Kindey failure

[maddercow]

Sorry to hear about Jet. Please don't feel guilty, you have done nothing wrong at all, you just made a good but painful decision which made Jet's passing gentler and
more dignified than had you not made that decision. Kidney failure is not a nice thing for a cat to go through and you saved him alot of misery.

We have had to make the same decision twice in the last year with our elderly girls, Holly had CFS and  lasted a year on medication before her kidneys packed up completely.
Rosie just got old (18), frail and doddery and I think her kidneys were also on the way out, that was a hard decision but when it got too painful to watch her and she didn't want cuddles or strokes or food it was definitely the right time.

Your other cat will get over it faster than you will, in time you could maybe get another young rescue boy cat that she can boss around.  Of course you would not be replacing Jet, just giving another cat a happy home.

Helen's poem does sum it up very well. You will feel better with each day I am sure and remember... do not feel guilty, you are guilty of nothing worse than caring for your beloved boy and making a decision that was heartbreaking but totally the the right one. Jet will be thanking you for it I promise and he knows you did it because you love him, nobody who loves their cat would have done any different.

Jo

[poppycat]

Hi Jet

It does get easier. I lost my cat 10 days ago to cancer.  I didn't think I was going to have to her PTS - had taken her to a really advanced referral centre fully thinking she could be treated.  I was an absolute wreck when I realised there was no hope.

However, with each day I cry a little less and spend more time remembering all the good times.  Remember he will be rejuvenated, healthy, happy and full of life again.......... just as you would want him to be.

[Amanda (mad4moggies)]

I am so sorry to hear that poor Jet had to be put to sleep. I had to make the decision to have my own cat put to sleep a couple of months ago and i still think about him every single day.

There is a new website which you may find of some comfort. It is for owners who have had to say goodbye to their beloved friend.

www.theralphsite.com

[mervyn7451]

Jet,I am so sorry for your loss,Orbit had kidney & heart failure when he died at home.Little begger had to get the last word in & took the decision from me.Yes it does get easier but it takes time,I still talk to him when I go into the garden.

One of the things that helped me immensly was getting Daisy so soon after.She can't replace Orbit (who was my first pet) but she fills a void that he left.

[Yvonne]

So very sorry to hear this - take care

 

[MarleyMoo]

Oh no... I am so sorry.  xxxxxxx

[jetcleo]

Helen - that poem was amazing, it is totally what i think and feel & made me cry AGAIN!!!

Thank you x

[Tiggy's Mum]

So sorry to hear this    As devastating as it is, it sounds like you made the right decision for him 

I think poem sums it up...

The Greatest Gift

I always knew this time would come,
From the very instant our eyes first met.
How I loved you then! How I love you now!
I made a promise then, and I will keep that promise now...
You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal;
You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone.

It is for me alone to make this decision,
The price for the bright joy and pure laughter
You brought me during the time we shared.
I am the only one who can decide when it is time.
When my hope dies, and my fear rides high,
Just when I need you most, I must let you go.

It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready
For without your guidance, I will not know
When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger
My sorrow and my selfish heart aside
And give you this last gift, this greatest gift.
Your eyes will speak to mine, and I will know.

The pain of this moment is excruciating.
Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow.
And my heart drowns in a pool of grief.
For you have spoken and I have listened,
And unlike other decisions I have made
This one brings no relief...no comfort...no peace.

For if there´s one thing you´ve taught me,
If there´s only one thing I´ve learned...
Unconditional love has a condition after all,
I must be willing to let you go, when you speak to me
I must be willing to help you go, if you cannot go alone.
And I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.

Go easily now, go quickly now,
Do not linger here, it is time for you to leave.
Go find your strength, go find your youth.
Go find the ones who've gone before you.
You are free to leave me now, free to let your spirit soar
Rest easy now, your pain will soon be gone.

I pray I will find comfort in my memories...
In the dark and lonely days ahead.
I cannot say I will not miss you, I cannot say I will not cry.
For only my tears can heal my broken heart.
But, I promise you this; as long as I live,
You will live, alive in my mind, forever in my heart.

So I give you this last gift, all I have left to give,
And this will be my greatest gift...sending you away.
It is the measure of my unconditional love...
For only the greatest love can say,
"Good-bye, go find the bridge, we'll meet again,
Loving you has been the greatest gift of all."

Forever and Always... Until Rainbow bridge....

[jezebel]

Things will feel very raw at the moment - and will do so for a while I'm afraid. Guilt is quite normal (although I've never worked out why or what purpose it serves!) so don't be hard on yourself or expect to get over it in a couple of weeks. It takes as long as it takes.

When I lost my last cat Jones to lymphoma, my vet sent me a wonderful book about pet bereavement. Unfortunately I can't remember what it was called (and I've since passed it on to someone who lost their dog), but I'm sure if you have a look on Amazon there'll be loads of similar books. It won't kill the pain but it will help.

[jetcleo]

Thanks everyone, i'm a blubbering wreck at the moment - to see him fine on Friday to how he was saturday and yesterday morning was awful, he was very dehydrated despite drinking lots and was very unsteady on his back legs.

The vet gave us the option of medication and a diet but said she felt the damage was quite severe with how quick he'd gone downhill!!  She said there have been a lot of cats poisoned by drinking anti-freeze and knowing what Jet is like i think  this could be what happened.  I keep thinking should i have tried this option but i think i'd have been doing that for selfish reasons - he was clearly unwell.

He was my baby, i never thought i'd have children (until i met my hubby) so Jet was my baby and spoilt!!!

Angie i know what you mean i hate being in the house as i keep waiting for him to scratch at the door or leap onto the sofa.  Life just feels so cruel right now

[Angiew]

My goodness - talk about the past coming back to haunt me!

My beautiful black boy called Jet sadly went through the same thing in 1991. He'd gone a bit off colour over the weekend - nothing to serious but the next day was off his legs. We rushed him to the vets and he was put on drips etc and the vet said there was nothing that could be done for him. He was about 12 years old.

Talk about crying, ranting and raving - didn't want to go back to the house even though we had 2 more cats at home and we went on long drives just to keep away.
After five days of this we went to the local RSPCA shelter and adopted Fang and Pepsi (both now RIP). Our regret was not taking a third kitten with us that was there.

Fang soon warmed out hearts as the pretender to the throne, black but not leggy like Jet. He was also a totally different character and we spent quite a while telling him the standards we were expecting from him - poor Fang never lived up to it but made the title of black cat his own.
After Fang, we now have Goose and Titch sharing the title (Titch Taking the space of Goose's brother who was sadly killed on the road at a year old).

I still miss Jet, wish we'd tried harder but didn't want him suffering. We suspected poisoning and I now worry about some lillies I'd been given that year after a hospital visit - though I am vague as to dates and don't really think they co-incided.

The sadness and grief has to come out and it will get less though you will never forget.

I smile when I see my two black lads, knowing Jets legacy still lives on.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Its a devasting loss and I lost my special Napoleon on 10 May and JS is right maybe you just come to accept more in time. Its just such a terrible thing and I miss Napoleon so much and just dissolve into a puddle at the slightest thing 

Blue Cross also run a bereavement service which I used when Kocka my first cat went to the Bridge.....I couldnt talk but used to email them.

This time a lovely friend on Purrs has helped me a lot by letting me write things down when i  need and send them to her and she says all the right things, which I am not able to do.

You need to let your grief run its course which will probably be very bad for the first month and then slightly getting better.

I am so pleased you have another cat and I hope it gets over its grief quickly. I had two who were morning, one I think still is and he is Napoleons litter brother.

It helps to write down what you are thinking when ever you need to and we are all here on Purrs for you 

[JackSpratt]

I'm so terribly sorry.

Maybe easier isn't the right word. I think you start to accept what's happened more, but you'll never not miss Jet. That's not a bad thing though - when you remember the good times you had with him it won't always hurt. Eventually it will make you smile instead.

Look on the Feline Advisory Bureau site, I think there's an article about how to help a grieving cat.

[jetcleo]

We had to have Jet put to sleep yesterday, he was 10 years old.  He'd been so poorly on Saturday we took him to an emergency vet who confirmed kidney failure.  She gave us the decision of letting him go or keeping him on medication, regular blood checks, etc but as he'd gone down hill so fast she said he'd probably only got days if not weeks before he got chronic renal failure so we decided to let him go before he got in pain, etc

Can someone please tell me its gets easier i can't stop crying, i miss him so much and feel so guilty for making the decision.  My other cat misses him too she keeps walking in the room looking for him

The vet thinks that one of the reasons he deteriorated so quickly is he may have been poisoned, he went through so much in his life, had 2 tumours, a serious back problem, was shot and he survived all that only for this to happen