My sad attempt at a tribute to Napoleon,
I just cant think of all the things to say my special boy as I am just too upset and my head feels dead without you.
You were the light of my life, my special blue-eyed boy and I am missing you to pieces.
You were only with me just over 5 years and I remember when Angie brought you and your bro. We opened the cage where you both were and you went straight out into the hall to the basket with the toys in, not that you really ever played with any of them.
You howled and howled at top of your voice when you were shut in the front room over night and you scratched the carpet up behind the door and I couldnt get in, oh what a panic and of course as I was trying to get in, you were ttrying to get out!
When you were eventually set free you rushed straight up the stairs into the bedroom and took it over from Misa and Sasa, it was your room and your bed and it remained your room forever.
When I was using the old pc in the study, Misa used to lie on the table by my arm but you shoved your way in and took that over too, you had to be closest to me and touching.
When I got this lappy I moved into the front room and you followed, in front of the lappy velcroed under my chin, or lying on my typing arm so you had all the attention, or you would put one front paw either side of my neck and then lick my face. You had to be the closest you could be and licks turned into nips that broke the skin on my face. You bit my nose and chin and it got to be a bit dangerous for me but I think you were grooming me and when you groomed yourself, it always ended up with biting your skin at the bottom of your fur but then your skin was so much tougher than mine.
You thought I was a cat and you loved me so much, as I did you.
You were the most cuddly and soft and beautiful Catman who would only answer to Napoleon but also I learnt only in the last couple of months you liked Catman too.
Life is so fragile and I have so many wishes and what ifs. I tried to be the best meowmy in the world to you Napoleon and I am so sorry that sometimes I hurt your feelings when I was stressed. I always came back to say sorry and I think you forgave me because you would be back cuddling and shouting at me.
You didnt purr very often but when you did it was a lovely deep bass purr and I felt so honored that you would Purr to me.
You had certain expressions that I have never caught on film that were the most adorable that could be imagined. I have never been able to get a true likeness of you in paint or pencil but I will keep trying, I am sure I can do it if I persevere.
Today Misa is missing you so badly and also Ducha your little brother, I brought you home last night so they could say goodbye and only Misa tried but he didnt understand and he is now looking for you. He gave you a head lick when you were home on Monday and he really loved you.
You slept by my side last night, so peaceful and soft and my hand and arm smelt of the stuff that they used to clean your face and fur yesterday, you smelt so lovely and today they gave me the bottle of that stuff, cos this smell will always remind me of you .
I have hardly anything of yours cos you shared with all the other cats and the biggest thing that you consistently loved was me but I have some bits of your fur which are very precious and one whisker of the tabby variety that was on the vets table yesterday. Also your cushion from yesterday which I have sprayed with your special smell and it has a tiny bit of your fur on. I will treasure these forever.
I wrote you a message to go with you today (RIP NAPOLEON 23 Aug 93-10 May 11 I love you so much baby man Play hard on the Bridge Your meowmy will have you in her heart forever Grief is the last gift I can give) and also gave you a tulip from the garden and some forget- me-nots, I have the pictures of course but no where near as many good ones that I should have. I treasure every memory of you, every time we cuddled and you for all your cheeky boy stuff.
You are the most loved cat and you will always be a Purr in my Heart. You were so handsome and a once in a lifetime wonderful boy.
I love you so much my heart is breaking.
RIP my wonderful Napoleon, please send me a message to say you arrived safely on the Bridge and say hi to Kocka and all the other Purrs cats . I think you have sent me a message tonight cos I was woken up by you shouting in my ear. If you can manage a rainbow that would be wonderful.
I will come onto the path to the Bridge to see you for a short while on the day before Christmas cos we didnt have Christmas this year, which I so regret but you did manage to worm your way in for proper cuddles infront of Pussy.
I always thought there would be Christmas this year for us and I never expected you to leave so suddenly. Looking back on this thread, you have been ill so many times and I just wanted a record of what happened, you have suffered so much but you always fought back and you tried so hard this time too.
I am so sorry for putting you through yesterdays treatment and would never have done if I had known how bad your levels were. I tried so hard to do the very best for you but I failed yesterday and it haunts me. Please forgive me Napoleon for any times I have let you down, I didnt mean to do anything bad cos I loved you so much.
