Topic: Bereaved (Read 8739 times)

Tan · « **Reply #27 on:** June 18, 2015, 12:27:31 PM »

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #26 on:** April 07, 2015, 19:24:41 PM »

Could be, Nigel. If you can be patient with introductions. What is Lola like? What are her characteristics? I think if you choose a cat companion with care, he or she should fit in very well. There's a link I have somewhere with some great info but will need to be on big poota to find it. Can't do copy/paste on the kindle.

NigelBC · « **Reply #25 on:** April 07, 2015, 09:58:47 AM »

Thanks Gill, An4rew and all for your kind messages.
It has got easier over time, thanks to PIOH and the excellent Blue Cross pet bereavement service.
I'm now thinking of how things can be made better for Lola, Sparky's sister who is missing her brother still (she goes out to wait for him most evenings). I am wondering whether another cat would be company for her?

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #24 on:** March 30, 2015, 18:40:07 PM »

an4rew · « **Reply #23 on:** March 29, 2015, 23:16:05 PM »

my condolences to you Nigel, i know what your going through.

its awful, i hope in time we can both heal.

hollycat · « **Reply #22 on:** February 28, 2015, 20:47:56 PM »

So sorry for your loss. I spoke to the Blue Cross as well when I lost my Tigger then Lulu. They are very good.

jezebel · « **Reply #21 on:** February 24, 2015, 12:28:40 PM »

Quote from: NigelBC on February 24, 2015, 12:09:07 PM

Jezebel, I love your strap line!

Thank you - alas, it's not mine! I paraphrased it (I think the original said "dog").

NigelBC · « **Reply #20 on:** February 24, 2015, 12:24:07 PM »

Yes - I had a shock last week when I thought Lola was sleeping on the sofa and she walked in through the back door. It's only recently I've appreciated how alike they are.

Lola seems to have needed extra love since Sparky passed - or perhaps she realises that we do!

souffle · « **Reply #19 on:** February 24, 2015, 12:16:41 PM »

Sparky is very handsome.

They look very alike for sure and I'm sure you realise he left a little bit of him with his sister and with you x

NigelBC · « **Reply #18 on:** February 24, 2015, 12:09:07 PM »

Jezebel, I love your strap line!

Losing Sparky has really made me value the work of cat rescue charities (such as Celia Hammond Animal Trust, who rescued Sparky's mum and her family) all the more.

jezebel · « **Reply #17 on:** February 24, 2015, 11:15:14 AM »

Gorgeous photos!

NigelBC · « **Reply #16 on:** February 24, 2015, 10:19:20 AM »

Thanks Soufflé - it is getting better

You can see a pic of Sparky (and Lola if you look carefully) at https://www.flickr.com/photos/boxley/3372904320/in/set-72157615832357552

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #15 on:** February 23, 2015, 15:24:38 PM »

Lola is lovely and am sure she misses her bro a bit but funny how cats manage to kind of live two lives, one with their fur family to keep the peace and the other totally self indulgent

souffle · « **Reply #14 on:** February 23, 2015, 15:19:04 PM »

aww she is just beautiful. I am glad she is settling down a bit now and hope that you too are feeling a little less sad x

NigelBC · « **Reply #13 on:** February 23, 2015, 14:55:01 PM »

This is Lola https://www.flickr.com/photos/boxley/15989610414/, who lost her brother Sparky two weeks ago after a sudden illness.

Lola is now top cat in her home; she eats her dinner in peace, no longer worries about Sparky pouncing on her or taking the best spot on the sofa.

But I think she misses him anyway.

alisonandarchie · « **Reply #12 on:** February 21, 2015, 08:13:03 AM »

So sorry Nigel and glad Lola is there to help you through it

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #11 on:** February 20, 2015, 07:11:29 AM »

Cats are like us - they each react differently to the grieving process, but grieve they do.

Lola may well thrive being the only cat. The great thing is that you're all there for each other. In time, you will all adjust, and will move forwards, and meanwhile we're here if you want to hang out with folk who know what it is to lose a much loved cat companion.

NigelBC · « **Reply #10 on:** February 19, 2015, 16:35:12 PM »

Thanks for your reply Stuart et al

It has been very helpful sharing on here - I feel it is very important to engage with other cat lovers.

On a positive note, I think Sparky's sister Lola is responding to the extra attention she deserves and although she knows her world is different, she's not looking for her brother so much. It's worse for her of course - she's known Sparky the longest!

Stuart · « **Reply #9 on:** February 18, 2015, 20:56:31 PM »

So sorry mate

I know exactly what you are going through..... you must remember that Sparky was a big part of your life and it will take time
You will find you will go through the grieving process, and start thinking about all the what if's......... did this with my Hamish

although He was 17, I was racked with guilt because I never noticed he was unwell............ Hamish's loss hit me pretty hard
that was how I initially found Purrs, asking for advice as he was diagnosed with CRF ( kidney failure ) little did I know that it would
only be five days after joining that I had to say goodbye to my wee mannie

Everyone on here is like minded and understand what you are going through, in that aspect, I got comfort from talking to people
who understood where I was coming from..
You are in the right place and we are all here for you

another thing which helped me was I still had my Misty, you still have Lola, try and keep your mind off the sad thoughts and concentrate
on loving Lola even more

Tigerlily (Allison) · « **Reply #8 on:** February 18, 2015, 19:59:13 PM »

So sorry for your loss Nigel

NigelBC · « **Reply #7 on:** February 18, 2015, 08:52:47 AM »

Thank you Soufflé and everyone for your kind comments. The suggestion about the Blue Cross is particularly helpful.

Sparky had a terrific life, which he seized with all four paws. I just wish he'd had more of it although I'm reminded that if it were not for the Blue Cross, Celia Hammond (through whom Lola and Sparky came to us) and others, many cats would have no life at all, or a pretty abysmal one.

Pictures soon, although you can see Sparky (left) on my user ID.

Gill (sneakiefeline) · « **Reply #6 on:** February 17, 2015, 21:21:52 PM »

So sorry for your loss and agree with everythings the others have said

I used the blue Cross service after losing my first cat, they were very good. Had to use email cos couldnt talk on phone

Jiji · « **Reply #5 on:** February 17, 2015, 19:53:06 PM »

So very sorry to hear about Sparky

He was obviously a much loved member of the family so it is no wonder you feel his loss so keenly. It will get easier with time

Sue P (Paddysmum) · « **Reply #4 on:** February 17, 2015, 18:08:07 PM »

Quote from: jezebel on February 17, 2015, 16:55:09 PM

Aww, sweetheart, a week is nothing, especially as Sparky's passing was so sudden and at such a young age. Give yourself time to grieve properly and the hurt will start to fade.

Sadly, feeling guilty is a normal part of the process. It will fade too.

Couldnt agree more. The grieving process will take time, and it's not easy.

I think all of us know the awful devastating hole that we fall into when we lose one of our beloved animals in this way, and its so very hard when they're young too.

My heart goes out to you and your family. Be gentle with yourself. If you feel able, you could think about creating a memorial for Sparky, or you could post some pictures of your beautiful boy on this, his special thread.

Many of us do so, in remembrance of those we've lost and loved. In time, you will be able to remember the special times, the happy times, and they will help to ease the pain - not at first, because everything is still much too raw.

jezebel · « **Reply #3 on:** February 17, 2015, 16:55:09 PM »

Aww, sweetheart, a week is nothing, especially as Sparky's passing was so sudden and at such a young age. Give yourself time to grieve properly and the hurt will start to fade.

Sadly, feeling guilty is a normal part of the process. It will fade too.

souffle · « **Reply #2 on:** February 17, 2015, 13:24:28 PM »

I am so sorry for your loss and the sadness you feel. I think many have us have been there and felt the sense of doubt you feel now but it does get better and only time can heal your heart. Never doubt your choice though. Doubt and regret are a waste of emotional energy and eat away at your soul. Remember that any choice made from love is always the right choice. It has to be. You had the strength to give him peace and freedom from suffering when he needed it and the price you pay is losing a very special part of your life.
It will get better and you will be able to look back and smile. Let yourself be sad but also let things move on. Lola will sense your sadness and also has her own to deal with. She will need lots of tenderness and contact and kind words to help her through this. She shared a journey with you and she is not ready to go yet so focus on her and give each other lots of love.
You may want to talk with someone at the Blue Cross
http://www.bluecross.org.uk/2083/pet-bereavement-support-service.html
I hope that soon your heart will start to heal x

NigelBC · « **Reply #1 on:** February 17, 2015, 12:16:42 PM »

I can't stop thinking about my beautiful tabby, Sparky, who had to be euthanised following a sudden illness a week ago. I'm still in shock and still can't shake off the (illogical) notion that I let him down.

He was such a great cat, affable, happy and loved his life with us and his sister Lola. He was only six and we're all grieving terribly, including Lola who keeps looking for her brother, crying and over grooming.

The pain is showing no sign of dissipating and I don't know what to do.

Author Topic: Bereaved (Read 8739 times)