Author Topic: Adoption dilemia.......  (Read 1555 times)

Offline sheilarose

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Re: Adoption dilemia.......
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2013, 06:45:43 AM »
Jas is your Alpha female, and what she says, goes.  :shify:

OH had two Alpha females at one point, sisters actually, but one left home to live with a neighbour because they could not sort it out between themselves (She was called Jasmine too, funnily enough!) We still have Pursley, the other sister, and now at 17 she's happy enough to allow other females to take the lead. Polly has now assumed the role of Alpha female so bosses us all around.  :shy:

If Meg is unhappy with Jas, you may find she's equally unhappy with another cat in the household, especially if it turned out to be another Alpha female, at which point you may find yourself with an even bigger problem.  :scared:

If a friend for Meg is what you really want, it might be better to get an older cat who has known "companion" traits? Maybe a neutered male with a soft nature would suit her.

Your local rescue should be able to help.  ;)

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Adoption dilemia.......
« Reply #7 on: August 16, 2013, 07:07:26 AM »



This might be an interesting little article - I like this lady (not just because we share similar views on many points) and you can find a lot of info on her site about cat personalities and having more than one cat.....

http://www.wayofcats.com/multiple-cat-advantage/534

With our two, they're pretty evenly matched - there's about three months between them in terms of age.

Ross is the bigger of the two cats, and is a fairly stocky build.  He's a rounded, laid back cat, but he does enjoy a bit of rough and tumble, he doesnt mind being picked up, or towel-dried, and he enjoys spending time outdoors in his garden.  Tinky is the leaner of the two cats, and has the more pointed slightly oriental looking traits - he's a home bird who doesnt like being picked up but who loves a bit of rufty-tufty chasey game with Ross.  They complement each other very well, but there are endless successful permutations between cat friends, just as there are with humans, and it isn't always the obvious choices which succeed the best. 


Offline Hippykitty

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Re: Adoption dilemia.......
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2013, 21:07:03 PM »
In my experience, assertive cats get on best with laid back cats; they seem to complement each other, whereas two assertive cats often fight, and two laid back cats are just not interested in one another.
That's been my experience when having pairs of cats. With more than a pair, like having six, they tend to be best buddies with whoever is around at the time.
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Offline Tempest

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Re: Adoption dilemia.......
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2013, 17:06:31 PM »
Thanks for that, it's really helpful :) Strangely enough Jas is v. oriental looking and she's a total stress head  :Crazy:

From what you've said about kitten personalities I'm not really sure though if we should be looking for a really bold kitten or one that's a bit more timid as being the best combination for our girls..........?

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Adoption dilemia.......
« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2013, 15:38:18 PM »


The best indicators can normally be seen whilst they're still with their family group, if you get the opportunity.  There will always be one kitten who's more boisterous or playful than the rest, or one who is "explorer kitty" - they may be the ones who come up to you first, or are first out of the box or bed.  They will normally confident and fairly assertive cats. Large and in Charge.  They will probably be first to try out new things, and get into mischief more readily.  They are normally sociable, and have leadership qualities but can tend towards bossiness.

There may be one who shies away or is more reluctant to come to investigate what's going on.  They may be more uncertain of new experiences and take time to assimilate those new things (doesnt mean they're slow - just cautious!  ;)  There may be those kittens who dont react immediately to a new presence cos they're too busy playing. 

Face shapes can be a good indicator too - and paws.  My personal experience is that larger rounder face shapes and paws tend towards more laid back characters, whereas more pointed faces and larger ears can be indicative of oriental ancestry, and these can be quite enquiring, active, eager to learn cats, who can have more complex qualities to their natures, but that can often be sensitive to external stimulus and maybe not as receptive to potential stress factors (like small children, loud noises etc).

There are always exceptions to every rule, but these aren't so much rules as guidelines -  generally they will serve as pathways to help assess a kitten's nature when you first meet them. 

Offline Tempest

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Re: Adoption dilemia.......
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2013, 15:28:03 PM »
Thanks for the reply Sue :) I wasn't too sure on age really - probably a kitten from anything around 8-16 weeks I guess.

We have lots of points in the home where Jas can go where she won't be bothered as the house is quite large so that shouldn't be too much of an issue.

I noticed you mentioned that there are often quite good indicators when looking for personality traits in kittens - what kind of things would you be looking out for when selecting a kitten?

Offline Sue P (Paddysmum)

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Re: Adoption dilemia.......
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2013, 12:55:53 PM »


Well from what you say, Tempest, Jas sounds like she's a solitary kind of cat, who prefers her own company.  Meg on the other hand enjoys a spot of feline companionship, a snuggle and potentially the opportunity for play.  I think there's a very good chance you good successfully incorporate another cat into your family if you pick and choose your new companion with care.  the great thing about kittens is that they're incredibly adaptable - but - they can be trying on the cat who doesnt want to get involved, and you cant always see at kitten stage what temperament or personality the kitten has (although there are usually pretty good indicators if you know where to look). 

Are there plenty of points in your home where Jas could take herself off for some peace and quiet, and which are less accessable to inquisitive youngsters?  If not, you could create some - maybe additional cat platforms and beds, so that each of them would end up having a preferred place of their own to retreat too. 

Were you thinking about getting a kitten around 8 weeks old, or a slightly older kitten - maybe around 4 months?  You could have a chat with your local rescues and see if they could specifically recommend any of their current kittens having regard to both Jas's preference for solitude and peace, and Meg's reticent but apparent desire for company.   They may even be willing to let you trial a potential kitten over the course of a week to see how you get on.

Offline Tempest

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Adoption dilemia.......
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2013, 09:08:26 AM »
Some of you probably remember me posting a while back about adopting another kitten and we're still undecided!

We have Meg (2 years) and Jasmine (4 years) and they rub along together fairly well although Meg likes Jas alot more than Jas likes her lol!!

We had some issues over a year ago with Jas spraying in the house and had to get a behaviourist in who identified that it was a cat outside stressing Jas out and with some window film we solved the problem and it hasn't reoccured.

I really really want to adopt another kitten and all our local rescues are overflowing with them at the moment and I think we've got a really good home to offer.

The other half is less sure as he thinks that it'll rock the boat and upset the girls. Meg can be quite a nervy girl and I always get the impression that she's desperate to play/snuggle with Jas but Jas has none of it so I always feel a bit sorry for Meg in that respect and I think she'd love a playmate and someone to snuggle with. Also they've just been to the cattery whilst we were on hols and have to have seperate pens as Jas wouldn't tolerate being confined with Meg I don't think and I always feel really sorry for Meg having to go in on her own :(

Just wondering what others think really and if I'm totally mad to be considering it............

 


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