Purrs In Our Hearts - Cat Forum UK

Cat General => General Cat Chat => Topic started by: beowulf on March 20, 2014, 18:18:56 PM

Title: Cat Definitions
Post by: beowulf on March 20, 2014, 18:18:56 PM

got this from a kitty loving friend in the States   ;D



Cat Definitions

•Aquarium: interactive television for cats.
 
 
•Cat: 1. a lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.
         2. a four footed allergen.
         3. a small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.
         4. a small, furry lap fungus.
         5. a treat-seeking missile.
         6. a wildlife control expert.
         7. one who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes.
         8. a hair relocation expert.
         9. an unprogrammable animal.
 
 
•Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life.
 
 
•Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.
 
 
•Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.
 
 
•Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.
 
 
•Dog: a cat's device for running practice.
 
 
•Door: something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.
 
 
•Energy: the element of vitality cats always have an oversupply of until you try to play with them.
 
 
•Human: an automatic door opener for cats.
 
 
•Impurrsonate: to act like the cat.
 
 
•Kitten: a small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two.
 
 
•Purrade: an organized march of cats.
 
 
•Purradise: the garden of Cats.
 
 
•Purramour: a cat lover.
 
 
•Purranoia: the fear that your cat is up to something.
 
 
•Purraphernalia: a cat's personal belongings.
 
 
•Purrch: any favored feline napping spot.
 
 
•Purrchase: anything bought for a cat.
 
 
•Purrfume: the scent of an open can of tuna.
 
 
•Purrgatory: a houseful of kittens.
 
 
•Purrmission: a feline hunting expedition.
 
 
•Purrpetual: everlasting feline love.
 
 
•Purrplex: a house with two or more cats.
 
 
•Purrson: a male kitten.
 
 
•Purrsuit: the garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting.
 
 
•Purrverse: a poem about a wicked kitty.
 
 
•Tooraloorailurophobia: an irrational fear of Irish cats.
 
 
•Tuner: sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear.
 
 
•Yawn: a cat's honest opinion openly expressed.

Title: Re: Cat Definitions
Post by: maryas on March 20, 2014, 19:37:59 PM

Some very good points there  :rofl:

My fave is:

•Human: an automatic door opener for cats.  I often wonder if I should wear a uniform and get tips at Christmas :evillaugh:

Mind you, I've got to the stage now where I leave them all open and just turn up the heating and pay the big bills ;)

Mary

Title: Re: Cat Definitions
Post by: Gill (sneakiefeline) on March 20, 2014, 19:48:49 PM

Just love those and my fav is

Kitten: a small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two.

And my purrson is still at it at 3 yrs old!  I could never have coped with 2!

Title: Re: Cat Definitions
Post by: Sam (Fussy_Furball) on March 20, 2014, 20:59:30 PM

 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Title: Re: Cat Definitions
Post by: Jiji on March 20, 2014, 21:12:12 PM

 :evillaugh: :evillaugh: :evillaugh: