Grumpy Boy- Is it just his nature?

[pandora]

Thanks for that.  I have done the hand under blanket thing.  He is ok with it but it's no thrill compared to the great outdoors.  This way it feels- especially after just losing my beloved Lenny three weeks ago- a bit empty around here.  I am fostering a little semi blind cat at the moment-six months old- and Theo has shown some more interest in him, playing with paws and watching him being a true toy freak.  But the call of the wild wins-he even opens windows to get out.  So ginger boy is a roamer with loose attachements here. 

I know kittens -although at six months they are considered adults- are a gamble.  I can already see how different the little foster boy is at six months though.  Theo never had sucha spriteful nature.  he just seemed calm, unphased by things.  Now not interested in us here too much.  I will put up with it of course and he can collect his meals here.  It's just a pity because he could have more comforts even.

At least he is not getting lost any more for three weeks.  Actually that changed him too.  Seemed more savvy after that.

[lilynmitz]

Hi Pandora.  I can understand how unappreciated and frustrated you feel.  I had an all action cat who admittedly was very loving when he was home, but I really missed him when he was out so much and could do nothing to persuade him to stay in.  Theo may interpret efforts to play with him as aggression also, and if he doesn't like toys, it's hard.  You could try the old "hand under the quilt" routine, but if it backfires that's the last time he'll sit on the quilt!  You could also try the laser pen, which if he enjoys it, would be something positive for him to do when home other than eat and sleep. 

At the very least, I think you should congratulate yourself for giving a loving caring home to a cat who might otherwise be difficult to rehome.  He may come round in later years, but at least this aspiring stray has someone to care for him.  I know it's not what you envisaged, but there are no guarantees when we bring a kitten home - some turn out to be nervous or resistant to contact whatever we do, or others end up with health complications.  It's always a gamble.  At least this boy is well looked after and free to live life on his terms - it could have worked out much worse for him.  Give yourself a pat on the back.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Yes he may change as he gets older but it sounds like it will only be on his terms.

Maybe he never learned how to play but that can be learnt too, da bird is good cos you are about 3 ft away. My first cat didnt seeem to know how to play and she was 10 but she learnt playing bed mice............hand under the duvet moving and she waould attack, then progreesed on to a Mr Fish which wwas a whiskers toy on a rod, football in the garden which ping pog balls and saw her palying with snail shells 

[pandora]

I thought that might be the answer and I am starting to resign just to feeding him (the only time he knows to be nicer) and to do the fleas and worms. He can come and go as he pleases, which sort of means he is home for about 15 minutes each day- although saying that, he is on a blanket behind me watching me type this right now...spooky...growling...

I searched myself for mistakes I might have made but he has not been treated differently to the other cats (who are all people orientated). The one thing he has never done much is play- even at six months, which I thought was strange.  He watches things roll by or flutter past but is not interested in chasing them (unlike my 10 years old-imagine).

To give him a bit of credit- all the growling does not lead to a fully blown vicious attack, drawing blood. However, there is always all roll of thunder in his throat- pretty quickly anyway.  Any chance age can settle that a bit?

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Some cats just dont like the same things as others.

While many love strokes and cuddles and are willing to be loved by us, some just dont like it and the more you try to make them be loved the more upset they become.

I think you have to accept what ever purrrrrsonality your vat has and if its a grumpy one, then thats how they like to be.

Maybe if you just let him do his own thing and he sees the others having d=fun enjoyimng strokes and playing with you, he may eventually decided that he would like more attention but to force attention on him, just may make him want to leave again.

I have 4 cats and each one is different...there is Sasa the semi feral who loves her creature comforts but is too scared to allow herself to be stroked, she does everything on her terms only and will run if I get too close.

Misa is a big cuddly looking boy , loves strokes but is not a lapcat and hates being picked up. Is scared of all other people.

Brothers Franta and Ducha are also different,  Franta is a lapcat and a cuddle monster who likes loads of attention but Ducha prefers his own company except at night when he sleeps with me and howls if he thinks I am leaving him in the middle of the night  Both love people.

[pandora]

I am getting more and more frustrated with my 1 1/2 years old ginger boy Theodore.  I have had him since he was 6 months old ( adopted from a rescue) and he has never been the  most loving of cats but his grumpiness seems to get worse as he is getting older.  Despite being neutered, he has an insatiable urge to be outside and basically only comes home for his meals and when it is raining too much. His urge to explore is so strong that he crawls the walls when I ever try to keep him in.  He also went missing for three weeks at some point but was eventually found just a couple of streets away where he had been living quite happily as a stray.

When he is home, I give him a stroke, his meal, treats- even warm pillows and blankets- basically all creature's comforts to make him feel relaxed.  In return, I get growled at, warned and eventually nipped and pawed and hissed at, telling me to get off.  He also jumped on my back once, attacking me for apparantly no reason.  He was recently checked by a vet, who got the same bad attitude from Theo as I get (I was glad to see) and was given a clean bill of health apart from a small eye injury which has now healed.  A different vet was treated the same, as have been visitors to the house and my son.

Does this mean I just simply have an ill tempered cat and have to put up with it forever?  I am by no means unfamiliar with cats, have two more and a foster who are all nice and I also work at a rescue as a volunteer and have seen all sorts of characters there.  Theo does not seem to mind the others much (just to eliminate that as a reason for the grumpiness) and it is not that his behaviour has suddenly changed.  I am just trying to figure out why he is so grumpy and I am kind of hoping that it will change in time (one vet seemed to think so).

Has anyone had a young grumpy cat who became nicer with age?  Do I have to resign to the fact that he was too young to see his temperament and I now have to put up with Mr Grumps? As I said, I am a bit upset by this constant growling despite him getting all the comforts.