Author Topic: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie  (Read 2928 times)

Offline Hippykitty

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #17 on: April 21, 2007, 15:08:32 PM »
I'm rubbish at maths too! But Desley's piece is intended to be read. I've known people who would have trouble understanding complex sentences and words of more than two syllables. No offence to them, that's just life.

Must go, off to mum's for the weekend. Hope cats will be okay. I'm leaving them for 48 hrs with lots of food and water! They're always fine on my return, even though I worry!  :) No internet at mum's so have a nice weekend everyone.  ;D
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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #16 on: April 21, 2007, 14:59:33 PM »
Wasn't offended hippykitty, just don't like when peeps generalise people in such a way. It just gets my goat thats all. Of course I know some people are less advantaged with things, but thats across the board, you could be smart and still have trouble reading.

I'm a good reader but totally rubbish with maths, just depends on what your weaknesses are.

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Offline Hippykitty

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #15 on: April 21, 2007, 14:38:23 PM »
I made those comments about who you're aiming at because I've known some people with a very limited vocab. They may be the very people who need to know this info!

But it's generally okay as it stands. I'll be very busy this weekend anyway. Didn't mean to offend.   :hug:
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Offline Desley (booktigger)

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2007, 10:46:14 AM »
Thanks folks, that shall be going on the new website soon then.
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Offline forever_missing_my_boys(Lisa)

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #13 on: April 20, 2007, 21:00:19 PM »
i also think its well written Des
MUMMY TO TODD THE DOG AND MOLLY,BAILEY,BRIDIE,FLOSSY
,PICKLES,MAKOSI AND MAX THE CATS
 I :catluv: CATS

( A Kitten/Cat is for Life )

( A LIFE IS A LIFE WHEATHER LAMB OR MAN )
NO ONE LIFE IS MORE PRECIOUS THEN ANOTHER

FOREVER MISSING MY PRECIOUS BRIDGE BABES SNOWY AND BUBBLES :candle:

ccmacey

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #12 on: April 20, 2007, 14:36:32 PM »
Hippykitty I don't think what you have posted is very fair, I understand the meaning of those words and I'm not of a higher education. I don't think it fair to judge people in that way.

I think its written very well Des, understandable to all.  :)
« Last Edit: April 20, 2007, 14:39:20 PM by ccmacey »

Offline Desley (booktigger)

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #11 on: April 20, 2007, 13:28:50 PM »
No, I dont think it is cheeky at all, I am grateful of the help.

No idea - it is to put on our website to try and make it more interesting, and by only cats we know (all bar 2 are CAT77 cats, I am deliberately putting 2 of my own on to highlight certain issues, both those stories are done though), it makes it a bit more personal. So, it could be anyone reading it.

OK, that isn't a prob, and thanks everso much for the help. I am trying to write one about fostering, but struggling immensely on that, will post it up when I ever get it done though!!
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Offline Hippykitty

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2007, 22:19:49 PM »
That's much better. If you don't think it's cheeky, I'll copy-edit it for you; just altering the punctuation and sentence structures.

One thing I'd like to know: what kind of reader is this aimed at? If you're aiming it at someone with an average, or above average, education level, then that aspect is okay; however, if you want it to be understood by someone with a very low literacy level, then phrases like "people's perception of them" (not sure you need the apostrophe on a pronoun, will check that) should be altered to something like "people's idea of them" etc

The syntax of the first sentence would be better if altered slightly. I'd love to do it for you.

Please let me know who your reader is and I'll go over it for you.  (who/whom? I always get that wrong!)
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Offline Littlebobo

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2007, 14:09:56 PM »
Des, I think that reads very well .xx
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Offline tab

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2007, 13:51:26 PM »
I think thats really good. It was very interesting and I like to hear the personal side of it rather than the facts and figures.
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Offline Desley (booktigger)

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2007, 13:23:10 PM »
Hmm, had highlighted a few things that I wasn't sure about, they dont seem to have transferred over!!
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Offline Desley (booktigger)

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2007, 13:22:10 PM »
Here is the second draft - i might have made it too personal now!! And am not sure whether it is too long to prevent people reading it.

I am a fosterer for CAT77, I foster cats of all ages, but for my permanent cats, I only take on cats over the age of 10 years old, my current two are Tiger, 13 and Molly, 14, both came as fosters and were overlooked, so after months of trying to find them homes, I adopted them. Molly’s story can be found here

I wanted to share my experience of why I went down the route of oldies, in the hope that it changes people’s perception of them, and go on to offer one the loving home environment they deserve.

My first cat was a 14 year old, sadly she wasn’t with me long, and I then went to the local CP to adopt another cat, as the house was simply too empty. I was debating whether oldies would be my ‘thing’ then, but they only had a 5 year old in, so I adopted her thinking that at her age, I would have her for years, while my oldies came and went, and that might make it easier. She was a brown tabby who I called Tigger.

The same day, my parents told me about a stray near them, I debated with the cost of 2 cats, and the week after, I went and picked him up, the vet estimated him to be 11, he was called Ginger by the people in the neighbourhood, you can guess his colour! Gingers story can be found here.

Sadly, after 8 months, Tigger became ill, and was diagnosed with an incurable illness. As she was the second cat I had lost in 10 months, I decided that I would prefer to adopt oldies from now on, it can bring heartache, but that is offset by the knowledge that you have given that cat a second chance in their twilight years, and that they have ended their life in a loving home environment rather than a rescue, which is what they all deserve.

Ginger ended up having 4 years and 1 month with me, my longest resident here, and he saw a lot of cats, both permanent and fosters, come and go. Out of the two of them, I never expected him to be the one I had for years, while others, both younger and older than himself, came and went. 

There are a lot of benefits towards adopting golden oldies, they are a lot calmer, and happy to be left alone all day while you are out at work, with no destruction cos they got bored!! They do still like to play though, Molly regularly chases her tail on the bed – either as I am deciding to go to bed myself, or at 6am in the morning, when she thinks I should be up as well!!

Another thing that can be off putting is the cost, but this needn’t be that much of an issue. There are insurance companies who will insure cats over the age of 8, Marks and Spencer and Sainsbury’s are the ones that I would recommend, and I personally use Sainsbury’s, they have insured 4 of mine, I didn’t know about pet insurance before. They paid out over £700 for just one of my cats last year, and the cost per month isn’t that high for a moggie.

We can also help towards the cost of vet bills for 12 year old + adopted through ourselves, as long as you can use our vet and we approve it first.
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Offline Desley (booktigger)

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2007, 15:59:18 PM »
No, of course I dont mind - this is the reason i have posted, despite doing well in English at school, I know I am quite poor at writing at times!! Dont need to explain about CAT77, as the stories will be on our dedicated website, so that explains who we are and what we do. No restrictions, except I wasn't sure people would want to read loads of text,but will re-write tonight with names and more details. The reason I had linked the two was really to show that I am part of hte branch, and it isn't just a random person writing it. Thanks for your help in this, I appreciate it.
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Offline Hippykitty

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2007, 14:22:56 PM »
Do you mind me saying that this is too much like sterile reporting. I think some detail about the cats and circumstances would make your readers CARE about the situation more. Your writing style is a little confusing. It would be likely that a reader who didn't truly care about the problem in the first place would give up trying to sort out all the cats you're talking about.

Unless you have restrictions concerning the length, add some graphic detail about the cats and what happened to them. Give them names and individuality.

What is CAT77? If you haven't said elsewhere, then explain this. For all the reader knows, it could be a Russian spy! Separate the thoughts "I adopt for CAT77" and "adopting oldies"; don't link them.

Putting "Also" before the MAJOR part about the vet discount, weakens it. Make more of this by putting it as a separate, highlighted paragraph. It's a big inducement to adopt an oldie. Make more of it.

If I knew the details of the cats in this piece, I'd gladly have a bash at it.

Imagine yourself in the place of these 3 readers:

1) A quick-witted, critical reader who will pick up on anything muddled.

2) A slow, uncertain reader who won't try very hard, but will become confused and irritated.

3) A reader with an eye for the comic; who laughs when he isn't intended to.

Read your writing, first through the eyes of number one, then number two etc

What needs changing?

Sorry about the elementary lesson in writing, but it's a hobby of mine. I hope this helps.

« Last Edit: April 17, 2007, 14:25:11 PM by Hippykitty »
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Offline Desley (booktigger)

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2007, 21:38:03 PM »
Any alterations to this before I submit it for the website?
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Offline Ela

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Re: More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2007, 10:53:18 AM »
oops, wrong topic sorry

« Last Edit: April 12, 2007, 10:55:46 AM by Ela »
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Offline Desley (booktigger)

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More website stories - consider adopting an oldie
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2007, 09:58:25 AM »
Just doing some more stories to make the website a bit more interesting, and just wanted opinions on two of them. Anything else I can add to this??

As well as fostering for CAT77, I now only adopt 'oldies', my current two are 13 and 14, both have come through CAT77 (Molly's story can be found here). I have adopted one youngster, a 5yo old, and I adopted an 11yo the week after. Sadly, I lost the 5yo to illness after only 8 months, while the 11yo was with me 4 years and 1 month, so it just shows that you can have years with an oldie, and none of us ever know how long we will have a loved pet for.

The other thing that is normally off putting is the cost - while there can be a greater chance of illnesses, younger cats are still susceptible, and this is why we recommend pet insurance. There are a few insurance companies that will insure cats over the age of 8, the two I would recommend are Sainsbury's and Marks and Spencer. I personally use Sainsbury's and have had 5 cats aged between 10 and 14.5, they have paid out over £700 for one of my cats alone, and the cost per month isn't that bad, teh most I have paid is £10.66 per month. Also, if you can use our vet, we will help towards the cost in any cat over the age of 12 adopted through us.

If this has swayed you to consider an oldie, here is a link to the cats currently in our care. Alternatively, you could sponsor one of them.
« Last Edit: April 12, 2007, 10:58:37 AM by Desley (booktigger) »
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