Author Topic: Introducing 2 cats  (Read 6803 times)

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #52 on: April 13, 2014, 16:31:44 PM »
Thanks Sue :thanks:I have one on order!Just what I need-I hadn't thought of a microchip cat flap.
So the cats are out together all day now.Luckily im working from home a lot so im here to supervise them as they still need watching but they are doing well.They don't go into each others rooms and use them as "time-out"spaces.The rest of the time they are in the same room.They both LOVE play so will play with me with the same toy.Eddie has discovered where Ellies food bowl is in the kitchen so im having to be careful as he will eat from it given the chance and she understandably hates this :(There is still some hissing and abit of growling sometimes but I just make sure I distract and reassure them both and theyre ok.It will still be alittle while before I can leave them JUST incase they get too annoyed with each other.I put Eddie in his room at night still but im sure that wont be for too much longer.Hes so much more confident and happy if still abit distant.

Thankyou so much to everyone who has posted.Ive appreciated the help and support and I now have 2 cats who are learning to live together and although we still have alittle way to go I know now they will be able to live happily in the same house in time :thanks: ;D
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Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #51 on: April 03, 2014, 19:17:28 PM »
Cathy, one possibility with the flap situation is to get a Sureflap Dual Scan flap.  They're about £65 (cant remember exactly what we paid for ours, but it was around that mark) - it permits you to set the flap so one cat can have indoor/outdoor access, and yet it will exclude your other cat from getting out.  It's very easy to change back and forth between the modes, so when Eddie's ready to go out, it wont create any problem.  We did this when we acquired Moray.  Tinks was able to come and go whereas Moray was confined to indoors only for the first few weeks.

It will fit the size hole that your average Staywell flap leaves behind, and it has one screw either side in terms of fixing.

Gill, Tinks will let us stroke and touch him, he just gets scared of affection.  He's never aggressive.  I suspect Lupin is just so eaten up with the desire to come and go freely as the others do that he's expressing his dissatisfaction in the only way he knows how.  :hug: :hug:

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #50 on: April 03, 2014, 18:46:57 PM »
Thankyou Gill and Emmmy-Lou.The more I watch the cats the more im convinced Eddie is being distant because he is still abit wary of Ellie and he doesn't want to upset her.Im hoping that its a similar situation to yours with Denzel,Emmmy-Lou and he will settle down again.Im just grateful that they are able to mix and I don't have to keep shutting Eddie in his room.I now have to work out how I manage the cat flap as only Ellie goes out at the moment and I feel that I want Eddie to be even more settled with things before he can go out too.Hes not that bothered at the moment but is starting to show interest in outdoors.

I need to give Eddie more time to get used to Ellie and his new freedom.Hes got a lot to take in at the moment bless him :)
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Offline emmmy_lou

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #49 on: April 03, 2014, 16:09:09 PM »
I am just catching up with this as wasnt on here last week.......

When Evie arrived at ours and was allowed to roam with the existing two in the house, it did uset Denzel in that way. Denzel used to sit on my lap when I was watching TV or snuggle in bed, but didn't for a few weeks.

Eventually things returned to 'normal' tho, although at first only when Evie was upstairs, but now Denzel will happily come into the room for cuddles regardless  :Luv:

Hope this is the same in your case and that Eddie is soon after more attention?  :Luv:
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Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #48 on: April 03, 2014, 15:13:20 PM »
Very complex indeed and Lupin sounds like Tinky and Paddy ands will rub round my legs to get something but otherwise ignores me totally.

He doesnt do purrs, have never heard one, he hates being stroked, just trying one at side of face where whiskers are but only one at atime or he will go for me.

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #47 on: April 03, 2014, 07:02:08 AM »


Very sensible - I hope the vet visit goes smoothly.  :hug:  Am sure there won't be anything wrong with him,but it'll do no harm to get him checked and may serve to put your mind at ease that there isn't an unknown physical cause for his reserve.

Assuming there isn't I would just continue to monitor the situation.  He's ot hiding out in his room, and there've been no overt displays of aggression between the two, so I suspect it may just be he's watching his P's and q's and making sure he doesn't overstep the mark which might  result in him getting a ticking off or a cold shouler from Ellie. 

And you're right - as long as they're both contented cats, that's the impotrant thing.   :)   :catplay2:

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #46 on: April 03, 2014, 00:20:54 AM »
Thankyou so much Sue for your interesting post its given me a lot to think about.Ive checked him over and he seems ok but it could be something I cant detect so ive got him booked into the vet tomorrow just to double check.
Ive noticed today that hes even more distant when Ellies in the room as far as I can tell.This would be consistant with his behaviour when Ellie was hospitalised for a week at the end of last year.He was even more affectionate than usual then and was gradually more relaxed as the week went on until Ellies return although he continued to be affectionate-just less relaxed.He is of course out of his room a lot more now and in the same room as Ellie much of the time.He has very gradually become more distant and I probably didn't notice the change at first which is why it didn't seem to coincide with their meetings.If this is the case I wonder if he will feel more "cuddly" again when he feels more settled with the situation?
This is just a theory and it could be that he doesn't feel the "need" to display affection now that hes settled and his scent is everywhere meaning he feels much more confident in general.
As you say they are very complex creatures-fascinating and sometimes infuriating!It doesn't matter one bit if hes affectionate/not affectionate-hes a cat so he will be what he wants to be!As long as hes happy that's the main thing and im just relieved that he and Ellie are working out a way of living together.Thanks again Sue :thanks:
« Last Edit: April 03, 2014, 01:23:39 AM by cathycat »
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Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #45 on: April 02, 2014, 07:06:28 AM »

Have you been able to get close enough to him to check him over?  Make sure he hasn't got anything physically wrong, as cat's will try very hard to conceal any sign of weakness/illness.  Might be worth just giving him a gentle physical to make sure he doesnt have any wounds or bites you're not aware of.  I'm sure he won't have, but it's worth looking.

It might be that he's wary of upsetting Ellie generally, and so has become more reserved as a result.  On the other hand, he may be feeling a bit more confident about his surroundings, so less need to have as much reassurance - being around him you'll know which it's more likely to be.

I think I would make a point of seekinghim out when he's having some "alone" time, and just gently instigating a little affectionate touch.  Maybe just using a closed hand to stroke him, and not overdoing it.  One touch is enough to let a cat know that you're thinking of him/her -  even just popping your head into a room they're in and saying "Hi" counts to a cat.  They don't always welcome being handled or picked up, although as you say, Eddie was more free with his affection before, so might welcome a little time alone with you.

Tinks is very wary of affection - he hates being picked up, he never sits on a lap etc, but he does love it if you go up to him when he's on his own, and give the base of his tail a little scritch, or behind his ears.  He gets a big silly grin on his face and purrs like crazy, but often gets overcome with his own daring and scampers off looking embarrassed, yet hugely pleased with himself.

Last night for example, I got up in the middle of the night, and he was lying on the floor next to the blanket box.  When I came back to bed, I gently picked him up and popped him on the bottom of the bed.  he at once snuggled down and lay across my foot, but sometimes he needs that little bit of encouragement.  And sometimes he just won't countenance any kind of proximity.  We know he loves us just the same, so we can afford to give him the space he needs when he wants it. 

I wonder if Eddie is maybe feeling the same?  Tinks wasnt always our cat (like Eddie hasnt always been your cat) and even though he moved in with us as a consequence of his being our then cat's best buddy, he's very much "lead cat" in our house in terms of the fact that Moray joined us after Tinks arrival.  However, Moray's very definitely "in charge" and I wonder if that's how it is with Eddie and Ellie?

Just a few thoughts to ponder.

The main thing is, they seem to be tolerating each other's space pretty well.  Possibly the price that will be paid for that is Eddie being less friendly.  When we had Paddy, we introduced a kitten when he was two years old.  Paddy became more distant too.  He tolerated the interloper, but he spent much more time outside, and was far less affectionate with us than he'd previously been.   When we lost Flynn, Paddy became much friendlier again, although he was never what you'd call a lap cat, bless his heart - he just liked to know we were there if he needed us.  :Luv:  It wasnt until the last 5 years of his life, and following a stroke, that he would seek us out, and sit next to us.  That was more for reassurance, as his stroke left him deaf and somewhat disorientated for a time.

Cats are complex creatures, are they not?  The best we can do is observe and learn their o wn preferences, habits and charateristics, and try to ease things along where we can.    You're already doing that.   :hug:

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #44 on: April 01, 2014, 22:55:06 PM »
Thankyou Sue.Just one thing that Im wondering about.Eddie was very affectionate from when he first came here until about 2 weeks ago.This didn't co-inside with their first meeting or anything significant.Hes now very distant.Could this be down to the stress of it all?
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Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #43 on: March 30, 2014, 21:15:16 PM »
 ;D  Yay!!!!    Sounds like great progress Cathy! 

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #42 on: March 30, 2014, 18:19:38 PM »
Sooooo, huge steps since I last posted :)Eddie seems to have overcome some of his fear and will even walk past Ellie when hes feeling especially brave.When im home to supervise I leave the bedroom doors open and they can come and go as they want(Eddie doesn't use the cat flap yet but has access to the whole house)Ellie seems to have accepted Eddie although needs plenty of reassurance and Eddie-although still nervous-isn't "tied"to his room anymore.There is the odd hiss but its just a reminder from each cat not to come too close.Im amazed at the progress they've made this last week and am so proud of the cats.Its like they've worked hard to overcome their worries and are trying to work out a way of living together.Ive just been watching and reassuring but they've done the rest.It will be alittle while before I can go out and leave them alone together but I know that will happen.I cant wait to show Eddie the back garden and be able to leave the back door open for them in the warmer weather.Ellie loves outside in the summer but hates the winter weather so stays in all the time :)

Its been a long 5-6 months but we are definitely getting there.Yay!!!
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Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #41 on: March 23, 2014, 20:26:24 PM »
Patience and time is all there is and yes sometimes there are backward steps but stop worrying and take the lead from the cats now  :hug: :hug:

Offline SamMewl

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #40 on: March 22, 2014, 22:07:26 PM »
cathycat - i really think you are doing everything right. your cautious and sympathetic way is perfect for managing the introduction of two cats.

just calmbreathe and try and stop worrying  :hug:  there is no rush here. cats live a lot shorter time than us so i don't know why they take soooooo much time to get used to things! ..but they do  :)

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Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #39 on: March 22, 2014, 20:27:06 PM »
Just a little update.I haven't done another meet since Wednesday as I thought the cats(esp Eddie)could do with a break as I think Eddie became abit overwhelmed during the last meet.Hes really reluctant to come out of his room at the moment.Hes lost abit of confidence and I think there must have been some negative communication between the cats which I missed on Wednesday.Hes also become abit distant.
Ellie has a new scratching post in the living room which she sits by or on a lot when shes not playing with it!I think she finds it comforting and something that smells exclusively of her!As I type shes sort of pole dancing on it!!!
I did wonder if Eddie was maybe feeling unwell.I might get him checked at the vet to be sure.
Im not too sure what else to do at this stage especially as Eddie wants to stay put.Im worried that we have gone back afew steps because I missed something or had them out together for too long.If anyone has any ideas theyd be much appreciated.Thankyou
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Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #38 on: March 20, 2014, 13:58:40 PM »
Dont be sorry for the posts its great to hear how things are going  ;D ;D


Wholeheartedly agree.  That's what the forum is all about - to share information, and to support members where we can.  (and to have fun along the way  :))

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #37 on: March 20, 2014, 13:44:08 PM »
Dont be sorry for the posts its great to hear how things are going  ;D ;D

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #36 on: March 20, 2014, 09:34:35 AM »
Yes Sue I can see what you mean.I think I overdid the meeting yesterday and have learnt from that.Eddie has got an array of toys but I think only plays with me.When he first came I don't think he had ever been played with-not for a long time anyway as he looked really puzzled when I initiated play but it could also have been that he was simply getting used to his new situation.Thanks Sue for your post Im not going to do a meeting today and just see how the cats feel tomorrow.
Sorry for all the posts but its so good to be able to ask when im not sure about something!Dont know what id do without Purrs right now!Many thanks again :thanks:
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Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #35 on: March 20, 2014, 07:04:55 AM »
Sounds like maybe he feels a little overwhelmed, and safer upstairs.  Cat body language is very subtle when communicating with other cats, and it's not always easy to pick up on the signs a cat will detect.   If you do exactly as you've done, and leave his door ajar, he can make the decision whether its safe to come down or not, depending how brave he feels. 

It may even be that if he heard interesting noises, such as you and Ellie sharing some play time, he would venture out to investigate and watch.  Or, conversely, if everything is nice and quiet, he may venture out to see how that's been achieved, and to share in it.

I know what I'm like when I have to share my home - we had family move back from Spain around 4 years ago, lock stock and barrel.    Their rental house in the UK fell through, so I ended up with five of them, two of us, and our dog and cat all packed into our small 3 bed house.   I was dreadful.  I prowled and hissed and spat like any cat.  I retreated to my bedroom, trying to seek some quiet time, only to find the door would open, a head would pop round the door, and I'd get "Grandma - can I sit and watch TV with you?"
 :-:

I'm very fond of my family, but being in such proximity in a small space tried my patience and my nerves to breaking point.  The more it was forced on me, the more my fur stood on end, so to speak.

The main thing is between Ellie and Eddie, no fences need to be rushed, and it will take as long as it takes.  They're not fighting - they're just wary.   :hug: :hug:

(Hope Eddie has a catnip toy just in case he wants to have a sneaky little play on his own time.)  ;) :)

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #34 on: March 19, 2014, 21:03:17 PM »
Eddie seems to have decided its safer upstairs and wont come down this evening.He seems to be becoming abit more fearful so I have just left his door open and he is sitting in his bedroom while Ellie is downstairs playing with me.If Ellie settles he may venture down but if not at least he has the option and isn't shut in his room.I totally understand his fear but hope that one day he will be able to move around the house freely as Ellie does.Ellies having a lovely time though with her catnip toys!
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Offline Lyn (Slugsta)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #33 on: March 19, 2014, 19:39:53 PM »
I second what has been said - you are doing a great job, just keep doing as you are. It's lovely to hear of  cats blossoming when they get even a bit of love  ;D

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #32 on: March 19, 2014, 16:35:06 PM »
Agree cats are remarkable and time is the thing and patience and also giving all the same amount of time if possible.

Also so wonderful that cats who are having a hard time in one situation do so well when that situation is changed.

Some however have long memories like Sasa and Misa and have never fully shaken off their bad experiences sadly..............they are terrified of other people and when Misa goes to vets he is panting with heart racing so Gareth can never really seem him as he is. Sasa just freezes!

Lupin who has never been treated badly ever is like a crazy cat with Gareth, and just attacks and growls and generally behaves loopy! Think he remembers being neutered  :innocent:

Keep going Cathy you have done a wonderful job so far and even if they are never best friends they will live together happily side by side  ;D ;D

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #31 on: March 19, 2014, 15:14:50 PM »



Yes, very important to make an equal fuss of both, Cathy.  We found that when we adopted Moray.  Naturally being a young kitten, he wanted lots of cuddles and reassurance, which made Tinks a bit stand offish.  It didnt last for too long (longer than I wanted, but as I said earlier, I think I was also exceptionally lucky with the cats in question!). 

I took inspiration from Pav, who had been in an identical situation some weeks earlier, and seeing her two cats cuddled up together gave me something to aim for.  Maybe Ellie and Eddie may never be that close, but I still think that where you're at now is an incredibly positive achievement.   :hug:

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #30 on: March 19, 2014, 14:18:26 PM »
Had a meet for about an hour this morning and Ellie was quite tense.Eddie tends to sit near or on me because hes scared during their time together and she obviously doesn't like this.I spent abit of time with her afterwards,reassuring her which she really liked.I realise she may be abit jealous too so will be mindful of this.They both need so much reassurance and im more than happy to provide this but sometimes need to be in two places at once!I guess some meetings will be more successful than others as its still such early days.
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Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #29 on: March 19, 2014, 09:55:12 AM »
Thanks Gill.They are such remarkable animals aren't they?Interesting to hear about your two.At the sanctuary,sharing Eddies room was a youngish female called Poppy.She hadn't adapted to sanctuary life and stayed in her bed the whole time-hissing if approached.I wanted to adopt her but thought it may be Eddies last chance being an old boy but I kept an eye on the website to see if she was still there.Last week it said she was rehomed so I rang the sanctuary and they said she had a lovely home,was happy settled and PLAYING!!!Im so pleased for her. ;D
Anyway I will just keep going with this.Thankyou so much everyone whos posted.Your support has really been appreciated.Its taken 5 months for us to get this far but its so worth it seeing the progress made,especially since having help on Purrs. :thanks: :thanks:
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Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #28 on: March 19, 2014, 02:13:23 AM »
Eddie is just doing so well and the progress has been really quick  ;D ;D

Misa and Sasa  came here and first time they met was in the car in their carriers and misa with his terrible background got on with her straight away but spemt most of his time hiding under the recliner but he loved strokes.

sasa took 7 years to allow me to stroke her and now she pesters me on the stairs cos its only on the stairs or landing she allows strokes.

So keep up the great work

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #27 on: March 18, 2014, 21:28:40 PM »
That's very true Sue.When I think about that I feel tearful :'(The first thing he did when he came home here was flop onto my lap and fall into a deep sleep-he was so tired and seemed to know he was safe and could relax.Makes his progress all the more remarkable knowing the rubbish time hes had most or all of his 14 years.When he came to me he had a thyroidectomy and much needed dental within a month too.He was also dirty-understandably and he adored being brushed and brushed-like he had never been pampered before!He still LOVES his daily brush :)As you can probably tell hes loved VERY much now.  :Luv:
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Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #26 on: March 18, 2014, 17:38:27 PM »


Cathy, I think that's the very telling reminder - that he used to sleep in the litter box at the shelter.  That's about as demoralised as a cat can get, so I think his progress with Ellie is just amazing in such a relatively short space of time.   :)  :hug:

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #25 on: March 18, 2014, 15:12:29 PM »
Thankyou Sue :)I have the cats out together at the moment.At the beginning of the meet Eddie did his usual hiss.Ellie actually invited him to play but hes wary of her so sat still.Im at the stage where I can let them both have free range of the house and let them do their own thing for afew hours but I need to watch them incase of any problems and initially their senses are heightened and need play distraction but I feel weve come a long way quite quickly.Eddie just needs to learn now that Ellies not going to hurt him.Hes doing so well as we think he was bullied at his last home and possibly at the sanctuary which is why he slept in the communal litter tray there.
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Miss you all so much. xx

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #24 on: March 18, 2014, 09:03:46 AM »


Sorry to hear you've been poorly cathy, and hoping you feel better very soon.   :hug:

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #23 on: March 18, 2014, 00:21:18 AM »
 Thankyou.Ive been ill and haven't been able to do anything since Friday except let Eddie out on his own while Ellies been asleep on my bed.Will probably do another meet tomorrow.Fingers crossed it goes well again.
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Offline Lyn (Slugsta)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #22 on: March 16, 2014, 21:24:11 PM »
It's lovely to hear of  them getting on so well  ;D

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #21 on: March 16, 2014, 18:19:37 PM »


What good news.  It's all shaping up very positively.   :)

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #20 on: March 15, 2014, 00:05:01 AM »
Wonderful  ;D

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #19 on: March 14, 2014, 21:14:07 PM »
Had a brilliant day with the cats today!!They had a "meeting"and it went sooo well and lasted about 2 hours.Eddie was nervous but managed to relax abit and closed his eyes on the sofa sat with me.Ellie was fantastic.She played lots,lay down on the floor exposing her tummy :)and just seemed generally accepting of the situation.Eddie is "recovering" at the moment in his room and is abit uptight but ok.Hes happy to stay there for now.I might just let him out without Ellie being there tomorrow.Im so proud of them both today. :wow:
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Miss you all so much. xx

Offline SamMewl

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #18 on: March 14, 2014, 12:11:01 PM »
It sounds like these cats are doing well. You have a good plan, I wish all new cats where introduced as sympathetically as these two! I would echo Sue though and try and relax too! I think you are maybe so worried about it 'all going wrong' that you are finding it stressful. If the worse happens and they do chase then it should only be a step back and while its so much better if they don't its not the end of the possible relationship with these cats.

cats don't actually like to fight and it seems like these two older cats know all about 'cat stuff' already. As long as you keep access to two safe places for them both (so the bedroom for Ellie and the spare room for Eddie?) they will divide the house between themselves if they do not want to go so far as to buddy up together. Staring is more that Eddie is not relaxed with Ellie and without other 'aggressive' body language Ellie should not perceive this as a threat.
good luck xxx
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Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #17 on: March 14, 2014, 06:58:45 AM »


I agree with Gill - you're doing everything sensibly, so more of the same, I think - perhaps try to relax a little mroe around them, and they will take their cue from you.  :hug: :hug:  If you behave as if you dont perceive eiterh of them as a threat to the other, they will pick up your signals accordingly.      :)

[says I, who was every bit as anxious back then as you are now  ;) :hug:]

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2014, 00:45:04 AM »
I think you are doing all you can and the cats will have to take the next step  :hug: :hug:

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #15 on: March 13, 2014, 22:21:01 PM »
Ive done 2 more "meetings" since my last post and they went really well.The second meeting Ellie played with me infront of Eddie and Eddie seemed less tense.Neither cat made a sound.Ive still got some way to go but it looks promising.Is there anything more I can do during these cat meetings apart from watching closely and playing with them individually if either cat wants to play?
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Miss you all so much. xx

Offline cathycat

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #14 on: March 10, 2014, 10:47:40 AM »
Thanks Gill and Sue your thoughts are appreciated.Ellie will definitely be incharge!!Shes that kinda gal but shes a sweetie really. :Luv:She loved my other cat,Harvey who sadly went missing last summer-another old boy of 15. :'(I didn't do a meeting yesterday as I had  family over and it wasn't really possible but will have another go today.
Bridge cats Ellie,Harvey,Eddie,Charlie,
Miss you all so much. xx

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Introducing 2 cats
« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2014, 21:06:56 PM »
 :shy:  I suspect Ellie might not have been swearing, just giving a verbal warning to her new companion not to push his luck.  I think you're right to monitor the situation and to take things slowly, but I also think that the indications for their ultimate relationship seems to bode well.  :)

 


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