Is it just me or are all of use in rescue just seen as mugs

[Pinkbear (Julie)]

I think there's times when we've all been led up the garden path. I can think of many times I took what people said at face value, only to be royally  in the backside.  I have certainly got 'MUG' written on my forehead. 

Lesley, I think you need to make some golden rules and stick to them, though, as you can do something to avoid situations like this. I would make one of those rules that any cats or kittens you help signed over to you. It's always possible for people to apply to you to adopt them back from you after you are convinced they are ready, isn't it? 

Try to remember you are not the only source of help available to folks, and if the PDSA is going to refer cases to you, you have every right to insist on the same standards.

[Bryony84]

Lesley, I don't think you were gullible at all, from what you've said, this lady did a very good job of convincing you that she cared for the babies and some people are just too good at lying. If you had not stepped in when you did, theres every chance that the babies could have died left in the hands of the woman. At least now they are weaned they have a chance and we have to hope that they have gone to good homes.

[Canterbury_cats (Sharon)]

We had a similar situation with all of Shrimps kittens and after at least 1/2 hour on the phone she eventually signed them over. She did want Shrimp back but i told her to come back to us but she never did..
Having had a similar situation to your one (although the mum hadnt died) we no say "sign over" or all we can do is offer advice and get mum spayed.... Its terribly difficult but having been let down so many times by people, people at least know our stance and can take it or leave it.

[Dawn F]

I haven't read all the posts Lesley but I'm sure everyone agrees that you aren't a mug and this person is a cynical   using your kindness - I'd definately say sign over in future

[Kenzi]

I am sorry that this happened after all the hard work, worry, and love you gave to these kittens.

I think that I would ring the lady to see how they are, and maybe suggest that you would like to come and visit them, and then see what her excuses are.

[Ela]

We have a policy that cats we help must be signed over to us and will rarely do more than offer advice if the owner is unwilling to do this (exceptions being neutering).

That  what we do (sort of) if they are a bit apprehensive and I think if I don't help the cats/kittens will suffer I say you can always apply to adopt them again when the situation is sorted. Very few ever do and if they do surprise, surprise they have already found a new home. I hate lying but find it acceptable telling a white one if it to help cats/kittens.

[Desley (booktigger)]

Your not guillible or a mug, you just put the kittens first, it is very sad that this woman was more concerned about the money aspect of them. i would consider changing things that they are signed over to you, and will only go back if she is willing to adopt them at the right age though, but I think that is the most you can do. It is very hard saying no at times, as you worry about what will happen to them otherwise.

[JackSpratt]

It's not gullible to assume someone has an attachment to an animal if the act like they have.

That lady ought to be ashamed of herself.

[madkittyrescue]

I know you are both right, she doesn't care so my phone call won't make any difference, just another one to put down to experience.

True, but I also know it doesn't make you feel any better about it all!   lets just hope they are safe and sound now.

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

Looking back at it now, I think she knew exactly what she was doing and knew exactly what she would do when she got them back.  I don't think any amount of pressure would have made her sign them over, they were just pound notes to her .  If they had died in her hands, it would not have cost her much and me rearing them for her only cost her £20 so if she sold them for £20 each she would have made £60 profit.

The more I think about it, I am a mug because I would still do the same, to me the kittens come first. 

Lesley you aren't a mug you are genuine caring person and as such you find it hard to understand why everyone else isn't the same as you (I suffer from the same thing).  I, like you, try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and only when it's too late realise I have been taken for a fool ... but it wouln't t stop me doing the same thing again if in a similar situation.  You mustn't beat yourself up over this ... without you these little ones may not have survived and at least you gave them a chance.

I know it's difficult but you have to try to focus on the positives ... with any luck these babies will be in loving homes where they are wanted and will live long and happy lives.

As for the dozy mare who got rid of them ... she'll get hers eventually ... what goes around comes around 

[LesleyW]

I know you are both right, she doesn't care so my phone call won't make any difference, just another one to put down to experience.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I think you are no mug and did what was best for the kittens but not sure ringing her will do anything except upset you 

[madkittyrescue]

In all honesty though Lesley, do you think that even doing that WILL make her feel guilty???

She would have had to care what happened to the babies not the money to feel any guilt and you may just end up upsetting yourself more hun

whatever you decide to do though, don't beat yourself up about any outcome.

[LesleyW]

I know if I try to confront her about it the only person who will get upset will be me, I'm no good at confrontation.  But I may phone her tomorrow, in all innocence, and ask how they are.  If I can make her feel guilty maybe that's something; or will she just be laughing at me at bit more.

[madkittyrescue]

Lesley, I wouldn't say you're a mug at all.. you did exactly what many of the rest of us, including myself, would have done for the benefit of the kittens.  There are always going to those 'individuals' out there who will take advantage of us to make a quick buck and save them the hassle and I can relate to how you must be feeling.  But its not your fault Lesley, you have done your bit.   I know it makes us mad, angry and really pissed off at peoples attitudes when these things happen but the one thing you are not is a mug and it is definately NOT your fault / doing for what has happened to the babies.

The woman concerned needs to take a long hard look at herself and how she is exploiting her cats.

 

[blackcat]

she wants em back, she pays the full costs of raising them - including your time at whatever a vet nurse gets paid per hour ... 

If she is unwilling to pay that, then she signs them over ...

[LesleyW]

Looking back at it now, I think she knew exactly what she was doing and knew exactly what she would do when she got them back.  I don't think any amount of pressure would have made her sign them over, they were just pound notes to her .  If they had died in her hands, it would not have cost her much and me rearing them for her only cost her £20 so if she sold them for £20 each she would have made £60 profit.

The more I think about it, I am a mug because I would still do the same, to me the kittens come first. 

[koscha (Ruth M)]

What a   !
It's a shame you didn't have the sign over form in place then.....or she would have lost her 'precious bundles'/nice little earners  
Lesley, you know I know you're not gullible, you're sensible and don't suffer fools gladly, but what can be done in a place when all we get is lied to but do our best by the kitties and pray real hard......
I'm personally thinking about a 'sign over Mo or else' line on this pub woman, yes I appreciate that she has sought vet assistance for Mo but this woman was whinging about 'I don't want to keep this cat myself, as it's too much responsibilty' 10 days ago!  
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

What terrible decisions to have to make but think I would go with Angie and unless you were allowed to take them full stop, then no deal.

However its easy for me to say this cos I am not faced with the decision.

[LesleyW]

I think I will have to take that line in the future Angie.  I had told her that they were young and might not make it thinking if necessary I could say they died but she said if they didn't make it could she have their little bodies back to bury with mum, two faced moo.

The only trouble would be if I took that line I know I would be constantly worrying about any kittens that I had refused to  help and if anything happened to them, I would blame myself for not taking them, whatever the conditions from the owner.

[Angiew]

 
it's very easy to let our concern for the welfare of cats leave us open to being used. We have a policy that cats we help must be signed over to us and will rarely do more than offer advice if the owner is unwilling to do this (exceptions being neutering).

Though I suppose in reality the owner could not sue you if the kittens had died in your care, I think its just not worth the risk or at least the bad publicity it could cause. When faced with 'hand over or else ' most people are happy to do so.

Its good being in rescue in it?  

[Dawn (DiddyDawn)]

I wouldn't say you're a mug but someone who genuinely cares for these furbabes.  As far as the silly  who you reared them for, I for one would be on the phone to her giving her a piece of my mind, the heartless    Isn't there any way you could find out where they've gone to make sure they've gone to good homes?  I can't believe she's done that, I just hope she didn't just let them go to anyone      

[Corporal Smokey]

I'm sorry to hear that Lesley but if you weren't that person in ther first place, many needy kitten lives would have been lost over the years. For every moron out there, there is a happy ending somewhere else balancing it out. Try to think of all the babies you've helped and hope and pray that these little ones have gone to loving families 

[LesleyW]

I'm beginning to feel I must have MUG written across my forehead.

Had a call approx ten days from the PDSA to say that a cat had been killed and had kittens, could I go and get them.  So on the telephone I get to a lady whose cat it was, had four 4 week old kittens and had been letting mum out and she had got killed by a car.

I offered to take the kittens but NO she didn't want that, she was so sad at the loss of her cat that she wanted to keep all the kittens, but didn't know how to feed or wean them.  So as not to scare her away, we drove 20 miles with my "catbag" full of essentials, gave her milk replacement, bottles, showed her how to feed, how to stimulate, what to do to start weaning and told her if she had ANY problems to phone me.  Laid it on thick about how hard it can be to rear them etc, etc, but no she still wanted to do it.

I think that was on a Thursday.  On the Saturday evening, whilst having dinner at my parents, she phones to say she can't cope, they are not feeding and can I take them and wean them for her BUT she still wants to keep them all.

Now I know what you are all going to say, I AM A MUG, but the kittens' best interests are in my mind so off I go and get said kittens.  Luckily they weaned almost immediately.  Said owner phoned EVERY DAY, sometimes twice to see how they were doing and seemed genuinely attached to the babes so this Saturday we took them back over.  They kindly gave us a donation of £20.

Today I get a phone call from a chap who has just been to look at some kittens that were advertised in a shop window but they had all gone and did I have any.  You can guess what I am going to say - SAME KITTENS. 

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT.  I phoned the chap back and asked if she was SELLING the kittens and he seemed quite embarrassed and said he thought she was just giving them away.  THAT'S EVEN WORSE.  I offered to take them and re-home them so in my eyes she has to have sold them otherwise what was the point of having them back.  They're not even 7 weeks yet.

I feel angry, stupid, let down and absolutely distraught for the kittens - they were absolute stunners and gorgeous little characters but no yet ready to be split up and sent on their merry way.

It makes you want to stop helping people and it makes me very abrupt with the next few people who phone but if the same call came in I would probably do the same for the sake of the kittens.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME, WHY AM I SO GULLIBLE