to agree with what the others have said (I am so so sorry to say it) that Milo is giving you all the signs that he is not happy, not having any quality of life and in his way, asking you to help him.  If you can, ask your regular vet to come to your home so as not to stress him but if not Tan you have to take your courage in your hands and make the decision.  Is there anyone who can go with you?  Best of luck and I am so so sorry :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 10:20:39 AM
no i have to go on my own as my family have more important things in there life and my feriends say its just a cat and get over it, i had so made up my mind this morning, but when you have 2 other people begging me to give him a chance and wait til tuesday it makes me think different, i dont know what to do
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: dabs on April 09, 2009, 10:21:36 AM
Tan

Who is this lady that your are taking advice from? Is she a vet/vet nurse?

Only you make that call. Personally I would take him the vets today and seek his advice, this being the vet that knows him best.

Why stress him out to be admitted and then drip fed, or further more force feed him and stress him again.

How well does this woman and this other vet know your cat? Better than you and you regular vet?

Sorry hun but in one of you posts you stated that the other vet and this woman told you that by PTS it would be murder. What a horrible thing to say to someone who clearly cares for her cat and is battling with what decision to make.  :hug:

I am afraid that they are confusing you even more, what will happen on Tuesday when they say to keep him going a bit more, 'cause I have a horrible feeling that is what will happen.

Some people keep thier pet going regardless of the cost in terms of suffering to the pet and I hate to say it but she sounds like one of them, or am I being too judgmental here.  :-:

Tan, you need to make a choice here, but it is one that you need to live with Sweetie.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Janeyk on April 09, 2009, 10:23:30 AM
It is difficult for us here to diagnose and say what you should/shouldn't do and I really feel for you in this situation  :hug: if you have no-one there who you can talk to about this what I would do is see an emergency vet, which it is if you are so distraught.  I would then let the vet see your cat and you discuss with her/him.  That is what I would anyway, you will make yourself ill like this and your cat needs you calm  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: moira on April 09, 2009, 10:32:44 AM
I have uncomfortable vibes about someone who would say that to pts a suffering cat is 'murder' although I fully understand you wanting to clutch onto what seems a lifeline. We would all subject our cats to invasive treatments if the end result means better quality of life. However, if the end result is just to prolong suffering it just cant be right, its just torture, and I know you don't want that. I agree with Janeyk, perhaps you need a third opinion. It's just awful that your friends and family can't support you at this dreadful time. I really feel for you.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Ela on April 09, 2009, 10:38:53 AM
I do feel for you and know how difficult it is to make the decision to allow  a little one our final act of kindness. However, I feel it very unfair to wait until Tuesday if the little one is suffering and does not have a quality life. Also I don't like the idea of force feeding for such a long time, that in itself is in my opinion unkind and will cause distress.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 10:45:51 AM
the lady is a ex vet nurse and i brought a adult cat from her some years ago and have always kept in touch with pictures and telling her how she is doing etc, so when my cat was ill i rung her as my vet didnt know what was wrong with my cat when he had the bleeding nose and we did cat,flu the herpes test the fiv test and liver and kidney and cat anerexia and they all come back clear, so i rung her up and i asked for her advice and since then she has helped me and advised me - when my cat finally had a camera put through his nose and we got a inconclusive test but my vet was swaying towards more a tumour then a polyp he gave me steroids and said i would have about 3 to 4 weeks and that is when this lady said go to her vet and we will try these new chemo tablets and i am grateful as i had a extra 3 months tht i wouldnt of done if i had listened to my vets, so this lady thinks my vet gives up much to easily and esp as we dont know 100% if its a tumour, i have already spent 2000 and my money has rung out and what the vet is saying i need to pay for a cat scan but i dont have the money for it, so the lady that is helping me wants to try and keep my cat alive as long as possible while i am fighting petplan to pay out, which i got a letter today and said it would take 8-12 weeks, i dont think that time is on my hands - the lady also thinks that my cat is depresed and has a cold and that i need to just feed him ad every hour and use steaming inhallation to get the air ways clear, but i tried this last time and that he when he got the nose bleeds, and when he used to have colds they were so minor and he never lost his apetite like this, so that is why i am in a quandry as its not just some lady i see again its a lady that has helped and advised me the last 4 months and i have one of her cats as well, my head just spinning around at the minute
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 10:52:54 AM
when i say fighting petplan , i have made a complaint and i received a letter to say they would let me know the outcome in 8-12 weeks, not pay out in 8-12 weeks, my head is all over the place so sorry if i dont make sense sometimes
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Millies mum on April 09, 2009, 10:54:56 AM
You can't be expected to keep your cat alive for upto 12 weeks while Petplan are investigating your claim, what if he really he is suffering???
Surely if your cat does pass away or is pts Petplan will pay you the amount that is owed to you >:(
I think you have to think about what is best for your cat and make sure he is not suffering  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: scattycat on April 09, 2009, 11:02:30 AM
I have to agree with Dabs - I honestly think you need to make the decision today and let him go.

I can understand people wanting to try keep your cat alive for as long as possible, but they arent the cats mummy, the one that in the end is forcefeeding a cat which clearly doesnt like it - you have to think about how your relationship with the cat is compared to what it was when he was well.

I know we kept our first cat alive for longer than we should had, but it was the first time both of us had been in that situation, so the 2nd time around, we knew we had to help her sooner rather than later.

You clearly have spent a lot of money so far on Milo - and this may seem a harsh thing to say - but please do consider, if you say you'll leave it till Tuesday, which bear in mind is 5 days away - Milo may take a turn for the worse and you will have no choice but to have him PTS, probably at a vets practice you're not used to and with a vet you've never met. Please also bear in mind that if you have to use the emergency vet the bill for it is much higher than if you were to take him to the vets this afternoon. Our first cat cost us over £100 just to have her PTS as it was on a Sunday morning - I dont know whether vets charge more for Bank holidays but that is something to consider.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Maddiesmum on April 09, 2009, 11:05:53 AM
I think you need to talk honestly to your own vet, the one who did the tests.  I know it must be difficult when you are being pulled in both directions but, at the end of the day, it is Milo who is the important one and his needs that must be dealt with.  I think maybe you know deep down what you have to do but as we all do, are clutching at any straws that are being offered.  I wish I could be there to help you:)
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on April 09, 2009, 13:02:08 PM
Tan I am going to be a bit blunt here cos I think you really do need to stop listening to this woman..

Its almost unheard of on Purrs and actually I dont remember a single case before, where a number of people on Purrs have actually tried to give advice to an owner to send their cat to the Bridge.

We feel that its not our place to do this normally as we are not vets and do not know the cat, its a decision only the owner can make for their very best friend.

I am sure that you know that all of us have dearly loved cats and often more than one. Most of us have been in a situation of having to give the greatest gift of love to one or more of our cats.

I was so close to making this decision for Franta in February but I was so lucky cos two magnicant vets were able to save his life but he was not at the stage Milo was and as far as we know he does not have a tumour cos he responded to some very harsh abtibiotics that worked in his brain. This is quite an unusual case and know that others have hung some hopes that some similiar treatment would help their cats but sadly it will not.

Milo is at a stage by your description, that he is suffering terribly and has now given up and he is asking for your help in setting him free from the pain and the hunger. I have tears running down my face writing this but please let him go to the Bridge.  :hug: :hug: :hug:

Guilt is one of the phases of grieving and am sure that nearly everyone of us has had some guilt after letting our cats go, it maybe guilt cos we didnt do it soon enough or because we thought we were not able to help by getting better treatment or just from our lack of knowledge.

The pain that we have is cos we love someone so much but the greatest gift we can give our cats is trying to do the best for them when they are so very very ill and often our pain is their lack of pain and the freedom we give them to pass quickly and safely to The Rainbow Bridge. They will always leave their paws in our hearts and it will be painful for a very long time but you will get a message from them to say they have arrived and that they are free and playing again.

Please do not leave this any longer or you may have to deal with a much  worse scene than you now have and you will never forget what you have put Milo through  :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Pinkbear (Julie) on April 09, 2009, 13:07:42 PM
Good post, Gill.  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Liz on April 09, 2009, 13:46:55 PM
Quote from: Pinkbear (Julie) on April 09, 2009, 13:07:42 PM
Good post, Gill.  :hug:

Seconded on that

Put to sleep is the kindest thing you can do - we lost our Miss Gracie to a nasal tumour and its very distressing to watch

let him go, mourn him and you will always love him  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: clarenmax on April 09, 2009, 13:52:52 PM
Quote from: Pinkbear (Julie) on April 09, 2009, 13:07:42 PM
Good post, Gill.  :hug:

I agree, a very heartfelt post Gill  :hug: and echoes what many of the posters on this thread are thinking or saying at this stage.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls on April 09, 2009, 13:56:02 PM
Oh this is really hard but one thing I can say, its only you that can make this decission  :hug:

I have been here myself and wanting to know what I should do from others, but at the end of the day its myself who has to know what to do.

Only you see Milo, you see how he is and see how he is suffering and you also see his good days, so hard to make a decission I know.

If he is suffering I would say you know whats best.

Is so hard loosing a loved friend, but you have to do whats right for him  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Janeyk on April 09, 2009, 14:01:17 PM
Quote from: ccmacey on April 09, 2009, 13:56:02 PM
Oh this is really hard but one thing I can say, its only you that can make this decission  :hug:

Only you see Milo, you see how he is and see how he is suffering and you also see his good days, so hard to make a decission I know.


Totally agree, only the owner and the vet know the cat enough to make that decision that's why I hope and pray Tan will sort this out with her vet asap xx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: swampmaxmum on April 09, 2009, 14:08:42 PM
Tan, can you try to choose which vet you really trust and speak to him in detail about what is happening, or even better let him come and see Milo at home? It sounds very bad if Milo is hungry but unable to eat. I think if it was just a cold he would still eat a little  bit (from the steroids), even if his sense of smell wasn't good. If you want to try to get him to eat still, my vet always suggests sardines or pilchards in tomato sauce for patients that can't smell well and so aren't eating.

But your head is spinning because you've been told by one vet that it's his time and another vet to wait and see. Vets see a patient in the surgery setting and it's not the same as at home and it's a short assessment from a patient that can't tell them how he feels. So if possible, that is what I would do in your place - try to get the one you trust the most, who knows Milo, to come, or, if he can't come, to at least see Milo for a decent length of time. Then when he's been examined and you can talk it through with the vet, with all the information you can get, you can make the decision you feel is right for Milo as yes, what the others say is 100% right, only you can make the decision. I'm so sorry that you aren't getting family support as that makes everything so much harder.
My heart goes out to you.  I also think it's important that you get the vet today as the emergency vet could be very good, or may not be. Personally I would not want either of my little ones pts by a vet that I didn't know.
xxx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: dabs on April 09, 2009, 14:16:06 PM
Tan, some advice hun. Take youself off for a good walk this afternoon and think about it. Follow what your heart says that you have to do and do it. If you decide to keep him going and are prepared to watch him detoriate which is what he is starting to do, even further and face the very real prospect of him being PTS over the BH by a vet that you do not know, then that is a choice that you will have to live with.

Personally I would disregard everything that has been said on here and what the second vet and this woman who says she is an ex vet nurse, sorry to be cynical here, but do you know that as a fact, as no vet nurse would accuse another person of murder for putting a cat out of its misery and suffering. Put out of your head everything that has been said to date from whatever source, look into that cats eyes and make your own decision. That is the only way you are going to do it.

Where is this ex vet nurse, should she not be with you, helping you to feed Milo, instead of criticising you? Are you anywhere near the Derbyshire/Staffordshire/Leicester area's. I will come and help you, I will take you to the vets and support you thru it. I will see if it is possible to get food into him via some gentle syringe feeding. The offer is there is you need to the help and you are anywhere near me.

Not easy I know but what vet nurse in her right mind would want to leave a cat to suffer simply for the sake of scoring one up on an insurance company? You can fight that fight later, claim comp from them for what might have been treatable, but right now that cat is the main thing to sort.

I know that this sounds harsh but I feel that you are lsitening to this woman too much. Make your own decision, but it needs to be made today ideally.  :hug:

Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls on April 09, 2009, 14:45:59 PM
Quote from: dabs on April 09, 2009, 14:16:06 PM
Personally I would disregard everything that has been said on here

 :-: No we cant make this decision for her but we can try to help. She is feeling very confussed and is seeking the help of other cat lovers!

Sorry inappropriate, maybe
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Millies mum on April 09, 2009, 14:51:42 PM
I live in the Staffordshire area Tan if i can be of any help/shoulder to cry on  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 14:53:07 PM
hi everyone

thank you for the advice and yes i know she is a ex nurse as she has loads of cats herself and she treats her cats if she can and if not takes them to her vet who is 2 hours from her as he is so good, she is just very pasionate about me not putting him to sleep as she believes my cat may have a chance of living and that he may not have a tumour which we dont know as i cant afford the scan

i had nearly made my mind up to take him to the vets today and then all of a sudden the last hour his been on my bay window where the sun is and sunning himself , still not eating i hasten to add, but looking out the window and wacthing the birds, could that be a sign his getting better maybe xx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls on April 09, 2009, 15:12:07 PM
Have you tried warming his food, then feeding it too him? It may work, I hope it would.

About the scan all I can suggest is getting a loan, this is what I would do  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: moira on April 09, 2009, 15:13:01 PM
Tan I am in the Leicester area. I have PMd you
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 15:19:07 PM
i have tried to get a loan but i am always refused, i got into debt when i was young and stupid and didnt have a clue about money i did pay them off all 2 years ago, but find it hard to get a loan if i could i would , so whatever i earn after bills is for me and my cats, which is enough, and i was lucky that i had been saving as i was trying to learn to drive and save for a car, but as soon as he got ill i didnt hesitate to use my savings and i would do it again, but now the cupboard is bare and i am skint this month as i have been paying people to take me to the chemo vet and that was 100 for every 2 weeks, i am literaly living on beans and toast at the minute

i have tried sardines and been rubbing it around his mouth to lick it off, but he gets real distressed, i just told that ladie that maybe i should think about taking him to be pts and she cant understand why i would give up so easily i am so confused
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls on April 09, 2009, 15:22:04 PM
I agree a scan does need o be done first to determin whats really going on.

Could you not get help from family or friends?
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 15:27:12 PM
well no my family think he should of been pts in jan and what a waste of money and that i am a silly girl when i could of had that money saved and my friends say its just a cat, i even asked my ex but he wouldnt have any of it esp when him and the cat were really close to one another, i have tried all my options
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: dabs on April 09, 2009, 15:44:44 PM
Quote from: ccmacey on April 09, 2009, 14:45:59 PM
Quote from: dabs on April 09, 2009, 14:16:06 PM
Personally I would disregard everything that has been said on here

 :-: No we cant make this decision for her but we can try to help. She is feeling very confussed and is seeking the help of other cat lovers!

Sorry inappropriate, maybe

CC, I think you have misunderstood me. When I said disregard everthing that has been said on here, it was meant as in put it out of her head while she thought thru the options, in order to help her make a decision as she is the only one that can make that choice. I also in the same post put about disregarding all that has been said to her from what ever source in order for her to go off and make her own decision.  I do not think it was inappropriate at all, this is what needs to be done is that she takes herself off and has a think about what she feels needs to be done. Poor Tan is looking for advice and is getting conflicting advice from vets and vet nurses who think she is giving up to easily and are trying the guilt trip on her by calling her a murderer, we on the other hand are saying make the best choice for the cat and end, what appears to us by her posts, his suffering. Quite often the best way is to disregard all advice and make up your own mind. How many of us have received conflicting advice on any subject and have to put it all out of our heads and think about what we want?

Good luck Tan in whatever course of action you take, either way I hope it works out for you and Milo sweetie.

Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 15:48:29 PM
he just went and had a long drink of water from a bowl, no interest in food through, is that a good sign, the water xx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: dabs on April 09, 2009, 15:52:46 PM
Quote from: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 15:48:29 PM
he just went and had a long drink of water from a bowl, no interest in food through, is that a good sign, the water xx

Well, we know he can swallow then.  ;D The steroids will make him drink lots more as well. If he can swallow he can eat, what about some good meat based baby food warmed up and reduced even further by a tadge of warm water?
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 15:55:03 PM
well i give anything a try, i have tried so far all the wet food cat food and chiken and fish and sardines with the sauce and the ad and the royal canin recovery food and bits of my food and nothing, its like i am trying to put something horrible down his throat, he gets quite distraught
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Ela on April 09, 2009, 16:15:45 PM
Did your vet not suggest you feed with a/d? That can be fed via a syringe. Having said that if the little one is suffering I think you need to speak to the vets today. Please remember it is Easter and not all vets will be available. I think there has been some very sound advice posted, the trouble is sometimes we do try to clutch at straws and only take on board the information we hope to read. I am sure at one time or another many of us  have been guilty of that.

Take care.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 16:31:11 PM
hiya i have the ad and i am mixing it into a watery paste, but my cat gets so stressed, i am going to try and put him in a towel and see if i can do it that way in a minute as someone suggested on here, i am actually lucky, well i say lucky, but my vets is open on saturday til 1230 with my vet if the worst come to the worst, what do you think x
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Janeyk on April 09, 2009, 16:40:34 PM
My advice is simple and same as before really, if you are so unsure you need to be able to talk, talk, talk with your vet, ask what they would do.   The thing is I think you need to stick to one person you can trust who will get to know your cat, if I ring my vet up - who I've gone to for 20 yrs they know my cats and if I am unsure and ask her what she would do if it was her cat she will tell me honestly. 

I personally wouldn't waste time wondering any more I'd make an appt with the vet asap, let the vet see her and have a really good chat, that is what I would do I hope you will Tan  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 16:43:45 PM
hiya

i did do that yesterday and i asked him what he would do and he would say put him to sleep, but he said that in jan as well, he said i could take him home and see if the steroid injection would take effect and if no results take him in on saturday or tuesday,or do a call out if he become very agigated which he doesnt so as yet xx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: scattycat on April 09, 2009, 16:48:50 PM
I have to agree with Janeyk - I think you should strongly consider seeing the vet on Saturday.

Milo is the no.1 person here - I think you have to put yourself in his paws at this moment in time. He's not feeling very well, not his usual self, being taken to and from the vets for treatment he's clearly not happy to have, being asked to eat stuff which he clearly doesnt like, and could be soon wrapped up in a towel to have this food put in his mouth (which I dare say he'll struggle with you).

Do you really want his possible last days with you for him to remember you like that, or someone that will maybe just spend one more day with him, but not forcing nothing on him, spending time with him stroking him, brushing him, showing him love ... and then on Saturday say your goodbyes ... it is a very difficult decision, but I agree with most of the posters on here and your vet in that it is Milo's time to go ... just make his last day or so with you one he'll remember in a nice way.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Janeyk on April 09, 2009, 16:50:36 PM
Did you remind your vet what he said in January and that your cat is still here, is that what you mean? From what you say I would do just as your vet says unless your cat seems really poorly then I would take the cat now or ring them to come out.  I would never let the cat suffer, I was in a similar situation recently with my cat Schui who sadly didn't respond to steroids (he also had a suspected nasal tumour) so very similar case to yours.  We didn't know what to do for a few days either but there came a time when I couldn't wait for the next day to take him in, I just knew.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 09, 2009, 16:57:27 PM
I did indeed and he said that he was shocked that milo had lasted as long as he had, but now he didnt know what treatment to offer and he thinks we should say our goodbyes, there was a lady with a cat and she had the same diagonis as me in dec, asked how the cat was and the vet aid it had to be put in sleep in mid of jan and he was 5 as well and he had the proper expensive chemo with crystals i think my vet said,  i may be wrong but i remember it began with C xx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Ela on April 09, 2009, 18:03:55 PM
Quote
hiya i have the ad and i am mixing it into a watery paste, but my cat gets so stressed,

To be honest if that is the case although you will not like what I have to say but I think it really is time to contact the vet again and have another heart to heart and consider the final act of kindness. Tonight if possible.

Quote
but my vets is open on saturday til 1230 with my vet if the worst come to the worst, what do you think.

I think you have to ask yourself ‘do I really think that the little one should suffer for over another 40 hours or so’.  Sorry you have asked what we think, so there is no point in me lying.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: MrsR on April 09, 2009, 18:13:03 PM
I think tonight sweetie you should see the vet and let Milo go peacefully  :hug:   I know its hard and we will all be here for you.   
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Debsymiller (Rufus' mum) on April 09, 2009, 18:14:12 PM
Quote from: MrsR on April 09, 2009, 18:13:03 PM
I think tonight sweetie you should see the vet and let Milo go peacefully  :hug:   I know its hard and we will all be here for you.   
I echo these words, it is so hard but the kindest thing  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Ela on April 09, 2009, 18:18:36 PM
Wise words and Milo will be with all those little ones we have all loved and lost at Rainbow Bridge.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Millys Mum on April 09, 2009, 18:49:05 PM
 :'( This is awful to read, please let him go. I had to syringe feed Milly for a few days and she didnt fight me but was unhappy with it so i couldnt continue, she had a tube being put in under GA and i fought so hard to keep her strong for her biopsy results, i know how unfair it feels that despite all your efforts they arent getting better.  I had to let her go, i hated making that decision but my pain of missing her is nothing to what i would feel if i had left her too long.
Its not fair that his last days are spent fighting everything including you  :(

You cant save him by leaving him, a cat physically cant survive without eating, hepatic lipidosis will soon set in and dehydration, both make them feel sick  :(

Please be strong for him  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls on April 10, 2009, 00:58:35 AM
If he is suffering, I would say you know what to do. Maybe get a second opinion if your really that unsure, I understand you not wanting to let him go if its not needed  :hug:

I have been with my vets for 7 years and I think, although it would be absolutely heart breaking, if my vet suggested PTS I would have to go with their decision.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Stuart on April 10, 2009, 01:59:03 AM
so much has been said in this post, I'm confused too

Please Tan, You know Milo better than anyone else, Deep down You must know if He is really unwell and unhappy
If you are so unsure what to do, please,Please take Milo to a Trusted Vet, and do what they advise
for Milo's sake and your's
 :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: MooCat on April 10, 2009, 03:36:00 AM
 This is exactly what i went thro with my beautifull boy Ernie , i found it so hard to let go
and probably kept going for longer than he wanted me to , hand feeding and giving him
too many pills.
 Once the nasal bleeding starts its only a matter of time before the tumour grows thro into
the other nostril and they are struggling for breath , unless theres a definite course of
action suggested by the vet (surgery and chemo) then im sorry to say theres only one
kind thing to do.
 
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Maddiesmum on April 10, 2009, 09:02:29 AM
How are things today with Milo?  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Maddiesmum on April 10, 2009, 11:50:49 AM
No news!  I, and I am sure, you, too, have been worrying about this little cat,.  I hope we get an update soon
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: MrsR on April 10, 2009, 11:52:44 AM
I know I keep checking the thread for news
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Janeyk on April 10, 2009, 13:15:56 PM
Me too  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: dabs on April 10, 2009, 13:26:32 PM
I can't help but wonder if something has happened to wee Milo. :(
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: MrsR on April 10, 2009, 13:35:10 PM
What I keep thinking dabs
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: dabs on April 10, 2009, 16:41:47 PM
"Drums fingers on desk while waiting for an update!" :innocent:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Bazsmum on April 10, 2009, 17:52:59 PM
I keep lurking on this thread... :shify: I cant comment as I will only add to the general echo of the advice but as we all know it has to be Tan to decide the way to go.....

Please dont hide away Tan....we need to know that your okay and that Milo is happy!  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Ela on April 10, 2009, 18:20:09 PM
Quote
Please dont hide away Tan....we need to know that your okay and that Milo is happy!


Wise words and you are quite right.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on April 10, 2009, 18:24:47 PM
just come on purrs today and this is the first place i have come and was hoping to see an update.

please let us know whai happening tan  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: MrsR on April 11, 2009, 09:54:01 AM
Still nothing?  :'(
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Maddiesmum on April 11, 2009, 09:56:38 AM
I hope everything is all right with the two of them, please Tan if you are reading this, let us have an update to at least know you are ok :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: dabs on April 11, 2009, 10:04:29 AM
I was awake at stupid o' clock this morning worrying about Tan and Milo.  :tired:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Tiggerman on April 11, 2009, 20:02:15 PM
Anyone got any idea whats happening?
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: dabs on April 11, 2009, 21:16:49 PM
Ok folks. Sad news. Tan has emailed me asking that I post on her behalf.

Milo sadly had to be PTS earlier this evening. I understand that he perked up slightly but then went down rapidly to such an extent that Milo had made the choice for her I am afraid. 

Tan was not prepared for what happens on the vets table at the moment of passing such as muscle tremors, loss of bladder and bowel control etc and this distressed her more.

Tan is understandably very upset and tearful, but I am sure that she is aware that out thoughts and blessings are with her at this time.

RIP Milo

Love and best wishes to Tan at this sad time.

Deb
Xx

Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: scattycat on April 11, 2009, 21:25:34 PM
Dabs - that's such sad news, though thank you for updating us as I know we all kinda wondered whether something had happened as there had been no posts from Tan.

My thoughts are with you Tan.

RIP little fella -  :RIP: I know 2 of my cats will be there waiting to play with you
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Sheli_80 on April 11, 2009, 21:35:54 PM
So sorry to hear about poor Milo.  :hug:Tan

RIP Milo.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Janeyk on April 11, 2009, 21:40:04 PM
So sorry Tan  :'( you did the kindest thing, it is hard to do but Milo is now free from pain  :hug:

Godbless sweet Milo xx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Desley (booktigger) on April 11, 2009, 22:08:36 PM
RIP little one, free from pain and suffering now.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Pinkbear (Julie) on April 11, 2009, 22:19:36 PM
Goodnight sweet Milo... free at last.  :hug: :hug:  :Luv:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Stuart on April 11, 2009, 22:29:13 PM
Oh Tan, I'm So so Sorry  :'( It is a Bad enough experiance to have to go through without unexpected things happening as well, It must have been Terrible for you  :hug:
But Please take piece of Mind that your Beloved Milo is now safe at the Bridge and Forever free from pain, You had the courage to carry out the final kindness :hug:
In the time he that He was here, you gave Him all the Love and everything that He could ever have Wished for, You Did your Best  :hug: :hug: :hug:

:RIP: Milo

I don't know about anyone else (and aside from My own Loss recently) This year so far, there has been Far too Many sad Post's  :'( :'( :'(

For all those Who have lost thier Furbabe this year

If Tears Could Make a Staircase

We do not need a special day To bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you Are very hard to find.

Each morning when we awake, We know that you are gone.
And no one knows the heartache As we try to carry on.

Our hearts still ache with sadness And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you No one will ever know.

Our thoughts are always with you, Your place no one can fill.
In life we loved you dearly; In death we love you still.

There will always be a heartache, And often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory Of the days when you were here.

If tears could make a staircase, And heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk the path to heaven And bring you home again.

We hold you close within our hearts; And there you will remain,
To walk with us throughout our lives Until we meet again.

Our Family chain is broken now, And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one, The chain will link again.

:grouphug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls on April 11, 2009, 22:42:42 PM
So sorry Tan  :hug:

RIP Little man, free from pain xxx

Hope you catch loads of butterflys and have fun up at RB  :(
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Bazsmum on April 11, 2009, 23:12:03 PM
So sorry to hear the sad news  :hug: :hug: :hug:

RIP Sweet Milo x
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: bonnielass on April 11, 2009, 23:12:30 PM
So sorry to hear about Milo, but you did the best thing releasing him from pain and now hes running free and well on the bridge, :hug: :hug:      R.I.P. Milo no more pain sweetheart :Luv:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Susanne (urbantigers) on April 11, 2009, 23:13:16 PM
RIP Milo.  Play hard at the bridge. 
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Debsymiller (Rufus' mum) on April 12, 2009, 00:25:02 AM
RIP Milo- play hard at the bridge, completely healed  :hug:
Tan, I so understand what you're going through having had to do the same with my little Princess Layla but in time you will know how much your kindness was a blessing to him. If you need to talk please do PM me as someone who really does know what you're going through  :hug: :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: MrsR on April 12, 2009, 08:42:33 AM
RIP Milo play hard hunnie x  :hug:

I am so sorry Tan but we are all here for you x
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Christine (Blip) on April 12, 2009, 09:46:16 AM
I am so sorry for your loss, Tan.  You gave Milo the greatest gift by sparing him from suffering.  My thoughts are with you.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Yvonne on April 12, 2009, 09:53:14 AM
The bridge babes looked around their garden and found an empty place,
Then they looked down upon this earth and saw your loving face,
they put their paws around you and lifted you to rest,
their garden must be beautiful;  because they always takes the best.

They knew that you were suffering;
they knew you were in pain,
And knew that you would never get well on earth again,
they saw your path was difficult;  and closed your tired eyes. 
Then whispered to you "Peace be Thine" and gave you wings to fly.

It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you the day the Bridge called you home.



 :RIP:   Milo


 :candle:    :candle:    :candle:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Stuart on April 12, 2009, 10:25:05 AM
Beautiful poem Yvonne  :'(
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Kirst on April 12, 2009, 10:25:41 AM
RIP sweet Milo , play hard at the bridge!
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Maddiesmum on April 12, 2009, 10:30:35 AM
I am so sorry to hear this news.  I hope you are ok Tan and am sad you had to face it physically alone.  Please know that we are all here for you when you feel ready to come back.  You did the bravest and most unselfish thing by helping Milo to the Bridge.  He will be up there with all our other bridge babies smiling down on his mummy and watching over you forever.  He has taken a little piece of your heart with him and will keep it by him always.  God bless you for having the strength RIP Milo, free from pain :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Ela on April 12, 2009, 10:33:03 AM
I am so sorry but know it was for the best.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Millys Mum on April 12, 2009, 17:51:22 PM
 :hug: for you Tan, sorry you had to go through such an experience  :( :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: clarenmax on April 12, 2009, 19:53:35 PM
I'm so sorry  Tan, sending you lots of  :hug: :hug: :hug:

We are all here for you when you are ready xxx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on April 13, 2009, 02:01:04 AM
I am so sorry to hear this sad news Tan but I am sure you did what was right for Milo  :hug: :hug:

We are all here for you when you are ready and watch for the Rainbow that Milo will send you to say he has arrived safely and is with all our friends up there on the Bridge.

It the hardest decision to make but the kindest for your little best friend whan they are suffering so much  :hug: :hug:

RIP Milo, never forgotten and a pawprint always in your slaves heart
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Sam (Fussy_Furball) on April 13, 2009, 12:28:53 PM
On Tan hun I'm so sorry I've only just caught up with this thread and my heart goes out to you.  It's hard enough having to say good bye to a furbabe but not being prepared makes it even harder  :hug:

I know there is nothing we can say to you to take the pain away at the moment but please know we are all here for you when you feel up to talking to us. Take care and take conformt from knowing the hardest decision you had to make was the kindest, selfless thing you could have done for Milo  :hug:

RIP Milo darling .... much loved and sorely missed by your mummy.  Play hard at the bridge little man you have left a big paw print on your mum's heart xxx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: sheryl on April 13, 2009, 15:31:02 PM
Thinking of you Tan - I am having connection problems at the moment but was thinking of you and Milo at the weekend, I am so sorry to read your sad news Hun - we are all here for you xxx 

RIP sweet Milo - play hard at the bridge sweetheart xxx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: moira on April 14, 2009, 09:17:06 AM
Have just caught up with this thread. So Sorry, Tan, that you had to go through this. We are all here for you.

RIP little man.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: swampmaxmum on April 14, 2009, 12:50:51 PM
I've just caught up with this very sad news too. I'm so sorry Tan  :hug: 
RIP little Milo. I'm sure he knew just how much you loved him Tan.
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: tan160581 on April 18, 2009, 07:13:21 AM
hi everyone

i am sorry that i havent been on earlier, but i needed some time for myself, having never been through something like that before, i know at the end of the day i did the right thing for milo but i wished it could of been alot later in his life then 5 years old, the look on his face still haunts me even now - his ashes arrived yesterday in a sleeping cat casket and he sits in the centre iof my living room, just like to thank everyone for there advice and wisdom and caring about me and milo at such a stressful time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: bonnielass on April 18, 2009, 07:46:02 AM
It is a stressful time as many on here can testify but it does ease with time and altho he had a short life im sure he knew how much you loved :Luv: and we are all still here for you :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: JackSpratt on April 18, 2009, 09:27:13 AM
Tan, life can make cruel decisions sometimes. Five is young and it is unfair that Milo had to go so early. I hope you're coping (alright is not a word I use at these times. I know I never am.) and please get in touch if you want to vent. :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: MrsR on April 18, 2009, 09:40:21 AM
Don't dont be a stranger sweetie as we are all here to help and support you through this, I know when I lost both my cats Purrs helped so much  :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Janeyk on April 18, 2009, 09:54:20 AM
  :grouphug: Purrs have been the dearest friends to me when I lost Schui they will be to you too xx
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Maddiesmum on April 18, 2009, 20:15:40 PM
 :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Yvonne on April 18, 2009, 20:48:02 PM
Tania it is good to hear from you - now please do not be a stranger

Good to hear that Milo is back home with you - take care    :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on April 19, 2009, 00:03:37 AM
So pleased to hear from you cos we worry about the slaves too  :hug: :hug:

I am pleased that Milo is back home with you and now its the time it takes to ease a bit of the pain, it takes a long time but we are here for you  :hug: :hug:
Title: Re: should i put my cat to sleep afternoon
Post by: Mollyrock on April 19, 2009, 00:11:45 AM
So sorry to read what you have been going through Tan. I can never find the right words at times like this but just wanted you to know that you & milo have been in my thoughts.
 :hug: :hug: :hug:
Take care hon x