Lost - my beautiful Buddy - Traumatised but home after 58 days

[miriambuddy]

We still have a very long way to go, part of my talking to him is telling him he is being daft!

[Janeyk]

Glad to hear things are improving 

[Dawn F]

sounds like buddy is improving - you've done an amazing job!

[Bazsmum]

Im so pleased that Buddy is still making progress....you must also be proud of you too as through your love and patience this has happened! 

[miriambuddy]

I don't think I have ever met a shrew!, Dead or alive!

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Shrews are like mice but with pointed noses and they have a lovely coat......afraid I only see dead ones cos my lot hunt them.

Buddy sounds like he is coming on 

[miriambuddy]

Hi Bombay cat, I am so happy that Mia is all happy, question, what are shrews?, are they like mice?, I'm a city girl and don't know! Please don't feel guilty that Mia came home before Buddy, it's a miracle both of them made it home!
Buddy is still in recovery, I see small steps he makes, he will eat in front of me more as long as I pretend I can't see him. And he is talking to me, albeit from under the sofa but I always talk back to acknowledge I know he is there.

It prob won't be for a good couple of months more before he can go in the garden again but at least I know he is safe and well!.

[bombaycat]

Hi Miriam,

I only just saw this as I've not checked in for a while (I sort of felt guilty after Mia came back and Buddy was still missing). I'm absolutely thrilled you found him, just read the last month or so of the saga....obviously taking a while to settle back in but I'm sure you'll sort it out eventually in time. I've only just been able to let Mia out unsupervised as they cut the dreaded wheat a couple of weeks ago - since then she's been off hunting shrews which Ted her brother eats - up to 7 in a weekend.
I've already had to worm them all as a result.
Every time I let her out I kiss her and say goodbye just in case its the last time i see her but she loves it so much I can't keep her in she cries for hours to get out when I do lock her in the house. I'm just about ok now when she's out and about as she seems to be in control of where she is now there's no wheat to get lost in. I have Loc8tor trackers on them and have tracked her down the hedges a few times when I was still supervising - very amusing to have to crawl into the hawthorn to grab a wriggling monster and take her home.

Anyway enough about my monsters - very best wishes with Buddy, and very well done for not giving up hope and getting him back home.

[Bazsmum]

This is really weird and such a coincedence relevant to this.... Blackie my ex feral has started to call out to.... I have heard this for quite some time and thought it was one of the others! 

I only found out it was him today when he was at the bottom of the stairs doing it.... he stopped and brrrr'd as soon as Gizzy (his pal) came! 

[bonnielass]

They may be little steps but its a tremendous progress so keep up the good vibes your getting there

[Bazsmum]

You just keep plodding on being your cheery singing self as it does sound as though the penny may have started to drop with him.... Hope so! 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

every little step is wonderful 

[miriambuddy]

Thanks everyone, I think he is starting to take small steps as earlier he was looking at me in the bath!, so maybe he is starting to realise this weird human person is not too bad!

[Mark]

Miriam when he cries have you tried calling him ... he may be lonely and by you calling him to you it will reassure him that you are still in the house.  You never know he may come to you   

That is what we do with Alice - she has taken to crying really loudly but as soon as I appear, it turns to a normal miow - she is a little attention-seeking madam  - she even does it if she realises we are engrossed in a film or something. She never used to do it but I do think it is to seek reassurance. Oddly she never did it when she was shut up in the attic alone. It is a blood-curdling yowl but I know there is nothing wrong 

[RockysMum]

Hi Miriam,

i haven't been around on here for a while and was so completely thrilled to read that buddy was home! I actually cried when i read back through your thread. I'm so happy for you. It's such a shame that he's been left traumatised by going missing but I'm sure he'll gradually improve. it sounds like you're doing everything right and with all that love and patience from you he's bound to get better! he's such a little survivor to have managed on his own for so long. I'm sure he'll get through this period of re-adjustment too. it must be so hard because you just want your happy boy back. Time and lots of love will get him through xx

[trigger]

am glad you have ruled out a vet visit for the time being

I do think the secret in continuing Buddy's progress is to have as long a period as possible in which nothing directly threatens him - he will then trust that whatever  is going on in the flat is nothing to do with him

that will make him a happier cat as well as encouraging him to explore more and more

[Liz]

Sounds like little steps are working - we have a couple who talk and yowl - all ex feral and they seem to do it mostly in the middle of the night we just reaassure them they are safe and it seems to stop

I would just keep doing what you are doing as it seems to be working for you both - time and love is the best medicine

[miriambuddy]

so at 1.13 am I wake to a little cry sounds, taking the advice, I talk and sing gently to him and he stops. I could sense that he had come out and was by the side of my bed but I didn't know if I can look at him when he does this or not so I didn't look directly at him. He cried again at 4.00 am and I put the radio on whilst talking to him and he stopped. There was another cat outside the window that was meowing so much, it sounded like he was telling an entire story!
So I reckon this is 'lonely cry' and I can hold off for the vets for a while thankfully. The cry doesn't sound like a 'pain cry', more like a sad cry and he does seem to react to my talking to him.

[Bazsmum]

Aw bless him.... It must be so frustrating not being able to help him out like you want to! I wish you much luck with whichever way you have him see the vet, whether at home or at the practice! 

Wish his little friend would come inside to reassure him! 

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Franta will sit by my bed and cry during the night and he also goes out on the landing too. If I call his name he usually stops until the next time and when he is by the bed its like he is asking permission to come and lie on the pillow, so he gets up after he has been invited.

Franta shouldnt be lonely but he does crave attention on his terms maybe Buddy is now wanting to get closer to you but is still too scared.

I think Triggers idea ia a good one and if you put a towel over the carrier and door so he cant see what it is.......yes I know he will know LOL..........but then with a rug inside it may become a place he feels safe and then that will help you too 

[miriambuddy]

He did one random cry last week and I called him then and he stopped so that makes sense Sam, thanks.

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

Miriam when he cries have you tried calling him ... he may be lonely and by you calling him to you it will reassure him that you are still in the house.  You never know he may come to you   

[miriambuddy]

Thanks guys. I read that it could be that he is lonely, he has no contact for a month now, it is quite distressing/heartbreaking to hear as all I want to do is help him. I don't have the radio on at night as I wouldn't sleep myself as I'd be singing along to it.(!)
If he cries again tonight, I'll call my vet in the morning to find out what my local options are. I'm just so worried about trying to get him into his carrier, if it would be far too traumatic for him, I don't want to make him feels worse then he already does.

[trigger]

unless it's an emergency, I woud start by putting an open carrier, with treats inside, somewhere he will find it and hopefully see it as a safe place to hide in

you might even be able to shut him in it

incidentally, Tosker used to cry piteously in the house, and  still does a bit, but it is getting less - because the other cats ignore him and he won't come to me, I think he was lonely

[Janeyk]

I would get a vet to check Buddy over Miriam and take it from there if you can't get hold of him you may need to use a trap.  You never know there could be something wrong healthwise that's causing his behaviour 

[finnjim]

So sorry that Buddy is finding hard getting over the experience. You may find it difficult to find a vet tjhat does home visits, that's the case where I live anyway. You're right though, it sounds necessary at this poin, so if you ask around you might find a helpful vet. If not, because he's still unhappy after this long, it may be worth 'biting the bullet' and coaxing him into a carrier... as a last option.

[Yvonne]

I would go for Vet check at home if I were you

Leave behaviourist until after the Vet check

good luck   

[miriambuddy]

Hi guys,
The past two nights, in the middle of the night, Buddy has made a 'trembling crying' sound for a couple of mins and then goes silent again. He is still eating ok and using the litter tray ok. I looked up some info and it advises that the cry could either be medical or behavioural connected. It is virtually impossible to get him to the vets to have a check up, do you think I should see if a vet can do a home visit? Also that for a cat behaviourist to see him, they have to be on referral from a vet. 'm not sure what to do. Any advice please? Thanks, Miriam

[miriambuddy]

thanks Gill, i'll leave it on then as advised.

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

I would definately leave the light on and I have a cat light on everynight till 0500 in utility room and it used to be on all night when I was in London too for Kocka.

The landing light also goes on  as soon as it goes dark and if I forget I have angry cats howling or visiting me to tell me about it.

I would do absolutely nothing to upset the balance he has now. let him lead and you follow 

[Dawn F]

glad to hear it!  I was worried for you!

[miriambuddy]

Not South Acton estate, THANK GOD!, they throw fridges from the balconies on to the police there!. It's the friary estate which is fairly small but not a place you want to enter if you don't have to. I hated it when my searching took me in there!

[Janeyk]

It's just a little corner lamp that provides more of a glow then a spotlight, his hiding place is pretty much in the dark. The last time I switched it off he went crazy, trying to run out of a closed window. I'll try it again tonight to see if he is OK with it. I can still hear him walking about whilst I'm in bed which I like!
His 'girlfriend', a sweet little tortoiseshell has come to the garden a few times, maybe she can smell him through the window!. she never came in the home before so I don't think she would now but i tell Buddy his girlfriend is looking for him!

Next to the road Buddy went missing is a small,  fairly anti-social housing estate and whilst Buddy was missing, there were reports of some of the residents being cruel to animals in the neighbourhood, throwing objects at them etc. I don't know if Buddy experienced any of these attacks but if he did, it could explain his current fear of humans.

If Buddy seems distressed with the lamp turned off then in that case I would leave it on 

terrible about the attacks and it does sound a coincidence

[Dawn F]

you sound like you are doing everything right Miriam, he will come round I'm sure - not south acton estate by any chance??

[miriambuddy]

It's just a little corner lamp that provides more of a glow then a spotlight, his hiding place is pretty much in the dark. The last time I switched it off he went crazy, trying to run out of a closed window. I'll try it again tonight to see if he is OK with it. I can still hear him walking about whilst I'm in bed which I like!
His 'girlfriend', a sweet little tortoiseshell has come to the garden a few times, maybe she can smell him through the window!. she never came in the home before so I don't think she would now but i tell Buddy his girlfriend is looking for him!

Next to the road Buddy went missing is a small,  fairly anti-social housing estate and whilst Buddy was missing, there were reports of some of the residents being cruel to animals in the neighbourhood, throwing objects at them etc. I don't know if Buddy experienced any of these attacks but if he did, it could explain his current fear of humans.

[Shirley]

Poor baby, what on earth could have happened 'outside' to make him so nervous of the one who loves him? I really hope he starts to feel much better very soon, it must be heartbreaking for you x

[Janeyk]

It does sound like it may a while Miriam it really makes you wonder why they change so much.  I think though that I would probably turn the light off or do as you did before this happened as I don't think that Buddy would see the light on in the same way we would.   I think cats quite like the dark and I would, try and keep things (apart from letting him come round at his pace of course) pretty much the way they would be if that makes sense 

[Bazsmum]

Slowly does it... I like the sound of the hidey hole you have made for him Miriam its giving him more space to feel secure in and relax! 

Sounds daft but do you think he would remember his pal? I wonder how he would react to seeing him again! (thats if his pal is the sort to come indoors of course) 

[trigger]

if only we knew what was going on in their heads

I wonder about leaving the light on overnight, though, Miriam - cats like the dark, and often find it relaxing

he would have no problem finding his way around in the dark

[Gill (sneakiefeline)]

Yes I think your vet is right and its good he has moved where he is hiding cos it shows that he has a little confidence to change things around to suit him.

I think he needs a number of hiding places around the room where he believes that he is hiden from view.

He will come round slowly slowly 

[miriambuddy]

Hi Shirley, thanks for asking.
Little Buddy is still under the sofa bless him, on the odd occasion i see him, he still looks scared. I have created a little 'home within a home' for him with a little bed with soft blankets inside a cardboard box, a scratching post with a seat at the top which I put treats on the base to attractive  him (he eats the treats!). He eats when I am asleep or out so there is always fresh food for him and his litter fresh each day. I talk to him all the time. I leave a light on all night so he can see where everything is. The felway diffuser is very close to his hiding place. I spoke to a vet and they said it can literally take him months to settle back in. He changed his hiding place which is giving him more room, now in between the sofa and the bookcase but still hidden. I have faith that one day he will realise that he is safe again.

[Shirley]

How's Buddy doing, Miriam?

[Dawn F]

Oko is pretty good for smells (although a couple of mine are a bit lax with the covering up)!  it tracks a bit but I haven't found anything better so stick with it

[miriambuddy]

especially when the smell can literrally wake you from your sleep!

aah, I've been home a lot today and he walked around a little bit. but on one of his appearance from the bottom of the sofa ( I was sitting on the edge of the sofa), he made me jump (!) which caused him to skid on his legs and panic back under the sofa, oops, trying to gain forgiveness with a tin of tuna, not working yet but hopefully soon

Jolleys is really good with their next day delivery service, reckon I'm gonna become a regular customer, beats breaking your back carrying litter home from the supermarket!

[trigger]

perhaps they think we like having big smelly poos in the house, and leave them for us when they have no dead critters to offer up

[Bazsmum]

My Blackie went AWOL last week and the first thing he did when he got back in was a big poo in the litter tray.... It did make me notice how much he had changed... From feral to domesticated "not quite" but getting there! 

Its a long road but you have ammunition which is patience and tons of it! 

[trigger]

that's a coincidence - I've just ordered a supply of the self-same litter for Tosker, who prefers the tray in the kitchen to the three outdoor soil beds in the patio, and the rest of my garden, not to mention the neighbours' gardens

he even climbs up the fence from the outside, jumps down into the enclosure, comes into the kitchen, wees in the tray, goes back out and climbs the fence again 

[Sam (Fussy_Furball)]

  Ahhh bless him ... I'm sure he will thank you for it in the end Miriam.

[miriambuddy]

I've also ordered 2 more months of felway diffuser and on recommendations on another thread, best cat oko litter instead of the supermarket one I've been using and changing everyday. When your used to your cat using the outside at their loo, you don't realise how smelly it can be!
but I'd bend over backwards to do anything to help him.

[Bazsmum]

Poor Buddy!  Sending calming vibes his direction~~~~~Thinking of you both!