Help - Will my two boys ever get on??

[Desley (booktigger)]

Can't remember how I know that though Gill!!

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Really Des, I didnt know that.

[Desley (booktigger)]

Feliway can take up to a month to work, so it isn't always a quick fix.

[berties mum]

Oh dear, poor old Ralphie!  You can just never tell how these things will go ... someone lower down in the thread mentioned that two females together is meant to be difficult, but in fact all the problems in our house come from the relationship between Bertie and our newcomer Minnie, while Minnie and Bella have never had a moment's problem with each other.  When I first had Bella, it took three weeks before Bertie stopped hissing at her, and like you, I hoped they would just "get on" even if they weren't friends.  Now they're all over each other like a rash, and Bertie is slowly warming to Minnie too.  I say just give it time, definitely try the cage, and don't worry too much.

[Ralph's mum (angie)]

Ralph has this toy called a wiggler - basically a long furry piece of material on a plastic stick, whenever we play with it he grabs it and runs off into a corner with it and sits meowing for ages. 

Max has that as well only minus the feathers now, but he still jumps up and draggs it away with him if its sitting on his scratch post

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I dont think you should exclude the current cats from their house cos think that will make it worse. The newbie should be kept in a room by himself and now his scent is all over the house anyway the other two will be able to smell him, so thats good.

Having him safe in a cage for a while where the others are may help cos they can see him and investigate but he is safe. Do not let him get distressed though, maybe put a blanket over part so he can hide and only do it for short periods. Always be there just in case of a problem.

Minor hissing is not a problem and when I first got Misa and Sasa they hissed and wopped but very gently and i could see there was no malice at all. Within a day they were mates. When the birmans came however Misas hissing took on new heights and sometimes he will go up to Franta and kiss him and other times its violent teeth bared hiss, especially if Franta gets on Misas desk.I know the birmans and the other two will never love each other but except for odd times and one getting into anothers patch, they all live together freely.

[jetcleo]

Thanks i hope so, it's really funny, Ralph has this toy called a wiggler - basically a long furry piece of material on a plastic stick, whenever we play with it he grabs it and runs off into a corner with it and sits meowing for ages.  A friend was telling me that was because of him being stray, it's like he was saying he got the food and it was his so everyone else should stay away!!!

[Ralph's mum (angie)]

Hope they  settle soon, probably asserting themselves to find out who will be the boss ( other than you ) 

[ccmacey]

I have 3 male cats and they all get on fine 

Maybe with him being a previous stray he is not too keen on other cats, he would of had to fight for food, females etc. I think once Ralph gets to know he's welcome things will change.

[jetcleo]

Thanks everyone, the Feliway doesn't seem to be working as yet.  Today as i've been outside i put Ralph in his large pet cage and took him outside with me.  He can't go out just yet with me just getting him.

Anyway Jet and Cleo both walked up to him (well closer than they ever have done before) and there were no hisses, swipes, growls or anything.  What a break through, will just persevere i think and hope they all can just "get on" if they can't be best buddies!!!!

[Gillian Harvey]

Thank you, will search.  Everyone i have spoken to so far have said i made a mistake getting tow toms as they wil never get on.  Jet gets on with other toms (neighhbours cats) who come in our garden.  I think Jet is probably just a bit miffed that Ralph gets the house and he has outside!!!

It can be difficult with 2 males, the only problems I've ever had have been with the males, never any prob with the girls! That said, lots of male cats get on really well together, but with others there can be clash of personalities and sometimes all that can be achieved is a mutual tolerance - rather than friendship.

I've been through this with Jasper, who came in March, and Harry who I've had since he was a kitten - always a dominant cat, so when Jasper came, he immediately saw Harry has a challenge - and it ended up in a horrendous fight before I could stop it - the worst that could happen really, BUT, since then there has been this kind of mutual understanding, that they don't like each other, but they don't feel the need to anything about it anymore!

Hopefully though, your two will get on better than this eventually, and as others have said, its still very early days, and the feliway may help a bit.

[Stuart]

Is the Feliway Working ??? It is Still early day's yet, I would give them Time. although Jet sounds as though He's very Territorial, He may
calm down a bit once he get's used to Ralgh being in His House, I remember I moved in with a girlfriend years ago and she had 3 cats of
her own, there was My 2 Boys "Hamish & Misty" and she had 1 boy "Monroe" and two Girls " Black Cat & Marlyn" everyone was Happy
Except Marlyn My partner told me that she had Monroe & Marlyn first and everything was fine, but when she took home Black Cat
that's when her tempermant changed and when my two came along the Sh+t Hit the fan "for a wee while anyway"in time she chilled
down and was a lovely cat " as long as there were no other Furbabes in the area " She would Hiss, Spit and Growl at any of the others
if they came near Her, But there were never any Fight's and thats the way it carried on for years, I'm smiling just recalling my
Partner and I shouting at the same time; " Oh Shut up Marlyn !! " when she was in one of her temper's. and My Misty " Mr Seagull Catcher "
ALSO used to chase Marlyn, I always thought he did it Just to wind her up

But As long as they arent Fighting, I would give them time

[jetcleo]

Thank you, i've got some Feliway somewhere, will try that

 

[sixfurballs]

I am going through something similar at mo in that I am trying to introduce 2 new cats to my existing 2. Lots of helpful people and tips on here. I also got a spray called Feliway and when I sprayed it in the house last night we got instant calm for about an hour. I also rubbed some of it around their faces as the people at Cats Protection League suggested this and it did seem to help.

good luck

[jetcleo]

Thats really helpful thanks ever so much , will go and have a read

[Susanne (urbantigers)]

A week is no time at all.  You need to take it slowly and give them time to get used to each other gradually.  There will be hissing - that's perfectly normal.  Jaffa still hisses at Mosi sometimes to show him who's boss and I've had Mosi nearly 18 months!

If you've not already read it, this link might help

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php?topic=4789.0

[jetcleo]

Thank you, will search.  Everyone i have spoken to so far have said i made a mistake getting tow toms as they wil never get on.  Jet gets on with other toms (neighhbours cats) who come in our garden.  I think Jet is probably just a bit miffed that Ralph gets the house and he has outside!!!

[Desley (booktigger)]

Two toms aren't normally a bad combination, two females are supposed to be the worst. You really need to do gradual introductions though, which involve keeping Ralph separate from your others until everyone is comfortable - if you do a search on here, it will give you some good articles.

[jetcleo]

I know i should probably just give it time but i am worried that Jet and Ralph will never get on.  As i've only had Ralph a week he's being kept in the house at the moment until he's used to me and the area, etc.  He has free run of the house.

Jet and Cleo are outside all day but have access to the shed (not got a cat flap on house door yet).  I like them to be in at night as Jet seems to attract all the other cats in the area for fights if he's left out!!!  So recently when i've tried to get Jet in he turns nasty with me.  When he gets in and sees Ralph he hisses, growls, etc.  The last couple of days when he is in and has wanted to go out he jumps off the bed and runs downstairs but Ralph follows him (CHASES HIM).  I've never seen Ralph growl or hiss at him, Ralphie has been a stray for a long time until the rescue took him in.  The rescue did say that if he doesn't get on with my two they would take him back but i really don't want to have to do that.

Do you think they will ever get on, i'm just worried about Jet he is a small timid tom cat anyway i don't want him to be scared and run away!!!

Any advice from anyone who has homed two toms together!!!!!!!!!!