Cats don't like husband

[beowulf]

 

If all else fails try spraying your husband

i misread that!  for a second i thought it said 'try spaying your husband'!!!   


 

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

how are things going ... any update?

[emmmy_lou]

He can also try giving them 'slow blinks' whenever they allow him to be affectionate. Apparently it is cat speak for I love you 

I dont think it works with all cats, it doesn't for my Dexter or Evie, but if I do it to Denzel now (even from accross the room) she will come for some cuddles 

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

         If all else fails try spraying your husband with kookamunga catnip spray and make him lie on the floor ... they'll soon be all over him   
 
             

 

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

This link offer some good tips:

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,4793.0.html


I would also suggest your husband not only feeds them but he should also try and play with them.  I would suggest sitting on the floor and playing with something that lets them play without having to be touched by him ... a long piece of ribbon is usually a good toy. 

If all else fails try spraying your husband with kookamunga catnip spray and make him lie on the floor ... they'll soon be all over him 

[beowulf]

patience will work in the end,.......sit on the floor (so hubby brings himself closer to the cats level....dont tower over then) speak softly, use their names alot, rub sides of face/ears a lot, let them be inquisitive and come to him.............might take hours

works for me

as an aside.....my sister's first Yorkshire Terrier was abused when she got him.............previous owner was going thro a marriage breakdown and the husband was taking it out on the dog  . Ben was scared stiff of men, if i walked into the room he would hide under my sisters chair, make a loud noise and he would shake with fear, pick up a newspaper and he would be sick with fear 

i did similer to what i described above and six months later he was a different dog.....its all a case of gaining trust

[Jiji]

  How lovely of you to take these two on  I think you may be right about their previous owner in so much as if he had bonded with them how on earth could he leave them behind???, so maybe they are used to having little interaction with men. Hopefully trying the ideas that have been given and more time will do the trick. I would also recommend giving them a litter tray to use, not only can it's use and deposits provide useful information, but if they need to be kept indoors for any length of time they will already be used to having it available.

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

Good idea about the shoes.  Plus, sometimes cats feel less threatened by us when we're small - ie when we're sitting on the ground, or lying in bed.  Many cats find it easier to approach us then, as it's less intimidating. 

[Mymblesdaughter]

One of the things mine didn't like when we first fostered them was my husbands shoes. He is much noisier than me and men tend to have bigger feet and shoes. He would clomp around the house in his usual way and they didn't like it at all. They are much happier when he takes his shoes off. So could be worth a try with your two. They were much more my cats when we first got them and I think OH felt a bit left out. He made much more of an effort to give them treats and stroke them and they are fine with him now. Although they still pester me in the night and leave him alone, so he's got the best of both worlds.   

[Kay and Penny]

if they are used to coming to you, and sitting  on your lap or very close to you, you could try, daft though it sounds, swapping some clothing with OH in the evenings - sweater, tee  shirt, dressing gown etc - so your scents get mixed up - this might fool them

[mau]

Thanks so much for your reply, and v helpful tips.

I do tend to feed them more as my hours are more flexible, but they will let my husband know if their bowls are empty and don't tend to run away from him then! They don't have a litter tray and just come and go through the cat flap. I sometimes work from home so I've spent a bit more time with them and think this has helped them to feel more relaxed with me.

We really do feel very lucky to have them, they're lovely cats and make a very happy home, but it would help if they' didn't seem so scared of my husband. If he comes in, the cats go out. We'll try the flying frenzy toy trick you mentioned - I think you're right, it needs time and patience and lots of shows of affection. So, over to him!

They're called Sylvia and Gracie, and I have lots of pictures - will upload some so you can see them.

Thanks again for your tips. It's good to know it's not a lost cause and that they may come round.

[Sue P (Paddysmum)]

Hi Mau and welcome to the forum.

What a mixed blessing of an inheritance when you took on the flat, but well done to you for giving things a good try.

Who currently feeds the cats and cleans out the litter tray?  I would say that if it's you, then you need to abdicate these functions and let your husband be the one who gets those jobs.  The cats have to begin to associate him with the good things - the food, the home comforts.  It does sound as if they've had a bad experience with a man (possibly their former owner) or they're still upset about the changes generally. 

They need to be able to associate your husband with fun and treats.  I would also suggest maybe getting a flying frenzy toy (Purrs shop sells them) and instigating some play sessions.  Most cats will really enjoy these prey substitute fishing rod style toys, and its a great way of engaging their interest, especially if you can persuade your husband to really go for it when he plays with them - think about how prey would normally move, and try to mimic the fits and starts, or a bird in flight.  It's really important too that they get to "keep" their prey at some point in the play proceedings, or to get a reward once they've "killed" it.   Your husband may need to practice his technique, but if he starts small and sees how it goes, it could begin to get results within a relatively short period of time. 

Do you have piccies of the cats, and what are their names?

[mau]

I'm new to the forum - and a fairly new cat owner/slave - so hoping you can help with some advice.

My husband and I inherited two cats when we moved in to a new flat. The previous owner of the flat left them behind when he moved out. He had them since they were kittens and I think they're now about 8 so this was obviously very upsetting for them. It took them about two months to get used to us. Every time we came home they would shoot outside and stay in the garden until they were sure we were out of the way! They have now settled and seem comfortable, both are very affectionate cats - with me anyway. However, they have yet to bond with my husband and whenever he comes home they still run away from him or hide under a chair. They will let him stroke them when they're tired and relaxed but they tend to keep their distance most of the time and still run outside when he comes homes.

Does anyone have any tips that we can try to get them to stop them feeling so shy of him? My husband loves the cats, gives them treats, gives them space when they want it and affection when they allow. I do sometimes wonder if the previous owner wasn't very nice to them and so they are generally just shy of men.

Any tips gratefully received.