What to do?

[JackSpratt]

Well done for taking Proot in at such a ripe old age - I know it would've put some people off. It sounds like you cared for him very much.

[Baggy]

they're all different aren't they? I miss Parsleys unique personality.
I'm so sorry about Proot. What happened?

Yes, when I was younger we had three cats, all sisters and they were all so different. One in particular, Cheeky (name says it all!) was incredibly engaging.

Again, the Proot was different to them all, they were very feisty cats but he was very amenable, very good at communicating and happy to be carted around and cuddled all day 
I think we will probably always miss him in some ways - I know I still miss Cheeky and she died 10 years ago!

The Proot was 14, and when we took him under our wing we started treating him for hyperthyroid and he was doing well until he suddenly developed chronic anaemia.  The vet couldn't find out why, and although he battled on for 3 weeks he started to develop other problems so we let him go.

[JackSpratt]

Thanks, Baggy.

As mentioned we do have four other absolutely gorgeous cats that share our home, but well, they're all different aren't they? I miss Parsleys unique personality.

I'm so sorry about Proot. What happened?

[Baggy]

I miss her a huge amount and worry that if she can see what's happening she'll think I've "moved on" and don't miss her anymore. Does that make sense?

It makes perfect sense to me!  We lost our cat a few weeks ago - Proot adopted us and I can't believe how quickly he won our hearts and became such a big part of our lives.  He only lived with us for 6 months but I can understand how you feel.

Think as CC says, you'll know when you're ready. 

I'd love another cat, but don't want to rush into things as at the moment I feel like I'd be trying to replace him - but I have started looking at all the beatiful cats on rescue sites and feel that he would understand and approve of us helping out another cat.

[JackSpratt]

Thanks, CC. 

[ccmacey]

If now is not the right time to get another you will know when it is.

[JackSpratt]

Yep, I have a tremendously supportive partner, thankfully. He's known Parsley longer than I have (her whole life, in fact. She was kind of his family cat.) so he knows how I feel.

Thanks for answering CC. You're probably right and I should wait.

[ccmacey]

Maybe you should wait till you start to get your head around things? I think your cats will be ok as they have got each other, but have you got anyone to talk things through with?

[JackSpratt]

PS are you going through the better to not love than loose phase?

I'm not sure. But reading your response made me cry because you're so right about not being able to replace her. I have four cats, five when I had Parsley and none of them are alike. She was such an utter character. These guys are absolutely great too and I worry about how they feel about it all.

Hmmm......I think I'm still pretty jumbled up emotionally about the situation.

[ccmacey]

I think that getting another cat/ kitten may make up for the loss that your cats are feeling, although only you will know how they are going to react to this. On the human side of things you will probably feel like your replacing Parsley but you will also feel good that you can give another cat a chance. When my Renie passed, Ted her brother was lost without her but we already had another kitten who was fairly new to the house and now they love each other to bits. I have had other cats since and don't feel like I have replaced her, cos I never could. You will always feel sad about her, the pain never goes away but it will ease and then you will be able to remember the good memories you had with her. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be hurting and she would like you to be able to love after her.

Remember she's not gone, she's just waiting for you on the other side. 

PS are you going through the better to not love than loose phase?

[JackSpratt]

Do I feel she wants a new friend? The majority of the time. Do I feel ready to open up my home to another cat so soon after losing Parsley? I'm not sure. I miss her a huge amount and worry that if she can see what's happening she'll think I've "moved on" and don't miss her anymore. Does that make sense? (It's still pretty hard to explain how I feel, I'm coping better than I was, but am still getting weepy from time to time.)

I'm so glad I've got these guys, and on the whole they're coping remarkably well with the loss that they've had. (Probably better than me, in all honesty!)

[ccmacey]

Ah thats sad Jack, I didnt know about your Parsley. Ive always found that if a new cat is coming to my home it has to be a kitten cos the cats wouldnt get on with an older 1. Do you feel your now ready to get another and that your other cats want a new friend?

[JackSpratt]

She's not really a kitten if I'm honest, she's around 5 or 6! Having said that Parsley was 15 and didn't act any older than her, which is why it was such a shock when she had the stroke and didn't make it.

[ccmacey]

Yeah maybe that would be better theres always older kittens looking for homes. 

[JackSpratt]

I think a kitten might be a bit too boisterous. I was considering getting another cat of around the same age as the youngest, but didn't want to upset the group dynamic.

[ccmacey]

Get another kitten. 

[JackSpratt]

Since we lost Parsley a month ago, my youngest cat has been pretty restless. She and Parsley used to play together a lot and despite our attempts to be as fun at playing, there's really no comparison to her, I think. My other cats have never been particularly interactive with each other when playing, so if she tries to get them to play they march off in a huff.

What's the best course of action?