Ashes

[Bazsmum]

 

[Michelle (furbabystar)]

Massive hugs Michelle    I must say I would have expected it to just be 'dust' as well but I'm glad I know otherwise now or else I would have freaked too when the time comes to scatter Bilbo.

Glad you know now Lottie (if thats the right thing to say?!)
I really freaked out at first and also couldnt believe that was all that was left of my baby
but I realised that was just her outward body, she lives on in my heart forever 

[Lottie (Team Svartalfheim's)]

Massive hugs Michelle    I must say I would have expected it to just be 'dust' as well but I'm glad I know otherwise now or else I would have freaked too when the time comes to scatter Bilbo.

[Wibblechick]

I must have done something right ..... 

When my daughters other Grandather died (my Dad) she must have missed him a lot, because this is her tribute to him

http://www.purrsinourhearts.co.uk/index.php/topic,28132.msg496194.html

Yes, a sense of Loss, but no phobias!!

[Wibblechick]

I got a lot of hassle for letting my then 7 year old daughter go to her paternal Grandfathers funeral

I know I made the right decision, because although no-one enjoys funerals, she isnt as freaked by them as she might be .....

And I loved it, as we were leaving the crem. after my (then) father in laws funeral.  She looked at the smoke coming out of the chimney and said "Do you think Grandpa is flying ?"

[Michelle (furbabystar)]

I think that is the problem, that we make our children afraid of death.
Children should be allowed to go to funerals....and we shouldnt hide tears etc from them! They need to know that death is sad and that crying is ok...and none of these silly stories about people/animals going away on holiday etc
As you have said, when it is hiddenfrom children it makes it scary

[MrsR]

Working in A&E I dealt with death a hell of a lot but when its your own its different.    everyone x

[Bazsmum]

That is how my phobia started WL, via everything being hush hushed in front of me when my nan (who I lived with till approx 8 ) had died and I was not allowed to go to the funeral when I was 11! 

[Wibblechick]

I had a real bad phobia about death,

Once, so did I!!  But it seems that the Gods in their wisdom decided to sort things out .....

All started when my Great Grandmother(Mimi)  died - she hadn't been well and Mum and I had gone to see her (at my Grandparents house - I even had some flowers for her.) I was 10 years old.

There was a lot of whispering when we got there - turned out Mimi had just died - was still in her room and that everyone was waiting for the Undertaker.

Not knowing this I was all set to go upstairs and was stopped


I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral and began to assume that death must be something really really scary - especially with all the grownups crying ....

A good old phobia set in - to be reinforced when my Granfather died a couple of years later  I started to have fearful nightmares - Stephen King Horror Book stuff - Boy, I could outwrite him!!

It took until I was working at an Old Peoples home that  it to begin to subside ....

And finally, when I went to a funeral in Ireland - the full wake, walking behind the coffin to the graveyard etc.  I stopped being so scared. I was very moved by the whole thing.

Had a good old cry and a lot of the fears left.

I'm also a great believer in looking at what scares me, and trying to do something about it, so ....

I did a lot of looking up, reading and asking questions

I have to say our vet helped a great deal - when I had to deal with cat deaths. 

& thats why I feel sad death is still such a big No No subject

OK - ramble over !!!

[Bazsmum]

Strange that death is such a taboo subject ....  I wouldnt want to go back to the Victorian era thing of mourning clothes and open coffins but it still puzzles me that we teach our children about sex and birth, but not death!

I had a real bad phobia about death, took me ages to be able to confront Rainbow Bridge....doing this has helped with part of my fear! 

[MrsR]

  hunine.

My guys are sealed, wouldn't be strong enough to open them.

[Leanne]

Have a look at Wiki - re cremation - its interesting and explains all the processes, also that the "ashes" are actually bone fragments ....

I just did this and I really wish I hadn't, for some reason its really turned my stomach and upset me

Oh - Im sorry      I didnt want to do that at all 

Strange that death is such a taboo subject ....  I wouldnt want to go back to the Victorian era thing of mourning clothes and open coffins but it still puzzles me that we teach our children about sex and birth, but not death!

Oh WC please please don't think I meant anything against you when I posted that   

I don't know really why I read it TBH, for some strange and odd reason it fascinated me which is why I did look, but then when I read it I think it just hit home a bit more than I thought,  possibly because of losing my grandma this year.

[Wibblechick]

Have a look at Wiki - re cremation - its interesting and explains all the processes, also that the "ashes" are actually bone fragments ....

I just did this and I really wish I hadn't, for some reason its really turned my stomach and upset me

Oh - Im sorry      I didnt want to do that at all 

Strange that death is such a taboo subject ....  I wouldnt want to go back to the Victorian era thing of mourning clothes and open coffins but it still puzzles me that we teach our children about sex and birth, but not death!

[Leanne]

Have a look at Wiki - re cremation - its interesting and explains all the processes, also that the "ashes" are actually bone fragments ....

I just did this and I really wish I hadn't, for some reason its really turned my stomach and upset me

[Bazsmum]

Nothing to add to whats already been said just wanted to give you some of these! 

[pappilon]

Oh sweetheart , sending you big  . I have to say  Phoebe was the first cat i had cremated but i couldnt even get her casket out of the bag when i collected her from the vets , i was telling this to my neighbour only last week and i told her i wish i had taken the casket out and looked inside  I knew she has Flynn ashes upstairs so i asked if i could see him and he was in a plastic bag in a beautiful casket, i have to say it wasn't what i expected to see i thought is going to be like human ashes but it was like you said big pieces .
  She will always be in your heart.x

[Millys Mum]

Thats so mean of him after all you went through 
All that can be left is bone so try not to let your mind wander

[Mark]

I just though it would be a powder/dust

And there are a couple of green bits....i hate to think what that is

Bone changes colour when its heated - and different pieces of bone turn different colours ....

PHEW .......Hubby said what colour were her eyes and when i said green he laughed and said "there you go then" 

  Not something to joke about Michelle. The ashes aren't Issey - Just remember her as she was 

[Wibblechick]

PHEW .......Hubby said what colour were her eyes and when i said green he laughed and said "there you go then" 

Tell him to expect a queue of "Purrs Peeps" at the door to kick his B*M!! 

[Michelle (furbabystar)]

I just though it would be a powder/dust

And there are a couple of green bits....i hate to think what that is

Bone changes colour when its heated - and different pieces of bone turn different colours ....

PHEW .......Hubby said what colour were her eyes and when i said green he laughed and said "there you go then" 

[Wibblechick]

I just though it would be a powder/dust

And there are a couple of green bits....i hate to think what that is

Bone changes colour when its heated - and different pieces of bone turn different colours ....

[Michelle (furbabystar)]

Have a look at Wiki - re cremation - its interesting and explains all the processes, also that the "ashes" are actually bone fragments ....

You can see the bone fragments, theres no hiding them WC
Obv i knew the flesh part would be gone but didnt think I would be able to pick out pieces of bone !!!!!
I just though it would be a powder/dust

And there are a couple of green bits....i hate to think what that is

[Wibblechick]

Have a look at Wiki - re cremation - its interesting and explains all the processes, also that the "ashes" are actually bone fragments ....

[Dawn F]

I know with people there is a process to ensure this doesn't happen, I'd assumed it was the same for pets, both Bluto and Algie are scattered in my garden and I had no problems with either

[CC & The Pussycat Guys & Dolls]

I have mine in a sealed casket, so I dont know what they look like but they do rattle if I shake the box, I though it could of been teeth 

Must of been awful for you 

[LesleyW]

My step-daughter took Jarvis to the pet crematorium yesterday for an individual cremation.

When she went back later to collect his ashes they asked if Jarvis had ever had any operations.  She suddenly remembered his fractured leg.  The young girl, who was very nice, said that they had recovered his  metal pin and did she want to see them.

Elizabeth was amazed at the size of the pin and the screws.  The girl asked if she wanted to keep them but Elizabeth declined.  But, as she said, at least she knows it was certainly his ashes she had returned.

Elizabeth went to Dignity Pet Crematorium - I think it is in Hook, but she said they were really nice there and everything was done very respectfully.

Michelle, don't worry about the physical remains that you have seen, their spirit is inside your heart and will be safe there forever, unharmed and untouched

[clarenmax]

I've not looked at Max's ashes as they're sealed in the casket, but would imagine they are all similar?

Sending you a massive 

[Janeyk]

Michelle  We have all our cat's ashes but tbh I've not really had a good look I just tend to look at the cask    I have, however, just been to look at Schui's to check and some inside his are, amongst the dusty bits and without going into too much detail - a little a bit large too - is that what you mean? 

I have most of her in a wooden cat but had some in a scatter box as i wanted to put some with Missy.
I just opened the scatter box and there is a plastic bag....not much dust but loads of dark grey and light grey pieces, some a Centimeter long
I can even see whole bits of bone with the hole in the middle....oh Jane it was wasn't was i expected and really upset me.

It probably looks worse because they are separated but I would imagine all ashes are very much the same    I can totally understand your feeling upset it upsets me too to see them and why I tend not to look.  Like Sheryl says, their spirits are still with us and we have to remember that because that is the main thing, they'll never leave us 

[sheryl]

Oh sweetie - great big  and I am so sorry that it has upset you.  I have got Roxys ashes here but have never been strong enough to open the box.

At the end of the day Hun just remember that hers and Missys spirits are still complete and still with you xxx

[Michelle (furbabystar)]

Michelle  We have all our cat's ashes but tbh I've not really had a good look I just tend to look at the cask    I have, however, just been to look at Schui's to check and some inside his are, amongst the dusty bits and without going into too much detail - a little a bit large too - is that what you mean? 

I have most of her in a wooden cat but had some in a scatter box as i wanted to put some with Missy.
I just opened the scatter box and there is a plastic bag....not much dust but loads of dark grey and light grey pieces, some a Centimeter long
I can even see whole bits of bone with the hole in the middle....oh Jane it was wasn't was i expected and really upset me.

[Wibblechick]

Aw, Michelle 

Im pretty sure all is quite normal ....

Without going into too much detail, its one of the reasons there are all sorts of rules and regulations about the dispersal of Human ashes ..... 

[Janeyk]

Michelle  We have all our cat's ashes but tbh I've not really had a good look I just tend to look at the cask    I have, however, just been to look at Schui's to check and some inside his are, amongst the dusty bits and without going into too much detail - a little a bit large too - is that what you mean? 

[Leanne]

Oh blimey  I don't know what to say that would freak me out as well to be honest

  for you

[Michelle (furbabystar)]

I just opened the scatter box thought it would be like dust but its quite large pieces
its totally freaked me out 
I feel sick