Topic: Maddy is really bad at the moment (I think it may be time) (Read 18684 times)

Philip · « **Reply #78 on:** May 28, 2009, 02:04:12 AM »

Quote from: Gillian (Ambercat) on May 27, 2009, 17:32:58 PM

Quote from: Philip on May 27, 2009, 13:01:17 PM
I have cared for other CRF cats and they have had it for years. Its been 2 months with Maddy so far and the deterioration has been more rapid.

Do you know if there is a specific cause for her CRF Phillip? - I'm thinking PKD perhaps? because, as I expect you know, if she did have something like that, she will have had the cysts from birth and sometimes they just grow really quickly and impair the kidney function faster than if the CRF is due to wear and tear etc. - just a thought. Doesn't make it any easier I know, but might explain the fast deterioration at such a young age.

Gillian.

My vet feels its pyelonephritis caused by a severe dental infection she had when I rescued her.

Philip · « **Reply #77 on:** May 28, 2009, 02:01:55 AM »

Yes I know Gill. its well know isnt it that cats that have been hit by a car purr.

Maddy was Purring and had a contented look in her eyes so I felt it was a good purr.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #76 on:** May 28, 2009, 01:07:10 AM »

Lots of good vibes for Maddy

One tiny word of warning but am sure you know.....purring can be a sign of pain and distress , its not always a happy cat thats purring

Gillian Harvey · « **Reply #75 on:** May 27, 2009, 17:32:58 PM »

Quote from: Philip on May 27, 2009, 13:01:17 PM

I have cared for other CRF cats and they have had it for years. Its been 2 months with Maddy so far and the deterioration has been more rapid.

Do you know if there is a specific cause for her CRF Phillip? - I'm thinking PKD perhaps? because, as I expect you know, if she did have something like that, she will have had the cysts from birth and sometimes they just grow really quickly and impair the kidney function faster than if the CRF is due to wear and tear etc. - just a thought. Doesnt make it any easier I know, but might explain the fast deterioration at such a young age.

Debsymiller (Rufus' mum) · « **Reply #74 on:** May 27, 2009, 15:59:13 PM »

Philip · « **Reply #73 on:** May 27, 2009, 13:01:17 PM »

Also I feel so powerless. Being a qualified nurse working on an emergency assesment unit, im used to stablising patients.

I do ask myself this question a lot.

"am I doing all this to keep her alive for my benefit".

Then I feel guilty and really crappy about myself.

At the end of the day, She has CRF and this is a progressive illness. There will come a time when I have to let her go.

I have cared for other CRF cats and they have had it for years. Its been 2 months with Maddy so far and the deterioration has been more rapid.

CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls · « **Reply #72 on:** May 27, 2009, 13:00:51 PM »

Aww bless her she does look really poorly

Philip · « **Reply #71 on:** May 27, 2009, 12:44:23 PM »

Quote from: Hippykitty on May 27, 2009, 07:45:13 AM

Try to make the distinction between how you feel and how she feels. Are you just finding the nursing a tremendous strain and the pain YOU feel hard to bear? I think this is important when deciding what to do. It's always a help to have the opinion of a close cat-loving friend who is less involved emotionally. I've always leaned on friends a great deal at such times to help me decide just how my ill cat is feeling.

If she's having off days, then a good day, let her make the most of the good days. Is she still purring? If so, she's having happy moments, let her have as many as she can before you make the final decision.

I always err on the side of waiting until it's obvious my cat's life is nothing but suffering. I have to live for years with the decisions I've made. Guilt is a natural part of grief, so I try not to make it worse.

I've recently had to have Polly pts, but I was certain her life was over. I miss her and hate the way she died, but I know she was at the end of her life.

I hope Maddy and you cope with her illness for a long time yet. Take some easy time for yourself otherwise you'll be overwhelmed by the stress of nursing her.

Lots of good vibes for you both.

You are so right.

The nursing care side of things is hard, but if its giving Maddy a good quality of life then I feel its more than worth it. The times I have felt that making that decision is imminent is when she seems so bad that there was no quality of life. The problem is then that she improves again and it makes things so complicated. I don't want to make this decision lightly and like you, I know I will have to live with this decision for the rest of my life. It doesn't help her being so young.

She had a good day yesterday and looks like shes not suffering today, so at the moment I will continue. She has purred and enjoyed a fuss. I cant deny that sometimes I feel its a strain. I cant go out and I feel I have to rush home after work. I love her so much though. I am finding the pain of seeing her like this hard to bear, but I know that wont stop me doing what ever needed to be done.

In my heart I know its not time yet, but how long before it is i don't know. Also how long do I keep up this intensive nursing care. I hate sometimes seeing how Maddy is when I syringe feed her. If it goes badly I feel really guilty. I'm having trouble getting the hills KD pureed to the right consistency to syringe properly. Last night it was too watery. Today too thick.

Michelle (furbabystar) · « **Reply #70 on:** May 27, 2009, 11:36:19 AM »

How is she today Philip ?

Sending you both lots of love xx

Stuart · « **Reply #69 on:** May 27, 2009, 11:23:40 AM »

Thinking of You

swampmaxmum · « **Reply #68 on:** May 27, 2009, 09:37:22 AM »

I just echo what HK has just said. Intensive nursing at home (and you're working all day as well, right?) is so tiring and emotionally exhausting sometimes, especially when you love them, they aren't doing well and you think it's the end.
Then the next day is quite possibly better. Just sending you lots of

Hippykitty · « **Reply #67 on:** May 27, 2009, 07:45:13 AM »

Try to make the distinction between how you feel and how she feels. Are you just finding the nursing a tremendous strain and the pain YOU feel hard to bear? I think this is important when deciding what to do. It's always a help to have the opinion of a close cat-loving friend who is less involved emotionally. I've always leaned on friends a great deal at such times to help me decide just how my ill cat is feeling.

If she's having off days, then a good day, let her make the most of the good days. Is she still purring? If so, she's having happy moments, let her have as many as she can before you make the final decision.

I always err on the side of waiting until it's obvious my cat's life is nothing but suffering. I have to live for years with the decisions I've made. Guilt is a natural part of grief, so I try not to make it worse.

I've recently had to have Polly pts, but I was certain her life was over. I miss her and hate the way she died, but I know she was at the end of her life.

I hope Maddy and you cope with her illness for a long time yet. Take some easy time for yourself otherwise you'll be overwhelmed by the stress of nursing her.

Lots of good vibes for you both.

Desley (booktigger) · « **Reply #66 on:** May 27, 2009, 07:38:27 AM »

I am glad the vet was a bit more hopeful, and I hope she can get over this crisis and have more quality time with you, it is such a rollercoaster though.

Philip · « **Reply #65 on:** May 26, 2009, 23:41:25 PM »

Here she is with Christian

Philip · « **Reply #64 on:** May 26, 2009, 23:38:46 PM »

She has found a nice hiding place so I have kitted it out with a bed for her.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #63 on:** May 26, 2009, 23:32:55 PM »

lots of good vibes for maddy

Gillian Harvey · « **Reply #62 on:** May 26, 2009, 19:43:01 PM »

What a rollercoaster Phillip, hope the subQ's get her stable again.

Philip · « **Reply #61 on:** May 26, 2009, 14:41:14 PM »

No Maddy seems to do ok with syringes.

I use a 50ml bladder syringe as it has a bigger capacity than those smaller feeding syringes and the tip doesn't block so easily.

I put a tiny amount of olive oil on the syringe bung on the plunger to make the food come out more smoothly.

I wrap Maddy in a towel and she just lets me get on with it.

Its difficult isn't it. You don't want to cause a feed aversion, but at the same time they need some kind of nutrition.

swampmaxmum · « **Reply #60 on:** May 26, 2009, 14:27:05 PM »

Philip, I am assist feeding my Max with renal diets and I find that either the purina NF or the RCR chicken pouches (blended in the latter case) are far easier for him to take on assist feeding than the k/d, which they somehow seem not to like when blended. K/d has more calories than RCR but not sure about purina. I also changed from a/d because it's not going to be much fun for the cat so I reckoned to give him the best food possible so why not watered down renal food (Tanya's CRF site also points out not to give a favourite food on assist feeding).
This horrible illness changes daily so don't give up hope while there still is some and all the very best

PS I found using a back of a teaspoon with a little food put directly on to his tongue I get more down Max in fewer stressful meals - he finds syringes stressful but perhaps Maddy doesn't mind as much?

clarenmax · « **Reply #59 on:** May 26, 2009, 14:17:24 PM »

If there is hope, then you must try, wishing you the very best of luck that Maddy turns a corner with the renal day and daily fluids

xx

CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls · « **Reply #58 on:** May 26, 2009, 13:53:16 PM »

Phillip- just look at my little Ollie, he has been on deaths door many a time, only to come back to being 100%

If there is still hope there you must use it. I understand what you mean by the mixed emotions, they leave you feeling very confused, not knowing what to do

I believe you know whats best for Maddy and if she is still fighting to be here, then thats what you must help her with

Philip · « **Reply #57 on:** May 26, 2009, 13:40:05 PM »

I gave Maddy 150ml of subcutaneous fluids (more to keep her comfortable) and settled down with her in my bedroom for the night.

She has surprised me this morning by purring and going and having a good drink and eating a few mouthfulls of Sheba.

She wouldn't even drink anything yesterday.

This has made the situation really hard for me now. At this moment today I can't see the look I saw yesterday which made me feel it was decision making time. She looks a little better and more comfortable.

So following discussion with my vet, She agrees its worth trying subcutaneous fluids daily for a few days and syringe feeding a proper renal diet.

I have been syringe feeding Maddy with royal canin recovery diet (the same as Hills AD) because its easy to syringe feed, but it isn't a proper renal diet even with phosphate binders added I do worry its too high calorie for a cat with compromised renal function.

I have got some tins of hills KD which is a pate form and I will puree it and see how we go.

I think this is going to be a last attempt in trying to get Maddy stable again.

I feel confident that I will know when its time and I did feel that yesterday, but today that feeling isn't there. I cant explain it, I just know.

I feel I have to try this.

Kirst · « **Reply #56 on:** May 26, 2009, 13:29:51 PM »

I'm so sorry Philip.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #55 on:** May 26, 2009, 00:14:41 AM »

So sorry to hear that Maddy is not improving and its so young to be so ill but you care enough to know what is best for her and I agree with Gillian. Lots of thoughts for you and Maddy

Gillian Harvey · « **Reply #54 on:** May 25, 2009, 23:01:53 PM »

Sorry Phillip, from what you say it doesnt look good for Maddy - it sounds as though you know what is the right thing to do for her now. I think you have tried everything you can, but maybe worth speaking to your vet, just to see if there is anything else that can be done

swampmaxmum · « **Reply #53 on:** May 25, 2009, 21:35:32 PM »

I'm so sorry Philip

Kay and Penny · « **Reply #52 on:** May 25, 2009, 21:10:20 PM »

it's the price we have to pay for loving them

but the pain never ever cancels out the love, however deep that pain is at the time

as for a past life, check out my sig - you I am sure are one of the good guys

a candle for Maddy and you to help you through the night

Philip · « **Reply #51 on:** May 25, 2009, 21:04:42 PM »

Yes I think you are right.

This is breaking my heart and all I can feel is emotional pain right now.

I have just got home from work and she is so weak that she just sits down again when I try to get her to walk.

She can't get comfortable either and lets out this horrible meow.

I can't see anyway back from this at the moment.

I really don't want to lose her, but I know I might have to.

This is horrible. She's only 9. I lost 2 furbabes last year. I feel like I did something terrible in a past life.

Kay and Penny · « **Reply #50 on:** May 25, 2009, 20:43:36 PM »

lots of hugs for you Phillip - nothing is worse than feeling helpless when our babes are ill

it doesn't sound as if Maddy is in pain, so it is you who is suffering the most - I hope very much the vet can suggest something tomorrow to help her - and if he can't, that you will have the courage you need to help her

Jasmine · « **Reply #49 on:** May 25, 2009, 14:15:18 PM »

So sorry to hear about Maddy, it sounds as if you have done everything you possibly can for her Philip.

Philip · « **Reply #48 on:** May 25, 2009, 13:23:29 PM »

I cant bear seeing her like this anymore. Its breaking my heart.

Today she just wants to hide away. This is just how Tiffy was when it was his time.

She is still on the antibiotics and she doesnt seem to be getting any better.

If I wasnt supporting her so much, I feel she wouldnt be here right now.

She is on so many treaments. Fortekor, potassium, anti sickness, subcutaneous fluids. So many invasive things.

I just feel today like "is this right". I cant stop crying.

Desley (booktigger) · « **Reply #47 on:** May 25, 2009, 13:15:23 PM »

I am sorry to hear this, I personally would just speak to your vet tomorrow and see what they feel, and if there is anything that can be done for her, it could just be she needs longer on the antibiotics, or slightly different ones. Fingers crossed he doesn't think it is her time yet

Janeyk · « **Reply #46 on:** May 25, 2009, 13:07:43 PM »

So sorry to hear this Phillip, it sounds like you need to make that appointment to talk to your vet, I do hope that the vet can help

Philip · « **Reply #45 on:** May 25, 2009, 13:04:23 PM »

I'm very sorry to report that I feel Maddy is going downhill again.

She eats way too little and I feel the only way she is surviving is because I syringe feed her. Sometimes she drinks lots, other times, she just walks up to the bowl, sniffs it and walks away. There has been more weight loss even though I'm syringe feeding her.

She just wants to hide away and I feel that her quality of life right now isn't that great. Right now she keeps meowing like she is distressed.

I have to provide a great deal of nursing care and right now I feel its just prolonging the agony.

Right now I feel I should make an appointment with my vet tomorrow and make the decision.

I really haven't had long to come to terms with this.

Janeyk · « **Reply #44 on:** May 23, 2009, 08:15:39 AM »

I'm really pleased to hear she is a bit better, bless her

bonnielass · « **Reply #43 on:** May 23, 2009, 08:13:05 AM »

Maddie is beautiful

and im so pleased she is feeling better

Bazsmum · « **Reply #42 on:** May 23, 2009, 03:25:39 AM »

What a pretty girl Maddy is!

Hippykitty · « **Reply #41 on:** May 23, 2009, 02:58:53 AM »

With that cheeky glint in her eyes, I think she has a few years to go yet.

pappilon · « **Reply #40 on:** May 22, 2009, 02:01:41 AM »

I am glad Maddy is feeling better, she is so beautiful.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #39 on:** May 22, 2009, 00:20:14 AM »

I just adore Maddy

Author Topic: Maddy is really bad at the moment (I think it may be time) (Read 18684 times)