It's taken me a couple of days to type this, because it still doesn't seem real. I come downstairs expecting you to be curled up on "your" futon. When you aren't the room seems bare.
I can't express in words how losing you has made me feel. I'm feeling numb almost, and empty.
You were such an amazing little personality. You always made the people that met you smile. You were gentle and affectionate and I never once saw any sign of that selfishness that you see in most cats.
It was a humbling experience to have you in my life - and an honour. You helped me through some rough times, and gave me a reason to see good in a situation.
You'll be missed by us all, and no amount of words can say how much. I wish I could give you the dignity in this post you deserve, but I don't think I'll ever be able to get across how truly wonderful you were.
I read a poem about a week before you went and it made me cry. I knew you were ill and we'd be losing you - I just didn't know how soon. I'm posting the poem now, because I hope beyond hope it's true.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
We love you, Toby. Never forget how much.
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