will she forget??

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I have had the birmans just over a year now and only in the last couple of weeks has Misa stopped hissing at them.

Every thing isnt perfect but it seems that eventually all four have found a way to live in the same house. Sasa who is a tortie has been here with Misa over 18months now and I still cant touch her, I also wanted a lap cat and neither Misa or Sasa are. The only lapcat I have is Franta.

What problems do yours have, are they actuallly fighting and hurting each other?

I think a behaviourist is a great idea although some of their ideas are not always to ones like and sometimes badly affect the other cats and you.

If your cats are not fighting and its just looks, hisses or avoidance of each other, I would just be patient cos eventually it seems they find their own way of dealing with things, even if it is just avoiding the one they dont like.

[forever_missing_my_boys(Lisa)]

how long have u had the new cat for ?

i think u should try giving them more time they may never love each other or even like each other but in the end they will prob tolerate each other

when we got our molly 2 years ago she was a rescue cat and had spent all her life in one room with no other company we were told she had lived with and got on with a cat once before
it took ages n ages before she would even consider walking past one of our cats without hissing and trying to hit them , but within time slowey we saw small changes in her behavouir , she is a bit moody but she lives a peacful life with all our cats and dog and doesnt feel the need to hiss and hit out at them now however she does like her own space ! she has her very own chair and god help anyone who trys to  steal her chair lol and she likes her own space she dont like anyone in her face , shes quite happy to sleep eat and sit in the window in the sun she doesnt interact with the others while they are playing but she will eat with the others now , on the odd ocassion i sometimes catch the other cats trying to wind her up by tapping her on the back then running away lol and she doesnt like the dog sniffing her bum lol apart from that we are gald we gave her time because at least now she has a mum n dad who love her she has the run of the house .

[Dawn F]

my vets use Vicky Halls, I read her book yesterday but she seems to concentrate a lot on spraying which fortunately none of mine do (so maybe they aren't that unhappy???)  Tilly is in for her boosters tomorrow so I will mention the situation to the vet then and see what he thinks.  I just feel a bit guilty like I'm spoiling Amber's quality of life although hopefully she is happy in other ways (I've even found out that OH lets her in the bed under the duvet with her head I my pillow!!)

[Gillian Harvey]

 I am thinking if she goes go the cattery on her own and comes back after a couple of weeks it might be like a new start, we could reintroduce her to the other cats???

I think you could create more difficulties if you put Star in the cattery, its possible you could find that NONE of the cats accept her when she came back! which would be a shame if she's already ok with Tilly and Oscar. Its like Jack said, there can be persoanlity clashes between cats - and to us, there doesnt seem to be any rhyme or reason to it - although I'm sure they know why they don't like each other 

I think a behaviourist is a good idea - as you say, its worth a try.

[Ela]

My mum had the same thing. She told her local CP she wanted

Yes I remember, that was very wrong of them. We always tell people how it is. Even when she have the 'Those that must be obeyed type'

[Dawn F]

oh dear 12 years could be a problem!  trouble is once they knew we were taking two they put them into a pen together even though we asked them not too because we wanted to handle the introduction ourselves on one visit we saw a bit of hissing and said maybe we should take one of the other 8 which Amber had come in with and they said no she doesn't get on with any of them but to be honest I can't really see that, she loves Oscar and particularly Tilly, they lick each other!

[JackSpratt]

Cats can have personality clashes just like people. And a cats memory span is supposed to be proven to be around twelve years, so she certainly wouldn't forget much after two weeks!

It is a problem establishing whether cats in rescues are going to act differently in a home environment.

[Dawn F]

mmm, I am a bit cross about that aspect of it although I suppose it wasn't actually a lie because she gets on fine with Tilly and Oscar, she is a lovely girl with us too.  I'm thinking of getting a behaviourist in, I don't suppose it will make a difference but I'm willing to try anything

[Mark]

People often lie to us about the 'ways' of a cat.
[/quote]

My mum had the same thing. She told her local CP she wanted an older lapcap she could fuss and ended up with a lunatic tortie who has never sat still once and hates being petted.

[Dawn F]

not sure why I have said Amber is aggressive, I actually mean Star!  She is fine with out other two but a look comes over her when she sees Amber oh calls it a vivien leigh moment!  She is lovely with us and has had a tough life I really don't want her to go back to the rspca and will do whatever I can to help the situation but I know sometimes it just doesn't work.  I am thinking if she goes go the cattery on her own and comes back after a couple of weeks it might be like a new start, we could reintroduce her to the other cats???

[Ela]

Star was actually advertised as good with other cats which is why we got her!

People often lie to us about the 'ways' of a cat.

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

Yes - Jaffa and Magpie were a bit like that.  Although they got on fine at home when at the cattery Magpie would get very territorial and hiss at the other cats.  That frightened Jaffa who thought he was the one being hissed at.  One time they actually separated them but usually the benefits of them being together outweighed the bad stuff.  With Jaffa and Mosi I actually had them put into separate pens to begin with and left instructions for them to be put in together for some of the time each day.  I was worried that Mosi would be too much for Jaffa in a small, confined space so was surprised when I went to collect them and was told they'd been in together all the time from day 2 as they were getting on great and Jaffa was more relaxed around the staff when Mosi was there.

[Dawn F]

I was actually thinking of putting Star in the cattery as Amber is the aggressive one.   I have tried rescue remedy and feliway.  We keep them separate and night and when we go out.  Amber came from a house of 8 cats, I'm not sure if she has always been a victim type of cat.  Star was actually advertised as good with other cats which is why we got her!

[Ela]

But putting them both in a cattery might help

I am not saying that would not work but in all honesty we have on many occasions taken in pairs of cats from the same household that got on, but once in the pens all hell has let loose and they have  been fighting each other, some have been so bad we have to split them. I suppose the small space has a lot to do with it. Others have just curled up together but these have usually been timid cats who want to make themselves as small as possible until they get to know us.

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

I cannot see that putting Amber in a cattery for a couple of weeks will do any good. In fact quite possibly make things worse as Amber will then smell like the cattery and not your home.

But putting them both in a cattery might help    Neutral territory and all that.  When Jaffa and Mosi were in the cattery together over xmas it was definitely a bonding experience for them.  Admittedly they were always ok together if not best buddies but they spent their time there cuddled up together and being very lovey dovey which surprised me.

[Ela]

Try some Rescue Remedy in the drinking water.

I cannot see that putting Amber in a cattery for a couple of weeks will do any good. In fact quite possibly make things worse as Amber will then smell like the cattery and not your home.

[Dawn F]

I've been at home sick the last few days and have really seen the extent of Star's hate for Amber.  She glares at her when ever she can and even chased her a couple of times.  What are the chances that if we sent her to a cattery for a couple of weeks she would forget she hated her.  sorry if this sounds stupid but I really don't want to have to rehome her because I am obligated to give her back to the rspca which I don't want to do.  What do people think has anyone else had a similar problem