Lost & Found Cats > Lost & Found General
Oliver missing - nearly 2 weeks now
Lesley Frankie:
Thank you Sue, it is very generous of you to take so much time to write what is possibly a difficult response. When my other cats died I cried every day ( not all day ) for 6 months and now , after nearly 11 years, I can think of them with a smile.
I have not abandoned hope that Ols will come home and I will always believe that he is alive and happy somewhere until I know for sure otherwise. He's a very competent and confident and strong-willed cat ( just try to stop him doing something he really wants to do!). If anyone can survive he can.
Thank you to you Sue and to all the others who have been so supportive.
Sue P (Paddysmum):
Oh Lesley. :hug: :hug:
I'll be frank.
This has happened to us twice, and I can only describe it as being a living hell. It's that combination of hope and false leads that create such an emotional rollercoaster. I got so bad after losing our second one that my OH moved out of the bedroom we shared for over a month because he couldn't cope with me crying myself to sleep every night.
I understand why the not knowing is having such a dreadful effect, because your imagination will always try to fill in the blanks, which is far from helpful.
I didn't really cope well for a long time. I think it was about 6 months after he disappeared that a sort of numb acceptance took over and I stopped looking. We ended up on so many wild goose chases with well meaning people reporting sightings of cats which, when we eventually did get to see them, were nothing like the photo we'd posted of our missing boy. I appreciated the fact people took time to get in touch, but each time it was a negative was soul destroying.
Over the years I managed to shut down the painful memories and to recall the best of the times I shared with our two missing babies.
When I think of Suki now, it's as our sleek little black and white huntress - feisty and independent one minute, and snuggling up with my Mum, who she adored, the next.
When I think of Flynn, all I see is his uniquely "smiley" little face beaming up at me - he used to love to spend time with me in the garden, and would come down the lane to meet me from the bus when I would come home from work. He would pull the most astonishing faces, like the time I showed him a giant earwig and told him to be careful in case it ate him. :evillaugh:
I know how very difficult it is, but I think each time your thoughts begin to wander into disastrous territory, you have to pull yourself up short, and replace the thought with one of a good memory of Ollie. It won't make things any less painful for now, but it will help to deter you from destroying yourself with "what-ifs."
I still hope that for you, Ollie will return home, but if it isn't to be, please know that there are many of us on Purrs who have stood where you are now, and who stand with you still, in friendship and with understanding. :grouphug:
Lesley Frankie:
hi again, since posting earlier this morning we went out again to the area of the last potential sighting and spoke to a lovely man in one of the only wineries there. Would you believe he has 3 black and white cats one which wears a red collar. So, it looks like that was a false lead although we always did think that it was way too far from home for it to be Ollie. However, now it had reignited my initial fear that he was trapped somewhere and after all this time he cannot have survived. I really don't believe that Ollie would have been chased away from his home and went so far as to be unable to find his way back. It is breaking my heart to think of him suffering alone like that but I need to face facts that he is gone. If anyone has had to deal with the same thing how in the world did you cope emotionally?
Lesley Frankie:
Thank you Sue. We are still putting up posters - we don't know what else to do anymore.
Ironically, our good friends who have done such a lot to help us search for Ollie have lost their little cat Freddy. He has not been seen since Sunday. They live in another village and fortunately they have been able to mobilise a small army of locals to search for him. It's likely that he has been shut in somewhere and hopefully the weekend will see sheds and garages being opened. They were reluctant to tell me until yesterday as they did not want to upset me. Normally I am quite positive about other people's lost cats but I must admit though that it has brought it all back to me and now I am again fearing the worst about Ollie and I'm doubting that either of the 2 'sightings' really were him. I'm even feeling doubtful about Freddy. Anyway, I really do appreciate the support from you and other forum members.
Sue P (Paddysmum):
Lesley, just wanted to say am thinking of you and your little family, and topping up the vibes that Oliver will still make it home safe and sound. :hug: :hug:
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