Author Topic: Hi everyone, some help needed :(  (Read 2799 times)

Offline Bazsmum

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2009, 10:44:57 AM »
So sorry to hear about your situation Lauren and hope you manage to sort things out very soon  :hug:

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Offline Janeyk

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2009, 09:24:38 AM »
So sorry to hear about your situation Lauren and hope you manage to sort things out very soon  :hug:
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Offline clarenmax

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2009, 09:20:18 AM »
Hi Lauren, I hope you find somewhere for the furries, and sending you a  :hug: as this sounds like a very difficult situation with your Mum  :hug:

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Offline AliCat

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #14 on: October 06, 2009, 22:06:34 PM »
I hope you find someone who can take them soon.  :hug:

Offline Rosella moggy

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #13 on: October 06, 2009, 08:54:14 AM »
You've been on my mind overnight Lauren and just want to send you a big :hug:

We've been through hell on and off over the years with my brother (also tried to end his life twice) but you know... he just rang me to tell me about something on the radio and he sounded quite chipper in a normal sort of way and, from nowhere, just volunteered "not sure if I've ever properly thanked you for what you've done blah blah blah"  So lovely of him  :).  When people are suffering from mental illness I'm afraid it's just a given that they are extremely self centred because they are ill.  Friends and family suffer a great deal not least because of not knowing what to do for the best and the medical profession being unable to be fully open with them.  I'm not at all surprised you were angry with the member of staff you spoke to.  It is terribly frustrating.  I recall only too well a doctor trying to infer my brother at one time was putting it on.  I could have screamed but they might have locked me up  ;)

Can I just offer two words of friendly advice.  You must try very hard to detach yourself on occasion as otherwise you will be dragged down too and that does no one any good.  Secondly, there really is light at the end of the tunnel.  My brother has been ill since the mid 1980s and his last really bad episode was back in 2000. 

I sincerely hope proper help is given to your mom and that she can find the strength to fight to find something to enjoy.  Also hope you are able to have a happy life too with your puds.

Offline Sam (Fussy_Furball)

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #12 on: October 05, 2009, 21:45:10 PM »
Oh Lauren I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum and your situation  :hug:  I can't really offer much more advice than has already been given but you are amongst friends here and if it helps we are all very good listeners.

I really hope your Mum feels better soon and that you and your kitties will be able to stay together  :hug:
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Offline Millys Mum

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #11 on: October 05, 2009, 18:56:05 PM »
Whilst your looking for property it would be very wise to get them on waiting lists for rescues, it wont hurt if you end up not needing the spaces they just get offered to someone else, bluecross do well with oldies so dont fear for them due to age ;D If you end up looking in to catteries do PM me and i can tell you good and bad.


Offline lollylarry

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2009, 23:22:41 PM »
Firstly thank you ALL for the replies and kind words.
I understand what many of you are saying about my mum possibly changing her mind when she's home and needing the cats.
But the thing is, these cats are family cats but I'm the cat lover - they are more like my cats. she doesn't have the bond with them that i have.
As of late she's even 'blamed' them for her 'keeping her ill'.
Her friend asked her to consider the cats, but she said she doesn't care what happens to them.
At the moment she thinks nothing is worth living for and that everyone and everything will be better off without her.
It's a very complicated situation, and there are so many more factors in this. :(

Also JackSpratt - Thankyou so much for contacting MIND to find out more, that is very very kind of you.

Millys Mum -
I really have no idea how long someone would have to foster them for, I'm going to be asking friends etc if they can look after them until i either find my own place, my mums partner finds a place to live permanently, my mum gets a bit better and changes her mind or if all else fails i have the time to find them a permenant home with someone i trusted . I really hope that wouldn't be the case tho.
They are all vaccinated, but never had boosters.
Ruby is 1 and a half, Kipper is 15 and Phoebe is 12.
Thank you for asking around for me, i will also take a note of local cattery's if need be.

And finally Rosella Moggy -
Your brothers situation sounds very similar to my mums in that she can hardly do anything for herself, i have been looking after her for the last few years, she has no motivation to wash, dress even eat, let alone look after the cats.
I called the place she is in today to try and find out when she will be coming home, but they were extremely unhelpful, the woman on the phone said that if my mum hasn't made contact with me that she will respect her wishes and not tell me anything.
I then got angry and said how after hearing from my mums friend that she thinks she's coming home next week ( she took an overdose and still is saying she is wants to end her life) that she should not be allowed home and how i have a right to know whats happening to my mum she said she would pass on my concerns and then hung up on me. So i hope i will be contacted when she is discharged, i just hope it's not so soon, I'm so scared for her.

I have no control over the situation but i will try and do the best for my girls and make sure they are OK in all of this, they can sense the mood in the house hold, and i feel so bad for them.

Thank you all for the help so far x

Offline Rosella moggy

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #9 on: October 04, 2009, 22:04:29 PM »
The phrase "serious depression" can cover many very serious mental illnesses.  I have a brother who suffers from such an illness and becomes seriously ill on occasion.  He had a cat that he loved dearly but, following a bad episode in 2000, he could barely look after himself let alone a cat.  His cat has lived with my mom ever since.  Without wishing to offend anyone, I think Lauren and her family know the situation best.  It is very sad and I think sending a message to MIND for any suggestions was a good idea JS

 :welcome: to Purrs Lauren.  I hope you manage to sort something out for your 3 cats.  Have you any idea when your mom may be discharged or is that a "how long is a piece of string" sort of question?  Hopefully she will have lots of support available to her when she comes home  :hug:

Offline maryas

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2009, 21:25:10 PM »
I too have had very bad bouts of depression and I think that when your mum comes out of hospital she may NEED the cats.  I suppose you will have to wait and see.

I wasn't keen on human company but I always wanted my cat.

Good luck.

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Offline JackSpratt

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2009, 21:03:11 PM »
Have to admit, being someone that suffers with depression, you do have lows where you say things that aren't necessarily really how you feel but a reaction to a situation at the time. My cats were my reason for getting out of bed for quite a while when I went through a bad patch.

Having said that, it's not up to us to analyse your Mums decision. I'm sure there's a trust of some description that might be able to help due to it being a mental health issue.

EDIT: Have sent a message to MIND (leading mental health organisation in the UK) asking for input. Also - welcome to Purrs; I forgot to say that!
« Last Edit: October 04, 2009, 21:05:31 PM by JackSpratt »




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Offline Kay and Penny

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2009, 20:49:31 PM »
hi, and  :welcome:

an empty house doesn't sound a recipe for recovery for someone very depressed

and pets are proven to be very good for mental health - it's impossible really for anyone on a forum to advise you in a situation like this, but I would agree with Sheryl that the situation might well change
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Offline sheryl

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2009, 20:39:52 PM »
Im sorry to hear of your dilema - you may find that when your Mum comes out of hospital she will want the company - depression can make people say and do things they really dont mean.

Sorry I cant help but good luck and  :welcome: tp Purrs x
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Offline Millys Mum

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2009, 19:21:38 PM »
What kind of time frame are you expecting someone to foster them for? How old are they? I'll ask around but realistically i think you will struggle to find someone with space to keep them. Are they vaccinated? If so you could try to strike a deal with a boarding cattery, it wont be cheap but one other way of keeping them as yours.
Good luck


Offline lollylarry

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #3 on: October 04, 2009, 18:35:19 PM »
thank you so much x

Offline Gill (sneakiefeline)

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Re: Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #2 on: October 04, 2009, 18:32:28 PM »
I am moving this to General Cat Chat for a bigger audience  :hug:

Offline lollylarry

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Hi everyone, some help needed :(
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2009, 18:22:46 PM »
My name is Lauren and i'm currently in a dilema!
I have 3 cats Kipper, Phoebe and Ruby who live at my family home.
Unfortunately my mother suffers from serious depression, she recently had a break down and is currently in hospital - she has told me that when she is allowed home she wants to come home to an empty house.
That includes the cats not being here  :-[
I can't take them because i myself have to leave home, 'm going to move in with my partners parents, and my mothers other half has also been asked to leave and will be staying at the local pub until he can find a place to live, whenever that might be.
I wanted to explain my story before i ask for help/ advice, because this situation really is breaking my heart and filling me with worry.
I just wanted to know if anybody knows of any organisation or people who would foster my girls until i can find a permenant solution, i really don't want to rehome these cats, they are my family - i have had one since i was 7years old.
I live in colchester Essex.
Any help or advice would be so much appreciated.
Thanks so much.

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